ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction
by kaykyaka
Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue. Last chapter now up, sorry for the delay guys!
1. Recap: The Adventues of ATM continue

The Story So Far . . .

Last time on ATM Shawn turned to drugs to deal with his problems with Rebecca, Edge told Lita the reason she pushed men away was because her soul belonged to Shawn Michaels in Heaven, but he loved her here on Earth and still wanted to get married in March. Lita was relieved and Christian agreed to be Edge's best man.

The Truth: Trish Stratus and Melina the Miraculous continued to guide Randy Orton and deliver him into God's Hands and he was baptised in Orlando by Shawn Michaels. Randy Orton then became TKO: The King's Oracle with the God-given power to know the destiny and destination of anybody by looking at a picture or image of them. Melina was very proud of him but Trish was very worried about Stephanie and tried to explain that Jericho and Hunter were gonna go straight to Hell because of their jealousy over her (Hunter took out Jericho's left eye by throwing an electric wheelchair through the window of a pizzeria when he saw Stephanie and Jericho together).

DX changed their mind about going to TNA and Sting warns the WWE Superstars that Jeff Jarrett wants to get back at Vince for pushing him out of the WWF and making Hunter a Superstar during the Attitude Era instead of him. Stephanie tells her father that she is no longer a McMahon but a Helmsley and Aurora sends a hurricane to destroy Orlando and she nearly killed Vince with a whirlwind but he survived and made friends with the flamboyant X Division member Austin Starr. Aurora liked Austin, especially his voice, and her appetite for destruction was cured by her love of the Mariah Carey song 'Music Box' which Austin and Linda McMahon sang to her and Aurora restored Orlando to its original sunshine state.

TNA and the WWE put on an interbrand show at the Impact tapings where a videotape of Shawn's wife Rebecca having sex with Kevin Nash was played by Paparazzi Productions at the behest of Jeff Jarrett, who announced that Shawn's wife Rebecca was returning to pro wrestling as Whisper 'Queen of the Mountain' as a member of the newly reformed Kings of Wrestling with Jarrett, Nash and Hall. Although the tape was fake the fact that Rebecca and Kevin Nash were really having an affair was too much for the Heartbreak Kid to bear and he collapsed outside the six sided ring at the end of the Impact taping.

In an attempt to cool things down The Rock invited the WWE and TNA wrestlers over to his house for a Back In Business House Party to celebrate the restoration of the WWE Superstars back to health and the eagerly awaited one time only episode of Friday Night RAW.

The Adventures of ATM will now continue in _Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction_.

Author's Note: I would like to thank you all for the encouragement and support of this Christian-themed series, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your reviews guys and I hope you continue to enjoy the Adventures of ATM.

God bless!

Kaykyaka


	2. Out of the Mouths of Babes

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: M

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

A/N: This chapter is rated M for drug use.

One – Out of the Mouths of Babes

The Rock's bedroom:

"Orton open up!" Hunter yelled as Rebecca continued to pound on his back trying to get away from his bear like physique; she might aswell have been tied up because she wasn't getting away from him until she confronted her husband and sorted out their problems to Hunter's satisfaction.

"Orton!" Hunter yelled again banging on the door with his fist causing The Rock, Sting and Cryme Tyme to come over and see what was going on.

"Hey you're knocking on the Rock's bedroom door not the motel of that hooker you arranged to meet you last week after Stephanie wouldn't do that thing you like," The Rock joked.

"Oh she does it now, believe me!" Hunter said suggestively and resumed banging on the door.

"Ssh!" Sting said holding Hunter's fist, "Listen, do you hear that?"

"Here what?" Hunter asked him and Sting told him to be quiet again then Rebecca took a break from her struggle to get free and picked up on the sound Sting was talking about.

"I hear it," she said.

"What is it?" The Rock asked.

"I think it's the sound of me running away!" she said and slid out of Hunter's hands and made a run for the stairway, unfortunately for her Cryme Tyme made sure she didn't get away and tripped her up and hoisted her back over to them, "Let me go I don't wanna talk to Shawn!" she said struggling against them.

"Well you're gonna," JTG said.

"What the Hell is it to you guys?" she asked them indignantly.

"Look Shawn's our boy, DX put us over like nobody's business, we owe it to him to make you confess that you're only gonna screw one of his friends and after this week, you won't screw anymore," Shad said.

"You have my word," Rebecca said holding up her hand up like she was taking a pledge.

"So no more banging Kevin?" Hunter said.

"Why not?" Rebecca demanded and Cryme Tyme laughed at her dismay.

"Becky I don't think you're exactly what HBK had in mind, he wanted a holy woman and he got himself a ho!" JTG said and Shad agreed.

"Word!" Hunter said making a hip-hop gesture with his hands causing Cryme Tyme, The Rock, Sting and Rebecca to look at him unimpressed.

"Oh kay!" they all said then Rebecca resumed her fight to get away and Sting pressed his ear up against the door trying to figure out what that noise was.

"Sting you're getting face paint on my door!" The Rock exclaimed.

"Sorry," The Stinger said trying to erase the paint with his hand causing black marks to appear on the right side of Rocky's bedroom door.

"Get away from the People's Door!," the Rock said to him impatiently and Sting looked down at his black leather boots apologetically.

"Didn't you have time to change after the Impact tapings?" Hunter asked him.

"No Hunter I was a little busy reviving your best friend after he passed out on the outside of the six sided ring before Rocky and me could kick Angle and Jarrett's asses," Sting replied.

"Your show is responsible for that Stinger; how could you let Paparazzi Productions roll that footage, it was fake!" Hunter said and Sting held his hands up innocently while Cryme Tyme slowly backed away hoping that The Game wouldn't see them.

"Where are you two going?" The Rock asked them and they told the People's Champ to be quiet as he came over to them.

"We kind of know how that tape got into Alex Shelley's possession," Shad said scratching the back of his head trying to be as vague as possible and look good at the same time.

"How?" The Rock asked them.

"We sold it to him for $9.95," JTG replied and The Rock burst out laughing.

"$9.95?" he asked holding his stomach with laughter, "You guys can't be serious?"

"Oh but we are serious, we had footage of Shawn and Rebecca getting their freak on in the hospital and Rebecca wanted us to get rid of it. I wanted something to eat, but didn't have no change, so we sold it to Shelley, I got my burger and fries and Super sized it too! I was hungrier than a mutha but I ain't no more!" Shad explained, "We didn't think anything of it since Alex was supposed to be down with the Kliq and he wouldn't do anything to embarrass one of the founding members!"

"Yeah, oops!" JTG added covering his mouth to illustrate the huge miscalculation they made on that judgment call.

"Ooops is right, the Kliq is dead Cryme Tyme, once a woman gets involved, it's over," The Rock said.

"What was that?" Sean Waltman said coming out of the bathroom with his cell-phone. The Rock smelled the air as the bathroom door opened.

"Is that marijuana I smell?" he said suspiciously in his normal voice.

"Sorry Rock I thought I heard you say the Kliq is dead, care to explain yourself homeboy?" XPac said ignoring The Rock's previous question.

"Homeboy?" Cryme Tyme said at the same tyme.

"The only one who's gonna do some explaining around here is you when your momma finds her son's broken body hanging outside her front porch now get that shit outta my house!" The Rock snapped.

"Actually Pac hit me up with one of those," Rebecca said reaching into her Gucci purse for some cash and everybody looked at her like she was losing her mind, "What? It's only weed it's not gonna kill me?" she reasoned.

"But Shawn is if he sees you smoking that shit!" Hunter exclaimed.

"Smokin, cheating, what's next Becky huh? You gonna be a big booty dancer in a hip-hop video?" Shad asked her, "Cos you got the ass for it no doubt!"

"Hey don't you worry about me, I'm my own woman now I can do whatever I want, Pac pass the blunt," she said holding out $200 to him which he took and Hunter snatched it away from him.

"You want $200? Go sell some of your hair at the weave shop downtown, this is not funny Becky, fix up, shut up and get ready to get right back together with your husband - Orton open this door now!" Hunter shouted and the door finally opened.

"You really think I could be a big booty dancer?" Rebecca asked Shad and Hunter grabbed her by the arm and marched her into the room with The Rock, XPac, Sting and Cryme Tyme not far behind.

"G'AH!" they all screamed covering their eyes and ran back out of the room closing the door behind them.

"Did I see what I think I just saw?" Sting asked The Rock.

"No doubt!" Shad replied in shock.

"Lita was completely-" Hunter said.

"Totally-" JTG added.

"100 percent-" The Rock continued then they all said together: "BALD!"

"Ya'll still want me to get rid of this?" XPac asked pointing to the bag of marijuana in his pocket.

"You better roll one of them joints and pass it this way around!" The Rock said not wanting to think about Lita's bald head anymore.

"Yes its not like we really wanna get high or anything," Sting said.

"Nope, we just wanna forget!" Hunter said frantically as XPac passed his joint around.

"The horror, oh the horror!" Rebecca said taking the first puff.

Inside The Rock's bedroom Randy was watching as the wrestlers got high outside the door and laughed to himself, slowly Shawn began to stir and raised his hand up to Lita's head and felt an unfamiliar smoothness up there. He opened his eyes and gasped in horror.

"ARGHHH!" he screamed and Lita woke up and felt her head.

"Where'd all my hair go?" she said and looked around at all the red hair on the pillow and carpet below, "Did something happen while we were asleep?" she asked Shawn who was looking at her with eyes as wide as saucers.

"Yeah, you got real ugly!" he replied, "I gotta go," he said and jumped over to the door but Randy blocked his exit, "Move, I can't look at that head one moment longer!" he panicked.

"Shawn you don't wanna go out there," Randy told him and Shawn pulled on the knob trying to twist it.

"Yes I do!" he said almost pulling the knob off.

"Your wife is outside with Hunter, The Rock, Sting, Cryme Tyme and XPac getting high," Orton told him trying to be impartial but Shawn was looking at him like he'd grown a second head.

"She's what?" Shawn said taking his hands away from the knob.

"She's smoking a joint, you know, to relieve the tension of seeing you and Lita in bed together," Randy answered.

"She came in here?" Shawn said in shock, "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"And risk disturbing the Renewal of your spirit, I don't think so," Randy answered, "You see while you were sleeping Lita was using her Anointing to mend your broken spirit and it nearly worked until Hunter came a-knocking like the Cerebral nut job that he is insisting that I open the door,"

"And you did? Why didn't you come up with an excuse?" Shawn said incredulously.

"I did one better, I shaved Lita's head," Randy said showing Shawn the electric shaver in his hand.

"So what happened when they saw us lying on the bed, sleeping with our arms around each other?" Shawn asked nervously but remembering how nice the last few moments had been.

"They didn't see you HBK, I hid you under the covers, all they saw was Lita asleep with her head shaved bald," Randy replied and Shawn started to lighten up.

"Oh," he said seeing the humor in the whole thing apart from the marijuana part, "Still I don't want Becky getting high she's been crazy enough this week she doesn't have to go there,"

"What's that smell?" Lita said picking up her red locks from off of The Rock's bed and carpet.

Shawn held his nose, "Oh no, the marijuana's coming into the room! Quick everybody out!" he said grabbing Lita from off the bed but she pulled him back and told him to chill, "Chill? What are you high, its the marijuana I tell you! Come here let me see your eyes!"

Lita pulled away from him and explained, "It doesn't say anywhere in the Bible that God's people shouldn't smoke weed,"

"It doesn't say that we shouldn't have sex with children either but that doesn't mean its okay! Wait actually it does say we shouldn't have sex with children," Shawn remembered thinking back to the Old Testament.

"Only you would compare smoking weed to pedophilia," Randy said confused.

"Because they're both illegal!" Shawn snapped.

"Yes but only one of them is a sin, oh that smells rich," Lita said sniffing the air.

"Yeah XPac got some real good stuff," Randy said enjoying the smell himself.

"Oh for God's sake!" Shawn snapped marching over to the door and pulling it open, "Hey knock it off!" he yelled at the high circle of wrestling newbies and veterans and his beautiful wife unaware that he was standing right in front of her.

"Hey Shawn whassup man?" Sting said as Shawn held his nose.

"Stinger?" HBK said incredulously, "You of all people should know that smoking marijuana is wrong!"

"No bald headed women are wrong, this is just recreational," Sting replied as the joint came back around to him, "Thanks man," he said to The Rock who inhaled deeply on the last drag.

"No problem," he said, "We got plenty more where that came from right XPac?" he said patting Sean Waltman on the back and HBK shook his head at the Kliq member in disgust.

"I should have know you'd be behind this," he said disparagingly and snatched the bag of weed and shoved it down his pants, "Where's the A/C in this place?" he said looking around for the air conditioner panel.

"That dude needs some of this bad," Hunter said dazed and confused holding the joint to his lips when Shawn came and slapped it out of his mouth, "Hey quit it God boy you're bringing us all down!" Hunter complained as Shawn vacuumed up the joint, then took the vacuum cleaner into The Rock's bedroom and started to vacuum up Lita's hair.

"Hey I coulda sold that downtown for $9.95! Red's in now, just ask Melina and Victoria, they didn't come outta their momma's looking like that!" JTG complained coming back into the room and gasping again at the sight of Lita and made a swift exit thinking she was the one in need of a good weave.

Lita smiled not bothered by her baldness because as of this next Monday she wouldn't work for the Fed anymore, she would be starting her new life off the road with her soon-to-be-first husband Adam Copeland and he loved her just the way she was.

Downstairs in The Rock's living room:

"URGH!" Edge said as his fiancé came down with Randy leaving Shawn upstairs with Hunter and Rebecca to talk and Lita sighed in despair at her soon-to-be-first-husband's response to her new hair style, only minus the hair part.

"It was an emergency; Hunter came upstairs and wanted to talk to Shawn while Lita was Renewing his spirit and I didn't want him to get the wrong idea if he saw Lita and Shawn in bed together - oops!" Randy said covering his mouth as Edge lowered his hands from his face.

"You and Shawn were in bed together?" he said in disbelief and Lita rolled her eyes knowing where he was about to go.

"Yeah but not like that," Randy assured him, "Just with their arms around each other looking all cute and . . . " he trailed off on account of the throbbing vein popping up on Edge's forehead as he glared at his future wife.

"Somethng wrong with my arms Lita? I could wrap them around you right now!" he snapped and Lita squeezed his lips closed.

"Edge I was anointing him, we had to be close to do it, or it wouldn't have worked," she explained and Edge exhaled pulling his hair out of his face and calmed down quickly.

"Of course Lita I'm sorry its just the words "you", "Shawn" and "bed" shouldn't go together, _ever_," he said and Lita gave him a kiss, or at least she would have if he wasn't backing away from her in disgust and into Trish and Melina.

"What's wrong with you?" Melina asked the tall Canadian who looked a little out of sorts, it didn't take the Latina to work out why when her bald sister in Christ made her way towards her and Trish, "Wow, you're completely-"

"Totally-" Edge added.

"100 percent" Trish added.

"BALD!" Stephanie McMahon gasped coming over to her and clutching her head, "Lita don't you want to look good for your wedding! Why did you do this?"

"I didn't Randy did," Lita explained and Stephanie motioned for the former Legend Killer to come over and explain himself as more and more people noticed Lita was bald.

"What is wrong with you Orton? I thought you were done with harrassing women now that you've been born again?" Stephanie asked him displeased.

"This is not an antic, it's a tactic," Orton explained, "I had to distract Hunter from seeing Shawn in bed with Lita,"

"Shawn was in bed with Lita?" Stephanie asked him incredulously and turned to Lita and wagged her finger at her angrily, "Lita, I thought you were done with all the promiscuous antics now that you're Anointed, why did you do that?"

"Stephanie I didn't sleep with Shawn I anointed him okay? Calm down, my hair will grow back before the wedding, its not for 2 weeks remember?" Lita reminded Stephanie.

"Actually no it won't," Trish told her and Lita went pale.

"What?" she said incredulously.

"It won't grow back," Trish told her.

"You mean - I'm bald?" Lita said freaking out.

"Yep, bald like an eagle," Trish assured her, "at least until after the war,"

Everyone frowned at the former Women's Champion, "What war?" Melina asked.

"The war in Iraq," Trish replied.

"What!" Lita exclaimed, "Great I'm bald for life!"

"Now, now Lita where's that faith you're always talking about?" Brandon said coming over to her with Miss. Taylor.

"It just went out the window," Lita grumbled, "Along with my hair, I wonder if I could get inside that vacuum cleaner?" she thought to herself and Edge frowned.

"Come on Lita it's just hair, imagine if you had cancer or something, what would you do then?" Brandon said.

"Wear a wig," Miss. Taylor suggested and Lita ran back up the stairs.

"Lita wait you can borrow my hat!" Edge said chasing after her.

"I don't see what the big deal is, she's still gorgeous," Brandon said.

"Brandon a woman and her hair are like Siamese twins - inseparable, how could you Randy? The woman looks like a monk!" Miss. Taylor told Orton who shrugged.

"I'm not bothered, I know in Heaven looks don't matter, unlike down here where looks are what brought me my fame, fortune and success in the WWE - well that and the fact that I was the Youngest World Heavyweight Champion ever, but who cares? I'm too wise to get caught up on such shallow things Miss. Taylor," Randy said and Miss. Taylor looked down embarrassed.

"Plus it's not like its not gonna grow back," Trish said and everyone looked at her confused.

"You just said it wouldn't grow back until after the war in Iraq ends - that means never," Stephanie said and Trish shook her head.

"When are you guys going to understand that by faith, mountains can be moved and the impossible becomes possible?" she said.

"So you're saying the war's gonna end?" Carlito asked munching on a burrito.

"I'm not saying anything I'm done, you got one of those for me right?" she said holding her hand out to Carlito.

"Yeah and it was the last one too, The Rock's eaten like half the buffet, he's the worst host ever," Carlito said and everyone turned to see The Rock, Cryme Tyme and Sting ripping through the buffet like they hadn't eaten in days.

"If I didn't know better I'd say they were high," Stephanie said and Trish started to laugh.

"Mel, let's go get our girl a wig," she said linking her arm in Melina's, "Rocky's wife's got the best closet you've ever seen in your life,"

"Ooh!" Melina said excitedly; if Trish said it was the best closet, it had to be good! Nitro and Carlito followed and Stephanie walked over to the buffet table to ask The Rock why he was eating all the food when the King of the World decided to crash the party.

"Where's that SOB husband of yours?" he asked her and Stephanie gulped at the sparkly purple eye patch over Chris Jericho's left eye. Only Chris Jericho could turn something so ugly into a fashion statement, it couldn't be said that Jericho couldn't turn a bad situation like losing his eye into something stylish. Concerned as she was, Stephanie couldn't help but be impressed by the resilience of Y2J.

The Rock's bedroom:

In the closet Cassidy Montenegro was playing dress up with Aaliyah Mysterio, Kaylee Marie, Shaul and Sherylin Guerrero while Dominic Mysterio kept a look out for The Rock's wife who had told them specifically to stay out of there. The closet was in the back part of the huge Master bedroom and they went completely unnoticed by Shawn, Rebecca, Hunter and XPac, the latter of whom didn't know where the door was anyway; they were consumed in purple haze thanks to XPac's marijuana.

"I've never seen so many clothes in my life," Cassidy said pulling Mrs. Dwayne Johnson's favorite white hat down on her loose brown hair.

"Yeah Mrs. Johnson loves to shop," Kaylee said wrapping a hot pink feather boa around her neck.

"I'll take that," Austin Starr said creeping into the closet with the children and taking the bright pink accessory from around Kaylee's neck.

"Hey you can't be in here, we're friends of The Rock not TNA," Dominic said taking the pink boa and pulling it back.

"Look kid I already lost one of these to that SOB Hunter Hurst Helmsley I ain't about to lose one to Rey Mysterio's kid now let go!" Austin demanded but Dominic was relentless and he yanked the boa back with such force that Austin went flying out of the closet and crashed at the foot of The Rock's bed. Hunter looked down and saw the flamboyant hi flyer looking up at him holding his head with disdain.

"Hey its that gay guy from TNA," he said, "Are you here to sew The Rock's pants because I think his in-seam needs a little trimming, if you know what I mean,"

"No I don't know what you mean because you're high you stupid overpaid glory hound!" Austin snapped and rose to his feet, "Since when do you get high anyway?"

"Since I saw Lita's head shaved, it wasn't pretty man . . . unlike you!" Hunter said squeezing Austin's cheek like he was a little boy.

"Knock it off Queen of Queens," Austin replied expecting a slap but it didn't come and he looked at Shawn for an explanation.

"He's coming down Austin so don't worry about it, I got rid of the stash," Shawn said and Austin looked him up and down suspiciously.

"Shawn I had no idea you were so well endowed?" he laughed and Shawn rolled his eyes as everyone laughed at the bulge in his pants were the marijuana was hidden, "I should have known you'd be behind this whole thing, why can't you just say no? You're gonna lose your job and then you'll have to stay home with the wife and kids. Boring!" Austin said.

"No that would be TNA," Shawn said glaring at XPac who rolled his eyes.

"Come on what's a little weed between friends huh, I mean it's not like I shared it with Kevin now did I?" Sean said in his own defense.

"Yeah it's not like its heroin or freaking cocaine Shawn," Rebecca snapped cruelly and Shawn swallowed his pride in shame.

"Becky are you at all sorry for screwing Big Sexy cos it sure doesn't sound like it," Shawn asked her.

"No Shawn I'm not, and when I'm done here I'm going back to Kevin's house and we're gonna do it again, just so I have something to remember when I'm back in San Antonio screwing your skinny little ass," she said and Shawn just looked at her in disbelief.

" I only took those drugs because I was scared I might lose you!" he pleaded.

"Yeah and while we're on the subject his ass is fantastic!" Austin added and XPac laughed while Hunter pie-faced him onto the carpet.

"Why don't we change the subject?" Hunter said with a smirk still a little high but coming down now. Rebecca was back on solid ground now and she had a lot of stuff she wanted to get off her chest.

"So what happens if something else happens that doesn't meet with your expectations of me Shawn? Wait I know, you'll get drugged up again and pass out in front of your son with vomit coming out of your mouth!" Becky roared her buzz gone and reality seeping back in.

"Okay I've come down now," XPac said Rebecca's anger killing what was left of his and Hunter's buzz.

"Me too," Hunter added.

"You said you forgave me for that!" Shawn retaliated.

"Shawn I forgave a lot of the stuff you put me through but yet here you are being all judgmental because your friends and I want to get a little high, like you haven't spent the most of your adult life tripping off something," Rebecca replied acidically and Dominic, Kaylee, Shaul, Sherylin, Aaliyah and Cassidy came out of the closet to hear what the adults were arguing about.

"For two whole years I stayed up listening to you throw up and wondered when you were going to straighten yourself out, if it wasn't for the Kliq especially Big Daddy Cool whose known you the longest you probably would never have gotten clean and to this day you still rely on your friends to bail you out when shit gets rough and I'm sick of it!" Rebecca snapped and Shawn leapt to his feet.

"What is all this really about Becky? Because I don't remember you being so put out about this before, ever since you found out Lita and I are eternal soul mates you've become a totally different person," he asked her, "You're totally acting like a jealous housewife!"

"No Shawn I'm done acting! I've always been honest with you only back then I sympathized with your situation; you were forced into early retirement your dream of becoming a wrestler was dashed on the rocks, most likely the rocks of crack you bought from that drug dealer in downtown Los Angeles remember that?" she quipped harshly and Hunter lowered his head into his hands.

"I don't believe this," he said sadly pulling his hair out of his face.

"What you didn't know about that?" Rebecca asked him, "What else didn't you know about that, you didn't know that Shawn smoked and snorted nearly everything he could get his hands on including crack, crystal meth and Angel dust? I believe that's what psychiatrists refer to as 'Selective memory' But I wouldn't be surprised Hunter, HBK Shawn Michaels is the Main Event, the Showstoppa, the Icon - he can't let all his dirty secrets out the press would bury him if they knew after he left the Fed he be reveled in being the biggest drug addict in South Texas!"

Cassidy watched as Shawn cried into his hands as his wife told all about all his sordid past time activity.

"Is she for real?" Cassidy said surprised by Mrs. Michaels' cruel words to her husband of 7 years.

"No she is totally tripping," Shaul said angrily and stormed out of the closet dressed in a sparkly blue dress and heels at least one size too big for her feet and a tiara on her head. Yep she was Little Miss Latin America and she was about to give her big speech.

"Shaul! Mi pequeña princesa!(my little princess)What are you doing up here you should be downstairs enjoying the party," Shawn said coming over to her and giving her a hug.

Shaul grimaced at the tears in his eyes as he leaned over to hug her and she stared straight through him and kept her eyes locked on his mean wife who up until now was one of the nicest women she'd ever met.

"Hello Uncle Shawn I'm sorry to interrupt your conversation but there's something I just don't understand and I don't think I will go downstairs and play until Aunt Rebecca tells me why she's being so mean to you," Shaul replied curtly and Rebecca shot her a surprised look while Shawn lowered himself to his knees so Shaul was looking at him eye-to-eye.

"This is a big people's conversation Shaul, you really have no business talking to my wife like that," he said and Shaul pursed her lips not buying his response.

"I think my mother will disagree," she said, "Come on guys, oh a le vato!" she said calling her amigas and amigo over in Spanish.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Hunter said blocking their path, "How much of this conversation did you hear?" he asked the children.

"Why we're still gonna tell on Mrs. Michaels," Dominic said crossing his arms adamantly over the People's leather jacket and wearing the People's Armani sunglasses which were falling off his face.

"Guys please don't tell anybody what you heard up here, Shawn's going through enough Hell as it is," Hunter asked them.

"Okay deal," Sherylin said and the kids looked at her surprised.

"At a girl Sherylin," Hunter said squeezing her cheek condescending.

"On one condition," she continued taking her cheek back, "Aunt Rebecca apologizes to Uncle Shawn and they kiss and make up, right now,"

"What! No Way!" Rebecca said crossing her arms stubbornly.

"But why, he didn't do anything to you really, all that stuff he did to himself," Cassidy explained, "Come on think of Chey and Cam, they're gonna be devastated if you guys break up,"

"I am thinking of Cam and Chey - look why am I even talking to you little girl," Rebecca said to Cassidy who swallowed hard at Rebecca's acidic tone and Shaul shook her head in disgust.

"Usted es una perra," she said derisively and Shawn admonished her instantly understanding exactly what that meant.

"Shaul what would your mother say if she heard you talking like that?" HBK said.

"She's say "Es Shawn verdadero casó una perra," (you're right, Shawn's wife is acting like a total bitch!)" Shaul replied, "No wife would disrespect her husband if she cared for him like this, maybe you should remember that before taking this woman who calls herself a Christian home to Cam and Chey, they deserve to know what to expect when they come home," Shaul said and marched out of the room with her two sisters, Dominic, Aaliyah and Cassidy Montenegro behind her leaving Shawn speechless.

"From the mouth of babes," Austin Starr said with a smile, "I gotta get me a kid, they don't BS like we do, they tell it like it is," he said and wrapped his newly claimed feather boa around Shawn's neck, "It's time for a change," he said and kissed HBK on the forehead before disappearing into Mrs. Johnson's closet leaving Shawn wondering what it was gonna take to get his wife to forgive him for his past mistakes.


	3. Good Wife, Bad Wife

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA families.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Two - Good Wife/Bad Wife

Bakersfield, California, Midnight:

LC put down her cell phone and jumped back under her covers. The door creaked open and Charlotte poked her head around the side with squinted eyes.

"LC?" she said as her sister snored loudly hoping her sister would believe she was asleep, "What did Cassidy say about Shawn and Rebecca?" she asked and LC knew she was busted and came out from under the covers and turned to face her older sister.

"She said they're up in The Rock's room talking it out but it doesn't look good," LC replied.

"Why not?" Charlotte asked coming in to sit next to her.

"Because Rebecca's being a total B-I-T-C-H, you know a Bossy- Irritating-Twisted- Careless-Ho,"

"LC!" Charlotte snapped disapprovingly, "I'm sure she's got good reason for behaving the way she is,"

"She slept with Kevin Nash," LC replied and Charlotte snapped on the light like lightning.

"That B-I-T-C-H!" she spat.

"I told you," LC said.

"How could she do that to Shawn? He's the nicest guy in the world not to mention totally crazy about her!" Charlotte said grabbing at her hair in disbelief.

"According to Cassidy he did something like 7 years ago that really pissed her off," LC said going to get her boots while Charlotte mulled over the information her baby sister had just disclosed to her.

"Rebecca cheated on her husband, wow, I bet it has something to do with that woman in the golden sandals," she said, she thought Rebecca was a saint or at least the wife of a saint.

"Sis that was Lita," LC reminded her.

"And what about Cam and Chey? They don't deserve this! I need to talk to Dan, get some perspective on this, hey what's with the boots?" Charlotte said breaking her rant on as LC pulled on her left boot and tied her hair into a ponytail while Charlotte noticed that her backpack was packed as well.

"Oh no, LC come on," Charlotte said holding her hand up, "there's no way were going to Florida,"

"Cassie's expecting me, I gotta go," LC said getting her suitcase.

"Well why did you tell her you were coming down?" Charlotte said.

"Because Dan's going to New York anyway and he's stopping over in Miami, come on Char we'll go with him and make our way The Rock's house," LC answered and Charlotte gushed.

"Man I can't believe we know WWE wrestlers, now not only do I get to meet The Rock, I get to go over to his house too!" Charlotte said clutching her hands in glee.

"And that party is far from over, by the time we get there it won't even be only half done," LC said, "Now get dressed, Carla, Cam and Chey are downstairs waiting," LC said walking out of the room.

Charlotte whizzed around the door and stood in front of her stopping her descent down the stairs.

"But Dan's flight's not for three hours!" she said and LC patted her on the arm.

"Charlotte that was so yesterday, I changed the tickets, we fly out in an hour - try to keep up," LC said leaving her sister dazed and confused as her husband came out of their bedroom dressed and ready to go.

"Come on Charlotte we've got a plane to catch," he said leaving the new bride thinking a lot had happened while she was sleeping.

"You guys okay?" LC asked CC as they sat on the couch waiting to go and see their parents. Carla leaned her head on Cameron's shoulder and he kissed her head appreciatively.

"Is it true about my mom and Uncle Kevin?" he asked LC.

"Cam please, don't get all mushy on me I'm not built that way, ask her," she said pointing to CarlaBcool.

"She won't tell me," Cameron replied and Carla turned to him affectionately placing her hand on his face.

"Just wait until we get to Miami, then you can find out for yourself," she explained.

"BCool's right, better to hear it straight from the whore's mouth," LC said and Carla looked at her darkly, "I'm kidding!" she said, "We need confirmation on that, the sooner my sister gets her head in the game the closer you'll be to finding out what's going on with your mother,"

"Mommy been bad?" Cheyenne asked her older brother and Cameron shrugged.

"I don't know Chey, I sure hope not," he said worriedly and Carla hugged him while LC said a silent prayer that after tonight everything would be as it was last week at the Michaels' household, otherwise Cham and Chey could be staying for longer and there was only so much of Cameron and Carla kissing she could take. She decided to call her favorite Superstar and tell him to sit tight because LC was coming to Miami!

"Hunt? What do you mean who is this it's LC! Dude what's wrong with you? Hey man don't worry about that I assure you there's a very good reason why I'm not asleep right now but why don't I tell you in person? What do I mean? You'll see, spare me some pancakes and don't mooch on the syrup!"

LC hung up on a very surprised Triple H who was now smiling from ear-to-ear; if LC meant what he thought she meant there was a chance that Shawn and Rebecca would be going home a happily married couple after all rather than the totally doomed couple that were arguing in front of him in the People's Bedroom.

"Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it!" Shawn cried and Rebecca jumped up and stormed over to him.

"Okay, forgive me," she said and he narrowed his eyes at her and looked at The Game who nodded for him to say that he forgave her.

"Okay, I forgive you," Shawn said.

"What for?" Rebecca asked him.

"For sleeping with Kevin what else?" Shawn asked confused.

"No-no-no Shawn I don't need your forgiveness for that, I need you to forgive me for putting up with all your crap; the drugs, the alcohol the going back on the road full time and putting your knee surgery off - again! That's what I mean when I say forgive me. So do you?" she asked him more clearly and Shawn paced back and forth, "Well?" she said impatiently.

"Wait-a-second," he said thinking deeply.

"What is there to think about man just tell her your sorry and make up already," Hunter said but Shawn still paced. Finally he stopped and looked over at Rebecca.

"No," he said and Rebecca got hot while Hunter fell back onto The Rock's bed exasperated.

"Fine!" Rebecca snapped and stormed out slamming the door behind her.

Hunter shot up and demanded an explanation, "What's the matter with you we could have been done with this!" he snapped and Shawn calmed him down.

"She's not herself Hunter she doesn't even know what she's asking me," Shawn said.

"So what difference does it make if you humor her Shawn? Don't you want to end this drama? I know I've got a headache," Hunter said in frustration.

"Hunter please I know what I'm doing," Shawn said and Hunter rolled his eyes causing Shawn to pause and question his best friend's reaction, "What you don't think I know what I'm doing?"

"Shawn, in the past 24 hours you've been drunk, high and seen your wife getting drilled by an old and dear friend of ours, to think you could be in the right frame of mind after that would be crazy of me and I'm a lot of things but crazy isn't one of them; I live in reality Shawn and the reality is your wife is pissed at you for being Lita's eternal soul mate and she will do anything she can to make sure that don't happen," Hunter explained.

"And how is she gonna do that?" Shawn asked.

"Well I'm no Christian but I do believe divorce isn't approved of in Heaven," Hunter said and Shawn went blank.

"I'm not divorcing my wife, it will not come to that okay?" Shawn said adamantly.

"Oh yes it will come to that so you better start acting like a devoted husband! Give her want she wants, tell her want she wants to hear, to put it frankly Shawn: you need to kiss Becky's ass, it will let her know you still care about her and yes I know you do love her already so don't jump down my throat!" Hunter said as Shawn was about to reaffirm his love for his wife, "Just act like you cheated on her and you want to make it up to her in any way you can okay?"

Shawn nodded, "I hear you Hunter but I didn't cheat on her she cheated on me, if I act guilty its only going to make this thing between me and Lita seem realer than it is, if I convince her that she's the one acting childishly. . ." Shawn trailed off when he saw the look of disapproval on Hunter's face, "What?" he asked.

"Shawn women don't want to hear that they're wrong, especially when it comes to another woman, please just tell her what she wants to hear and stop living by the book," Hunter said and Shawn frowned wondering what book Hunter was talking about as he escorted Shawn out of the room and downstairs to the party that was still buzzing thanks to the banging music, celebrity party animals and Rebecca doing a little striptease in the middle of The People's Living Room.

"Damn!" Cryme Tyme said as she danced all around like a stripper, Stephanie was too shocked by what she was seeing to warn her husband that Jericho was looking for him and by the time she took her eyes off Becky it was too late. Hunter found himself at the bottom of The People's pool courtesy of a very pissed off Y2J. Fortunately Torrie, Victoria and Mickie were also in there so it wasn't all bad.

"Hunter are you okay?" Torrie asked as The Game came back up to the surface. He looked over at her a smiled.

"I think I need a little mouth-to-mouth," he said acting like he could barely breath and just as Torrie was about to administer the technique, Jericho pulled Hunter up by his shirt and dragged him out of the water by his collar.

"I'll give you a little mouth-to-mouth!" he roared and pulled his fist back ready to punch The Game in the face when The Rock grabbed his hand and pulled Jericho away from Triple H.

"You two are always at each other, well not tonight jabronis we got a serious problem on our hands," he told Jericho as The Game removed his wet shirt, shoes, socks and finally his pants. The female guests made Ric Flair noises while the guys laughed.

"A little cold in there huh?" Shelton said and The Game looked down at his groin and ran back upstairs to The People's wardrobe while Stephanie tried to stop the other men from staring at Rebecca who grinding up and down on Shad from Cryme Tyme. Shad looked over at Stephanie concerned but Rebecca was intent on getting her groove on so he let her.

"Lita lil' help?" Stephanie called over to the former red-head who had just come back downstairs after failing to find a suitable wig to cover up her bald head even though Trish insisted she looked better with no hair.

"Whoa!" Melina said as ATM saw Rebecca grinding up on Carlito and within seconds she was being yanked by her hair over to all three of them by Trish Stratus.

"Trish come on it's a party!" she said defending her actions.

"If it's a party why does your husband look like he wants to kill himself?" Trish asked her angrily and Rebecca ignored him.

"He's fine he's in love with - ah!" Rebecca screamed when she saw Lita's head up close, "Oh my God you're hideous!"

Lita covered her head self-consciously, "Is it that bad?" she asked Edge who unconsciously ran his fingers through his thick and glossy locks causing Lita to panic even more as Rebecca held her stomach with laughter. She walked over to her husband still laughing and put her arms around him.

"Oh honey I'm so sorry for acting like a jealous housewife, now I know I ain't got nothing to worry about, as long as Lita looks like that, Edge is in for a very long engagement, ha-ha!" she said cruelly and Lita crossed her arms not amused by Rebecca's mean words but as Shawn hugged his wife he smiled at Lita over his wife's shoulder thanking her for not having any hair and giving his wife the motivation to be his again. Lita gave him a smile telling him it was her pleasure as she ran her hand across her shaved head; after all being a Christian was all about sacrifices.

"I guess you're gonna have to get used to this," she said to Edge who shrugged.

"We're getting married in two weeks, I don't care," he told her honestly and Lita kissed him on the lips causing Hunter to smile as he came back down the stairs dressed in one of The Rock's tracksuits. Stephanie rested her head on his broad chest relieved that Rebecca's crazy behavior was finally in remission.

"Looks like things are gonna be okay for Shawn and Becky," she said, now all she had to do was sort out her husband and Chris Jericho and this week would have been very successful for all her family and friends. Shawn and Rebecca kissed, Cryme Tyme and the Hardyz grimaced.

"I'm glad you finally forgive me Rebecca," Shawn said, "You have absolutely no reason to be jealous of Lita,"

"Yeah, I mean what's a woman without her hair? Just an ugly old maid," Rebecca said and Edge tapped her on the shoulder.

"Lita is not ugly," he told Rebecca.

"Edge shut up," Shawn said through his teeth hoping Edge would just let it go but the Rated R Superstar wasn't going to let his fiancé be disrespected in a room full of their friends and co-workers, especially the Hardyz.

"No Shawn he's right, Lita's not ugly," Rebecca said squeezing her husband's hand reassuringly, "We all have to tell ourselves lies now and again, let Edge believe that he's not married to a man,"

The Superstars were shocked at Rebecca's cruelty; she was always so nice to everyone at company functions this was a side of her they'd never seen, Shawn could see the surprise on their faces and he started to wonder if he should risk upsetting her by saying something; this wasn't like her at all but he didn't want to piss her off so he stayed quiet, unfortunately for him Trish couldn't.

"Don't talk to Shawn's eternal soul mate like that!" she said and Rebecca's face darkened instantly at the Canadian blond.

"Trish be quiet!" Hunter told The Truth.

"Oh go smoke a bowl," Trish told Hunter causing Cryme Tyme, Carlito, Shelton and Nitro to laugh, "You have as much chance of keeping me quiet as Shawn's wife does of forgiving Shawn for belonging to another woman, a much better, nicer, sexier, friendlier and more fertile woman I might add,"

The WWE Superstars gasped including Edge; _Fertile?_ Edge thought and started making up baby names while Lita wondered when they would find the time to see how fertile she was.

"Trish it seems like you've got this whole thing under control, would you and Mel mind if me and Edge go down to the beach and "hang out" for a few say, hours?" she asked The Truth who shook her head while Melina giggled.

"No you're needed here, despite what this deluded woman thinks," Trish said looking at the angry Mrs. Michaels.

"Shawn belongs to me!" Rebecca snapped angrily.

"For a long period of time, after that, he belongs to Anointed Amy and there's nothing you can do about it so get over yourself and stop putting Lita down!" Trish demanded and Rebecca clenched her jaw furiously.

"I'll prove that he belongs to me," she said and whipped around to her husband, "Shawn, I want to renew our wedding vows,"

"Okay," Shawn nodded enthusiastically, "Anything else?"

"I want another child," she added and Shawn caressed her hips and bit his bottom lip amorously burying his head in the crook of her neck.

"I think that can be arranged," he breathed seductively kissing her exposed shoulder.

"I'll bet you $1 million dollars I can get her pregnant before you can," Edge said and Lita burst out laughing much to Trish's chagrin.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh, I'm Anointed I should know better, you still got that video camera?" she asked Edge humorously.

"We'll get the video camera!" Cryme Tyme volunteered putting their hands up.

"NO!" Shawn and Rebecca snapped and Cryme Tyme jumped at the volume of their voices.

"Anything else for you baby?" Shawn asked Rebecca planting kisses along her shoulder lovingly.

"Yes - I want you to retire," Rebecca answered and the room went so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Shawn removed his lips from Rebecca's neck and looked at her questioningly.

"What?" Shawn gasped and Rebecca shook her head smiling and locked her hands behind his neck looking deep into his blue-grey eyes.

"Oh honey you've misunderstood me; I'm still going to be Whisper "Queen of the Mountain" with Kevin and Jeff Jarrett, but you are going to prove to me that you are deserving of my love and stay home with the kids," she explained and kissed Shawn along the cheek and down his neck as he furrowed his brow in confusion and he wasn't the only one.

"You're still going to TNA?" he said in disbelief.

"That's right, every Thursday night on Impact starting next week. I figured if you could spend all your time on the road surely I could go back out there and strut my stuff too, according to Shad and JTG I'm still one hot looking wifey, I reckon I'll do good, what do you think honey?" she asked her husband who was almost frozen by her words. He gently released her and stared directly into her eyes.

"Well Becky to be honest . . . I think that's great!" he said and the jaws of all the Superstars expect Hunter's and ATM's dropped.

"Becky baby we was playing witchu!" Cryme Tyme said in disbelief.

"Are you freaking kidding me you just can't do Shawn like that?" Jeff Hardy said holding his head in disbelief.

"Hold on a second Becky let's talk about this," Chris Benoit said coming over to the couple but Hunter blocked his path.

"Stay out of this!" he roared, "You all have so much to say but until you've thrown it up with Shawn, XPac, Hall and Nash you ain't got no right telling any of us what to do with our lives! This is a Kliq thing, not a Four Horseman, Radicalz or Guerrero thing!"

The WWE and TNA stars looked down as The Game rebuked them.

"Now Chris I know you consider Shawn to be a good friend but he's to me what Eddie is to you okay? I wouldn't tell you how to deal with life after Eddie and I don't expect you to tell Shawn what to do in his marriage either. This is between the Kliq and you're not even a candidate, neither are you Rocky, or you Sting, so you all need to back off and let us take care of things are way,"

"Your way?" Jericho said in disbelief removing his eye patch and turning so everyone could see his missing eye. They all gasped in horror at the mutilated organ.

"This is how The Game handles things," he told everyone, "he saw Stephanie talking to me in a café and went postal, threw an electric wheelchair through the window and took out my left eye,"

The wrestlers and celebrity guests were horrified but The Game laughed.

"You think that's funny?" Maria said holding her hand up to her mouth like she was gonna throw up.

"Yes he does," Trish replied knowing exactly what The Game felt about Chris Jericho, what Hunter didn't know were the consequences those evil thoughts were going to have on his eternal resting place.

"You can all stand there and stare at Chris Jericho like the freak that he is because half of you don't even remember who he is anyway, if you knew him the way that I do you'd probably rip his eye out too. It's none of your business what I do, what Shawn does or what Big Kev does, just drink your drinks, eat your food and enjoy The Rock's party," Hunter said and the guests and wrestlers looked at each other deciding to adhere to The Game warning; after all, they liked having both their eyes.

"Not so fast everybody," Y2J said getting everyone's attention again.

"Jericho please let it go," Stephanie pleaded but Chris hushed her.

"Settle down princess I have one more important reason why Shawn shouldn't listen to a word that woman who used to be his wife or his so-called best friend says," Jericho explained and Shawn stepped up into his face and snarled at him.

"I don't need your counsel, I have Jesus on my side," Shawn said.

"And you've got the devil on the other, I hear she likes Gucci just as much as Prada," Jericho continued eyeing Rebecca's black Gucci dress, "You see Shawn there's more to your recent drug abuse than you realize,"

Shawn ran his hand over his face in frustration, "What are you talking about Jericho?" he asked impatiently.

"I ran into Raven on the way back from the hospital and he told me something quite interesting. He said that it was Kevin Nash who told him to offer you the drugs and I laughed of course thinking it was a total lie knowing how messed up Raven is personally, but then I asked your cousin Matt what he knew about the whole thing and he gave me this," Jericho handed Shawn a voice recorder which Hunter snatched immediately away from him.

"Enough!" Hunter roared, "You all need to stop meddling in other people's affairs, the drama is over; Rebecca's going to TNA and Shawn's going to retire - end of story!"

"RETIRE? OVER MY DEAD BODY!" came the angry voice of Vince McMahon accompanied by Linda and Shane and Hunter sighed in frustration as the party guests cheered the Chairman of the Board, "SHUT UP!" he yelled at them and they all hushed, "There's no way any of the WWE Superstars are jumping ship, Shawn I want to talk to you about this sex tape,"

"Our sex tape!" Cryme Tyme said simultaneously.

"It's fake everybody, it was Photoshopped to make it look like Shawn wife was banging another man when she was really just performing her wifely duties and pleasuring her husband, by the way Cryme Tyme, nice job on the close up of Becky's you-know-what," Vince told Cryme Tyme and Shawn gasped.

"Why don't you just get the guys outta the truck and tape this conversation so the whole world can know about my sex life?" he said offended and the Chairman of the Board shrugged.

"Hey Shawn relax; you've posed nude in magazines before, its just sex it's nothing to be ashamed of," Vinnie Mac said and Shawn slapped his hand against his forehead as the Chairman of the Board came over to him.

"Vince I need to make my wife happy, she's very angry right now could you please release me so I can go to TNA? I can't leave her with that Big Sexy bastard and Double Jackoff, they'll eat her alive!" Shawn asked him and Rebecca nodded enthusiastically.

"Literally," John Cena said to Mr. Kennedy.

"Shut up John!" Lita snapped angrily and a couple of The Rock's family pictures fell off the wall. Shad and JTG looked at each other thinking that seemed awfully familiar.

Vince shook his head, "No way, you're winning Money In the Bank, after WrestleMania 23, you have your knee surgery and then you can sit out for six months recuperating and spending some quality time with your wife and family. Now I'm sure Becky will agree to that won't you Becks?" Vince asked Shawn's wife who was staring at him darkly.

"No I won't!" she snapped and Vince looked at Shawn questioning his wife's attitude.

"My God Shawn she's just like you - a total pain in the ass," Vince responded and Shawn gave him a sarcastic smile.

"Becky why not? I'll be home, I thought that's what you wanted?" Shawn asked his wife.

"Why? So I can stay home and look after you while you bitch and moan about how much you'd rather be on the road with the boys instead of at home with me?" Rebecca replied.

Shawn gasped, "Becky that was 7 years ago what the Hell is eating you?"

"I am," Kevin Nash said raising his hand and Shawn superkicked him sending him flying over The Rock's couch.

"Shawn stop it!" Rebecca said pulling her husband off of her lover angrily."This is exactly my point; it's been seven years since you've been at home with me, seven years minus the few months you took off when Chey was born, you call that spending time with your wife and kids? I want you to retire from full-time action and come to TNA so you can be with me all the time!"

"Shawn's not going to TNA," Vince told her finally.

"Well I am!" Rebecca told Vince with her hands firmly on her hips.

"Becky please!" Shawn begged her and his WWE colleagues shook their heads at his spineless behavior.

"No Shawn, you either come with me or we spend the rest of our lives apart," Rebecca said.

"So you can be free to act like the irresponsible hussy you've become?" asked Vicky Guerrero coming into the room with Shaul, Sherylin and the Mysterios. Rebecca was taken by surprise; she had forgotten that Vicky was here.

"Hey Vicky, Shaul told me how mean she thought I was being to my husband which is funny because I don't remember using Shawn's death to make money," Rebecca said caustically and Vicky marched over to her calmly.

"I'm right where my husband wants me to be, unlike yours. Every minute I spend in that ring I'm continuing on the Guerrero tradition of lying, cheating and stealing, is breaking your husband's heart a family tradition or is it something you came up with all on your own?" Vicky said and Rebecca covered her heart offended while Stephanie smiled happy that Vicky was as mad at Rebecca as she was.

"How dare you!" Rebecca snarled, "Why am I the bad guy I'm the one who's sacrificed for my family while he goes on the road and ogles fake breasted red heads!"

The bulbs in the huge chandelier hanging from The Rock's high ceiling broke suddenly and everyone scattered to the sides of the room away from the falling shards of glass. The RAW Superstars looked at Lita whose eyes were ablaze and heat was radiating from her body just like it did back at Shawn's house two days ago.

"This is all very familiar," Shad told JTG.

"I don't want to leave man, this party just was getting started!" JTG complained.

"I can't lose no more of my jewels if Lita gets mad that 10Gs worth of rope down the drain," Shad explained holding his chains anxiously.

"Guys chill," Matt Hardy told them.

"You better tell your girl to chill," JTG told him and Matt Hardy frowned.

"She's not my girl, at least not anymore," Matt told him.

"Whoever used to bang Lita put up your hand?" JTG said and Edge slapped Matt Hardy around the head as he put his hand up causing Lita to turn around to both of them.

"Not now," she said with authority and they both gulped and went quiet as the Anointed one turned back around to Rebecca Michaels. "I am not after your husband and he is not after me but if you continue on this malicious path your going down you will face the consequences and if you think I'm ugly now you wait until you've felt my wrath," she warned Shawn's wife who backed up nervously as the red-head's eyes burned a hole in her brash demeanor.

"You don't scare me," she said with a nervous gulp and Lita leaned her head to the side peering into Rebecca's eyes.

"Oh really? Well prove it, dance with your husband for the rest of the night and stay away from Kevin Nash and the rest of the wrestlers at this party," Lita told her and Rebecca stared her down refusing to be intimidated by the woman who she believed had stolen her husband from her. Suddenly Lita cooled off and her eyes softened and she eventually went back to normal and looked over at Trish who shook her head.

"Its no good, she won't believe me," Lita told her.

"I know," Trish said taking Lita by her cooled arm gently, "She'll just have to learn the hard way,"

Trish shuffled Lita over to Edge and stood in front of Jericho, "Why don't you play that tape babe?" she asked her fellow Canadian.

"It would be my pleasure," Jericho said and pressed play and everyone closed in as the tape played listening closely.

_REBECCA: I just don't think he can handle another year with him on the road._

_NASH: Don't worry I've got a plan, I'm gonna ask Raven to offer him some drugs when he comes down to Orlando for the Impact tapings, if he refuses you've nothing to worry about but if he doesn't, you can tell him he's got no choice but to stay home and quit the Fed._

_REBECCA: What do you think Hunter would make of all this?_

_NASH: He doesn't want Shawn around after WrestleMania anyway, if Shawn starts up with the drugs it will make it easier for Hunter to convince Vince to give him time off, indefinitely._

_REBECCA: I don't know Kev, he's gonna win Money In the Bank this year, plus it's the 10 year anniversary of Survivor Series, maybe this can wait until then._

_NASH: Can you wait that long?_

_pause_

_REBECCA: Okay do it, but make sure Raven offers him cocaine, it was his favorite._

_end_

Jericho stopped the tape and everyone turned to look at Rebecca who went white as the tape played on.

"I gotta get outta here," Shawn said heading towards the door but Vince held him back and told him not to run.

"You stand up to your wife like a man!" he told him and Shawn sighed wanting this nightmare to end before he lost his mind.

"You insufferable witch!" Linda McMahon said to Rebecca, "You had Raven offer your husband drugs just so he would stay home with you and the kids?"

"I had to do it, I couldn't take it anymore Linda, you work him way too hard!" Rebecca retaliated.

"Don't yell at her what about this sonofabitch he wanted Shawn gone by WrestleMania!" Vince McMahon said pointing accusingly at Hunter who cowered into his chest.

"One thing at a time Vince. Shawn, do you want to say something?" Linda asked HBK who wasn't showing any outward emotion, "We know you would never have taken those drugs by your own volition,"

"No I would have, after all cocaine's my favorite," Shawn said looking at his wife in disappointment, "Okay Becky you win," he said with a deep sigh, "I'll retire and spend more time at home with you and the kids,"

Rebecca smiled and went to hug him, "Oh Shawn you've made me the happiest woman on the Earth!" she said elated, "Double J will be so happy!"

Shawn pushed her back at the mention of Jeff Jarrett's name, "You're not still thinking of going to TNA are you?" he asked her.

"Why not? Now that you'll be home I'll finally have time to go back on the road, give-and-take Shawn that's all marriage is, give and take; now it's my time to shine, you're looking at a whole new woman - Whisper "Queen of the Mountain!" Finally I get to be the one everybody wants to be!"

Shawn felt hot rage burning up in his chest and Edge escorted him out of the room and outside to the pool while Stephanie followed them with Jericho, ATM and the RAW Superstars, leaving Hunter wondering if he should go out there too.

"Where the Hell are you going Helmsley?" Vince said snatching his son-in-law's arm, "How could you go tell Kevin Nash you wanted Shawn out of the picture after Mania? I always knew you were a no good bastard but this is low even for you! And you call yourself a friend?"

"Yes, I'm the kind of friend's that knows Shawn better than he knows himself," Hunter said snatching back his arm about to go over to the pool when Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and XPac pulled him into a hug. The Kliq was missing one member and they were all responsible for it.

"With friends like you, who needs enemies," Austin Starr said looking down at all four of them.

"Yeah," Vince added walking out to the pool with him.

"Didn't you disown your own daughter?" Hunter asked Vince who shot down the comment.

"I'm not on trial here," the Chairman responded and The Rock took a seat waiting for the debate on what to do about Shawn to begin.

"You know that tracksuit is brand new," The Rock said.

"Why? It's a tracksuit you should have worn it at least once by now," Hunter said.

"Can we talk about Shawn please?" Sting said, "Kevin why did you sleep with Rebecca?"

"Because I'm in love with her," Kevin answered, "And according to Trish, we're going to be eternal soul mates anyway, I say this way everybody's happy,"

"Shawn's miserable!" Sting argued.

"He's always miserable, why do you think he was addicted to painkillers for so long, the man lives in perpetual depression," Kevin replied, "The only difference between now and when he was rolling with us in the Fed is that he believes in God, well now He'll have more time to go to church with the rest of the stay-at-home Christian fathers of North America,"

Kevin laughed along with Scotty, "Its true Stinger Shawn can't make Becky happy obviously, the woman wants to have an affair so bad she's grinding up on other wrestlers in front of her husband,"

"How does that make it right? Kevin you're one of his oldest friends, what satisfaction could you possibly get from having Becky in TNA while Shawn's at home with the kids?" Sting asked Big Daddy Cool.

"Use your imagination," Kevin Nash replied with a laugh, "I don't know what you're getting all bent out of shape for Stinger; with Shawn retired the Fed would lose a substantial amount of its drawing power, TNA will reap the benefits of the WWE's demise,"

"I don't want Shawn to suffer so we can get a bigger share of the wrestling world market; he's turned his life around your betrayal is gonna cause him to backslide!" Sting said defiantly and then he turned to Hunter, "And you, what do you make of all this? You want Shawn to retire so you can steal the spotlight on RAW like you did for the last ten years don't you?"

Hunter shrugged, "If it happens it happens, Shawn was gonna be gone this summer anyway, this way he gets to work on his marriage which is much more important that his crazy ass fans,"

"What Shawn give up being the Main Event, the Icon to stay home with his family? Yeah right," Scott Hall said sipping his beer.

"Exactly, he gets so caught up being the Main Event, the Icon that he loses all sense of priorities. What's more important than family? Not the WWE that's for sure," Hunter said and Sting shook his head.

"You're married to Stephanie McMahon, what the Hell do you know about juggling work and family - your work is your family! So I guess this whole thing about invading TNA was just a ruse to get Shawn out of the business that he loves huh? You know I thought Vince was a manipulative son-of-a-gun but compared to you, Vince is a boy scout,"

Sting walked away from the Kliq and went outside leaving Hunter with an indifferent unfazed look on his face; he knew Shawn better than almost everybody out there, retiring after WrestleMania was the best thing HBK could do for his wife, for his family for his soul. Very few people were able to prove The Game wrong and the Stinger was no different but The Rock got up and motioned in the Stinger's direction, and then he turned to face Hunter with a final thought.

"You know I haven't been in the ring in a while but I can see from this conversation that you haven't changed one bit. Shawn and I have never been close but since you want him to retire so badly, I think I'll give him that thing he's always wanted, sort of as a farewell present," he said with a smile and The Game glared at The People's Champ angrily and ripped the sleeve of his brand new tracksuit with a wicked smile.

Outside by the pool:

"Shawn you can't retire the locker room would be so boring without you and Hunter getting under Vince McMahon's skin," Shelton said.

"Yeah, who's gonna spray paint his private jet?" Cena said.

"Or send him anonymous cocks?" Mickie James added.

"Or throw feces down on him from the lighting rig?" Nitro added.

"That was a good one!" Shelton said and slapped Nitro's hand.

"Those were all Hunter's ideas," Shawn replied, "I didn't want none of that nonsense, all I wanna do is wrestle and I can't even do that right because my knee's all banged up,"

"But you don't have to retire!" Shad said.

"Yeah, its like Vinnie Mac said, you win Money In the Bank, go get your knee surgery, stay home with that so-called wife of yours . . ."

"And those cute ass kids!" Krysal added and JTG cleared his throat.

"Excuse me bitch I was talking?" he snapped angrily.

"Oh no you did not just call me a bitch!" Krystal said angrily.

"I think he did and I know he's gonna apologize, aren't you Jay?" Shawn said looking at JTG disapprovingly and JTG responded by turning away from him, "Jay?" Shawn said, "Apologize to Ms. Marshall now before I take those chains you love so much and show you why lynching was banned,"

"Ooooh!" the African-American wrestlers said altogether as JTG continued to pout. Shawn spun him around and got up in his face.

"Apologize!" he roared and JTG backed up.

"Whoa, calm down Shawn I was just playing, Krystal's my girl I wouldn't disrespect her like that, damn! I don't know whose worse you or Lita, ya'll so self-righteous no-one can't say nuthin around you too without getting chewed out,"

"Oh Shawn you're my hero!" Krystal said kissing HBK on the cheek, "Forget Becky that woman is a total bi . . . um, bad girl, she don't appreciate you, why don't you get with me?"

"What?" Shawn said surprised.

"Na-uh Krystal you're a little um, dark for Shawn's taste, he's needs to know why gentlemen prefer blonds," Torrie Wilson said grabbing HBK's arm while Krystal fumed angrily.

"Torrie we've never spoken outside of work, in fact, we've never spoken," Shawn said confused.

"Well you were married then," Torrie said and Shawn took his arm back gently, "Why don't you start a whole new life with me?"

"Torrie, I'm still married and I have every intention of staying married and even if I wasn't married I couldn't go out with a woman who appeared naked in Playboy - twice, I have my reputation to think of, sorry,"

"Burn!" Krystal said, "Not so hot now are you Wilson, ha-ha!"

"You would rather stay home with the kids and read the Bible then party with hot looking chicks like Torrie Wilson and Krystal Marshall? Shawn what Planet are you from? Planet Deaf, Dumb and Stupid?" MVP asked him incredulously.

"No but Randy Orton used to rent a place there," Nitro said and Carlito snickered.

"Look I know you guys are trying to help but I don't believe in giving up on anything. I love my wife and together we're gonna make this marriage work, even if it means giving up the career I've given my whole adult life to," Shawn said and turned to Vince reluctantly, "Vince after WrestleMania I want there to be a Number One Contender's Tournament for a shot at the WWE Championship and whoever wins can have the Money In the Bank briefcase after I win it at WrestleMania,"

"Shawn you can't leave!" Vince pleaded shocking the other wrestlers who have never seen this side of the big bad boss, "They need you, the fans need you and most of all, I need you,"

Shawn lowered his head and patted Vince on the shoulder, "I told you, be careful what you wish for Vince, you just might get it. The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels is done with wrestling and with you,"

Shawn approached his wife who was standing at the door waiting for him to give her his decision. She knew that he had made the right one.

"What do you say we call the Charlotte and tell her we'll come and pick up the kids?" he said.

"Actually Hunter said she's already on her way here, we might aswell stay in Florida until Saturday," Rebecca answered.

Shawn nodded, "Okay I gotta be here for the RAW show on Friday anyway,"

"Yeah plus it will give me some time to go over the Impact tapings next week with Jeff and Kevin; we gotta decide what we're gonna do about that tape of me and Kev . . . you know," she said and Shawn clenched his jaw angrily.

"Yeah I do know," he said annoyed and Rebecca kissed his lips gently.

"Oh Shawn, relax you'll live longer," she said and walked over to Big Daddy Cool and sat next to him like nothing had ever happened. Edge came over to him and put his arm around him.

"Give and take Shawn, marriage is all about compromise; you hurt Becky now she's going to hurt you it's all part of God's plan that way, once you get to Heaven you'll finally know what its like to be with a real woman,"

Shawn shot Edge a dark look as he smirked at him and went back over to Lita who was looking back at him concerned for his well-being.

"Are you alright honey?" she asked him letting go of Edge and coming over to him.

"Edge is right, marriage is about compromise, sometimes we have to take the bitter to enjoy the sweet, didn't you say that upstairs?" he asked her.

"Shawn that's not an ideal marriage, its a divorce waiting to happen," Lita said and Shawn squeezed her shoulders gently.

"Lita you've got a lot to learn about being married," he said and kissed her on head.

"Shawn don't!" Lita cried out startling Shawn.

"What?" he asked then he saw the fright in Lita's eyes and turned to look in the direction of her concern and saw his wife scowling at them.

"Shit!" Shawn said and rushed over to calm his now highly aggravated wife down while Hunter shook his head like Shawn was the stupidest man on the planet while Nash and Hall just laughed at his hopeless attempt to calm Becky down. XPac shook his head too, only it was with pity. Jeff Hardy watched along with his brother and they both shook their heads in contempt.

"This ain't right Jeff," Matt said as Becky cussed out her husband who was bending like a melted spoon in front of all his peers and friends without any regard for what they thought or said: he wanted his wife back and everyone else could go to Hell.

"I know, we gotta do something," Jeff said looking at Edge who was pulling Lita back from helping Rebecca and Shawn. The two brothers looked at each other and nodded; they knew exactly what had to be done.


	4. Mean Girls and Bad Boys

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war, but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Three - Mean Girls and Bad Boys

It was 7am and the party was in its second quarter; the beer was still pouring and the food was still a-coming but there was a bevy of concerned wrestlers listening in on an argument between the Kliq that had been going on all night and surprisingly an ambulance hadn't been called yet.

"I need a drink, anyone else need one?" Maria asked rubbing her eyes tired from all the shouting. Cena put up his hand and Trish slapped him around the head.

"Ow!" he cried, "What did you do that for?"

"Go get her a drink John, be a gentleman and let the lady rest for awhile," Trish said disapprovingly.

"What? She doesn't mind do you Maria?" Cena asked his lover who shrugged one shoulder and Miss. Taylor raised her left eyebrow suspiciously as the Diva walked off to get herself and John a drink while everyone sat on the floor listening to the Kliq tear into each other.

"Hey Maria wait up," Miss. Taylor said following her over to where the drinks were laid out, "You okay?"

"No, I'm really tired of John Cena, he treats me like a bimbo," Maria said angrily.

Miss. Taylor nodded her head, "Yeah I noticed, have you tried talking to him about it?"

Maria was about to answer when she clutched her stomach dropping the drink she had just picked up. Miss. Taylor leaned over to her concerned, "Gees are you okay?" she asked and Maria winced.

"I just got this pain in my stomach," she replied.

"Hey that better not be cranberry and vodka on The Rock's new rug Maria!" Rocky said from the pool.

"Put a cork in it Jabroni!" Trish replied.

"John!" Miss. Taylor called out but Cena was sharing a joke with Mr. Kennedy and didn't see his girlfriend bent over in pain, Miss. Taylor shook her head in disapproval while Brandon Montenegro walked over, "Hey Brandon can you take Maria upstairs?" Miss. Taylor asked Cassidy's older brother who came over as soon as he saw the state Maria was in.

"Sure, come on pretty lady," Brandon said to Maria sweetly and she smiled in appreciation of his kindness and wished that Cena could be like that towards her. Upstairs Brandon took Maria to The Rock's bedroom and laid her down while Miss. Taylor made her some honey and lemon tea in the The People's Kitchen.

"There you go, can I get you anything?" Brandon asked her.

"No, I'll be okay I just need to lay down for awhile," she said and Brandon left her alone. When he left she took her cell phone out from under her halter top and dialed CM Punk's number.

"Hey Maria,"

The young Diva sighed at the gritty voice wishing she could feel the lips of the man behind it on her own.

"Hey Phil," she said nervously and CM Punk smiled on the other end of the phone knowing from the sound of his ex-girlfriend's voice that it was time to for him and his old friends to make an unexpected appearance at The People's house party.

Meanwhile back downstairs Trish Stratus was chewing Cena out over his mistreatment of Maria.

"You don't know how to treat a woman John," Trish said.

"Sure I do, the sun's coming up its impairing your vision," Cena said humorously and Trish rolled her eyes and wondered if she should tell him herself or wait for Randy Orton to come back.

"That's it Cena, let her do all the work, after all whose the Champ you or her?" Mr. Kennedy said.

"Exactly," Cena said and slapped Mr. Kennedy's hand, Trish smirked and waited for Randy to return with the picture that was gonna make Cena treat Maria a little differently in the near future.

"You better keep your hands off my wife Nash!" Shawn told Big Kev for the hundredth time.

"You mean from now on or just while you're at having tea parties with Cheyenne and her dolls?" Kevin replied sarcastically.

Shawn was seething and he finally couldn't restrain himself anymore and went for Kevin Nash's throat.

"Stop it!" Lita cried and tried to intervene but Edge held her back only not for long as the Hardyz snuck up behind him and pulled his long hair.

"Ow!" he cried releasing Lita allowing her to get in between Nash and Michaels.

"That's enough!" she said.

"URGH!" Kevin said noticing Lita's head up close; it was worse than when she was at a distance.

"Please don't fight, I'm getting married in 2 weeks and you guys are killing my commitment gene, please try to be civil," she asked them both.

"I will if he stays away from Becky," Shawn said.

"Shawn you idiot, how can she stay away from me if we're going to be working together?" Kevin replied and Shawn went quiet. Big Kev was right; as much as he wanted to punch his face in for stealing his wife it wasn't just his fault so he turned once again to his wife and asked her to reconsider her decision to work for TNA and the soon-to-be-reformed Kings of Wrestling.

"Becky please, I'm begging you one more time to not work with Jeff and Kevin, I don't trust them around you," he said but Rebecca didn't care, she wasn't going to change her mind.

"What is your problem man?" Cena asked her, "The whole time he coulda had Lita he never put a hand on her and the one time he stares just a little too long at those fantastic breasts that gives you the right to jump in bed with his best friend?"

"Why thank you John, why don't you compliment another one of my body parts while we're trying to save Shawn's marriage?" Lita told the Champ sarcastically.

"Okay, nice ass," Cena added and Cryme Tyme laughed along with him.

"No John Cena, it says in the book of Matthew that if a man looks at a woman with lust in his heart he's already committed adultery," Becky replied and ATM looked at her in disbelief.

"Adultery? You're the one who cheated on her husband and you've yet to apologize for it!" Melina said confused.

"I didn't start cheating on him until I found out about Lita!" Becky snapped back.

"Everyone looks at Lita's breasts; do you think she dresses like a whore for fun? It's her job its part of her Rated R image!" Melina explained and Lita frowned at her angelic sister in Christ who bit her lip apologetically, "Sorry mi hermana, I didn't mean to call you a whore,"

"No its alright Mel you're right," Lita said.

"She admits it she's a ho, Hacksaw Jim Duggan was right!" Cena said.

"That's not what I meant you hypocrite," Lita retorted, "You walk around with your shirt off showing your nipples to the world 24/7 while stealing CM Punk's girlfriend right from under his nose and you call me a slut?"

All the ladies laughed and Cryme Tyme slapped Lita's hand but she waved them away set on making her big announcement, "The whole Rated R thing is the reason I'm leaving the WWE," Lita said and everyone lost their breath including Vince who had taken off his jacket and sat down on the carpet with the rest of the WWE roster while Linda leaned a cold class of lemonade next to his head so he didn't get a migraine over losing HBK after WrestleMania.

"What!" he roared getting up to his feet, "You're leaving too? Why?"

"Because I'm getting married Mr. McMahon and I want to do something different with my life," Lita explained.

"You mean you don't like being called a slut?" Vince asked confused.

"No of course not, but it's not just that, I want to be a good wife and I don't think I can with the character I'm playing on RAW," Lita said.

"Okay, I'll change your character how about that?" Vince said persuasively but Lita's mind was made up ages ago.

"I'm sorry Vince, I'm done, in 2 weeks you'll no longer know me as Lita but as Mrs. Amy Copeland," she said fondly, "Has a nice ring to it doesn't it?"

Linda McMahon smiled at the infamous usually red-haired diva, "I like the sound of that Amy and I wish you all the best in your new life," she said honestly and Stephanie agreed.

"I think its wonderful," she said, "Your finally taking that big step, I am so proud of you," she said and gave Lita a big hug.

"I think it bites," Matt Hardy said angrily.

Lita turned around to face V.1, "Matt let's just have quiet okay? You got your brother back what more do you want?"

"Why do you have to marry Edge, he sucks?" Matt Hardy argued.

"He does not!" Lita retaliated, "Why are you acting like a jealous boyfriend all of a sudden we broke up three years ago!"

"I know but that doesn't mean I can't wish you all the best after you leave the Fed and marrying Edge is like going from the Ritz Carlton to the YMCA," Matt Hardy said and the WWE Superstars started to laugh much to the chagrin of Edge.

"Why you snotty little punk!" he snapped and went for Matt when London and Kendrick got in between them.

"Knock it off!" Ashley said slapping Matt on the cheek and she turned to Lita.

"Just ignore him, he's usually a lot more fun on Smackdown, I'd just like to say I wish you all the best too Lita, you deserve it, without you I never would have gotten this gig, rock on Lita!" Ashley said and Lita rolled her eyes and turned back around to the feuding former friends and heard a snickering laughter coming from Rebecca while Ashley wondered if she said something wrong. Trish decided to fill in the blanks.

"Lita never did Playboy and neither did I, we used our in ring talent and natural charisma to get over, not our naked bodies," she explained.

"And a plastic surgeon," Cena added.

"A damn good plastic surgeon," MVP said lasciviously.

"Okay granted my boobs are fake but my 7 Women's Championships are as real as the hair on my head - sorry honey," she said to Lita who felt her spiky head sadly missing her long red locks, "You and your whole bad girl gimmick represents everything Lita and I fought against back in the Attitude Era, sure we were sex symbols but we got what everyone needs to last in this business - respect, and we got it without taking our clothes off," Trish told the 2005 Diva Search winner.

"Nice boobs though," Lita added with a smile and Ashley scratched her head wondering what s the big deal was about posing naked for a magazine? "I'm glad you said that Trish because I think it was after that Live Sex celebration that I lost what I wanted more than anything and that was the respect of the male locker room,"

"But it's just sex what's the big deal?" Ashley asked, "We're all adults here, we know what naked women look like is it wrong to cash in on that?"

"YES!" ATM replied at once and Ashley jumped back.

"NO!" the majority of the male wrestlers replied and ATM jumped back.

"Well I'm gonna be in Playboy and I'll be sexy and successful and make my mark just like Chyna and Sable!" Ashley shouted defensively while London and Kendrick looked at each other doubtfully.

"Well you better appear in Playboy or else, YOU'RE FIRED!" Vince McMahon told her and Ashley gulped nervously.

"She's doomed," London and Kendrick said.

"What was that?" Ashley asked them and they smiled and said she looked beautiful.

"Something funny Rebecca?" Lita asked feeling her cheeks getting hot all of sudden and Cryme Tyme instantly picked up on an increase in temperature.

"Uh-oh," they said simultaneously and ran off into the kitchen to put their chains in a bucket of ice.

"Nothing Lita it's just the idea of you being married since you have absolutely no idea how to keep a man," Rebecca said wiping a tear of laughter away from her eye.

"I think she's doing just fine," Edge said amorously caressing his girlfriend's waist and Lita hushed him gently.

"Rebecca stop being so petty, its not you, all this pretending to be a slut to embarrass Shawn and hurt his feelings is just your botched attempt at trying to be me and it's sad, no more than sad it's pathetic! I never intended to hurt any man I loved unlike you, what you're doing is just WRONG!"

Lita spat the last word out and Rebecca along with everybody else shook from the sudden volume increase in her voice.

"You're a beautiful woman with two beautiful kids and a beau - good-looking husband," Lita said deciding not to call Shawn beautiful even though she thought he was one of the most beautiful men she had ever met in her entire life, "And yet here you are sleeping around with his oldest friend all because you want to be what you think Shawn wants - a . . . Jericho what is it you used to call Stephanie?" Lita asked the King of the World.

"A filthy, dirty, disgusting, bottom-feeding, trash bag-ho," Jericho replied.

"Exactly!" Lita said and everyone applauded Jericho who bowed at the coining of the famous line. Hunter didn't think it was so funny and decided to let the King of the World know just how unfunny he thought it was.

"I never thought that line was so funny unlike your fancy purple eye patch that's hilarious," Hunter said mockingly causing Jericho to scowl, "And while we're on the subject of hos, I don't where you get off calling Rebecca one Lita,"

Melina spat up a little of her bottled water as a result of Hunter's words to the Anointed one and leaned over to Trish anxiously.

"Does he have a death wish?" she asked The Truth.

"No, he just has an ego the size of Texas, but just like Rebecca he's gonna learn the hard way Amy Dumas ain't no lady to mess with,"

"Hey that's my line!" Victoria said irritated and Trish told her to be quiet and watch as Lita was about to show The Rock's party guests what she was hiding under that pretty face. She was leaving the WWE anyway, she had nothing to lose.

"What's your problem Hunter?" Lita asked the Cerebral Assassin, "You've been real cold ever since you found out Shawn's my eternal soul mate, what's the matter afraid that he'll have what you always wanted? Me? Only it will be forever instead of your usual 15 minutes."

"Oooh!" the wrestlers and celebrities said in response to Lita's comeback.

"No I don't like leftovers, I like my women like my subway sandwiches - fresh," Hunter replied.

"Oh man you got served!" Cena said and Cryme Tyme looked at him like he was the dumbest man on the planet; no one said "served" anymore.

"That's not cool," Carlito said to Cena and Cryme Tyme agreed and Cena made a mental note to update his street vocabulary.

"I've only been with three men my entire life unlike you who's been with more women than I've got thongs," Lita replied and the Divas started to clap.

"That was a good one Lita!" Ashley applauded her.

"Way-to-tell of The Game!" Krystal Marshall added.

"Yeah put him down like the no good dog that he is! You go girl!" Vince McMahon said pumping his fist in the air causing both Lita and Triple H to query his actions, "What? Because I'm 60 I can't get riled up, ya'll better recognize!" The Chairman of the Board told his employees and they all scratched their head wondering if they were allowed to ignore their boss like they would any other old man trying to be cool at a party full of much, much, much younger people.

"Anyway," Hunter continued, "I just don't think you should be talking down to Rebecca when you're not such a saint yourself,"

"On the contrary Hunter I am a saint," Lita retorted and The Game rolled his eyes.

"No you're not," he said.

"Yes I am and your failure to recognize that is gonna put you on the wrong side of a spiritual bitch slap!" Lita warned him and HBK frowned at her.

"What does that mean?" he asked her and Lita looked at Trish who nodded that it was okay to say what she had to say.

"Hunter, I know what's best for Shawn, I know more than you, his wife, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman or even Vincent K. McMahon will ever know because I am under direct order from God to make sure he gets into Heaven and to do that I have to protect his ass, and you have spent the last six months trying to keep us apart thinking all I wanted to do was sleep with him and now Rebecca feels the same way. Then you finally asked him to do the unthinkable and give up his faith just so he and Becky could stay together and while I understand your concern her feelings for him are a drop in the ocean compared to my feelings for him which shall exist beyond this life and into eternity," Lita told Hunter who just stared blankly at her waiting for her to finish so he could say his piece, "I am Anointed Amy make no mistake about it and while I may have Edge here on Earth I have to make sure HBK fulfills his Divine Purpose and if that means I have to kick ass to do it, I will not hesitate to put this black leather boot where the sun don't shine,"

The other Superstars opened their mouths in amazement at the bravery Lita was displaying in front of The Game, even the men wouldn't dare talk to Hunter like that and Vince was green with envy.

"Stop trying to be the King of Kings Hunter, you're a heathen, just another unbeliever with an attitude problem and you're on a first class flight straight to Hell if you don't bow down to me, Anointed Amy, servant of the real King of Kings Jesus Christ and repent of your sins right now!" Lita told him and Hunter laughed while everyone else gasped at Lita's Divine declaration. Shawn was really disturbed by Lita's words and Rebecca certainly noticed the concern in his eyes and it confirmed what she already knew: Shawn soul didn't belong to her and she only had his body for another 30 or so years tops. She gulped down her glass of scotch and poured herself another one and eventually she put the whiskey bottle to her lips and finished the whole thing not knowing that Miss. Taylor was watching along with Brandon Montenegro who had just come down from checking on Maria who was still on the phone with CM Punk.

"You want me to bow down to you?" Hunter exclaimed incredulously, "I'm not bowing to you you're nothing but a . . . Jericho what was that line again?" he asked Y2J who like everyone else was feeling mighty hot all of a sudden. Hunter took off The Rock's tracksuit jacket, "Man is it hot in here, Rocky turn on the A/C will ya?" he asked The People's Host who noticed Lita's fists clenching and the floor beneath her feet starting to crack.

"I don't think that's gonna help Hunter," The Rock replied nervously and Hunter frowned at him.

"What's the matter with you Brahma Bull?" he asked and Lita clasped her hands around his neck pulling The Game down to her knees with a mighty strength she never had.

"You will bow or die!" Lita told him her voice bellowing throughout the house scaring the guests and her co-workers alike, her eyes were on fire burning into the mind of the Cerebral Assassin. Hunter felt his neck burning beneath her hot hands as Lita dragged his huge body over to the pool like he was a beanie baby. "You spit in the face of the Almighty Father and I will take back the breath He gave you, understand?" Lita told him and Hunter smiled.

"Tell God I said bring it on bitch," he snarled and Lita gave him her classic Mona Lita smile before throwing The Game in the water which iced over before The Game could go plummeting into it. Lita cooled off and looked back inside the house at the bassinette by Stephanie's feet.

"Hurricane Aurora," she said and her body started to freeze, "Nice try baby girl but you don't know who you're messing with," Lita clenched her fists and the ice that Aurora had sent to protect her father melted causing Hunter to fall into the water. Lita turned to the pool and warmed it up, then she warmed it up some more, then it was boiling and Hunter jumped out of it in a panic.

"Oh my God!" Mickie James said crawling away from the Anointed one's wrath and everyone came out to see what was going on.

"Lita stop!" Stephanie said as Anointed Amy pushed her husband back into the water and after he climbed out she pushed him back into the boiling pool again.

"He can get out can't you King of Kings? Come on tough guy walk on water since you're so bad, come on!" Lita taunted The Game and he tried to get back out again but he made the mistake of trying to pull her in with him and Lita just laughed and pulled him up by his hair, "Your daughter can't help you, little Aurora Rose can't save you from the wrath of the Almighty Father, take it from me you don't want to piss God off, her powers are a blessing from Him not you. Shawn's eternal soul has nothing to do with you! His affairs are my affairs now, you either help me or I will make your life a living Hell!" she warned him and threw him into the water and made the water so hot it sizzled. The Game screamed and Stephanie jumped in after him but Lita jumped across the pool, caught her in mid air and put her safely by the pool side where everyone was watching in awe of Lita's powers.

"Relax Stephanie he's alright, I was just giving him a warning, its what we wrestlers call a love tap," Lita told her humorously and Hunter crawled out of the now evaporated water sizzling with rage looking like he was going to kill Lita but after that he decided that now wouldn't be the best time. He headed towards her but HBK stood between them and Stephanie pulled her husband back.

"Come on Hunter let's go and get you dried off," she said concerned that he didn't catch a cold, The Game looked between Shawn and Lita and gave the Anointed one a confident smirk.

"I've known you for a long time Lita, I've watched you snake your way into the WWE, wrapping that tattoed arm around the waist of whichever man you desired whenever you desired them. You may talk holy but you're nothing more than a filthy, disgusting, bottom-feeding, no good, trash bag-ho and if you think your gonna be part of Shawn's life in any way, shape or form outside the WWE, you better say your prayers now because your gonna need God after the Hell I put you through!" Hunter told her and Stephanie took him inside quickly lest Lita set him on fire.

Lita didn't say or do anything she just watched him go, she was completely cooled off and chilled out like nothing had even happened. The party guests were in shock but Shawn wasn't, he'd seen it all before but unlike them, he believed she was Anointed Amy and not some crazy moonsaulting Diva with phenomenal strength. Trish shook her head as The Game continued to berate her sister in Christ all the way up to the People's shower; he hadn't even realized that was just a taste of what Lita was capable of.

"Lita, my goodness what was that?" Linda McMahon asked the fiery ex-redhead, "I had no idea you had such power!"

"That's nothing you should see me when I'm really mad," Lita said casually as the Superstars talked about what they had just seen like it was a supernatural wonder and it was.

"That sounds like a great idea!" Vince McMahon said and The Rock turned to him questioningly, while Edge pulled Shawn away from Lita, "How would you like to go out with a bang?"

Lita rolled her eyes at Vince, "Oh gees not another live sex celebration," she complained while Edge told Shawn to go find Rebecca who had mysteriously disappeared.

"Even better, how would you like to kick my son-in-law's ass on Friday Night RAW right here in Miami live before officially announcing your retirement on RAW's usual timeslot on Monday night?" Vince asked her excitedly but Lita hesitated.

"I can't do that Vince, my Righteous Indignation is controlled by God, I can't get mad at someone unless they've offended me, if Hunter doesn't say anything blasphemous then I have no right to hurt him,"

Trish came over to Vince, "Book the match, Hunter will offend her several times between now and Friday,"

"Are you sure I mean you wouldn't lie to me would you Trish?" Vince asked the Canadian Diva.

"Lita is going out with a bang, trust me I wouldn't lie to you Vince, even if I wanted to," Trish said and the mogul smiled thinking Lita could do what he dreamed of every single day: destroying Triple H and she had the Divine Right to do it.

"So then it's decided, this Friday night in Smackdown's timeslot on the CW Network at 8pm central, it will be Lita vs. The Game in a No Holds Barred Intergender Match and the loser will have to leave the WWE forever!"

"What a way to go out," The Rock said liking the stipulation.

"Yeah," Lita said thinking about it, "Who are you gonna be facing this Friday night Rocky?"

"Actually I will be making a huge announcement and it concerns someone you're very close to," The Rock replied and Lita looked over at Edge who was still arguing with HBK over Rebecca's disappearance. She leaned over to The Rock and asked him quietly if he was going to face Edge at WrestleMania 23, "No, I'm going to challenge Shawn Michaels to an Ironman match at WrestleMania 23," The Rock replied.

"That's huge! Rocky gonna be at WrestleMania oh why do I have to retire this year!" the now bald red-head said excitedly and ran over to the two men causing them stop arguing and wonder what The Rock had told Lita to get her so excited.

"Edge you are not going to believe this!" she said to her fiancé.

"What?" Edge said wondering if what The Rock told her had anything to do with him, "Does The Rock want to face me at WrestleMania?" he asked expectantly and suddenly Lita's news didn't seem so cool.

"No he has a big announcement to make on Friday regarding WrestleMania," she said instead of blurting out what he just told her and Shawn gasped.

"What do you think it'll be?" he asked Lita excitedly.

"Whatever it is its going to make one of you very, very happy," she said watching as both their eyes lit up.

"Man I can't wait!" Shawn said suddenly forgetting all his troubles at the possibility of facing The Rock at WrestleMania then suddenly he was on the floor clutching his knee in agony.

"Jesus Christ!" Vince McMahon shouted as Rebecca took her husband's knee out from underneath him with one of Jeff Jarrett's guitars.

"Take that you rotten junkie, ha-ha!" Jeff Jarrett laughed coming over to Shawn's broken body from behind her, "Nice shot, you got a place in TNA's heart Rebecca, call me later okay hun?" he said to Rebecca placing a kiss on her cheek before getting the Hell out of the People's House and into Alex Shelley's pick up truck and burning down the road back to the hotel in Miami Beach.

"Rebecca!" Melina cried running over to HBK, "What have you done, is it not hot enough in here for you do you want to go to Hell?" she asked the vengeful wife who staggered back into the arms of Kevin Nash who was equally proud of her guitar shot to Shawn's already damaged knee.

"I'm already in Hell Melina and I'm taking Shawn with me," she replied in her drunken stupor not even looking down at the man whose knee she had shattered but straight into the eyes of the woman she believed had stolen him from her: Lita. Melina turned Shawn onto his back and put her hands on his left knee and closed her eyes about to heal him, but the broken piece of glass Rebecca was holding against her neck stopped her from going through with it . . .


	5. Child's Play

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Four - Child's Play

"Rebecca put the whiskey bottle down," Nitro said coming over to her slowly, "If you cut her I will kill you," he warned the crazed wife.

"If she heals him he goes back to work full-time and that can't happen, I would rather die then spend another day as the so-called housewife of the incomparable HBK so if you want to kill me now is the time to do it," Rebecca replied she may have been drunk but she meant every word.

Nitro balked at Rebecca she was obsessed with destroying her husband's career just so she could have one of her own when all she was bound to become was eye candy for Kevin Nash and a pariah in the wrestling world. She didn't even care that she was risking her own life by threatening Melina, one of God's angelic servants.

"Trish, Lita, what do I do?" Melina asked them her hands hovering over Shawn's wounded knee.

"You have to ask Shawn what he wants to do," Trish replied and Lita went to comfort him but Rebecca pulled the shard of glass closer to Melina's neck as she moved closer and Lita scowled at her.

"If you draw her blood you die, I will not defend you," Lita warned her.

"Then Chey and Cam won't have a mother, is that what you want to kill the mother of two innocent children, that doesn't sound too holy to me Amy," Rebecca replied.

"Shawn, tell me what you want me to do," Melina said afraid to swallow lest the glass scratch her exposed neck; it wasn't that it would hurt it was that if Rebecca cut her she would become a child of satan and ATM might have to destroy her. HBK knew if he was going to wrestle The Rock at WrestleMania he would have to be 100 percent, after his wife's attack there was no way he could go in there with The People's Champ and pull out another Showstopping match. So he decided he would compete in Money in the Bank and go into rehab as planned over the summer, then at least then his wife would be happy and that's all he wanted was to make Rebecca happy and she deserved it after everything he'd put her through. He winced as he began to speak.

"It's okay Melina, you don't have to heal me I'll be fine," he told Melina and she reluctantly withdrew her hands from his damaged knee and Rebecca removed the broken piece of glass from around her neck.

Vince McMahon couldn't believe what he had just seen in fact nobody could and were equally surprised by Kevin Nash and Scott Hall who just stood around Shawn like he was a wounded animal neither of them offering to help him up. Nitro, Shelton and Carlito lifted him to his feet but he fell back down in pain.

"¡Usted mujer malvada!You evil woman!" Vicky Guerrero spat at Rebecca, "Melina if you can heal the man do it, don't let that witch ruin his life!"

"Vicky I can't if he doesn't want me to," Melina said.

"Shawn, look at me," Vicky said coming down to the broken body of HBK and lifting his chin to her face, "When Eddy told me you were a Christian I didn't believe him but I saw your match against Triple H and Chris Benoit at WrestleMania 20 I knew you had a gift from God. If you turn away from what God has given you, you're telling the WWE, no you're telling the wrestlers all over the world that it doesn't matter if you ever wrestle again and that's like telling them to give up on their dreams to be just like you. Everybody wants to be like you Shawn; Eddy loved you, Rey loves you and Chris loves you we're all here for you because you mean so much to this company, that woman you call your wife doesn't understand that so don't waste your time trying to be the loyal and faithful husband everybody in this room knows you are, just do what you want to do and wrestle until your heart stops. That's what Eddy did and he wouldn't have wanted it any other way, so please Shawn, don't go home yet, stay with us, we need you!"

Chris Benoit nodded and Shaul and Sherylin wiped the tears away from their eyes at the state HBK, a man they called Uncle Shawn was in because of his deranged wife.

"What do you want me to do Shawn?" Melina asked him and he put his face down and sobbed.

"I want Becky to forgive me," he said sadly and tried to get up again but he fell back down again.

"That's it, stay down like the sad excuse for a man that you are," Rebecca crawled over to him bitterly and Shawn turned away from her as she laughed at him, her laughter was suddenly broken by a punch to the mouth administered by LC, The Game's lil' assassin-in-training who had just arrived at The Rock's house with her sister, Carla, Cameron and Cheyenne while Dan flew to New York for a business conference.

"There now we don't have to hear her nasty voice anymore," LC said shaking her hand out as Cameron looked down at his wounded father and Cheyenne ran over to her mother with some ice for her swollen mouth.

"Daddy?" Cameron asked nervously on seeing his father sitting twisted and disheveled on the hard wood floor. Shawn looked over at his son's worried face and suddenly he got an urge to get up, he couldn't bear to see his son's face looking so concerned like he was some helpless cripple, he'd seen it before and he promised God that he would never let his son see him like that again. He tried to get up and he did.

"Shawn do you want me to heal you? For the love of God Shawn say yes!" Melina begged him.

"Melina!" Trish admonished her, "You can't use your own judgment on those you heal!"

"I'm sorry but I really wanna see HBK vs. The Rock at WrestleMania 23!" Melina said getting excited and Cameron smiled at his father.

"The Rock? You're gonna face The Rock at WrestleMania?" Cameron asked his father excitedly. Shawn's heart was warmed by the joy on his first born child's face at the idea of him going up against one of his favorite wrestlers of all time.

"Is that something you'd like to see lil' man?" he asked his son and Rebecca tore away from Cheyenne and came over to her son leaving her daughter confused and frightened.

"Baby listen to me, your father's very hurt if he goes into that ring with his knee the way it is he might never walk again," she told him and Cameron thought about it.

"I know how bad Daddy's knee is, but Lita you saved my mother's life once can't you save my Dad's knee so he can face The Rock at WrestleMania?" Cameron asked the Anointed one who looked at Rebecca pitifully wondering how she could rob her child of his dream of seeing his Daddy wrestle The Rock and leave her little girl with a handful of melting ice she brought over to cure her swollen lip. What happened to the Rebecca she used to know? ATM had to find out what happened to her before the week was through.

"No actually I can't Cameron," she replied, "But my friend Melina here can, if your father would let her," Lita said smiling at Shawn who looked down at his wife concerned that she was gonna freak out again.

Rebecca got shakily to her feet and right up into her husband's face, "What you gonna do if I say no? I know you'll get drugged up and pass out in front of your baby boy, isn't that what you do best Shawn huh?" she roared angrily and Shawn was bewildered by her sudden hatred of him.

"Do you want me to take out this piece of trash?" LC asked him grabbing the hem of Rebecca's Gucci dress aggressively and Charlotte hushed her covering her little sister's mouth while Rebecca snatched her dress back, Charlotte just glared at her completely revolted by her behavior in front of her two children. God gave her Carla and now Charlotte could see why some women should never have children.

"Why are you doing this to me Rebecca all I want is for you to be happy?" Shawn asked her.

"Because you lied to me! You told me for better or worse, but I'm not your true love, Lita is and there's nothing I can do about it!" Rebecca screamed punching Shawn on the chest furiously and he grabbed a hold of her and calmed her down.

"But I love you!" he told her as she cried hard into his chest then pulled away from him angrily and when Shawn tried to pull her close he fell down and clutched his knee in pain.

"You don't love me you lying piece of crap you just think you do, I know love and every time I see you with Lita I remember what love is and it breaks my heart!" Rebecca said and pointed to Lita and Cameron and Chey looked over at the bald Diva who looked as concerned as they did that her hair was still missing, "That's right kids, your father's been having an affair with Lita!"

"You lied about a servant of God! Where's Randy Orton at?" Trish shouted looking for The King's Oracle as he came back from his trip to the police station, "Show Cameron the picture," she told him.

Rebecca looked at Trish like she was crazy, "The picture of me and - no you wouldn't dare!"

"Oh I would, don't you want me to tell your children the truth about their mommy? It's what I do best," Trish threatened her.

"No don't!" Rebecca told her adamantly.

"Then tell your children that his father's not having an affair with Lita," Trish demanded and Rebecca grimaced not wanting to do it but she didn't want her kids to think she a whore either.

"Cameron your father isn't having an affair with Lita," she said regretfully.

"Really?" Cameron asked her relieved.

"That's what I said," Rebecca said glaring at Lita angrily.

"Oh thank God we were so worried," Cameron said hugging his mother lovingly and Chey motioned for Rebecca to pick her up and she caught a wiff of her mother's breath and held her nose.

"Mommy you smell funny, like Uncle Scott," Chey said turning her face away and Shawn got up gingerly pushing Shelton and Nitro away from him as they tried to help him up and took Cheyenne away from his drunken wife.

"Come here baby girl," he said lovingly still holding his knee in pain.

"Daddy is Mommy leaving you for Big Daddy Cool?" Cheyenne asked him.

"No Chey she's not," Shawn replied hopeful that his children's happiness and well-being would be enough to bring Rebecca back to her senses.

"Really?" LC asked her, "Then how do you explain this picture?" she said waving the picture Randy had kept in his back pocket in front of Shawn's face. The rage that Shawn had suppressed for a good 24 hours suddenly exploded as the memory of his wife moaning and wailing under the sweaty muscular body of his oldest friend Kevin Nash came flooding back to him and he handed Chey to Lita and switched on his wife.

"Why did you cheat on me Becky why? I've given my life to you, I've loved you for almost a decade and you crept into Kevin Nash's bed behind my back? What were you thinking? Don't you care about this family, are we just window dressing, is my pay check the only thing keeping us together? Would you rather be with him, tell me now I want to know if you even care about the pain and agony you've put me through this week!" Shawn demanded and the RAW Superstars were relieved he was still the man they knew he was; he still had a set.

"Mom that's not Dad, who is that tall man lying on top of you?" Cameron asked defiantly looking at the picture and HBK pointed to Big Daddy Cool and Cameron went crimson. "You slept with my Mom?" Cameron roared glaring at Big Sexy and LC and Carla hoisted themselves up on Kevin Nash's shoulders and started to hit him repeatedly while Cameron climbed onto the table and the girls jumped down on it catapulting him right into Big Daddy Cool's face causing Big Kev to fall flat on his back where Cameron then proceeded to kick him repeatedly along with Cheyenne, LC, Carla, Dominic and Aaliyah Mysterio, Shaul, Kaylee Marie and Sherylin Guerrero.

"Children, children stop!" Vicky said pulling them back and Chris Jericho and The Rock helped her.

"No let 'em go, kick his ass Cameron, he messed around with yo momma!" JTG said encouraging Shawn's only son to go medieval on Big Daddy Cool.

"Get these lil bastards off me!" Kevin Nash yelled and Shawn went scarlet.

"Don't touch my boy!" he yelled and Vicky and Chris Benoit stormed over to the big angry silver fox.

"Who you calling lil' bastards?" Benoit asked as Nash pushed the children off of him sending them flying back onto their parents and Scott Hall formed a barricade around him.

"Ey yo, hold it down kids, you should all be in bed by now, go take a nap or something, come on Kev let's go home," Scott said escorting his Kliq buddy to the door. Cameron ran over to them and kicked them both hard but Trish pulled him back and handed him to Carlito.

"¡Este muchacho está loco, this boy is crazy!" Carlito said trying to restrain Cameron who was trying to get free kicking and throwing his fists around widly much to the delight of LC who was starting to see the old Cameron Michaels that she knew very well come out to play.

"This isn't over, my Daddy's gonna get better and then he's gonna kick your 7ft ass just like he always does you dirty old man!" Cameron spat and then literally spat on Big Daddy Cool and demanded that Carlito put him down. Shawn looked at his wife imploringly her one last time to see reason.

"What do you want me to do? If you want me to retire your gonna have to explain to Cameron that you would rather his father aka The Greatest In-Ring Performer Alive Today stay home and play house then go to WrestleMania and face The Rock aka Cameron's Favorite Wrestler of All Time," he asked her.

"Do whatever the Hell you want, like you always do," she said and staggered out of the house while Cameron pulled Lita over to him with his baby sister who didn't know what on Earth was going on but she knew to follow her brother's example at all times. She wondered where her mother was going and why she was getting in a car with Uncle Scott and Big Daddy Cool.

"Cameron where's mommy going?" she asked her brother who looked out of the door and saw his mother leaving with the man who had made his father cry and he hated seeing his father cry.

"I don't know Chey," he answered as the car drove away. He looked over at his father who threw his hands up in distress, "What happened Daddy? Why is mom leaving with him?"

"Because she hates me," Shawn answered honestly, "Because I've been a bad father and an even worse husband,"

"What? Dad don't even talk that way, Melina can you heal my father please? We've got some Big Sexy ass to kick," Cameron said and everyone laughed seeing the family resemblance between Shawn and his son immediately. HBK gingerly bent down to meet his son's eyes and put his hands on his shoulders warmly.

"You remember all the times when I passed out in front of you, when I couldn't lift my hand to feed you because my body was numb from the drugs I'd been taking, when I would disappear and your mother would find me upstairs asleep in my own vomit, you remember those days Cam?" he asked him.

"Why are you bringing that up Dad, what you think I'm mad at you for all that? Pastor Hagee said you can't live in the past I know I don't, is that why you and Mom fighting?" Cameron asked incredulously and Shawn nodded and Cameron looked over to his baby sister, "Chey tell Daddy what Miss. Taylor taught us about forgiveness in Luke 7:47,"

Chey put on her best smile and said like a proud Sunday school student, "Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many are for - for - for-given, for she loved much,"

"Very good Cheyenne, very good!" Miss. Taylor said applauding her little Sunday school student.

"Daddy can't you be like Jesus and love Mom anyway, even though she's hurt you real bad?" Cameron asked his father who was amazed at his son's spiritual maturity.

"Of course I can, I just hope she can forgive me," Shawn said and Cameron kissed him on the head.

"Don't worry about that, we've got some Scriptures for her too," Cameron said looking at his sister, "Right Chey?"

"Marriage is hon-or-able among all; but fo - forn- nica - forni-ca - tors and ad - adult - terrors God will judge, so says the Lord (Hebrews 13:4)," Chey said.

"You got some good kids you've got there Shawn," The Rock said, "They know their God,"

"And those who know their God shall prosper and do good things," all the children said together and the adults applauded them thinking they were the cutest and that Vicky, Rey and Shawn had raised their children well.

"Well Shawn, it's now or never!" Melina asked him and Shawn looked around at the many faces staring back at him reassuring him that they wanted him to stick around for as long as he could but it was the faces looking up at him from below that he cared about the most.

Cameron and Cheyenne hugged him lovingly and he made his mind up right then and there, "Then I guess the time is now," Shawn told Melina who smiled relieved, "Rocky? See you at WrestleMania brother," he said to the Brahma Bull who gave him the famous People's Eyebrow in response while Melina began to heal his battered knee.

Edge turned away depressed that once again he had been upstaged and outshined by the incomparable, the Showstoppa, the Main Event, the Icon that is HBK and his holier than thou family.

"Don't worry honey, you'll go up against The Rock next time," Lita told him rubbing his arm affectionately but Edge remained unconvinced; it seems that in life, in love (even after death) and in the ring, when it came to HBK, Edge was always second in line and if the Hardyz had their way that's exactly where Edge was going to stay.

"Lita and Edge ain't getting married," Matt told his brother who nodded in agreement.

"Not as long as we're around," Jeff said and they smiled deviously as Shawn nipped up to a round of applause from his friends, his colleagues and most importantly of all his children who believed that nothing could keep their Daddy down and Melina just proved it with her Miraculous healing abilities. The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels made a career out of proving people wrong now all he had to do was prove his wife wrong and it would be all good in the Michaels' household once again.

The atmosphere finally settled down and people started to relax as the sun came up into the sky signifying that it was indeed morning now in Florida and more importantly, it was time for breakfast.

"Oh Cena, here's that picture of Maria you gave me," Randy said handing the photo to Cena who looked at it and noticed a bulge in Maria's stomach.

"Hey this ain't the picture I gave you," Cena asked Randy confused, "What happened to the picture I gave you?"

"That is the picture you gave me, only now Maria's pregnant," Randy explained.

"But Maria's not pregnant," Cena said as Brandon Montenegro came back down with Maria who was holding her stomach still in pain.

"Oh yes I am and here's the thing, its not your baby, its CM Punk's," she informed her boyfriend who started throwing furniture around angrily.

"Are you kidding me?" he roared angrily, "you been seeing that tattoed ECW Punk again?"

"The Rock says calm down, I ain't gonna be held responsible if something gets broken and I don't mean the furniture!" Rocky told Cena.

"See what happens when you don't treat a woman right?" Miss. Taylor told Cena who was in disbelief over the news.

"She goes looking for real love," Trish added, "She didn't know that cheating on Phil with you was going to be such a fatal mistake,"

Maria looked at Trish questioning her choice of words. _Fatal? _she thought puzzled.

"And you know what the best part is?" CM Punk said coming out of nowhere with Samoa Joe and LAX, "She was mine first," he told Cena and took Maria by the hand and kissed it lovingly.

"Who's your Daddy John Cena!" Homicide teased the WWE Champion while hugging the former ROH Champion and one of his closest friends.

"Congratulations Punk, you have a 50-50 chance of having a good-looking child," Vince said shaking CM's hand.

"Thanks boss," he said and Cena went berserk.

"Call an ambulance!" Trish told Brandon as Cena speared Punk into Maria knocking her against the wall.

"My baby!" Punk cried out, "You sonofabitch!" he attacked John Cena and the WWE Superstars tried to separate them but it was no use, they were dead set on killing each other.

"Melina help me!" Maria cried out and Melina saw the blood coming out of Maria and got scared.

"Oh no," she said.

"What?" Maria asked as Melina covered her mouth in despair.

"I'm too late," she said, "you just miscarried,"

Maria started to freak out, "No you're a healer you bring people back from the dead you can save my baby!" he insisted.

"The only way I can save it is to breathe life back into it and that would mean you would have to bring it to term, how far along are you?" Melina asked her.

"Just a few weeks," Maria told her and Melina started to cry.

"I'm sorry mama, but there's nothing I can do, your baby's dead," Melina told her tearfully and Maria went ghostly white.

"The ambulance is here, come on Maria!" Brandon said picking the young Diva up and escorting her outside to the paramedics while the wrestlers pulled Punk and Cena away from each other.

"That was quick," Hernandez said to Konnan as the paramedics put Maria on a stretcher.

"They must have heard we were in town," Konnan replied and followed Homicide and Samoa Joe into their cars to go with Punk and Maria to the hospital.

"My baby," Maria said in a daze, "I lost my baby," she said holding her stomach as Punk got inside with her.

"No the doctors will save it, don't give up our baby's going to live!" Punk assured her and Maria looked at Trish and Melina who were crying over each other and she knew that it was hopeless.

"My baby's dead," she said again as the ambulance pulled away from the house and the concerned faces that were all gunning for the WWE Champion John Cena. Snitsky came up to him menacingly,

"That was definitely your fault," he assured him and the other Superstars agreed.

"Vince I'm sorry I lost it," Cena explained to the original VKM.

"That's not all you've lost, on Friday Night RAW you will surrender your WWE Championship to the winner of the Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin match, I was gonna wait until Monday but the sooner you lose that belt the better, I agree with Snitsky this was all your fault!" Vince told him.

"Will I still get to face The Game at WrestleMania?" Cena asked him desperate to main event on the Grandest Stage of Them All.

"Um no, you'll be facing the father of the child you just aborted, where the conditions will be extremely _not _in your favorCM Punk!" Vince told him, "And as a father I hope he kicks your ass, now that's sorted party on everybody! HBK faces The Rock for the very first time at WrestleMania, this is cause for celebration!"

"Wait Vince if I'm not participating in Money in the Bank can I get in on that match for the WWE Championship this Friday?" Shawn asked Vinnie Mac as the Superstars began to party up again, "I'd like to try out these new legs in the ring,"

"I don't see why not, that's fine with me so long as you stay around for as long as you can Shawn," Vince told HBK sincerely.

"I'll try," Shawn told him and Vince put his arm around HBK and lowered his voice so no-one could hear him.

"You know I always said that bastard Triple H was a bad influence on you now you have a chance to become WWE Champion, see how your friend likes that after getting his ass kicked by Lita," Vince told him.

"I'm sure he won't mind, I mean we're DX, ain't nothing gonna stop us, not even you Vince, Hunter won't care if I win the WWE title or not," Shawn told him.

"We'll see about that, now what are you gonna do about Rebecca?" Vince asked him concerned, "I'm worried about her, I think she's gonna embarrass you even further if she goes to TNA Shawn, do you think you could talk her into working for me instead? I need someone to fill Lita's shoes and I think she's wild enough to do it,"

Shawn shrugged, "I'd prefer that, I'd prefer a kiss or two instead of a slap or a kick as well, I'll let her cool off then I'll go down to Kev's house and get her,"

"Okay, I'll come with you," Vince said.

"Thanks Vince, I really appreciate it," Shawn said grateful to have the support of his arch nemesis for once.

"No problem," Vince smiled and hugged Shawn who was surprised by the gesture and he saw the disapproving eyes of The Game looking back at him from the top of the stairs with Stephanie and Aurora not liking what he saw one bit.

"Hey Rock turn off the A/C its getting cold in here," Shad asked the People's Champ who agreed and went to turn off the air conditioning but it wasn't even on.

"That's weird," The Rock thought and then he remembered the last time the temperature dropped and looked over at the Helmsleys.

"That stupid Cerebral Assman," he said shaking his head as the living room iced over and the guests started to slide across the floor which had become an ice rink in a matter of seconds.

"He's manipulating Aurora's powers!" Lita said and Vince got angry.

"Well don't just stand there Lita do something!" he demanded.

"You got it boss," Lita said God gave her one of His love taps, "Okay I'm sorry I should have asked first," she replied to the Almighty and he gave her permission to stop Aurora's attack. She lifted her hands up to the air and a heatwave rushed throughout the room melting the ice and warming everyone pleasantly. Hunter grimaced.

"Come on Aurora you can take her, hit her with a gale force wind!" Hunter instructed his daughter who sensed her father's discontent and shook her rattle happily sending large hail stones at Lita who melted them before they could hurt anyone.

"Hunter cut it out, her powers are not supposed to be used this way!" Lita warned Hunter.

"Yeah and your getting all my furniture wet!" Rocky added.

"Your party was ruined the minute he got here, both of you stop!" Vince demanded but Aurora kept lobbing the huge balls of ice at Lita causing everyone to take cover under or behind The People's furniture, "Aurora I'm your grandfather and I demand that you stop this right now!"

A huge hail stone hit Vince right in the face and he went down immediately.

"Vince!" Linda cried attending to her unconscious husband.

"Call another ambulance!" Cryme Tyme yelled.

"No he'll be fine, Linda go get your grand daughter," Trish said while Melina attended to Vince. Linda came towards the Helmsleys and motioned for Stephanie to hand her Aurora.

"He deserved it Mom he disowned me!" Stephanie argued.

"Stephanie Cheyenne just told us about forgiveness can't you just forgive your father?" Linda reasoned.

"No, he's a no good, low down dirty sonofabitch!" Hunter replied and Stephanie nodded.

"What he said," she said pointing to Hunter and Linda rolled her eyes.

"Give me Aurora, you both smoked too much of that shit!" she said going to take her grand daughter from the mischievous parents but Stephanie turned her away from her mother wondering what "shit" her mother was talking about.

"Trish I can't get to her!" Linda said to The Truth.

"Aurora!" came the melodic voice of Austin Starr from the top of the stairs; he'd been in Rocky's wife's closet helping himself to some fabulous earrings and chokers for the past three hours, "Do you want Austin Starr to sing your favorite song?"

"Yes!" Linda cheered.

"No!" Stephanie and Hunter said together.

"Hit it Shelton!" Austin said to one half of the World's Greatest Tag Team who put the Music Box CD on that Austin gave him and played track 5. As soon as the music blared Aurora lowered her rattle closed her eyes and went back to sleep while Austin sang along to the Mariah Carey lullaby.

_When I am lost_

_You shine a light for me_

_And set me free_

_When I am low_

_You take away my fears_

_And lead me through_

_The loneliness and emptiness_

_Through the darkest night_

_Somehow I survive_

_Through it all_

_When I tell you I'm the only one you need_

_Sweet and tenderly_

_And your love breaks away the clouds surrounding me_

_All I have I want to give to thee_

"Oh I love this song!" Torrie Wilson said jumping up and down like a cheerleader.

"Yeah it's so romantic!" Krystal Marshall added and then yawned, "Man I'm getting sleepy,"

"Yeah me too," Torrie said closing her eyes, eventually all the Superstars, both TNA and WWE started to fall asleep along with The Rock's celebrity guests. The Game got angry but even he couldn't keep his eyes open and before he could say SUCK IT he was asleep with Stephanie on his shoulder also asleep. The only people awake were ATM, TKO, Carlito and Shawn Michaels.

"How come we didn't fall asleep?" Shawn wondered looking around at all the sleeping Superstars and celebrities.

"Because we're covered by the Anointing," Lita answered.

"When you and Carlito get your revelation like Randy, you're gonna be blown away by what you can do," Trish told him and Shawn got really excited, then he noticed that Cam, Chey and the rest of the children were also still awake.

"They're covered too?" he asked Lita.

"God says bring the little children to them so that He can put His hand on them, these little guys are a very important part of our next mission," Lita explained and Cameron beamed.

"Did you hear that Chey? We're missionaries!" he told his little sister.

"And he's back," LC said wishing Cameron wasn't such a New Testament nerd, "I guess I won't have to steal him back from you after all," she told Carla who shook her head at her cousin while Charlotte slept on top of Brandon who was sleeping with his arms around a really pretty young woman not noticing LC going over to rescue Aurora from Uncle Hunter's and Aunt Stephanie.

"Hey Stephanie, I'M BACK!" she said and Aurora woke up and started shaking her rattle happily at seeing LC's face suddenly the music stopped and everybody woke up.

"LC!" Stephanie said as Hunter woke up and saw his protégé looking back at him.

"Not a morning person huh?" LC quipped and Hunter smiled while Stephanie rolled her eyes and went back to sleep dreading spending another weekend with Hunter's young apprentice.

Trish leaned over to Charlotte who wiped her eyes as she awoke, "There's something I have to tell you about LC,"

"What?" Charlotte asked the Canadian blond, "If it's about her obsession with kicking ass I know, she a total tomboy,"

"She's more than a tomboy, she's a Helmsley," Trish told Charlotte whose eyes went wide with shock, "Or more accurately, she will be. I'll explain over breakfast, Carlito make with the breakfast burritos Holmes!" Trish told her boyfriend and Shelton, Nitro and HBK ran to the kitchen and attempted to make the best breakfast of their lives sparing the taste buds of Rocky's guests from the horror that was Carlito's caribbean cooking, they'd been through enough already they deserved to eat a decent breakfast.

"Guys please The Rock has people to do that, Ricardo whip up us some eggs and bacon right away!" The Rock asked his cook who was just waking up with the rest of the kitchen staff.

"Si señor," Ricardo said sleepily. Carlito came over to him and whispered a recipe in his ear which he liked a lot and Nitro and Shelton looked at each other thinking Mickie D's sounded real good about now.

"Who wants McDonalds?" Shelton asked everyone, most of the adults were not keen and wanted to take a chance on Carlito's cooking but the children jumped up and down enthusiastically.

"Let's take them to that one near Miami Beach, there won't be any fans in there yet its only 7:30," Shawn said to Shelton and Nitro.

"We'll come with," Jeff Hardy said coming over with his brother.

"And us!" Cryme Tyme said at the same tyme.

"Count me in," Lita said.

"Me too!" Edge said flying over to his fiancé not wanting her to go anywhere with Shawn unless he was there too.

"I guess that means we're going too right Trish?" Melina asked The Truth who shook her head.

"No we stay here and enjoy my boyfriend's cooking!" she demanded and Melina frowned at her.

"Did God tell you to say that?" she asked her and Trish pouted and turned away.

"No," she answered.

"Arriba undele!" Melina said flying out the door with half the WWE roster behind her leaving Trish wondering what was so wrong with her boyfriend's cooking. She looked over at Hunter and LC and a very distraught John Cena and figured she was in for a very busy morning and some of Carlito's Caribbean cooking was exactly what she needed to get her through the day.

Meanwhile back at Universal Studios, Paparazzi Productions was debating on what to do about the videotape of Kevin Nash having sex with Rebecca Michaels.

"Why don't we air it on the Internet? Vince'll never know it was us!" Alex Shelley suggested and Jeff Jarrett stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"I think that's a good idea as long as Rebecca was okay with it, how serious is she about teaming up with me, Scott Hall and Nash?" Jeff asked Shelley.

"Are you kidding me? Scott Hall just called me from Kevin's house, his wife's out of town and Big Kev's having sex with Rebecca right now!" Shelley said and Jeff smiled deviously.

"That's excellent, Shawn's wife is banging Kevin Nash while his wife's out of town, this is gonna put TNA's rating through the roof, we'll make them our own personal Edge and Lita and HBK will be Matt Hardy, Version 2!" Jarrett said then his face darkened when he remembered he still had to go to RAW on Friday, "Dammit, I have to kiss Vince McMahon's ass in that stupid Kiss My Ass club!"

"Why do we have to turn up at all? Vince won't sue us, it'll give TNA way too much publicity and he still fails to believe we even exist," Shelley asked.

"Because my Daddy says so, you know how tight those two are," Jeff brushed his hand over his short blond hair in frustration, "Man I need some food let's go to Mickie D's, I'm buying,"

Shelley clapped his hands together enthusiastically, "I love rolling with the upper echelon, I never have to pay for anything anymore!" he said and Jeff Jarrett put his arm over Alex and smiled.

"Stick with me and you'll never go hungry again," he said and Alex nodded clutching his trusty video camera; he was more than willing to keep Jeff happy anyway he could unaware that he would soon have to put his whole career on the line to help out an old friend.


	6. You Got Served!

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Five - You Got Served!

Orlando, FL:

Tamara Nash opened her mouth and laughed as she looked out of her windshield at the unmistakable form of Shawn Michaels teaching the notorious VKM how to play patty cake outside her house. She nudged her son Tristen awake so he could see his favorite Uncle and Mr. McMahon goofing around and he jumped out of the car and ran over to them before she could even get turn off the engine.

"He sure loves you Shawn, I only wish I could say the same thing about Kevin," she sighed slamming the door closed and walking over to her husband's oldest friend.

Shawn scooped 7 year old Tristen up in his arms and swung him around, Vince McMahon ducked as the little boy's feet nearly caught him in the face.

"Hey lil man," Shawn said hugging him and planting a kiss on his cheek much to Tristen's delight.

"I miss you," he said and Shawn sighed thinking if he didn't sort things out with Nash this could be the last time he got to see his favourite God son.

"I know, I miss you too but I'm gonna make it up to you, Cam and Chey are at McDonalds with Dominic and the Guerrero sisters, whad'ya say we go to Mickie D's and join them huh?" Shawn said and Tristen nodded with enthusiasm.

"Yeah!" he cheered and Shawn smiled brightly.

"Okay, you go with Mr. McMahon, I'm gonna stay here and talk to your mother about something private," Shawn told him and he frowned.

"Is it about Daddy?" Tristen asked and Shawn looked over at Tamara who looked as depressed as he felt right now.

"Yes it is," Shawn replied and Tristen nodded looking over at his mother who took him from Shawn and hugged him tightly.

"Cheer up son," Vinnie Mac told him fake punching him on the chin, "Most kids would love to ride a limo to McDonalds,"

"Most kids aren't Nash kids, they could never understand how one of the greatest Superstars of all time could be such a terrible father. Shaul, Sherylin and Kaylee Marie, Dominic, Aaliyah and CC have the best Dads in the world, I'm not so lucky," Tristen said sadly and Shawn rubbed his head in dismay.

"Vince go please, I need to sort this out," he said to his boss who smiled at Tristen and sat with him in the back of the limo which took off to the airport. Tamara and Shawn hugged both weak from all the emotional distress they had gone through with Kevin Nash.

"Seven years Shawn, I can't believe its come to this," Tamara said despondently.

"I know, what happened to change him overnight?" Shawn wondered rubbing Tamara's back.

"I don't know, but I can't fight any longer Tristen's gonna be seeing a shrink before he's in high school," Tamara said.

"You can't stop fighting Tammy, I mean I know Rebecca's still seeing Kevin but I think together we can make them both see reason," Shawn replied positively. Tamara's arms went limp and Shawn pulled back and saw her expression change from distressed to enraged.

"Rebecca's what?" she said in disbelief, "Your wife is having an affair wth my husband?" she said pointing at herself and Shawn furrowed his brow in confusion.

"You mean you didn't know?" Shawn said, "Where have you been over the last 2 days?"

"I've been in Palm Springs visiting my parents for the past week!" Tamara answered and Shawn scratched his face nervously.

"Oh gees," he sighed.

"Details, I want details Shawn!" Tamara said, "What the f**k is your wife doing sleeping with my husband when she's got you, Cam and Chey, not to mention a f**king life of her own in San Antonio!"

"No she doesn't, apparently I've destroyed her life and her faith in God all in the same day," Shawn said sarcastically but Tamara wanted more information, "You see there's this woman called Amy -"

"Shawn don't tell me you cheated on your wife please; I don't think I could handle anymore betrayal today," Tamara said throwing up her hands in frustration.

"No I didn't but she thinks I am, you see there's this woman called Amy - "

"I thought after I left, Kevin would go hang out with his boys, go spend some time with his best buddies, Shawnie and Hunter, Sean and Scottie and now I find out he's been f**king your wife! I should have never let you marry that slut, I knew she only wanted you for your money!"

"Tammy calm down before you say something you'll regret," Shawn warned her.

"What you mean like how Becky loved the idea of being married to the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and couldn't wait to brag about it to Sharmell and I after you guys got engaged? You should have heard at WCW, "I'm getting married to the Heartbreak Kid, I'm gonna be rich and famous!"" Tammy said defiantly pacing back and forth in front of her doorstep.

"That's normal, of course she was happy to be getting married to me, she was in love with me," Shawn replied and Tamara shook her head.

"I hate to be the one to tell you this but since we're on the subject of breaking news she only wanted you for your doe-ray-me honey and that's the Gospel Truth," Tamara told him, "She ain't nuthin but a gold digger,"

"NO!" Shawn yelled furiously, "My life with Rebecca is wonderful, I couldn't have asked for a more devoted, loving and beautiful woman to have children with, a boy and a girl imagine that? Our marriage is perfect, she stood by me when I couldn't get out of bed in the morning and she defended me to all those snotty nosed so-called Christians who called me a junkie and wanted me out of the church. She supported me 100 percent when I told her I was returning to wrestling full-time and things have been great for 7 years. Its just . . ." Shawn broke off, he found it difficult to explain what changed their relationship sour, "There's this woman called Amy Dumas aka Lita, now this is gonna sound really weird but bear with me okay?"

"Okay," Tamara said compassionately.

"Amy's a servant of God and she's got this special gift; she's not like any other Christian I know, Hell I didn't even know she believed in God but she can cast out demons and cleanse the soul with the Spirit of the Anointing and she saved both my and Becky's life last year with her special God-given powers. Trish Stratus told me that she's my eternal soul mate and Rebecca is Kevin's eternal soul mate. Do you hear what I'm saying? My life here on Earth is with Becky but once I get to Heaven, it will me and Lita - for all eternity," Shawn said and Tamara gaped at him.

"You are a nut job Shawn, how could you make up such a ridiculous story to justify your affair with Lita?" she said incredulously.

"Its not ridiculous it's the Gospel Truth, why would I be with anyone but my wife I love Rebecca you know that, you've got to explain to her that I would never cheat on her with any woman!" Shawn pleaded.

"Shawn face facts, my marriage is over and apparently so is yours; this whole situation is obviously affecting your sanity, I don't know . . . maybe its time for us both to move on," Tamara said and Shawn couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I don't give up that easily," he said resolutely, "And as Kev's wife of nearly 20 years neither should you,"

Tamara laughed, "Oh Shawn ever the optimist huh? Okay choir boy, let's go inside and give the big bad wolf a slap around the head, maybe that'll knock some sense into him,"

Tamara went to open the door when she noticed Shawn wasn't moving. "Come on in," she said but HBK was reluctant to go inside, "What's wrong why aren't you moving?"

"Um there's a possibility Kevin's got um . . . company," he said and Tamara went beet red.

"REBECCA!" she cried and ran up to her bedroom almost flying up the staircase with Shawn hot on her trail.

"Tammy wait!" he cried out to her but she reached the bedroom door and found pretty much what Shawn and Hunter found at the hotel two nights ago.

"You filthy whore!" she spat as Rebecca Michaels looked up at Big Sexy's wife from underneath the bed covers. She pulled the sheets back to reveal Kevin Nash on top of her in a very intimate position, I'll just leave it at that . . .

"Oh look Kev, she came home early, I guess you better stop," Rebecca said and Shawn banged his head against the door frame in despair.

"This is not happening," he said covering his face much to his wife's amusement.

"Oh but it is happening, in fact, I think this is the fifth time in the last hour its happened, sorry Tammy but you might wanna splash out on some decent silk sheets, these aren't exactly my style, I am sleeping here after all, at least I will be from now on. Maybe you should call your mother and tell her you'll be coming back down to Palm Springs and that little brat you call a son is coming with you," Rebecca said brashly and Tamara laughed in disbelief and turned to Shawn.

"See? It's just like I told you, your wife ain't nothing but a gold digging slut, hold out your hand Shawn," she said and Shawn obeyed as Tamara took off her earrings and placed them in the Showstoppa's hand, "Your wife is about to get the ass kicking of a lifetime!"

"You put one hand on her and I'm gonna call the cops," Kevin Nash said adamantly wiping his face. Shawn dialled 911 on his cell-phone.

"Yeah I'd like to report a break in, a break up and a beat down of gigantic proportions, thank you," he said and dropped his cell before jumping on Kevin Nash while Tamara Nash beat the living Hell out of Rebecca.

"Shawn I just came back to see if . . . whoa," Vince McMahon said as the fight ensued and Tamara dragged Rebecca from one end of the bedroom to the other by her hair slamming her face on the armoire and viciously kicking her in the ribs while HBK beat Kevin Nash with the lamp stand over and over again, "Hello K.D?" Vince said to the Head of Talent Relations Kevin Dunn on his cell phone, "I think we found a replacement for Lita, Kevin Nash's soon-to-be-ex wife. That's right Tamara Nash, newest WWE Diva, you can call off the Diva Search!"

Vince hung up and waited for the police to arrive, "About five hundred a piece should do it," he said counting out the hundred dollar bills in his dress pants pocket and he paid off the cops to let Shawn get the revenge he deserved for being put through a personal Hell even Vince McMahon himself couldn't have created.

Back in Miami at a local hospital . . .

Homicide and Samoa Joe were in the waiting room while CM Punk got word on what the status of Maria's unborn child was. Judging from the doctor's face the chances of it surviving that nasty bump was nil but Punk insisted they try everything they could to save what would be his first baby by his wonderful girlfriend even though she didn't look so wonderful right now.

"I think we should just go in," Homicide said to Joe.

"No you know what'll happen, we'll get into a fight with the doctors and the hospital will have security throw us outta here like they did Konnan and Hernandez," Joe replied.

"The doctor over reacted it wasn't like Konnan was really gonna have the doctor's wife killed if he didn't save Phil's first born child," Homicide argued.

"He drew a diagram and downloaded a map to the doctor's home and put a 'X' over the man's house with a big red magic marker: if that's not a threat I don't know what is," Joe said and Homicide rolled his eyes agreeing that sometimes maybe Konnan took things just a little bit to personally.

"Okay so what are we gonna do if the baby doesn't make it?" Homicide said and Joe held up a piece of paper to him.

"I'm already on it," he said and Homicide smiled as he read Joe's note:

"_John Cena, Joe's gonna kill you_!" he read aloud and laughed maliciously before scribbling his signature on it, "Hey Punk you might wanna read this," he said to his best friend from Ring of Honor who came out of Maria's room with a fury neither Joe or Homicide had seen for a long time. Punk looked at the note and stretched out his arm.

"Blade me," he told Homicide who pulled out his switchblade and cut Punk's wrist slightly. Joe and Homicide covered him as he signed his name on the note next to Homicide's name in his own blood, "Now send it to him, I want John Cena to know that his days on Earth are numbered," he said darkly and Joe and Homicide nodded their agreement; obviously Punk's first born child didn't make it, "I'm gonna go back inside and comfort Maria, you guys go on ahead I'll be fine,"

"You sure?" Joe asked him and he nodded.

"Okay we'll be at Mickie D's if you need us amigo," Homicide assured him and Punk gave them a small nod before going back into Maria's room to try and mend her broken heart, only problem was his heart was broken too and he would not forgive Cena for causing the untimely death of his unborn child.

"Oh Maria, I'm so sorry," he said clutching Maria's limp arm and wrapping his fingers around her own as she stared into the air not really focusing on anything except the death of her first child, "But I will make sure Cena doesn't get away with this, he will pay and he will pay dearly - he will pay with his life!"

A small smile appeared gradually from the side of Maria's pale and ghostly face and she slowly turned to face her true love whose eyes were a sore with tears as her own, "You know what I wanted to call her?" she said in a croaky whisper and Punk choked back the tears that were threatening to burst from his eyes.

"What?" he asked her shakily.

"Maria," she answered regret lacing her words and Punk cried tears of sorrow for his dead baby girl and the wonderful woman that would have brought her first baby into this world.

Meanwhile . . .

Joe and Homicide walked gloomily out of the hospital where Konnan and Hernandez were waiting for them.

"So is the baby alive?" Konnan asked them and they shook their heads sorrowfully, "No, it can't be? Punk is like familia what are we gonna do about this?" Konnan yelled angrily and Homicide held up Joe's note which Konnan and Hernandez examined closely.

"Are you guys loco? We can't just send John Cena a death threat, he murdered Punk's first child, I say eye-for-eye you know what I'm talking about?" Konnan said and LAX nodded.

"187 vato," Hernandez said and Joe grinned in agreement.

"You know for once, I am in total agreement with you Konnan, just make sure nobody knows Punk is involved, he's gotta go back to that bullshit company. Take John Cena out before he leaves Florida," Joe said.

"I say we get him before the RAW show, where's he at now?" Hernandez asked fired up.

"Over at Rocky's crib with that fine ass Trish Stratus," Homicide replied and Konnan slapped him around the head, "Ow what did I say?"

"We don't like white people, even the hot ones got it?" Konnan reminded him.

"But Punk's white and you said he was familia," Homicide argued.

"No Holmes, he's your familia which makes him my familia. You guys have been best friends since Ring of Honor first started man and I'm down with that, good friends are hard to come by. Punk's gonna know that after tonight, he's never gonna have to worry about John Cena being WWE Champion no more! Let's roll, oh a le!"

"Okay but let's swing by McDonald's first I'm starving," Joe said.

"Man you always hungry, you carry on you're gonna end up like Big Show," Homicide warned him.

"Yeah fat and unemployed, we'll get some food in Miami you can wait until then fat boy," Konnan told Joe and he rolled his eyes.

"Fine I got a strawberry donut in my pants," he said reaching into his front pocket, "Hey where is it?"

"Hmmm strawberry, my favorite," Homicide said finishing off the half eaten pastry.

"Oh man!" Joe complained while LAX divided up the remains of the donut amongst each other and licked their fingers taunting their Samon friend. They all jumped into Konnan's low rider and sped off to find John Cena and get some Mickie D's along the way.

MacDonald's, Miami Beach, FL:

Vince had arrived with HBK who looked like he had been through Hell, on arrival they saw Melina, Lita, Nitro, Edge, the Hardyz, Cryme Tyme, Torrie Wilson, Krystal Marshall, Chris Benoit, Vickie and Chavo Guerrero eating with Cameron, Cheyenne, Dominic, Shaul, Sherylin, Kaylee Maria Guerrero, Charlotte, LC, Carla, Cassidy, Brandon, Annabel Taylor and the fabulous new addition to Vince McMahon's wardrobe department, Austin Starr.

"Hey guys," Shawn said depressed.

"Hey Shawn," they all replied back in one voice.

"I take it no wifey come home?" Shad asked munching his Big Mac.

"Where's Mom?" Cameron asked his father.

"Mommy been bad again?" Cheyenne asked her father.

"Just how bad has she been?" LC asked HBK.

"That bad huh?" Nitro asked Shawn who hadn't said anything.

"Didn't she listen to you at all?" Krystal asked.

"What did you say to her?" Torrie Wilson asked.

"Are you guys getting a divorce?" Dominic Mysterio asked.

"I don't wanna leave my Mommy!" Cheyenne cried and Lita kissed her on the head.

"Looks like you've got a new Mommy baby girl!" JTG added.

"Shut up!" Edge replied.

"Ha-ha!" the Hardyz laughed at Edge.

"Well if Mommy don't love Daddy there's no more perfect family, you'll be normal like the rest of America," LC said simply.

"Does that mean Cam gets to sleep over more often?" Carla asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I could be over a lot more," Cameron replied and LC jumped out of her seat and grabbed HBK by the legs and shook him violently.

"I can't take much more of Cameron and Carla, they are like this close to getting killed, work it out Shawn you and Becky gotta take your son home! Cheyenne's cool, but that son of yours is too much for one night let alone a week!" she begged HBK who knelt down to face her directly.

"You're so lucky to have a sister like Charlotte and a cousin like Carla, Cameron wishes he had a family like yours LC, he used to but he doesn't anymore," Shawn told her and the Superstars and their families stood up and came over to HBK with great concern.

"You mean, it's over?" Melina asked him worriedly and Shawn looked up at all the concerned faces and gave a big sigh before answering.

"I don't know," he said, "Why don't you ask her?"

Shawn pointed to a battered woman on crutches with a black eye and a rip in her expensive black Gucci dress that went from the hem right up to the armpit. Her hair was destroyed with parts strewn over her face like she had been through a blizzard or that Ring movie and her lip was busted in several places. This was the final result of a lethal ass-whoopin delivered by the wife of the husband Rebecca Michaels had been sleeping with, Tamara Nash - WWE's newest Diva as soon as Vince could get her signed up. Rebecca was a sight to behold and it wasn't a pretty one, in fact Cheyenne barely recognized her mother and attached herself to Lita in fear of the wicked witch of the south.

"Mommy?" Cameron said in disbelief, "What happened to your hair?"

"And your dress?" Melina asked her.

"And your face?" Krystal asked too.

"I got . . . I got . . ." Rebecca stuttered but she couldn't get the words out, Cryme Tyme figured they'd help her out.

"YOU GOT SERVED!" they said at the same time and everyone laughed at Rebecca as she scowled at the WWE Superstars and her family who couldn't help but wonder where that wonderful woman they used to call mother had gone and who was this monster that had replaced her?

A pretty blond from the other side of Mickie Ds told her son to sit down as the drama unfolded before the customers' eyes distracting children from their Happy Meals and free cheap ass toys from that last Disney movie.

"Sean sit down," she said flicking her strawberry blond hair over her shoulder while her two year old son went back to his puzzle on the table. His twenty-five year-old mother shook her head at the embarrassment of going through a family affair in public currently on display over on the other side of the restaurant. She felt bad for Shawn Michaels and his children and apparently they had so much more in common than she realized; maybe now was a good time to introduce herself.

"Poor baby, he needs a new start; something fun and exciting to take away the bitterness from his once sweet life," the perky young woman thought dreamily resting her hands on her babyface.

"Are you talking to me mommy?" Sean said looking up from his crayola drawing of Vince McMahon and a big ugly splodge that could only have been Rebecca Michaels.

"No honey, I'm talking about another person named Shawn," she replied, "Finish up now, let's go say hi to the Showstoppa and WWE Superstars and show them who the real star of this family is,"

"Yeah!" Sean cried excitedly taking his mother's hand as everyone turned to watch Britney Spears and her son Sean Preston make their way over to the chaotic bunch of characters that were the WWE Superstars, their family and friends and the newly appointed Head of Vince McMahon's Wardrobe Department, Austin Starr who screamed,

"Oh my God its Britney Spears!" at the top of his voice causing Paparazzi Production leader Alex Shelley to change the film in his camera several times under the table where he remained undetected. Shelley was ready and willing to make sure that today on RAW, the whole world knew the drama that was Shawn Michaels' personal life and he would capture every moment of it as HBK's marriage degenerated right in front of his very eyes. To everyone at Mickie D's however, it looked like Shawn was about to get lucky, very lucky indeed.

"Hi Shawn, this is my son Sean and I'm Britney, its nice to meet you," Britney Spears said holding out her hand and Shawn just looked at it like it was covered with leaches.

"Can I help you?" he said and Britney smiled gently.

"No Shawn you can't even help yourself, let me tell you something that's gonna help you; the future's bright, the past is ugly and the present is me Britney - which one you gonna choose?"

Cryme Tyme gasped and Vince dropped his cell put Austin caught it and cleaned it off before handing it back to him.

"Alex?" he said seeing the unmistakable head of his former best friend under the table, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Um - getting outta here?" Alex Shelley replied and knocked over the table all the Superstars were eating around and made a run for the exit.

"He spilt milkshake all over my DX tee!" Carla complained, "After him LC!"

"He's been recording this whole conversation!" Vicky Guerrero said.

"He probably wants to air it on RAW tonight," Chavo added.

"Well we won't give him the chance," Vince said, "Austin after you sew my pants, wash my dress shirt and polish my new Italian loafers I want you to find Alex and break his damn neck!"

Austin gulped, "I can't do that sir, after all I am a TNA wrestler and you guys can all kiss my ass!" he kissed Shawn Michaels and wrapped his feather boa around his neck, "Relax Shawn, for once in your life you're going to be famous for something other than your matches, see you later!" and with that he ran towards the highway where Alex was being strangled by LC with a leather belt, "Get off him you little brat!" Austin said throwing LC down onto the ground.

"That's my apprentice you know?" came the unmistakable voice of The Game and Alex and Austin turned to see him getting out of his tour bus with Stephanie and Aurora Rose accompanying him.

"Hunter, we thought you were at Rocky's house?" Shelley said nervously.

"I was but I got a sense that my lil assassin was in trouble so I came down here and I was right, are you okay LC?" Hunter asked the little soldier from Bakersfield, CA.

"I've never been so humiliated in all my life, look you can see my underwear!" she said pulling down her army green skirt angrily, "Austin/Alex, I got all the time in the world I can kick your ass anytime I want I'm only eight years-old but Hunter's got no time for this crap so you either hand over that tape or he will beat you within an inch of your lives in under a minute,"

Austin and Alex knew she was right but the footage on that tape was more important than they were, especially once it got into Jeff Jarrett's hands.

"Bring it on Assassin," Alex said getting ready to fight.

"Give us your best shot!" Austin taunted Hunter taking his earrings off.

Hunter smirked and stood next to his wife and daughter and putting LC on his shoulders.

"Oh I'm not gonna fight you . . ." he said calmly and LC questioned his judgment.

"You can take them both what's wrong with you?" she snapped and Stephanie told her to hush, "Why don't you go and get another boob job?" LC replied and Hunter laughed much to his wife's chagrin.

"No I know I could take them both down in under a minute, but I know somebody who could destroy the whole TNA roster in under 30 seconds," Hunter said and Alex and Austin looked at each other puzzled as Aurora began to shake her rattle.

"Uh-oh," Austin and Alex said simultaneously.

"Austin, Alex - meet the youngest member of the Helmsley clan, Hurricane Aurora," Hunter said holding up his daughter who was laughing joyously shaking her rattle rapidly and suddenly giant balls of hail rained down on Alex and Austin knocking them from side to side causing massive welts to appear all over their bodies.

"Whoa!" LC said in delight as they watched Austin and Alex get battered while remaining untouched themselves, "This is the most awesomest thing these eyes have ever seen!"

"You wait til you get a little older," Stephanie said kissing her husband cheekily and LC rolled her eyes.

"I'll leave the romance to you and Carla Mrs. H," she said as the last hail stone rained down on Shelley knocking him to the ground where Austin was struggling to get up but failed to and lay motionless on the parking lot. LC jumped down off of The Game's shoulder and secured the videotape. The sky cleared and Aurora went back to normal sleeping in her father's arms.

"Let's go inside I'm starving," Hunter said.

"But you just had six of Carlito's breakfast burritos," Stephanie said.

"Yeah and I introduced them all to the People's toilet," Hunter replied and Stephanie turned up her nose in disgust, "Hey there's Vince - hey Daddy!" she called out to her father who was talking with his back to the door not even noticing that they were coming in.

"Hey Vince we got something for you - Britney Spears!" Hunter said loudly waking Aurora up and scaring the celebrity half to death.

"Who are you?" she said confused.

"Who am I? I'm like your biggest fan I write to you all the time I've got all your albums!" Hunter said excitedly.

"Oh Lord," Stephanie said covering her face in embarassment.

"Yeah and I like love Crossroads, its my favorite movie of all time, you know after Blade 3 and the Three Amigos," Hunter continued causing the Superstars to chuckle, "What are you doing here are you coming to the show tonight? Please say you are!"

Britney Spears turned to Shawn Michaels who looked back at Lita who nodded along with the Hardyz, Cryme Tyme and the Guerrero family.

"Well Shawn, are you down with that?" she asked the Showstoppa and Hunter looked at his best friend puzzled. Shawn smiled at him and looked back at Britney sweetly.

"Yeah, I'm down with that," he said and escorted her over to the now upright table where she sat with her son amongst the WWE Superstars and his family and friends, "Boy do I have news for you," he told Hunter who was confused by what he had just seen; it looked like Shawn was on a date, a date with Britney Spears. _But that can't be right, he loves his wife and . . ._

"G'AH!" he shrieked at the black and blue face of Rebecca Michaels over by the trash, "What in God's name happened to you?" he asked horrified by her apprearance.

Becky wiped the last trace of blood from around her nose and looked up and said, "I got served," and Stephanie pulled Hunter's arm to get his attention away from Shawn and Britney talking over a vanilla shake.

"It couldn't have happened to a nicer person," she said and Hunter said nothing, all he knew was that the Kliq was dead and Shawn was having breakfast with Britney Spears.


	7. LoveFuryEnergyPassion I

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, Stephanie McMahon, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Six - LoveFuryEnergyPassion I

Alex Shelley and Austin Starr winced in pain as they tried to get back to their feet after being pelted with giant hailstones by a baby with supernatural powers.

"I can't believe she turned on me," Austin said in disbelief, "After I sang her Mariah Carey's Music Box, like father, like daughter man!" he moaned shaking the ice out of his hair.

"Shut up Austin," Shelley said irritated, "Thanks to you, we've got nothing to humiliate Shawn Michaels with tonight, we're gonna have to kiss Vince McMahon's ass!"

"Um no stupid, we're not going to kiss Vince McMahon's ass, Jeff Jarrett is going to kiss Vince McMahon's ass," Austin reminded Alex putting his earrings back in. Alex dragged him up by the scruff of his t shirt angrily.

"We work for Jeff Jarrett remember! Its' our job not to make the King of the Mountain look stupid, how in the Hell is Double J kissing the Chairman of the Board of WWE Entertainment's ass on national TV gonna help TNA get to the top huh?" Alex pushed Austin away angrily, "You know sometimes its hard for me to believe I would be friends with someone so stupid,"

"I got an idea Alex, why don't you kiss MY ass!" Austin replied.

"I don't know where's its been, on top of Kevin Nash's dick most likely!" Alex yelled back and Austin took off his earrings again and threw them down defiantly.

"Okay that's it, you're going down Charlie Brown . . . hey wait look!" Austin said suddenly pointing to a Big Sexy figure coming towards them with something attached to its arm.

"Kevin?" Alex said incredulously as Kevin and Tamara Nash came towards the MacDonald's parking lot with their gums flapping about custody rights.

"Oh yeah well I love him more and there's no way I'm having my son raised by a two-timing whore and my backstabbing bastard husband!" Tamara yelled and Kevin ignored her and turned to his PCS candidates.

"Alex what you got?" he said and Shelley pointed to Austin.

"He blew it, he went and got Aurora mad!" he said and Austin looked at him in disgust.

"Hey you're the one who got their ass handed to them by an eight year old girl!" he retaliated and they argued back and forth over who lost the videotape.

Nash massaged his temples in frustration, "Do you mean to tell me that you don't have anything for me to give to Jeff Jarrett?" he asked them calmly but a storm was coming they could feel it.

Shelley gulped, "She attacked us Kevin, she pelted us with giant snowballs!"

Tamara laughed, "This is your PCS? These guys are on crack; giant snowballs my ass its over 90 degrees out here this is Florida! The only freak weather we get are tropical storms and hurricanes,"

"She is a hurricane!" Alex tried to explain, "Hunter calls her Hurricane Aurora,"

"Who?" Tamara asked and Kevin raised his hand to her, "Oh what you gonna do hit me? I'll knock that head of yours right off pal so don't push it!"

"She put you in your place," Austin smirked and Alex looked at him like he was the biggest idiot on the planet, "What?" Austin asked innocently.

"GO AND GET THAT VIDEOTAPE NOW!" Nash roared and Austin and Alex ran into MacDonald's at great speed as Nash glared through the Mickie D's window at the WWE Superstars and fans asking them for autographs as they ate. One of the divas looked very familiar but he couldn't put his finger on where he'd seen her before.

"Are we going in? We should at least say hi to Stephanie and the kids," Tamara said with her hands on her hips.

"Where do I know that girl?" Kevin said stepping closer to the window.

"What girl?" his wife said following him.

"That girl sitting next to Shawn," Kevin replied and Tamara put her face up to the glass and smiled, "Do you know her?"

"No but I'm about to get to know her, looks like Shawn's moving on!" Tamara replied proudly and swung the entrance door wide open knocking her husband on the head intentionally with it.

"You're lucky I'm a gentle giant," he said holding his head contemptuously and he followed his wife into the restaurant curious to meet this cute little blond chick.

"What do you mean you can't heal her?" Hunter roared over his vanilla coke and Melina shrugged as Nitro fed fries into her mouth.

"She doesn't want me to," she replied with her mouth full and Hunter scowled at the Miraculous One.

"It doesn't mean you can't do it anyway, I thought you liked to heal people?" he asked her impatiently.

"I do I love it, but I can't force my will on the person that needs healing, they have to want to be healed. Why do you think I couldn't fix Shawn's knee after Rebecca bashed it in with Double J's guitar?" Melina explained taking a bite out of Nitro's burger, "Hmmm that's good, honey I thought you were off red meat this week?"

"I know but all that changed when I saw Britney, she increased my appetite!" Nitro replied and Britney smiled.

"Why thank you Nitro," she said sweetly.

"No problem, you know it is so cool of you to hang with us even though your divorcing K-Fed, I hope you don't think we really like him," Nitro asked Ms. Spears.

"There's so much I still like about him I wouldn't expect you to be any different," Britney said and Shawn offered her some more of his burger. Hunter watched as she bit into it hungrily, "Hmmm, I don't care what anyone says but girls who diet don't know what they're missing!"

"Amen sister!" Melina said and they slapped hands and went," Whoooo!"

"As I was saying," Hunter said in annoyance that Stephanie hadn't offered him any of her burger but instead was yakking away with Vicky Guerrero about going to the mall before RAW started, "Rebecca is not herself, she can't make that sort of decision,"

"You got some ketchup on your lip," Shawn told Britney.

"Ooops!" Britney said blushing, "Melina you got a spare serviette?"

"I got it," Shawn said and gently turned Britney's head back towards him and wiped the red sauce off her mouth careful not to smudge her glossy pink lipstick. Lita chuckled as Hunter watched in a jealous rage and Britney smiled bashfully and said thank you to Shawn Michaels.

"Your father is such a gentleman Cameron," she told Shawn's firstborn son who was hugging CarlaBcool affectionately.

"Well you know what they say, like son, like father," he quipped.

"That's enough lil' man, go do your homework," Shawn said and Cameron got mad.

"Its almost Saturday and I can't say my timetables any faster!" he protested.

"9 x 8?" Shawn asked him suddenly.

"72," Cameron replied.

"7 x7?" Shawn asked him again.

"49," Cameron answered.

"2 x 2?" Shawn asked him.

"7!" Hunter replied and the WWE Superstars looked at him like he just confessed to killing the President.

"The answer is 4," Shawn said and everybody started laughing at The Game.

"So what, big deal? I got too much stuff on my mind to be worrying about what numbers add up right, my best friend is about to leave his wife and nobody seems to give a damn!" Hunter said outraged.

"Hunter calm down," Stephanie admonished him.

"NO!" he roared back and Stephanie gave him a warning glare.

"What did you just say to me?" she asked him and LC drew a big 'N' and a big 'O' on the otherside of Cheyenne's puzzle and held it up to Stephanie's face.

"N - O, this spells the word 'NO' as in NO way is that the only dress you've got but you've worn it at least 3 times this week, what do you think Vince is paying you for? To look like a tramp? That's Becky's job!" LC said and Vicky Guerrero covered her mouth in shock.

"Who are you little girl and where do you get off taking to Mrs. McMahon-"

"Uh-hum," Stephanie interjected abruptly, "It's Mrs. Helmsley now,"

LC turned to Hunter in amazement, "Oh you have got to be kidding me, you gave her your name, you really don't know what 2 x 2 is do you? How could you make a McMahon a Helmsley?" LC asked him incredulously.

"LC you may not realize this but Triple H is my husband, you are just another crazy DX fan who thinks she knows more about Shawn, Hunter, Nash and Hall and XPac then they do. Get help, you're delusional," Stephanie said.

"Lose weight and wear that dress right!" LC snapped back and Cryme Tyme gave her a hi-five.

"This girl is bad, where did you hook up with these guys LC?" Shad asked the lil' miss.

"It's a long story," Charlotte said, "But ask Lita she knows, don't you Mrs. Copeland?" Charlotte said smiling at the soon-to-be-married couple.

"Oh you know Shad; the voodoo dolls, the pre-Christmas party, LC prayed for me to give Charlotte a daughter and she got Carla who is one of LC's best friends along with Cassidy and Charlene," Lita said resting against Edge's chest.

"It was a miracle," Charlotte said kissing Carla on the head affectionately.

"And it would be a miracle if I ever get through this conversation without being interrupted!" Hunter snapped thumping his fist on the table sending a ketchup-smothered portion of fries up into the air and onto Kevin Nash's face.

"Hey Big Sexy, what are you doing here? We just sent Alex and Austin packing, you wanna fly first class or are you okay with just a economy sized ass-whooping?" Hunter said getting up and LC picked up Aurora from out of her bassinette. Stephanie pulled LC to once side angrily.

"Hey put her down, she's not a doll she's a baby she needs rest!" Stephanie snapped.

"No she needs to wake up and help her father kick some Big Sexy ass, right Rosey?" LC said rubbing her nose against Aurora's who laughed merrily amused by LC's playfulness.

"LC I mean it put her down!" Stephanie ordered the little girl.

"Man it's getting a little cold in here," Tamara said coming over to Stephanie, "Hey S.M what's shaking?"

"Tammy oh my God how long has it been girl you look great!" Stephanie said pushing LC away and bringing Aurora Rose over to her girlfriend to see. LC rubbed where Stephanie had shoved her and Charlotte was about to say something to Stephanie when Hunter stepped in between Tamara and Stephanie angrily.

"Stop gossiping about how long its been since we've all seen each other! Shawn's marriage is about to fall apart and your husband is responsible for it!" he yelled at Tammy who switched on him instantly.

"You got some nerve putting Rebecca's ho tendancies on me; I didn't drop her panties, I didn't get infatuated with a gorgeous WWE Diva and I certainly didn't give up my life so that my husband could be a successful wrestler!" Tamara snapped.

Lita got to her feet and Edge tried to get her to sit back down but the heat coming from her body told him to back down.

"Excuse me Tamara Nash, we've never met but I'm sure you think you know all about me right? I'm Amy Dumas aka Lita aka Anointed Amy and I would like you to hear exactly what's going on between Shawn and I . . . NOTHING!" Lita roared and both Hunter and Tamara stood back as the former Women's Champion got hot, very hot with rage, "Hunter if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times to stay out of this, no-one knows what's going on here except me, Trish and Melina, if you want to blame somebody blame God, He's the one behind all this I'm just following orders!"

Tamara collected herself and looked over at Shawn who was not even looking their way, he was fed up with everything, especially his wife.

"Okay, I'm sorry Amy I got all the information about you from Shawn he told me you were Anointed and after standing in your presence I know now he's not crazy after all: I can feel the Holy Spirit just standing here. I gave up on my marriage 7 years ago and it was just that time that Shawn and Rebecca got together and my husband made that happen. It was a mistake wasn't it? Lita you gotta tell everyone so we all know what's going on right now, it was a mistake right? I am not Kevin's true love, Becky is ain't that the truth?"

Lita cooled off and looked over at Rebecca, the bitter, twisted hate on her face told the story; she knew too that Tamara was not gonna like what she had to say and since she wasn't obliged by God to tell the Truth she held her tongue and used another tactic to appease Kevin Nash's wife.

"No you are Kevin's true love Tamara; you are the mother of his only child and his wife of 20 years, he'll never love another woman the way he loves you," she said and Tamara looked at her in disbelief.

"So then I just need to hang in there right? All this cheating on me and being emotionally unavailable and comparing me to other women, that's just the rough that comes with the smmoth; the love making, the family vacations, etc. But it will all work out for the better because I said "For better or for worse" and I meant every word! It's all part of God's plan!" she realized and Lita nodded and Tamara danced around relieved, "Oh praise God, thank you Anointed Amy I didn't wanna have to go back out there as a divorcee, no offence Britney but at my age, its no picnic finding a man to love you and your child,"

"Why don't you tell her the Truth Lita?" Rebecca said getting back up on her crutches and coming over to the Anointed One.

"Becky please sit down," Shawn asked his wife.

"I'm not through with you either Sexy Boy but first I want Lita tot tell Tammy what's gonna happen later on tonight," Rebecca said malevolently to Lita who shook her head in despair.

"I'm under no obligation to tell her anything other than what will make her feel good, I'm not Trish, I do care about hurting people's feelings," Lita answered.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa, wait a second now, Lita I can take it, whatever it is I can handle it okay I've been through it all with Kevin, what else could he possibly do to hurt me any further?" Tamara argued and Lita took a deep breath before answering.

"Tonight Rebecca will be signed to TNA by Jeff Jarrett and next week on Impact she will debut as Whisper "Queen of the Mountain" and be part of the group of Nash, Hall and Jarrett known as the Kings of Wrestling. Her affair with Nash will be the centre point of the feud between WWE and TNA, once you sign on of course and for Shawn's sake I hope you do he's gonna need all the support he can get. Jarrett's gonna use every dirty trick he can to take down the Fed starting with Rebecca, who unfortunately has every intention of trashing her husband on Spike TV. Tammy you may stick by your husband but he sure as Hell ain't worth sticking by, I'm sorry but this thing between Rebecca and Kevin is far from over,"

"I see," Tamara said sadly, "Do you know who my eternal soul mate is because I need to find him and move on with my life too!"

"Tammy!" Hunter cried out as Tamara struck Rebecca hard across the face.

"Did that hurt Rebecca? Well get used to it you whore because I'm gonna tell Gail, Christy and all the other TNA Knockouts exactly what to expect from you, good riddens to both of you - Vince sign me up man, I won't let you go down to TNA sign me up!"

"The contract will be ready tomorrow morning, you can sign it at my place I'm throwing an engagement party for Edge and Lita," Vince McMahon informed her.

"Good luck to the both of you," Tamara said and Lita got a sick feeling in her stomach as the angry woman stormed to the ladies bathroom with Stephanie McMahon.

"Lita honey, you okay?" Shawn asked coming over to her. She looked up at him, seeing herself in his blue-grey eyes and felt better right away.

"Yeah I'll be fine," she smiled warmly and he gave her shoulders a squeeze.

"At a girl, you guys ready for your big day?" he asked both Lita and Edge.

"We still haven't told the fans about the wedding," Edge replied holding Lita's hand while Shawn rubbed her back, Britney looked on curiously drinking her milkshake wondering who this bald headed woman was that she had two studs fawning over her. Jeff Hardy slipped into Shawn's seat and joined her.

"That's your competition," Jeff told her with a cheeky smile, "Good luck with HBK, you're gonna need it,"

Britney frowned at the rainbow haired Southern boy and wondered if she okay hanging with the WWE Superstars after her husband stole her thunder back in January. The other Hardy, Matt slipped into Shawn's seat now and put his arm around her.

"There's nothing wrong with a little competition now is there?" he told her and she nodded.

"Nothing wrong at all," she said her Southern accent coming out and Matt gave her a kiss on the cheek and disappeared over to sit with his brother. The Hardyz winked at Britney Spears as she rose from her side of the booth and sauntered over to Shawn, Edge and Lita.

"My-my aren't you the centre of attention," she said to Lita, "Why don't we give you and your fiance some time to discuss the wedding, I sure hope I'm invited," Britney said to Lita who was very amused by her guts interrupting a conversation between three of the biggest WWE Superstars of all time.

"Sure thing honey, would you mind singing at our wedding?" Lita asked and Edge spat up his diet coke all over Hunter's t shirt; he wanted AlterBridge to sing at their wedding.

"Ha-ha now you know how it feels!" Edge laughed and Hunter pulled him by the legs and tackled him in front of the customers who cheered him on.

"Lita I thought you'd never ask, how about 'I Was Born To Make You Happy'?" Britney suggested looking Shawn straight in the eyes and he couldn't help but feel good about that idea.

"Well no since actually,_ I_ was born to make Shawn happy," Lita replied and Melina, Krystal and Torrie laughed as Britney's face fell.

"Nice," Cryme Tyme added imperssed with Lita's comeback.

"It's getting a little crowded in here guys, let's go back to Rocky's house," Vince said noticing the manager getting a little concerned about the wrestling match Edge and Hunter were having in front of the customers, "Oh yes before I forget, Lita this came for you,"

Vince hadn't Lita a letter, it was from Georgia.

"I wonder who this is from?" she thought.

"Why don't you read it later, get Edge outta here before I start charging for this," Vince told the Anointed One.

"Yes sir - ouch!" Lita said holding her head as God gave her a migraine for not asking Him for permission to use her powers, "Sorry my bad, can I heat things up?" she asked God and Britney looked up wondering who she was talking to.

"Whoa its hot in here," she said fanning herself down.

"Come on Rocky's got a pool," Matt Hardy said escorting Britney out while Jeff took her son Sean to the car.

"What are they up to?" Lita wondered as the Hardyz made no apology for sucking up to Britney Spears, "And who could have sent this?" she said looking at the handwriting closely starting to recognize it as the WWE Superstars made their way back to the People's Crib to get ready for the most anticipated RAW in months.


	8. LoveFuryEnergyPassion II

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, Stephanie McMahon, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Seven - LoveFuryEnergyPassion II: Team Xtreme Makeover

Miami, FL, The People's House:

Jericho peered through the window as several SUVs and Vince McMahon's limo pulled up in The Rock's driveway. He could see with his good eye: his left eye was still missing. Sometimes he was certain that if he tried hard enough he could bear to look in the mirror with his sparkly purple eye patch off but he couldn't; it made him too mad and the first thing that came to his mind was killing Hunter. He couldn't explain their mutual hatred which was becoming mutually assured destruction. Stephanie Marie was the reason they couldn't get along and his good friend Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson knew that, he also knew that something had to be done before it was too late.

"I spy with my perfect eye, something beginning with J?" Hunter said coming up to the People's Doorstep.

"Hunter please don't start," Stephanie said with a sigh seeing Jericho gazing at her from inside Rocky's house.

"Don't worry Hunter I'm on it," LC said and picked up a rock and threw it at the window.

"LC will you behave yourself?" Charlotte admonished her little sister, "That the People's Window!"

"What its not like I threw it at his head or anything," LC said and Hunter crouched down to her.

"Next time aim for his head," he told LC and she nodded that she wouldn't miss. Charlotte frowned at the Cerebral Assassin as Jericho greeted them at the doorway wondering who that little Hellraiser was in the army green mini skirt, big black boots with the grey high knee socks over the top, she looked like a Helmsley; her hair was honey blond and her eyes were copper brown and she had a mean look in them, she must have been a relative.

"I should have been the one you married Princess," he said to himself as Hunter, Stephanie and Aurora came into The People's House, "The only person Hunter loves is himself, not you,"

"Christopher move out of the People's Doorway, don't make me put the smacketh down on your candy ass!" The Rock said as Super Crazy opened the door to let the party guests back into Rocky's massive house, "You know you don't have to do that Crazy," The Rock told the Mexican lucador.

"Si?" Crazy replied and The Rock rolled his eyes and rubbed Super Crazy's head playfully.

"Damn you coulda told me you had all that grease in your hair chico? I got more oil on me than Chris Masters!" The Rock complained wiping his hand off on Crazy's t shirt.

"Si?" Crazy said confused.

"Get outta here before I lay the smaketh down on you!" The Rock said, "Trish tell Jericho to behave himself, he and Stephanie ain't never EVER gonna happen!" he quipped.

"Ha-ha very funny," Jericho said applauding him sarcastically, "Oh my God its Britney Spears . . . " he said in shock.

"Where? Oh yeah she's late, Britney I thought you said you were out of town?" Rocky said apporaching the celebrity mom, "Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, what in the blue Hell are you doing?" Rocky asked Jericho who was connecting his iPod to the People's Sound System.

"Playing a demo of Fozzy's new album for Ms. Spears, you'd sound great on back up vocals, check it out," Jericho said enthusiastically and was about to press play when The Rock smacked the iPod out of his hand.

"Hey I paid $300 for that!" Jericho complained.

"No you didn't Psycho Psyclops I bought it for you last Christmas!" Rocky replied and Jericho picked it up off the hardwood floor.

"Its broken, do you have any idea how many songs I downloaded onto this thing?" Jericho complained.

"As long as I don't have to hear anything by Fozzy it's all good in the hood right Shad and JTG?" The Rock said holding his hand up for a hi five.

"No I like Fozzy," Shad said and JTG turned to him in shock, "What? Somebody's gotta buy their music, oh wait did I say buy? I meant listen to for free!"

"You had me going for a second there dog!" Shad said pulling JTG into a hug, "Shawn what do you think of Fozzy?"

HBK was still trying to get his wife into the house, she was holding onto the door handle refusing to be moved.

"Hang on Shad I'll be right there, come on Becky you're not going to TNA!" he said pulling her by her waist.

"Shawn just give it up," Torrie Wilson said, "She's a ho, you can do better,"

Shawn turned sharply to the 2 time Playboy cover girl startling her a little, "Do you feel that way about Billy Kidman's new wife? No you don't because he doesn't have one, he's still single, he can't move on because he's still in love with the only woman he's ever loved and that's how I feel about Rebecca!"

"But she's a bitch! She even tried to break your knee in two with Jeff Jarrett's guitar, she had sex with your best man - a number of times while his wife was out of town. Shawn you didn't marry the right woman, move on before its too late!" Torrie told him passionately and everyone stared at her surprised by her outburst, "I'm gonna get in the People's Shower," she said and hurried away up the People's Staircase. Shawn watched her flee and he looked at the other Divas that were looking at him pathetically.

"Do you all feel that way about Rebecca? You think she's a whore and I can do better?" he asked Krystal, Ashley, Queen Sharmell, Victoria, Mickie James and Layla. King Bookah gave his wife a nod and she ushered the Smackdown Divas away from HBK while the King spoke to him.

"Sir Michaels, I've known Sir Nash and Lady Nash for a long, long time and I can honestly say having spoken to both Tamara and Sharmell on many, many occasions over the years about you and your wife Rebecca, that she is not what she appears to be," King Bookah said.

"Booker please, drop the accent and talk to me in your mother tongue," Shawn said annoyed.

"Wake up sucka yo wife's a ho!" Bookah yelled and the Smackdown Kingdom agreed and Shawn looked at them all in shock.

"Calm down Bookah, go polish your crown, careful you don't want any of Super Crazy's hair gel to get on that robe," Hunter told the former World Heavyweight Champion, "Shawn?"

"Yes I know they aren't in the Kliq they don't know shit," Shawn sighed he was fed up of hearing Hunter try to calm him down, Rebecca refused to listen to a word he said about him and Lita, plus she was still going to TNA, what else could he do to get through to her?

"Shawn you can't give up, she's not herself and ATM are going to get to the bottom of it before the day is through, come on Mel grab her legs," Lita said pulling Rebecca away from the SUV and taking her to the People's Bedroom with Melina holding her by the legs.

"Put me down, Shawn get these bitches off of me!" Rebecca said struggling against them.

"Trish will you get up here we need you!" Lita called over to her blond sister in Christ.

"Can't talk - busy, she's possessed, perform an exorcism and you'll get your wife back," The Truth replied, she was trying to cornrow Carlito's afro and the cool one was wincing in pain, he forgot just how much hair was up there and Trish was going all around using MVP as her guide.

"Possessed? Of course it all makes sense, Lita, Melina wait up!" Shawn said.

"We're coming with you Daddy," Cameron said carrying his little sister in his arms but Shawn shook his head firmly against the idea.

"I'm sorry lil' man but this is not for children, stay here with Hunter and don't worry, Mommy will be back very soon!" he said and kissed his son and daughter on the head before whipping up the stairs after Anointed Amy and Melina the Miraculous.

"Wait a minute something screwy here, if Rebecca's just possessed . . . " Nitro wondered.

"_Just _possessed? I was possessed there's nothing just about it assclown," Jericho said sarcastically and Stephanie laughed, she loved it when he said that.

"Okay I am so glad you're not on RAW right now," Nitro retorted, "If Rebecca is possessed, does that mean everything about Lita and Shawn being eternal soul mates isn't true?"

"No it's true, Lita and Shawn will be together forever in Heaven," Trish assured him.

"So what happens when Mel and Amy exorcises the demon? Will she be cool with it now?" Shelton asked.

"Look do you guys always have to know what's gonna happen? Can't you just wait and see?" Trish complained.

"Out with it Stratus, before I tell Carlito your favorite part of my body," The Rock taunted her and she screeched.

"What?" Carlito said turning around to him angrily and Trish turned his head back in irritation.

"Well I can't tell you now anyway, Rocky got me so mad I lost my Truth-telling abilities, you'll just have to see what happens guys, I have to ask God for my powers back," Trish said focusing her attention back on her boyfriend's hair while praying to God to forgive her for allowing The Rock to destract her from her calling yet again.

"Nice one Rocky," Jericho said agitated.

"Yeah People's Ass," Hunter added.

"Was anyone asking you for your opinion Hunter? Its not like you actually care what happens to Shawn or Rebecca, you just want him to stay married so you don't have to admit how much you'd rather be a bachelor than a husband," Jericho said and Stephanie sank her head into her hands.

"I am so sick and tired of your contempt for my marriage Jericho, when are you going to accept that Hunter loves me?" Stephanie said angrily.

"Never, because he doesn't love you, I told you he only loves himself," Jericho replied.

"If that were true he wouldn't have put the WWE in jeopardy by going to TNA's Impact tapings earlier this week to try and get Vince to change his mind about disowning me and Aurora," Stepahanie countered.

"Newsflash Princess: he didn't do that for you!" Jericho cried back his face red with defiance. Stephanie looked at Trish who focused all her attention on corning another row of Carlito's afro.

"Then who did he do it for?" Stephanie asked Jericho who shrugged nonchalantly.

"He did it for himself," Jericho answered and Hunter got mad and looked down at his lil apprentice.

"Now LC!" he instructed the lil assassin-in-training who took the rock she got from outside and shot it straight at Jericho, hitting him right in the middle of the forehead.

"Ouch!" Jericho cried, "What sesspool did you fester in?"

Charlotte slapped LC on the butt, "Bad LC, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing, I was just following orders Char," she told her sister innocently.

"Following orders? Who's your family, me or Hunter Hurst Helmsley?" Charlotte said.

"Actually, the latter would be the right answer Charlotte, eventually you'll see there's more to LC's affinity for the Helmsleys then meets the eye - oops! Sorry Jericho," Trish said not looking away from Carlito's hair but she got everyone's attention.

"What are you talking about Trish?" Carla asked curiously.

"Jericho!" Stephanie yelled suddenly and everyone turned their attention back to the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla who was crouched over in pain as the place where LC's struck him opened up into a huge gash. The Rock stared in disbelief as what looked like an eye appeared in the middle of Jericho's forehead.

"What the Hell?" Cryme Tyme said at the same time.

"Is that an eye?" Carla said nervously clinging to Cameron as Jericho stood to his feet and blinked from the middle of his forehead.

"Yes it is! Demon, demon!" Victoria cried and all the Divas screamed running out of the house while Stephanie went to get Lita.

"Lita Jericho's possessed again, get down here quick!" she yelled up the stairs.

"He's not possessed, he's got two eyes like everyone else in this room," Trish said calmly.

"But its in the middle of his forehead, it came out of nowhere!" Nitro yelled in shock.

"No it came from Hunter's curse, he did it when he cost Jericho his left eye. LC being innocent and baptised in the church reversed the curse hence Jericho gets his eye back - simple," Trish explained.

"But its in the middle of his forehead!" Stephanie said coming over to her, "Will you stop doing your boyfriend's hair and pay attention to what's going on here!" Stephanie said putting her hand down on Trish's fast moving hand. The Truth sighed and looked up at her reluctantly.

"He has two eyes okay? The one he lost will grow back when you get your revelation about Hunter, until then he will have a third eye in the middle of his forehead, which will disappear after the revelation. What he uses it for in the mean-time is completely up to him," Trish said plainly, "Now leave me and Carlito alone, you're bad luck,"

"Wait a minute, what can the eye do apart from blink?" Hunter asked Trish as Rocky inspected the eye carefully.

"My God," he said in horror as it blinked like a normal eye, "This isn't real, he's got God damn third eye Trish what's this got to do with Stephanie and Hunter?"

"Please don't take the Lord's name in vain and I can't tell you that until Stephanie gets her revelation Brahma queen," she said and pointed her comb at Hunter with a warning glance, "But know this Hunter, those feelings you're trying so hard to suppress about Shawn? Jericho knows all about it, if I were you, I'd be real nice to him, take it from me you don't want that Truth to get out,"

Trish turned back to Carlito's hair while Jericho touched his new eye. It was just like his old one except a little north of the brow. He moved his hair over it and blinked it scaring everyone around him including The Rock. He smiled darkly at Hunter who stood back as he came closer.

"Well you know it says in the Bible an eye for and eye, I can see now why they call it the Good Book, ha!" he pulled Hunter closer and whispered into his ear, "You mess with me and I'm gonna tell Shawn your dirty little secret,"

Hunter gulped and Stephanie came over to him and asked him what was wrong. LC stepped on Jericho's foot and Aurora shook her rattle and it started to hail in The Rock's house.

"My pastel Cuban color scheme is ruined!" Rocky cried as the expensive paper started to peel.

"Jericho get out of here!" Stephanie cried as Aurora continued to rain down hail faster and faster.

"Okay, goodbye Princess, at least for now," Jericho said caressing her cheek adoringly before making a run for his jeep and taking off for the airport. As he rode away Aurora stopped shaking her rattle and went back to sleep in LC arms.

"Good job little sister," LC said and kissed her forehead and Charlotte looked at Carla who was wondering just how close were Hunter and LC? They would have to wait a bit longer to find out as The Truth was more interested in doing Carlito's hair then explaining how an eye appeared out of nowhere after LC threw a rock at Chris Jericho's head by order of The Game.

"Alright now you wanna cut through the middle in kind of a Z shape," MVP told her, "Like mine you see how it zigzags? Just like that,"

"Carlito don't want to look like you culo, just make sure it looks . . . cool, okay mama?" Carlito told Trish kicking MVP away from her.

"Okay papi." Trish replied fondly, she loved being unemployed apart from working on reality TV, being with Carlito was the most fun she'd ever had in the past year. She loved him so much and he still didn't know how much because of her previous relationships. Rocky, Jericho, Christian, she was such a player, now she couldn't wait to settle down with a family of little chicos or chicanas but that wasn't God's plan for her just yet, it was however God's plan for a younger couple of lovers.

"Cena, come here amigo, I need to tell you something,"

The despondent Champ came over to Trish Stratus barely lifting his head which was wracked with guilt over accidentally aborting Maria's first child, "What?" he said gloomily and Trish stopped doing Carlito's hair and looked him dead in they eye and said.

"Joe's gonna kill you,"

Just Samoa Joe and LAX pulled Cena out of The People's House, down the People's Driveway and put him into the trunk of Konnan's lowrider driving off down the road.

"Randy!" Trish called out to the pool where the former Legend Killer was showing the Divas pictures of all the missing children he'd found today.

"What's up?" he said coming over to his Commander-In-Truth.

"Showtime," she said and Randy nodded taking the picture he found of Maria and CM Punk from his back pocket and driving after LAX and Samoa Joe to show them why all wasn't lost; there was still hope for Maria, Punk and their first born child.

Upstairs in the People's Bedroom:

_Amy,_

_I really tried but he won't listen. He keeps making excuses like why didn't you tell him about it sooner and he's way too busy now. I'm sorry Amy but I don't think your father's going to give you away at your wedding. Call me when you get home sweetie, I love you._

_Mom_

The letter ended and Lita closed her eyes and sighed. She knew asking her father to give her away was an emotional risk bust she thought he'd understand that this was a special occasion and drop all his animosity towards her, she was wrong if anything the knowledge that she was getting married made him more hostile. _So that's it then_ she thought, _the question of whether my father loves me has been answered. _She felt the temptation to cry but instead she tossed the letter away like it was trash and turned her attention back to the situation at hand. Melina was just about to read from the Bible when HBK stopped her.

"No, I got this darling," he said sweetly.

"Are you sure?" Melina asked him and he looked at his wife who was almost foaming at the mouth.

"Yeah I'm sure," he replied and Lita pulled Melina away from the bed while HBK exorcised his wife's demon.

"Jesus gave his disciples power over all demons, I too am a disciple of Christ and I order you to come out now!" Shawn shouted and jumped on his wife and shook her violently and she screamed like a wild animal and something demonic came over her face. Shawn recognized it, so did Lita, Melina gaped at the demonic spirit that attached itself to Rebecca's Chimallis necklace exited her body leaving her calm and peaceful underneath her husband. Melina went to work immediately and healed all the bruises and scratches all over her body, before they could say "Praise the Lord!" Rebecca was back to normal.

"Praise the Lord my wife is free!" Shawn said picking up his wife from off of the bed and holding her warmly in his arms, "Lita look she's back to normal!" Shawn said turning his attention to the unusually quiet diva, "Lita come on celebrate with me, I got my family back at last, why aren't you smiling?"

"I can't celebrate an empty victory," Lita said soberly.

"What?" Shawn said confused, "But the demon left, I exorcised it,"

"Yes but you didn't destroy it and it will come back because your wife is still mad at me, mad at us," Lita explained coming over to Shawn trying to forget about the letter from her mother about her father, "That day I saved your wife's life she became my friend and when it comes to love Shawn, there is no such thing as friendship. She hates me because of something that God gave me; the power to save people from death and to clense souls and I saved yours, something for the past 7 years she has tried and failed to do,"

"No she didn't fail, she made me the man I am today, she broght me back to God with her tender loving care she never gave up on me ever!" Shawn said with tears burning the back of her eyes and Lita wiped the tears away.

"You're the one who saved her, from poverty, from obscurity and living a dull life without any excitement. After WCW there was nothing for her to do except try to land a rich husband and thanks to Kevin Nash, she succeeded. The cost of losing you to the road over 200 days a year was too much to handle, instead of living an exciting life of glamor and celebrity, she became the ideal Christian housewife - something she never, ever wanted to be but that's what she became when you came back to the WWE. Now you're at the top of your game and she finds out you've been looking at other women's breasts if only for a minute Shawn that was all she needed to get out of her marriage. When Rebecca wakes up, she's gonna tell you she's sorry, but guess what? She's still going to TNA to be part of the Kings of Wrestling, you can't possibly think she wants to go there to be part of the new Women's Division do you?"

Shawn wept bitterly and Melina rubbed his shoulders sympathetically.

"She's going to have sex with Nash there, that's all," Lita said and held out her arms, "Give her to me Shawn,"

"What are you going to do?" Shawn asked her tearfully.

"I'm going to try something; I'm gonna pray for God to change her mind now I don't normally do this unless a person's possessed but, because I know how much you love her, I'm going to ask God to have mercy on her," Lita explained.

"Lita please persuade God to change His Mind," Shawn asked her in desperation.

Lita nodded and Shawn handed Rebecca to her carefully and she sat on the People's Bed and closed her eyes.

"Put me down," Rebecca said suddenly and Lita opened her eyes and looked down at the freshly healed wife of Shawn Michaels.

"Becky please, she's trying to help you," Shawn pleaded with her.

"I don't need anybody to help me, especially her now unless you want to fight me I suggest you put me down right now," she said her eyes snapping open and Shawn latched onto Lita like a parasite.

"Ignore her just do it!" he commanded but Lita shook her head.

"I can't she's right she's made up her mind," Lita protested.

"No she's crazy, she's lost her mind Lita!" Shawn argued.

"If you keep on pushing her to change her mind, you're gonna lose yours," Lita replied and Shawn lowered his head into his arms and wrapped his arms around his wife.

"Becky why are you doing this to me? I love you I can't help it please don't leave me please?" he begged her and Melina left the room it was too much, she couldn't stand to see Shawn in so much pain.

"Get over it, go on get away from me Shawn!" she said slapping her husband away from her and getting out of Lita's grip, "Now you will know how it feels to watch your other half from thousands of miles away. I'll see you after the show we can talk about this after I've signed my contract with TNA,"

Rebecca strutted out of the room after checking her face in the mirror, liking what she saw she disappeared out of the People's Room and out of Shawn's life. Lita hugged HBK as he cried into her chest like a baby that had been abandoned by its mother.

"Shawn?" came the sweet voice of Britney Spears who had just come out of the pool and wanted to check on him while her son played with his children and their friends, "Oh my God what happened?"

Lita waved her over and gently moved Shawn into her wet arms.

"Oh poor baby," she said and Shawn's eyes shot open as she kissed him on the mouth. Her wet lips tasted like butterscotch, no doubt from the desert treat lip gloss she was wearing and it gave Shawn an appetite for butterscotch ice cream, one of his favorite deserts and somehow, he figured Britney already knew that. She smiled into his mouth and kissed him again and pressed her body closer to his.

"You know, I just got out of the pool and I'm all hot and sweaty, I was thinking of taking a shower, would you like to join me?" she asked innocently and Shawn nearly gagged.

"Um, you mean like now?" Shawn asked and Lita got up and knocked on the People's Bathroom Door, "Torrie you done in there?"

The door opened and Torrie Wilson came out wearing nothing but a towel and a sweet smile, "Shawn I can't get the shower head to work, do you think you could fix it for me?"

HBK stared at the steamy blond to his right and the steamy blond to his left and finally looked at Lita who shrugged casually and said, "Shawn, welcome to batchelorhood,"

Shawn smiled and wrapped a big towel around Britney, then he walked over to Torrie Wilson and kissed her on the hand before heading towards the People's Exit, "Sorry ladies, but I'm not ready,"

"Shawn we understand, we were just testing you, to see if you would cheat on your wife if the oopportunity arose, and you wouldn't just like you said, Rebecca's a fool for leaving you," Torrie Wilson said.

"Totally, I mean its not like you and Lita are a couple on Earth," Britney said coming over to the Showstoppa, "You're a really cool guy who doesn't wanna sleep with everything that walks, what more could a woman ask for?"

Shawn looked down at Britney's curvaceous body; unlike Torrie her body had the signs of childbirth, her hips were round and wide, like an hourglass made of his favorite desert and her stomach was very feminine, it wasn't muscular like Wilson's and he could see himself making love to her over and over again, in several positions, from the front, to the back, upside down, on the ground - _knock it off you're still married!_ Shawn admonished himself,_ its the butterscotch lip gloss talking_, that was the clincher for the sweet toothed Showstoppa.

"Britney honey, I will agree to see you again if you promise me one thing," he told the young mother.

"What?" she asked laughing as Torrie Wilson threw a temper tantrum over by the People's Shower.

"Always wear that butterscotch lip gloss, it makes me want to eat you up with a spoon," Shawn said cheekily with a seductive smile.

"Easy on the sex talk Shawn, I guarantee you Paparazzi Productions are around here somewehere," Lita said, "Torrie you done with the People's Shower? I need to wash some bad thoughts out of my hair,"

Torrie looked up at Lita's bald head and furrowed her brow, "Um sweetie, you don't have any hair,"

Lita sighed, "Can I borrow some of yours? I don't think I should leave the fans who've known me as a fiery red-head my whole career looking like this,"

Torrie took her hand and smiled at her warmly, "I'm sure they'll be able to help you,"

Lita frowned, "Huh?"

Torrie pointed to the People's Bedroom Door where Matt and Jeff Hardy were standing applauding HBK for some reason.

"We came just in time to give you, Shawn and Britney a new look for Friday Night RAW!" Jeff said holding up a pair of scissors while Matt juggled several bottles of hair dye.

"I'm out," Torrie said disappearing into the next room.

"My hair's fine the way it is," Britney said following Torrie Wilson into the next joining bedroom, "Just like you Shawn Michaels, don't ever change, you're perfect just the way you are," she blew HBK a kiss which he put in his pocket much to the delight of the Hardy Boyz who smiled deviously at each other.

"Looks like wifey's out of the picture," Jeff whispered to his brother.

"Good then there's just one more to go," Matt replied and then turned his attention to the two confused individuals wondering what they were doing with all those accessories in their hands, "Lita you're gonna look xtremely cool for your last RAW match and Shawn, we got something special for you on your first night as the soon-to-be-single HBK," Matt said enthusiastically and Shawn and Lita noticed the extra clothes he had with him and the couple still known as Shavonne and Latoya to the residents of Kingston, Jamaica looked at each other thinking the same thing:

"Team Xtreme Makeover!" they said striking the Team Xtreme pose while Matt and Jeff took the 'before' picture then went straight to work on Shawn Michaels and Amy Dumas before they took the 'after'.

"Shawn, there's something I have to tell you . . . " Hunter said coming into the People's Bedroom an hour later and fell silent at the sight before him. His best friend HBK now had black hair which blue underneath the top layer, he had studs up and down his ears and a silver Jesus choker around his neck. He was wearing a black dress shirt open slightly so Jesus wouldn't suffocate, and tight blue low cut jeans that flared out over his Doc Martens which had thick metallic blue laces and had DX sprayed all over them - in blue not the trademark flourescent green DX were known for. Lita was back to the fiery red hed with the thong showing but she wore a black bandana over the wig so it didn't look like a wig. She was back to the green fishnet top over her black tank showing off her mid drift and wearing her trademark baggy combat pants and several bangles and braclets over her wrists and neck, but there was one piece of jewelry that caught Hunter's eye more than any other: the Chimallis choker Shawn and his family had given Lita as a thank you for saving Rebecca's life.

"Becky's gonna freak when she sees that," Hunter told the red head and she stepped towards him while Matt and Jeff made some final adjustments to HBK's hair which was still wet.

"Well then that's one more thing you and Shawn's wife have in common: you're both going down tonight," Lita replied with a cheeky smile.

"Lita I don't think that thong is appropriate Shawn complained as Jeff combed out his hair so you could see the metallic blue cleary underneath the black. He wanted to add massacra but HBK said he didn't want to look like Raven or any member of Seratonin for that matter whose ass he still had to kick for offering him those drugs earlier this week, "Maybe you should take it off and wear something less slutty,"

"Hunter what are you doing?" Lita said as the Cerebral Assassin started unbuttoning her pants.

"You heard the man, take 'em off!" he cried pulling at the hem of her thong out even more. Shawn escorted him out of the People's Bedroom, down the People's Staircase and threw him into the People's Pool while Lita hugged Matt and Jeff thanking them for still being her friend who more times than not, she missed very much and would so even more after she became Mrs. Amy Copeland, and she would be very soon, whether she had someone to give her away or not.


	9. LoveFuryEnergyPassion III

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Eight - LoveFuryEnergyPassion III: Unforgettable

RAW Live: Continental Airlines Arena, Miami, FL.

Vince McMahon comes down to the ring and welcomes the fans to RAW's one and only airing on the CW Network on Friday night.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Friday Night RAW! As you know our roster has been through Hell this week. First the WWE roster was struck with a mysterious illness that was undoubtedly orchestrated by TNA," he said and the fans booed TNA heavily, "And Big Sexy Kevin Nash stole Shawn Michaels' wife right out from under him!" The fans chanted 'Slut!' loudly as they had seen the video clips on the internet, now it was confirmed: Shawn's wife had slept with his oldest friend from a rival company and Shawn was devastated, "But that's alright, TNA thought they had my number and I went down to Universal Studios and cut them off! That's right, tonight Live on RAW you will see the induction of Jeff Jarrett into a very special club: the Vince McMahon Kiss My Ass Club!"

The fans laughed as a picture of JJ came up on the titantron with Mr. McMahon's butt in his face.

"Man my ass looks great and Jeff, you better pucker up and kiss it!" Vince said looking into the camera knowing JJ would be watching backstage in the dressing room allocated to him (it was by the utility room near the basement where the roof was leaking). "But back to my show not that third rate promotion that tried to sabotage the WWE right here in Florida, there has been a change in the WWE Championship. As you know John Cena was scheduled to face Triple H at WM23, however due to a situation involving ECW's own CM Punk and our lovely WWE Diva Maria, I have stripped John Cena of the WWE Championship,"

The fans cheered and Vince was very surprised, John Cena wasn't very popular with the Miami crowd, "The WWE Championship is now vacant, but two competitors will face each other here tonight and the winner will become the new WWE Champion. Those two competitors are Jeff Hardy and Shelton Benjamin,"

The fans were shocked that Hardy and Benjamin were getting a WWE Title shot but they loved it and shouted Jeff Hardy's name loudly, Vince waited for them to settle down before continuing, "That match will take place right now, come on down guys!"

The fans waited for Jeff's video to hit the screen but they didn't see anything but a woman doing the splits under the bottom rope of the ring. It was Melina and it was MNM's entrance video that came up and Nitro and Melina came out to a hail of booes from the Miami crowd.

"Vince McMahon Johnny has a bone to pick with you," Melina said when MNM's entrance music stopped.

"How come I ain't in this match for the WWE Championship?" Nitro asked angrily and the fans booed.

"Well, Johnny let's forget for a second that you're wearing a fur coat in 90 degree weather out here in Miami," Vince started and the fans cheered at the mention of their home town, and Nitro's looked down his nose at them, "You're in the Tag Team Turmoil match against London and Kendrick, Cryme Tyme, The World's Greatest Tag Team and the Hardyz at WrestleMania, there's no way you could be the WWE Champion and Tag Team Champion at the same time!"

"What about Jeff and Shelton, they're in tag teams? This isn't fair Vince you're a hater!" Nitro spat vehemently.

"A what?" Vince asked puzzled at the word.

"A 'hater' you know somebody who hates people? For example if I were to introduce my boy K Fed right now, all these people would stand up and start booing at the top of their voices," Nitro said and the fans followed suit and got to their feet and started booing at the idea of seeing K Fed here tonight.

"Oh that's what a hater is," Vince said looking at the angry anti-K Fed fans, "I know what you mean, I hate Triple H, in fact I hate Triple H so much I'm going to put him in a match that may end his career and DX will die! But you'll have to wait for that later on tonight,"

The fans looked at each other wondering what Vince meant: the end of DX? That was never gonna happen as far as they were concerned, the arena was a sea of green and black DX merchandize and many fans were already chanting for DX to come out. Vince ignored them and turned his attention back to Melina and Nitro, "As for you Melina you have a match tonight against the soon-to-be retiring former Women's Champion Lita who will by the way ladies and gentlemen be getting married to Edge for real tomorrow,"

The fans were shocked at that news, the show had just started and already there was a WWE Championship match, possibly Triple H's last match and Lita was leaving the WWE to get married to Edge!

JR: Sounds like one Hell of a show here tonight folks!

"As for you Nitro, you will be teaming up with your boy K Fed against John Cena and this woman . . . "

A woman in a black trench coat and baseball cap came out of the audience and got into the ring with Vince McMahon and Nitro and Melina furrowed their brows at the strange woman wondering who she was. She removed her cap and revealed a thick head of strawberry blond hair and the fans gasped as she removed her coat: it was Britney Spears dressed up in Elvis type jumpsuit that hugged her body and sparkled in the lights. The fans went nuts as the controversial singer stared down the ramp at Nitro and Melina like a cat would before pouncing on its prey.

KING: Oh my God its Britney Spears!

JR: Britney Spears is on RAW, what is K Fed thinking right now?

KING: I bet he's thinking "Why did I call out John Cena back on New Year's Day?" John Cena's obviously got the only thing K Fed can't beat in record sales - his ex-wife Britney Spearsone of the most successful recording artists of all time!

JR: What a night its gonna be here in Miami, Florida! And we've only just started folks, don't go anywhere we'll be right back!

Backstage:

Melina was pacing back and forth getting ready for her match against Lita while Nitro tried to get through to K Fed.

"What do you mean you're not coming? Come on K Fed we gotta go out there and show John Cena he can't mess with us! You're scared? Scared of what? Your ex-wife, you can't be serious man, yeah I know she's got all that baby weight but she must have lost it on the ride over because she looks great in that jumpsuit, I mean she's hot K Fed you blew it man what were you thinking? Hello K Fed? K Fed!"

Nitro slammed down his cell phone, "Dammit K Fed's not coming out of his hotel, he says he's scared Britney's gonna kick his ass and if he hits her in anyway whatsoever, she'll make sure he never sees Sean Preston ever again, what a bitch!"

"Johnny will you stop talking for a second, I got a match with Lita tonight and I am not focusing because of this whole thing with Britney Spears and John Cena. Why is even competing he's not even good enough to be WWE Champion, now Vince is gonna put him against you instead of putting you in that WWE Championship match with Hardy and Benjamin? Vince needs to send his ass to ECW and leave RAW in our capable hands, instead he's gonna have me beat on my girl Lita, I'd rather beat on that glory hound Trish but she's not here anymore, what a shame," Melina said, with everything that was going on Melina would rather hug Lita right now then put her in a headlock but she had no choice; the boss had spoken, "Where is Lita?" she wondered looking around for the red haired Diva when Jonathan Coachman burst into the room with the force of a Miami Hurricane.

"Guys! Big news, John Cena is not here!" he said excitedly.

"What? Where is he?" Nitro asked confused.

"That's the best part, he's going to ECW to face CM Punk for the ECW World Championship against Bobby Lashley!" Coach informed him and Melina and Nitro jumped up and down excitedly.

"So I won't have to face Cena and K Fed won't have to face Britney, things just got a whole lot better I'm a call K Fed and tell him the good news," Nitro said picking his cell phone back up when Coach stopped him from dialling. Nitro looked up confused, "What's up Coach?"

Coach loosened his tie and broke the bad news, "There will be a match with you, K Fed and Britney Spears tonight,"

"But how that gonna work, who's gonna be in Britney's corner?" Melina asked and Coachman took a deep breath before answering.

"Shawn Michaels," he answered and Melina and Nitro went white.

"No!" Nitro yelled and Melina screamed at the top of her lungs causing both Coach and Nitro to cover their ears.

Men's locker room:

Lita was pacing back and forth as well but not for the same reason.

"I'm telling you Edge it's like he saw me coming and then he just turned and walked the other way," she said to her fiancé who was listening intently.

"He did, that's weird," Edge said rubbing his chin.

"It's like . . . well it's like he's trying to avoid me!" Lita said furrowing her brow. Edge came forward and Lita looked up at him.

"Sounds like HBK to me," he said simply and Lita shook her head adamantly.

"No we've been over this, he's got no reason to avoid me, I mean we're friends now, he said he respected what I've done for Women's wrestling in the WWE," Lita reasoned to herself pacing continually.

"Lita," Edge started.

"This doesn't make any sense, he wouldn't just ignore me for no reason, what on Earth is going on here?" Lita said really getting worked up and judging by her flushed red cheeks she was about to lose it completely.

"Lita!" Edge called after her.

"What?" Lita snapped stepping over to him.

"In case you haven't heard Shawn Michaels is known for this sort of thing, he's the Heartbreak Kid, the King of Backstabbing; one minute he's your best friend, the next day he's your worst enemy, you were just another one to fall for his charm," Lita went quiet. Edge was so persuasive; she got hot and started to pound her fist into her hand.

"So, he's avoiding me is he?" she said darkly and Edge nodded.

"He does what he wants, when he wants and he does not want to talk to you right now, so screw him, and go kick some Triple Ass!" Edge prompted her.

"I'm gonna take it all out on him tonight, who knows, this may be the last time you ever have to hear that stupid catch-phrase," she said tuning everything out leaving Edge standing in the locker room with a big smile on his face.

"Poor bastard," he chuckled and turned to see the eyes of Shelton Benjamin glaring back at him, "Hey man I hope you're not upset about me getting you DQ'd in your match tonight against Jeff Hardy," he said defensively.

"Upset?" Shelton said sarcastically, "Why should I be upset, it was only the biggest match of my life! Did you have to run in and hit Jeff Hardy with the steel chair? You took away my dream of becoming WWE Champion Edge! Now RAW doesn't even have a WWE Champion!"

"Shelton listen, Jeff and Matt Hardy are up to something and I know it's got something to do with me and Lita getting married, I sent them a message okay? You'll get another opportunity don't worry, I'm a help a brotha out," Edge reassured him putting his hand on Shelton sweaty shoulder but the athletic track star knocked it away angrily.

"You know what I'm gonna do if you don't get out of here right now?" Shelton warned him and Edge was taken aback by Shelton's violent tone.

"What?" he asked innocently and Shelton went to strike him when Randy Orton came in and stood between them while Carlito and Nitro held Shelton back.

"Whoa-whoa, pump the brakes bro!" Randy said to Shelton.

"I didn't even do anything!" Edge said still playing innocent.

"You screwed me Edge, you screwed me!" Shelton cried out in a rage.

"Well the truth finally comes out, you go tell Lita the truth Edge before it's too late!" Hunter said coming into the locker room to see what all the noise was about. Edge scowled at him and pulled his hair behind his ears in annoyance.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready to be humiliated in front of thousands of MIAs?" he said and Hunter smirked.

"Getting pounded by Lita for twenty whole minutes - I couldn't be more excited if I had Britney Spears for the night," he thought dreamily; he was looking forward to this intergender match with one of the most controversial women in WWE history, "Think fast," he said and threw his water bottle at Edge who ducked and turned to gloat when Shelton Benjamin dragon whipped the bottle into Edge's face bursting it open and drenching Edge from head to toe. Hunter, Carlito, Randy and Nitro laughed.

"Don't worry Edge, Hunter's about to get his ass handed to him - look," Randy said and Edge wiped the water away from his eyes and looked at the photo in front of him. Edge started to laugh relieved and pulled Randy over to him.

"Come on, we've got a promo to cut against DX and if that picture is anything to go by, it's gonna be one Hell of a night!" he laughed and Shelton, Nitro and Carlito looked at each other wondering what the picture had shown Edge to make him forget that Shelton super-punked him out on live TV.

RAW Live:

JR: Well we're back live and Nitro is making his way down to the ring with K Fed who is reluctant to get in the ring, I wonder why that could be?

KING: Probably because he's about to get his ass kicked by his ex-wife Britney Spears, can you believe it JR? Britney Spears and K Fed both on RAW tonight, what a night this is!

JR: You said it King and here comes the Showstoppa!

DX's theme music hit and the crowd went nuts, they were surprised by the metallic blue lights where the green DX lights usually were but when HBK came out in his new Xtreme threads it made perfect sense.

JR: Shawn Michaels looks more like a Hardy Boy than a Sexy Boy, I can't believe Vince McMahon forced him to take sides against The Game! Will his desire to see DX dead and buried ever end?

KING: Well the boss says DX may come to an end tonight and it looks like Shawn's already jumped ship, look at his hair it's black and blue, just like K Fed's gonna be once Britney gets done with him, speaking of . . . puppies!

JR: And there she is, Ms Britney Spears looking like she's worth a million bucks and she's worth a Helluva lot more than that folks! Elvis never looked that good in rinestones I am certain of that!

KING: JR, do you think Shawn's wife is watching this and thinking her husband may be tempted to break the 3rd Commandment after this match?

JR: If Shawn did he'd be the luckiest man to ever receive a divorce court order. Oh my God! K Fed's running for his life and Britney's hot on his tail!

KING: K Fed just ran out of the ring and he's trying to jump over the barricade but his wife's got him by the belt, oooh she's beating him with it now, oh my gosh I haven't been this excited since I downloaded Britney Live from Las Vegas!

JR: Britney and Kevin are gone and now Nitro realizes he's alone and . . . Oh my God - Sweet Chin Music, Sweet Chin Music!

The audience counts "1-2-3!"

JR: Shawn and Britney beat Nitro and K Fed!

KING: Shawn and Britney? Hey look Britney's coming back she's getting in the ring . . . she's raising Shawn Michaels' hand, look at that smile oh my, her teeth are sparklier than her outfit! Britney over here the King needs a Queen!

JR: Easy there Uncle Jerry she's young enough to be your niece!

KING: Somebody better tell that to Shawn Michaels, when he was winning his first World Title, she was getting her first boob job! Hey Britney hit me one more time baby!

JR: Oh Lord!

Back in the Women's locker room:

Trish Stratus was pacing back and forth waiting for Melina and Lita to come back from their match. As soon as the doorknob turned she let a-rip.

"What was that?" she demanded as the two wrestlers waked in, Melina was out of breath and Lita barely breaking a sweat, "That was one of the worst matches I have ever seen!" she shrieked, "I have never seen a woman work so hard to get another woman over in my life, it was like you weren't even there," Trish said to Lita and she stepped up to the red-head, "Where were you?" she asked.

"Oh great the bitch is back," Melina said rolling her eyes in irritation.

Lita barely registered what Trish had said and when to walk straight passed her when the Canadian grabbed her arm, "Look Lita I know you're having a bad day but this attitude is gonna make it worse you hear me?"

Lita just stared right though Trish and the Canadian Diva removed her hand gently and sighed. "I'm gonna find Carlito," she said and left the looker room in frustration. As she turned towards the male locker room her mind weighed heavily on Lita and she sunk to her knees; _Please God don't let Amy throw away everything she's worked so hard for on Triple H, You and I both know he's not worth it! _Hunter spotted her thinking she had hurt herself and ran over to her tripping over his boot lace and landing on top of her.

"Trish what are you doing here? Are you okay?" he asked her concerned.

"No Hunter you're on top of me I'm two heartbeats away from turning into a lesbian," she answered, "Get off me!" she snapped and the Cerebral Assassin pulled her up and she pushed him away from her angrily, "I can't believe you're happy about what Edge said,"

"You mean about not wanting Shawn to be friends with Lita? Sure I'm happy, he's gonna be her husband he can do what he wants if he thinks its best," Hunter replied.

"Starting with lying to Lita before the wedding?" Trish argued and Hunter shrugged.

"It's not like it's a big deal Trish; its only Shawn, Lita's got loads of friends she doesn't need him," he said and Trish shook her head.

"You just don't get it do you Hunter?" she asked him.

"Say what?" Hunter asked confused.

"The connection between Lita and Shawn," Trish answered.

"That's exactly what Edge is trying to stop," Hunter replied and Trish started to pound on his chest in a frenzy.

"IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!" she yelled and saw everyone looking at them and Hunter smiled acquiescingly.

"Trish seriously you need to let go of the DX merchandize and get a hold of your boyfriend's stash cos you need something to calm you down know what I'm sayin?" Hunter replied.

"Is there anyway you could get of the Integender match tonight?" she asked him desperately.

"No I already cut the promo for it, sorry plus I'm really looking forward to it," Hunter said with a cheeky grin, "I finally get to put Lita where she belongs - on her back with me on top of her,"

"Hunter I'm not kidding you don't want Lita anywhere near DX tonight," Trish said seriously.

"Don't worry Shawn's not even competing in the match, he's messing around with Britney Spears somewhere, at least he better be he needs the destraction after everything he's been through this week. It's a match Trish; if anything crazy happens I'll take care of it okay?" Hunter reassured The Truth and she sighed running her hands over her face irritated by Hunter's idiocy, "The match is next, I'll talk to you later," he said and gave her a hug. Suddenly he couldn't move, "What's going on?" he said and looked down at Trish, "You're lucky Carlito's not here, he might wanna have a little talk about this," he smirked and Trish let him go too annoyed to reason with him and watched as he laughed down to the gorilla position.

"I've gotta stop this match and there's only one thing I can do," she said and ran down to the gorilla position making sure no-one saw her.

RAW Live:

JR: Oh my God it's Trish Stratus!

KING: Puppies are back on RAW!

JR: What an unexpected surprise!

KING: Wait-a-minute, Carlito's stopping her from approaching the ring. He's pulling her back!

JR: But what's she doing out here King?

KING: Something tells me that Trish is out here for Lita, she probably didn't appreciate Lita's claim that she was the most dominant female in the WWE.

JR: Well whatever the reason is the 7 Time Women's Champion is back in the WWE! My goodness what else could happen tonight?

KING: Puppy power!

Carlito dragged Trish to the back refusing to let her go until the match between Edge and Hunter was over.

"Carlito let me go!" Trish insisted struggling against him.

"No Vince is gonna kill you for going out there without him knowing about it," Carlito argued back.

"So he'll make a storyline out of it," Trish replied still trying to get out of Carlito's grip.

"It doesn't matter he hates surprises and he's probably looking for you right now!" Carlito said.

"I don't care!" Trish said, "I have to get out there!"

Carlito turned her to face him, "What's wrong with you?" he asked concerned, "Why are you acting like this?"

Trish stopped fighting and went limp, "Nevermind, it's too late," she said despondently and Carlito frowned at her in confusion as the WWE Superstars came over to watch Lita's last match. It would be one of the greatest moments in RAW history.

RAW Live:

As Hunter kicked Edge out of the ring Lita watched HBK from the opposite side refusing to tear her eyes away from him. He wouldn't so much as look at her instead he focused on Hunter, cheering him on along with the Hardyz and they were all having such a great time tonight, what with Nitro and K Fed getting their butts kicked and Shawn getting an Xtreme Makeover, they all looked like brothers and she was the disgraced little sister they wanted out of the company. _Shawn Michaels is hanging with the Hardyz huh? _Lita thought menacingly; _Trying to hone in on Xtreme territory huh Shawn? Well I'm gonna take out the one person he truly cares about. _Lita picked up a steel chair from by Lillian Garcia and slid into the ring while Edge was about to get Pedigreed by The Game. Hunter turned and saw her.

"What are you doing?" he asked not expecting the steel chair to knock him unconscious after Lita whacked it against his skull in one thunderous shot. The fans were watching in total shock along with the guys in the back and JR and King didn't know what to say. As Hunter lay there unconscious at Lita's booted feet the referee rang the bell DQ-ing Edge. Lita turned to Lillian Garcia and asked for a microphone.

"What are you nuts?" Lillian asked anxiously knowing that this was not how the match was supposed to go; Lita was supposed to challenge Hunter not knock him unconscious with a steel chair! Edge came over and grabbed the mic from Lillian angrily and gave it to Lita who turned to look at Shawn Michaels who hadn't moved form his spot, in fact he wasn't even looking at her, instead he attended to his partner in crime in the ring while Matt and Jeff looked on nervously.

"What's the matter Hardy Boyz?" Lita said into the microphone, "Aren't you gonna help your friend? The only one crazy enough to stick by that Cerebral piece of crap all these years?"

Shawn backed away from her as she stepped into the ring and the audience gasped as Edge and Randy took out the Hardyz, Randy thinking the whole thing was part of the script.

"Whoa now don't tell me Shawn that I repel you so much that you're willing to sacrifice your friend instead of getting in here with me and taking his place in the Integender match tonight, you know my last night on RAW?" Lita said her words tinged with bitterness which quickly turned to anger as Shawn continued to walk away even as the fans chanted his name. She got up on the top turnbuckle and taunted Shawn Michaels again, "Shawn you've got two choices; you can get in this ring and confront Rated RKO and myself like a man, or you can walk away and prove you're the coward I know and everybody else knows you are,"

The crowed booed Lita while JR and King watched in complete shock at what they were seeing.

JR: Well what's Shawn gonna do now?

KING: He's walking away! He really is a coward!

JR: Shawn Michaels does not want a confrontation with Lita, you know Shawn Michaels would put his hand on no woman King!

KING: Yeah not even his wife, that's why she cheated on him!

JR: You're pathetic!

Lita smiled, "That's right, walk away because you know what would happen if you do put your hand on me,"

The fans were still curious as to what was going on as Lita turned her attention back to Hunter; they were about to find out.

"Pick him up," Lita said to Edge and Randy.

"Edge what's going on?" Randy whispered as they picked up an unconscious Game up off the floor.

"Just hold him up," Edge said willing to go ahead with whatever Lita had in mind. The fiery red-head turned towards the fans with the mic proudly at her cherry red lips, "Let this be a lesson to anyone crazy enough to be friends with Triple H," she said and dropped the microphone to the mat. Hunter came around long enough to see Lita holding a chair high above her head, after that he saw nothing.

JR: Good God Almighty!

KING: Lita just took The Game's head off!

JR: That has to be the most horrific chair shot I have ever seen from a man or woman to another human being!

As Hunter's body dropped to the floor Lita threw a chair down defiantly her face flushed with rage. The fans were stunned into silence as the blood started to pour from Hunter's head but Edge fixed that by raising Lita's hand while Randy looked at Hunter's still body thinking what an Earth had he just become a part of. Boos rained down hard as Edge and Randy left with Lita looking every bit like the dominant female she always claimed to be.

KING: What a piece of trash that Lita is.

JR: I will not miss her I can tell you that folks!

The looks on the faces of the RAW Superstars told the story; they were in absolute shock over what they had just seen. Some admired Lita for finally standing up for herself other's looked at her with fear, Randy was totally dazed and confused by what went down.

"Lita what was that all about?" he asked taking her to one side away from everybody's starting eyes.

"Two years worth of payback that's what," she answered as Melina came over to her.

"Okay mama let's go," Melina said taking her arm.

"Where?" Lita asked her.

"To the hospital you escaped from," Trish added coming up to her.

"Way-to-run interference Stratus," Lita said and Trish shook her head thinking Lita had gone totally off the deep end, "Why don't you stick to what you're good at and tell me what on Earth's going on around here?"

"Don't turn this around on me Lita," Trish answered as the EMTs came up from the ring with Hunter who was laid on a stretcher, "I told you not to give into your anger!"

"Wrong, you told me that my attitude was gonna make things worse, and I know how to turn a bad situation into a good one. Just look at Edge, he was going nowhere and I changed him into the Rated R Superstar with my Live Sex celebration and I was the Queen of Xtreme. What did you do for Christian and Jericho? Oh that's right, you got them both fired! And I'm supposed to be the Kiss of Death? You're crazy if you think I'm not going out the way I came in, the fans won't ever forget me for what I've done and what I'm about to do," Lita replied.

"And just what would you call that maniacal display out there?" Trish asked her.

"I can sum it up in four words," Lita answered as Shawn got into the back of the ambulance with Hunter, "lovefuryenergypassion!" she said grinding her teeth viciously and she made a beeline for the ambulance. Shawn saw her coming and told the driver to hurry up and move but it was too late. Lita got in and pulled the man out of the driver's seat.

"What is she doing?" Melina asked Trish and the blond shook her head.

"Getting in deeper and deeper," Trish answered sadly as Lita hopped over the driver's seat into the ambulance and kicked the doors open from the inside. Shawn looked away from her making her even madder.

"You really wanna see your friend get hurt don't you Shawn Michaels?" she said but HBK didn't answer, "Well that's fine you don't wanna talk to me, I don't wanna talk to you we're done, you and the WWE are all invited to kiss my ass! Please exit through the rear doors,"

Shawn looked at the exit then he looked back at Hunter.

"No," he said at last and Lita raised her eyebrow.

"You can talk? I had no idea!" Lita said, "Well that's great HBK maybe now you can tell me why I had to kick Hunter's ass to get you to talk to me,"

Shawn sighed, "I can't tell you, I made a promise," he said reluctantly.

"A promise to who?" Lita asked agitatedly.

"Lita please just get out of here!" Shawn said and Trish lowered her head. Melina touched her chest where she could feel Lita's heart breaking. Shawn looked over at Lita and realized that he had said the worst possible thing to her.

"Lita's I'm sorry but I'm not supposed to be talking to you," he explained but he was only making things worse as Lita just stared at him blankly.

"You want me to go away?" she said barely audible in her rage, "Well why don't you just lead by example?"

"I am not leaving Hunter alone with you, not like this," Shawn said.

"Why you afraid I'm gonna hurt him?" Lita asked sarcastically.

"Yes!" Shawn shouted and Lita smile malevolently.

"You're damn right!" she said and kicked Shawn out of the ambulance.

"Hunter!" Shawn cried banging on the ambulance door as they closed in his face, "Don't hurt him!" he cried and the ambulance doors opened and Lita stepped out with a smile. Shawn tried to get past her but she stuck her arms out blocking his way and stuck her chin out begging him hit her.

"Go on give me your best shot!" she teased him and started to laugh maniacally.

Shawn shook his head, "What happened to you Lita you used to be such a sweet lady, what turned you into such a heartless woman?" he asked confused and Lita suddenly stopped laughing and looked HBK straight in the eye which started to water instantly.

"You broke my heart Shawn, you took Hunter's side when you should have taken mine! Now you're gonna see what happens when you break Lita's heart!" she said defiantly and whistled to Trish and Melina who jumped into the ambulance with her.

"You guys are in on this?" Shawn said in shock and Lita went to close the ambulance doors but Shawn stopped her; his eyes pleading with her so she'd reconsider her course of action. Trish approached Shawn and put her hands over his reassuringly.

"Leave it with us Shawn, we'll take it from here," she said and gently removed his hand from the doors which Lita shut in his face. The ambulance sped off and Shawn turned around to face Edge who was watching the whole thing with Randy Orton, and he wasn't alone; the whole encounter had been watched by the WWE locker room.

"There is no way in Hell you're marrying Lita," Shawn said angrily, "the deal was to keep her away from Hunter and you blew your part of it. Your lies have turned a kind-hearted woman into a monster and now my best friend's gonna get hurt!"

"It's less than you both deserve for screwing me and Randy every chance you get, serves you right you backstabbing, show-stealing, over-the-hill sonofabitch!" Edge replied vehemently and Shawn glared at him clenching his fists with rage then someone grabbed him from behind and he turned to see Stephanie McMahon looking at him in distress.

"Shawn what did Lita do to my husband? I heard her match didn't go as planned," she asked her eyes with anxiety. Shawn took one more look at Edge before putting his arm around her and walking away to his rental car.

"Come on I'll explain on the way," he said getting out his keys but Stephanie re-directed him to Hunter's tour bus.

"We do this right, now get in," she told him.

"We're coming with you!" Shelton called followed by Nitro, Carlito and Randy who didn't want anything more to do with Edge after the stunt he just pulled and they all took off down the highway leaving Edge standing alone to wallow in the mess he'd created.

End of RAW Live.

Backstage:

"3-2-1 and we're out - that's a wrap!" the production manager said as RAW went off the air and Vince came out and applauded loudly as the fans talked about what a great show that was while exiting the arena.

"Great job Edge we really had them fooled thinking Lita went psycho on Hunter and drove him down the Highway to Hell!" Vince said excitedly, "After the wedding angle, on Monday we shoot the final scene where Lita drives the ambulance off the cliff killing Hunter and herself and Lita will be very cherished part of WWE history and have a special place in the heart of Vincent Kennedy McMahon forever,"

Edge nodded; he agreed the angle did go over well and gave his character more heat than he could ask for; he couldn't help but wonder if Lita was really mad about something though she was so distracted on the ride over from Rocky's house.

"I'm gonna go inside and take a shower, Lita will probably ride that ambulance all the way to Rocky's house I'll meet up with her there," Edge told Vince.

"Okay Adam, don't forget, you and Lita are invited to the McMahon - uh-hum, that is the McMahon-Helmsley compound tomorrow morning, Linda and I want to throw you a little engagement breakfast party before we shoot the faux wedding in the afternoon, you guys can do the real thing on your own time," Vince said and Edge nodded hesitantly; he hadn't told Lita Vince insisted on them doing a fake wedding and he had a feeling he was gonna have a hard time breaking the news to her knowing how she felt about the WWE manipulating her personal life for ratings. Edge would have to persuade her to see things his way.

Back in the women's locker room Britney Spears was changing out of her outfit and into her jeans and t shirt ready to go back to The People's House for the night. She saw Torrie Wilson, Mickie James and Victoria come towards her suddenly and she smiled at them thinking how cool it was to be part of a RAW show like her ex-husband was.

"What did you guys think, did I look good out there?" she asked them all as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

Victoria looked over at Torrie and Mickie James darkly and went to lock the door while they advanced on the young celebrity mom.

"Oh yeah, you looked real good, good enough to eat, isn't that how Shawn Michaels described you?" Torrie said bitterly and Britney looked away from the mirror and turned to face them.

"Is everything okay?" she asked wearily and she remembered that she didn't have her usual entourage of bodyguards and Lita, Melina and Trish were still working the Highway to Hell angle with DX and had already left the arena. She was all by herself and apparently, she was in serious trouble. Wilson smacked the lipstick out of her hand and she clenched her wrist in pain looking up at the angry blond in disbelief, "Shawn was just being nice okay I just thought he deserved something a little sweet to take his mind of his wife's crazy shenanigans, Lita told me he likes dessert, I didn't know he'd like it so much he ate the whole damn lip gloss while I was getting changed! Why are you doing this?"

"I think you know Ms Spears, this isn't just about you stealing HBK away from Torrie Wilson, even though you blatantly seduced him like the sex-craved porn star you are. You think you can just walk over to the RAW breakfast table at Mickie D's and become the centrepiece of the RAW women's locker room because you married that white trash husband of yours? Who do you think you are?" Mickie James asked suddenly knocking the wind out of Britney's stomach with a swift kick to the ribs. Britney sucked in her breath crashing to the ground spilling her make up and staining her jeans with eyeshadow and foundation. Torrie Wilson dragged her up and pulled her hair back viciously.

"So you think your hot stuff huh?" she said as Britney started to cry, "Well the last woman who thought she could sleep her way to the top got her face kicked in, didn't she Vicky?" Wilson said looking over to the strongest WWE Diva on the roster who was pounding her fists ready to attack Britney as soon as Torrie was finished.

"She ain't the Candice Michelle she used to be," Victoria answered cruelly and Britney tried to pull away from Torrie Wilson but Torrie pushed her into Victoria who hoisted her up over her shoulders about to administer the Widow's Peak when Tamara Nash started bashing the door down with Triple H's sledgehammer and reached inside and unlocked the door. Britney looked over and saw her coming to her rescue.

"Help me!" she cried as Victoria dropped to the ground snapping Britney's neck as she did so and she lay still on her chest while Tamara wielded the sledgehammer wildly at the Divas who fled the room in a hurry.

"Play times over ladies, I signed my contract, your asses are officially mine starting next Monday!" she called after them and then checked on Ms Spears who was unconscious, "Crazy bitches," she said, "Always trying to initiate people into their stupid little world because they're so bored with Bra & Panties matches," Tamara flipped Britney on her back and put some smelling salts under her nose. Britney came around a few seconds later and clenched her neck in pain. Tamara helped her to her feet, collecting her stuff at the same time and escorted her to The People's Hummer which was waiting outside.

"Easy honey," The Rock said sliding her into the back where her son was quietly sleeping.

"Where's my son?" Britney said suddenly looking around for Sean Preston and Tamara pointed to the little boy asleep between Cameron, Cheyenne and Carla, "What was I thinking agreeing to do this appearance? That locker room is no place for a singer, I didn't get one move in I must be crazy for thinking I could hang out with you guys, I'll tell Shawn I'm sorry and then that's it; the sooner I get outta here the better," she said in frustration and The Rock showed her the ET channel on his Blackberry.

_"Britney steals the show on Friday Night RAW, the controversial princess of pop shocked the world when she appeared as WWE Superstar Shawn Michaels' Tag Team partner in a match against Johnny Nitro and her ex-husband Kevin Federline who recently defeated former WWE Champion John Cena! Not only did she kick her husband all the way out of the Continental Airlines Arena, she looked damn good doing it too! It looks like the old Britney we know and love is back and she is more RAW than ever!"_

Britney gushed as the video news clip ended, "Oh my was that me?" she said marvelling at how good she looked whooping her ex-husband's ass, "Oh my God that was amazing, maybe I do belong in the WWE!"

"Well I wouldn't go that far, but you certainly could help Vince out in this war Rebecca Michaels is gonna wage against the WWE with this bullshit over on TNA with Kevin, JJ and Scotty - the "Kings of Wrestling"," The Rock said and Tamara got in next to Britney with him and gave her a warm smile.

"You may not be able to hold your own against Victoria, Mickie James and Torrie Wilson but you could kick TNA's butt in the ratings and that would make me personally very happy," Tamara said imagining the angry look on her husband's face as she cussed him out live on RAW. "Imagine you accompanying HBK to the ring while his wife is trying to drag his name through the mud? The fans will eat it up with a spoon, they'll think Shawn's back to his old self, the old Heartbreak Kid from 1997, God I miss that guy," Tamara told her as the People's Hummer rolled out to the People's House.

"1997? I was barely outta high school then, I didn't know Shawn was so old, I mean he looks so good in those low cut jeans, his ass is just amazing!" Britney said and The Rock turned around and showed her his butt through his jeans and she gushed, "I stay incorrected: your ass is amazing!" she said pointing to the People's Ass and Tamara rolled her eyes.

"It's okay I guess," she said and The Rock flipped her the People's Bird, "and Shawn's not old, Shawn's 41 he's in his prime! Take it from a woman that's married to a much older man, there's nothing better than a man who knows what he's doing in the bedroom and Stephanie told me that she overheard Hunter and Shawn talking about their turn ons," Tamara told her and Cameron's ears pricked up mid-sentance, "You know what Shawn's big turn on is?" she asked Britney who cocked her eyebrow in curiousity.

"What?" she asked.

"Dessert - any kind of dessert; donuts, stick buns, any type of pudding/pie or danish and he'll eat anything with Butterscotch on it," Cameron answered and Tamara told him to go to back to sleep while Carla chuckled wishing LC was here to hear that.

"Butterscotch," Britney said tapping her Butterscotch coated lips, "I may have found the perfect man - someone who likes dessert as much as I do! How does he stay so trim with an appetite like that?"

"He has sex with my Mom for like days afterwards," Cameron answered and Carla chuckled loudly, "Sometimes he forgets he sent me over to the neighbors and a week later I'll be like, "Can you come and get us now?" He always looks tired when he comes for us, my Mom usually just sleeps it off,"

Britney covered her mouth while The Rock laughed into his hands and Tamara told Cameron and Carla to go to sleep once again, "Kids, they're a lot smarter than they look," she said, "Unlike their parents who need to insult each other on national TV, seriously though Britney stick around, after this angle with Lita and Hunter, its gonna be Shawn Michaels as the newest member of Team Xtreme, you might wanna think about wearing something a little more alternative from now on,"

Britney nodded, "Okay I'm in," she said re-applying her lip gloss; she was gonna need to stock up and talk to Lita about looking Xtreme, "You know maybe I should just stick to the tight fitting rinestone jumpsuits, that alternative thing just doesn't work for me," she thought after some more consideration.

"Just wear a pair of low riders and a bikini top and spray paint DX all over it in metallic blue, you'll be fine. Charlene will help you out, she lives for fashion," Carla said through closed eyes.

"Who's Charlene?" Tamara asked and then told Carla to go to sleep again.

"How can I tell you who she is if I'm supposed to be sleeping?" Carla quipped and Tamara threw her hands up in frustration.

"Okay get up both of you," The Rock said and Cameron and Carla came over to The People's Lap, "Tell us how to make Britney look like Lita,"

"She can't look like Lita, the fans will see right through that," Carla said, "She just has to be herself you know, low riders and a halter top, Britney '01, Sean Preston can stay with us, Charlotte, Cameron and I will be happy to take care of him,"

"What about her hair my Dad doesn't like blonds," Cameron added and Tamara and Rocky exchanged glances.

"Cameron are you okay with this I mean, if I ever left Gracie my daughters would never agree to me seeing Trish - not that I want to ever again," The Rock said and Shawn's only son looked at the People's Champ sternly.

"That woman is not our Mom," Cameron told him and Tamara shook her head in agreement, "That's a witch with bad breath and as soon as she goes away we'll have our Mom back but until then my Dad can have any woman he wants and Britney you're just the doll he needs to play with; you have a lot of accessibile features," Cameron said rudely glancing at Britney's breasts for an inappropriately long time.

"Okay that's enough!" The Rock said ushering Cameron back over to the other side of the Hummer, "Go to sleep lil' man, Carla keep your eye on that one, he's too much like the old HBK and I prefer he be more like the new HBK, I like that guy,"

"You guys hate each other don't you?" Carla asked the People's Champ.

"Yeah but I still think he should be treated with respect, he's given his life to this business, what his wife did to him was unforgivable," The Rock said.

"And you know what the crazy thing about it is Rocky? After this angle with TNA vs. WWE is over, he's gonna go right back to Rebecca," Tamara said pitifully.

"Why?" Britney Spears asked puzzled, "She's basically told him to f**k off - sorry Carla honey, Cameron my bad, I don't usually swear," Britney apologized after swearing out loud.

"Hold out your hand," Carla said, Britney obeyed and Carla slapped it as punishment.

"There you go now don't do it again," Tamara said with a laugh.

"I'm sorry for my language but there's no way he could do anymore to appease his wife, if anyone should be grovelling it should be her! You know what if Rebecca wants him back she's gonna have to fight me for him," Britney said putting her make up away satisfied with her appearance now that she had re-applied her light brown massacra and Butterscotch lip gloss.

"Whoa!" The Rock said along with Tamara Nash at Britney's bold statement.

"I'm serious; Shawn's smart, sexy, he's a born again Christian who loves his children, he loves to eat and he likes to burn off the calories in the bedroom for days apparently - in summary, I may have found the perfect father for Sean Preston and new companion for me. I'm tired of these Eminem wannabes who ain't got nuthin important to say and even less guts to say it with. I'm gonna make him a star, when this thing with Rebecca and TNA is over, Shawn Michaels will be the talk of Tinseltown and the biggest WWE Superstar in the world," Britney vowed looking up at the stars and seeing Shawn's name written there right next to her own and Rocky and Tamara nodded impressed at Shawn's undisputed ability to attract more and more controversy as the years go by.

"Get ready TNA, the WWE is ready for war," The Rock said adamantly. He didn't know just how right he was.


	10. The Rules of Breaking an Engagement

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

A/N: WARNING: This chapter contains material that some may find offensive.

Nine - The Rules of Breaking and Engagement

After RAW, Lita drove the ambulance to Miami International Airport where ATM, Hunter and Stephanie accompanied HBK on a flight to Orlando with Shelton, Carlito, Randy Orton and Nitro as protection against the TNA locker room. Rebecca was currently in a "meeting" with the Kings of Wrestling at TNA Headquarters that was now drawing to a close.

"So that's it you're officially a TNA Knockout," Kevin Nash said to Shawn's wife looking over at the contract Dixie Carter had faxed over for Rebecca to sign. Kevin wrapped his arms around the sultry mother of two and pulled her over to his leather couch in Paparazzi Production's office, watching lustfully as her little red dress rose above her waist revealing the expensive black panties that Shawn had bought for her for Valentine's Day last year, "Unofficially and off the record, you are already a total knockout," he purred kissing her smiling lips as she replaced the pen she signed the contract with Kevin's face and pressed it into her manicured hands.

"For years I've wanted to be a diva like Lita or Trish Stratus, and now I can be right here in TNA and unlike them I have no intention of quitting," Rebecca said and kissed Kevin's lips while he laid her down on her back mounting her with his enormous physique. He looked down at the woman he had stolen from the Heartbreak Kid and devoured her face with one Big Sexy Kiss.

"You're gonna love being with the Kings of Wrestling," he said kissing her along her neck as she writhed under the pressure of his body, "All three of us," he continued saying but Rebecca was too lost in his embrace to pay attention to the last thing his said. She flung the contract across the floor and wrapped her legs around his waist as he removed the dress Shawn had bought her, it was one of the many things Shawn had given her that was now discarded and tossed aside like her feelings for him and her two children. Listening closely outside the door were TNA Knockouts Christie Hemme and Gail Kim, and both women blushed as Kevin Nash proceeded to have sex with Rebecca.

"Ew," Gail Kim said in disgust.

"God have mercy on your soul Kevin Nash," Christie Hemme said devoutly holding the little gold cross she wore around her neck as Tamara Nash rang her cell phone, "This is Hemme . . . yeah she's in there with him and they are having a great time at you and Shawn's expense! You sure you want to wait Gail and I could bust this door down right now and smash her gorgeous face in and it will be over with . . . okay then we'll hold off until your debut on RAW and Tammy, Gail and I just wanna say we're sorry you have to go through this bullshit with your husband. Bye,"

Hemme hung up while Gail peered through the door and saw Scott Hall taking his pants off, "Are you kidding me, they're having a threesome!"

"Get out!" Christie said putting her head in the narrow gap Gail had created and seeing something she only thought she'd see on a porn shoot, "Oh my goodness she's gonna be sore tomorrow, how could they humiliate Shawn Michaels like this? I bet Alex and Austin are gonna blast this all over the internet before RAW on Monday, I better call Tamara back we have to put a stop to this now!"

Gail covered her eyes in disgust and eventually got up to regain her composure while Christie redialed Tamara's Nash's cell-phone, "Wait a second Christie," Gail said putting her hand over the cell phone and closing it in her hand, "Why don't we find Shawn?"

"Shawn Michaels? Isn't he still in Miami shooting that angle with Lita and Hunter in that ambulance?" Christie asked Gail, "That was so cool when she took off down the Highway to Hell!"

"I spoke to his cousin while I was waiting for Petey and Matt says Shawn's on his way here to get revenge on Raven and Serotonin!" Gail told her, "But I think this is a little more important than beating up a coke head and his deviant followers don't you? I mean she's getting double-teamed by his best friends, how could this be a good thing for TNA and the Women's Division?"

"YES! YES! YES!" Rebecca cried out and Christie Hemme raised a cynical eyebrow, "A threesome with the Kings of Wrestling may not be good for the Women's Division but its good way to spend a Friday night," she said and Gail shook her head pulling Hemme towards to stairwell to tell the boys to keep a look out for HBK, and warn anyone not down with DX to take cover because they weren't going back to Connecticut without somebody's blood on their hands.

Vince McMahon would have insisted on going with them but Shawn knew ATM and Hunter would be enough protection with Shelton, Carlito, Nitro and TKO to boot. As he entered TNA's locker room with his friends behind him, Shawn Michaels caught the attention of everybody there except for the man he was looking for who was facing the other direction.

"He looks amazing," Chris Sabin said to Christopher Daniels who thought Jeff Hardy had another brother he didn't tell him about.

"That's Shawn Michaels?" Jay Lethal asked Sonjay Dutt who was checking Shawn's new look out from head to toe.

"No doubt, can't you see the resemblance between him and Matt?" Sonjay answered and Lethal nodded.

"Yeah but Shawn's like a million times hotter," Eric Young added and Senshi looked at him questioningly, "I mean for a guy," Young added trying to save his masculinity, or what little was left of it. AJ Styles watched as Shawn stalked Raven knowing exactly what HBK intended to do.

"Yo Daniels," AJ whispered to his long time friend, "Doesn't this remind you of the time Jeff Hardy was feuding with Raven? Shawn's just like a panther about to pounce on its prey watching Raven from behind burning his eyes into the back of Raven's head waiting for the leader of Serotonin to turn around and face the man whose life he almost destroyed. I think we better get everybody the Hell outta here because Shawn is gonna tear Scott apart,"

Christopher Daniels unwrapped the last piece of his tape and nodded, "Alright everybody let's get outta here, come on!" he commanded and the TNA roster cleared out to give HBK the space he needed to exact his revenge on Raven. Hunter completely healed from the two deadly chair shots thanks to Melina the Miraculous was just behind him, not taking his eyes off the other members of Serotonin, especially Frankie Kazarian, Matt knew his cousin was coming for payback and he deserved it so he cleared out too taking Devine with him. TNA had made his older cousin's life a joke in the space of 2 days and Shawn wasn't about to turn the other cheek, he wasn't Jesus, he just believed in Him and Raven was gonna need the Son of God after HBK was done.

"Turn around you sonofabitch," Shawn snarled and Raven looked back at him suddenly and rose to get a proper look at the Kliq's Southern boy. He was pleased with what he saw in more ways than one.

"Shawn Michaels," he said adoringly, "I can see why they call you the Heartbreak Kid, out for revenge huh? Well if you wanna kill me I suggest you put your arms around me and give me a kiss because I'm dying just standing here looking at you,"

Hunter ran for Raven and slammed him against the wall while Shawn superkicked Kazarian who rolled away into the corner where Nitro and Shelton kept an eye on him.

"Don't move asshole," Shelton warned the gothic sadist who clenched his bruised jaw enraged.

"Don't touch me you black sonofabitch," Kazarian spat and Shelton went irate.

"What did you just say?" he asked getting dangerously close to Kazarian.

"He's trying to get under your skin Shelton don't let him!" Shawn cried out.

"Shawn I haven't listened to a word you've said since I came to RAW and I'm not about to start now," Shelton pulled Kazarian up by his Affliction shirt and kicked him across the locker room whipping him across the benches breaking one of them in half. He picked up a piece of the wood with splinters coming out of it and waited for Frankie to turn to his back and gave him a wicked smile.

"I'm gonna make a sculpture out of your face," he said and struck Kazarian in the face with the splintered side of the wood expecting him to scream out in pain, instead Frankie laughed and told him to keep hitting him. Shelton dropped the wood and walked away in disgust.

"You should listen to me more often," HBK told the athletic amateur wrestler patting him on the back while surveying the damage he and his friends had caused and were about to cause right now. He approached Raven who Hunter had holstered up against the wall by the scruff of his coat, looking into the hardcore veteran's eyes and seeing life there still even though the man was the living dead.

"Leave us," HBK said and Hunter looked at him questioningly.

"What?" he asked suspiciously and Shawn repeated himself.

"I said leave us,"

Stephanie took Hunter's arm and coaxed him away from Shawn and Raven, "Come on baby, Shawn's a big boy he can handle himself,"

"No he can't Steph, that's why he got into this mess in the first place," Hunter replied and Shawn sank his face into his hands and Hunter knew they were going to fight.

"I didn't need you to come here to bring me down, Rebecca's doing a great job of that already!" Shawn snapped.

"You need to come down, all the way back down to Earth, then maybe you'll get your head out of the Heavens and admit saying no has never been easy for you to do," Hunter said and Lita gawked at The Game in disbelief.

"Maybe we should go now, come on Hunter," Stephanie said pulling at him again but Hunter wouldn't budge and Raven took this opportunity to make an observation.

"You're in love with Shawn," he told Hunter who rolled his eyes and socked Raven in the jaw sending him down to the ground in one swift blow.

"I'm the one person in this room who is not in love with Shawn, come on do what you gotta do so we can get outta this God forsaken state," Hunter told HBK who looked down at Raven's disconcerted face and crouched down so he was eye-to-eye with him again.

"Chris Jericho played me a tape of Kevin and Becky talking about you selling me cocaine, why did you agree to it?" Shawn asked him. Raven coughed up a little blood and Shawn reached into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. He handed it to Raven who was surprised at Shawn's concern for his health.

"So much class, so much faith, what a shame that you have so much faith in men with absolutely no class," Raven said poetically looking up at Hunter reproachfully. Shawn pushed his hand into Raven's face waiting for his nose to crack under the pressure of his palm before he let go but Raven pulled back and moved his head away and felt a sense of danger that he hadn't felt in a long time.

"I'm not fooling around here Raven, there's like a million places I would rather be on a Friday night, now are you gonna tell me what I need to know or am I gonna have to split your face in half?" Shawn threatened Raven who gulped nervously, shaken by the intensity in HBK's eyes, he would have given anything to have faced him in the ring, Kurt Angle was right, Shawn was tougher than he looked.

"Kevin had an idea to reunite the Kliq but you know that already, what you didn't know was that Rebecca wanted you out of the WWE for good and the only way she could convince Vince McMahon to let you go was if she could prove that you were taking drugs again and that's where I come in," Raven coughed up some more blood and Shawn watched as his face contorted on account of the spasm caused by the cough. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Scott; he was a pill-popping fiend, like he used to be a long, long, long time ago, "I don't have anything against Vince McMahon but the idea of you coming in to TNA and leaving that company that holds your balls in a vice like grip gave me all the motivation in the world to offer you those drugs. Shawn, you are highly thought of here, Matty talks about what a great man you are and now I see what he meant. Would you ever consider leaving the WWE and joining Serotonin here in TNA?"

"What?" Shawn said in shock, "After this are you insane?"

"It would get your wife off your back," Raven said.

"My wife needs to get off her back," Shawn retorted.

"I don't think you understand I'm offering you my spot in Serotonin," Raven explaining coughing violently, "I don't think I'll be around for much longer and Kazarian and Matty need a leader, someone they can trust, someone with years of experience in this crazy business and someone who would never, ever hurt them,"

"You beat Matt with a kendo stick every single day, he called me and told me he had sleep with the lights on because he was afraid you were gonna come in and beat him in his sleep, and you let Frankie and Devine do whatever the Hell they want with whoever the Hell they want, you call that guidance? How is that not hurting them they're never gonna make it if you don't get right Raven, they look up to you!" Shawn yelled and pulled Scott up to his feet then threw him down by Melina's who jumped back in surprise.

"Heal him," Shawn told her and she held Raven's bloody face in her hands and looked deep into his eyes. The drugs in his blood stream started to dissolve rapidly as she prayed and he crashed hard as the drugs left his body sending him into convulsions. Then Raven had a terrible realization: he was seeing things clearly for the first time the drugs weren't in him anymore and he was clean.

"It's done, he's 100 percent drug free," Melina told Shawn who blew her a kiss.

"You're a doll," he said and she blushed while Nitro rolled his eyes not liking this new HBK one bit.

"ARGHHH!" Raven screamed as Melina healed his drug fueled body completely and Shawn held him firmly so he didn't hurt himself.

"It's alright this is for the better Raven trust me!" he said as Raven felt himself becoming normal, feeling things he no longer wanted to feel like hurt and regret, "Look Scott, look at your reflection this is the real Scott Levy right here,"

Shawn put Raven in front of the mirror, "Turn off the lights!" Raven cried and Shawn forced him to look at his reflection pulling his hair away from his face giving Raven no other option except to look at the man in the mirror.

"You see the man looking back at you?" Shawn asked him while his friends watched with baited breath as the old Raven appeared before them. A tear fell down Raven's cheek and he felt his breath sit in his throat as he looked at the man holding him with eyes as sincere as they were beautiful.

"Yes I do Shawn," he replied his voice shaking with emotion. He turned around and put his hands on Shawn's shoulders and wept, "Thank you," he said and gave HBK a hug. Melina smiled along with Nitro, Shelton, Randy and Carlito who couldn't help but feel touched by what they had just seen. Trish and Lita cautiously waited for Raven to finish what he had to say before making any comments and Stephanie held onto her husband afraid he was gonna say something stupid to anger Raven and ruin this very special moment, Raven noticed her apprehensive gaze and took it upon himself to address the area of her concern. "Hey Stephanie, that thing that Jericho told you, you know about Hunter keeping something secret? I'm gonna tell you what that secret is: he's in love with someone else,"

Hunter knocked Raven to the ground with another punch and Shawn pushed him away angrily, "What the Hell is the matter with you Hunter?" he said furiously while Kazarian came over to help his leader up.

"Are you okay Master?" he asked him concerned but there was no blood this time only a smiling face showing a peace Frankie never seen before.

"I am now Frankie and I'll be ecstatic when you press the play button on that stereo over there," Raven replied and Frankie looked up at the mini stereo on top of one of the lockers. He left Raven momentarily to play whatever tape was in that ancient stereo cassette player from back when Ric Flair was NWA Champion and went back to his leader's side like the faithful servant he was and everyone turned their attention to the machine as it began to play.

Trish tapped Lita on the shoulder and the red-head turned to her, "Brace yourself sister, things are gonna get real ugly now," and Lita adjusted her wig thinking it had moved too much to the left, "I'm not talking about your bald head!" Trish snapped knocking Lita's hand down, "Stephanie's about to get the revelation I told her about,"

"I take it that's why you insisted she come with us to Orlando and not go home with her father?" Lita asked her sister in Christ who nodded and Lita hugged her, "Always thinking two moves ahead,"

"Turn it up," Stephanie told Shawn who went over to it and listened closely. The first voice he heard was Kevin Nash, the second was Hunter's. He turned to his best friend who looked like he was about to have a heart attack when he heard the first lines of the tape.

"Oh my God," he cursed when he realized what the secret Jericho knew about was, "Shawn stop the tape," he said and HBK refused, "Shawn I'm not even kidding with you stop the tape!"

"When was this back in the day? Hunter you sound like your 17 years old!" Shawn said smiling at Hunter's younger voice, "When was this tape made?"

"1999," Raven replied, "Just after Kevin introduced you to Rebecca and you were still on the shelf suffering from that severe back injury,"

Shawn nodded and Hunter ran his fingers through his hair as the memories started to come flooding back, "Me and Hunter weren't talking then, remember Hunter?"

"Do you remember why you stopped talking to each other?" Raven asked Shawn knowing full well what had Hunter so rattled.

"Yeah it was because he thought I was being a dick," Shawn said with a smile and Randy, Nitro, Carlito and Shelton came closer to the recording intrigued by this piece of WWF history.

"What are you and Nash talking about?" Carlito asked Hunter who was covering his face in distress.

"Shawn's wedding," Hunter replied and HBK turned up the tape some more.

KEVIN: I know he'd want you to be there man . . .

"Okay that's enough!" Hunter said put the guys pushed him away saying they wanted to hear the rest of the tape. Kazarian laughed as beads of sweat started to run down Hunter's face.

"This is gonna be great!" he said to Raven who kept his eyes on Shawn the entire time, he had no idea how much the next few minutes of that tape were going to change his friendship with Hunter.

KEVIN: If you go to his house, catch him before the wedding and tell him why you can't be there he'll totally understand you can't just not show up!

HUNTER: I'd rather be a no-good-rotten sonofabitch who wouldn't show up to his best friend's own wedding then tell Shawn why I really can't watch him get married.

Shawn went blank just as the faces of all the men in the TNA locker room went as the last word was uttered, they were all listening outside the door along with Christie Hemme and Gail Kim who seemed to end on the outside of most rooms these days.

"Hey!" his friends complained and he told them to be quiet as TNA could be listening, Stephanie wasn't laughing at all, there was something she didn't understand and it escaped everyone's mind except Trish's who watched the green eyed beauty intently knowing what was about to happen.

"Why didn't you go to Shawn's wedding?" she asked Hunter who took a deep breath wishing he could kill Trish Stratus and still get into Heaven but knowing it was going to be easier to tell Stephanie now where there were witnesses rather than at home where she could cut him up and bury him all over Connecticut.

"Because I didn't want Shawn to know I was in love with the boss' daughter, I was afraid he would think I was a sell out," Hunter explained and now it was Stephanie's turn to panic.

"You didn't want Shawn to know about me?" she said and Hunter shook his head.

"No I didn't, you weren't in the Kliq, Chyna was, she was the one I was supposed to be with at least, that's what Shawn felt. I couldn't explain to him that it was you I was in love with, so I didn't go, I didn't want to have to deal with it," Hunter admitted and Stephanie couldn't stop the tears from coming down her face.

"So what do you think of me now?" she asked her husband and Hunter frowned.

"Stephanie I love you, you know that," he said surprised at her tone.

"Do you really? Or do you still need Shawn's approval before you can admit you're finally happy?" Stephanie said bitterly and Hunter put his arms on her shoulder but she batted them off defensively, "You didn't go to your best friend's wedding because you didn't want him to know about me what kind of messed up crap is that Hunter? I'm your wife, how could you put your best friend's feelings above mine I should come first?"

"Because Shawn's my blood!" Hunter cried out, "Shawn's my family, my insides, you're just some rich broad I fell in love with!"

The RAW Superstars gasped and Trish applauded Hunter, "The Truth has been spoken at last, well it's been a great night but I think we're gonna go home with my boyfriend, come on Carlito let's roll," she said taking her boyfriend away from his stunned amigos and headed for the door when Stephanie tackled her to the ground like a rabid animal, "I knew this was gonna happen!" Trish said as Stephanie grabbed her by the throat.

"You knew, you knew all along you selfish cow, how could you keep it from me just so I would be embarrassed in front of all these people? Trish Stratus I hate you, I never wanna see you at a WWE event ever again!"

"Stephanie get off mi hermana!" Lita said pulling Stephanie off of Trish who Carlito embraced and calmed down with short kisses until she started to swoon, "She couldn't tell you, this is the way it was supposed to come out, Trish doesn't control how the Truth comes out she just knows when it will come out, don't get mad at her she's God's Instant Messenger that's all," Lita told the crazed Mrs. Helmsley. Stephanie turned back to Hunter and shook her head in disbelief.

"So who do you love more, me or Shawn?" she asked.

"Stephanie don't be ridiculous," HBK admonished her abruptly, "Hunter is an insensitive clod who doesn't know how to explain how 2 + 2 is 4 let alone his feelings; the info gets all caught up in the transition from his balls to his brain and usually, they don't make it outta there in time! He loves you okay but he loves me too, but only as a friend. Me, Kevin, Scott and Sean are like brothers - or at least we were like brothers," Shawn said regretfully,"Now all that remains of the Kliq is me and the Cerebral Assman over here. Shawn turned to Hunter, "I don't care how you felt about me back in 1999, it's 2007 and we've grown up a lot since then," Shawn said and Hunter took his best friend's hair in his hand and flicked it playfully observing the blue and black coloring.

"So the Hardy Boyz are raising their age limit restriction to 40+?" Hunter quipped and Lita laughed and Shawn looked at her surprised.

"Knock it off Lita, this isn't funny," Stephanie said tearfully, "this is all about how much Shawn Michaels hates me and always has,"

"Stephanie how could you even say that?" Hunter cried out in shock.

"Stephanie you're out of your mind," Shawn said rubbing his head feeling a migraine coming on.

"The only time I'm ever gonna be good enough for Hunter in your eyes is after I drop dead!" Stephanie said and Shawn sat down on a bench and put his face in his hands.

"And I thought things couldn't get any worse," he groaned in dismay over how rotten this whole week had been and Stephanie had no intention of backing off.

"Admit it Shawn, you think Hunter sold out when he married me that's what this is about!" Stephanie yelled adamantly, "Say it! I won't pretend I don't notice the way you look at us when we're kissing, or even when we're just holding hands, it makes you sick doesn't it? Will you say something already?"

"Alright I admit it I thought he sold out!" Shawn yelled standing to his feet in a flash, "And I still feel that way, you and your father were never ever supposed to get this close to the Kliq, you were the whole reason we formed a Kliq in the first place, we never wanted any part of you and your family, we wanted to make it on our own! But when I got hurt and had to retire, that all changed and surprise, surprise - Hunter Hurst Helmsley becomes Stephanie's McMahon's Number 1 guy. Two years later, Chyna's gone, XPac's gone and I'm the only one left. Hunter went from a mid card misfit to a 7 Time World Heavyweight Champion in the four years I was gone and in the next three years, he became 10 Time World Heavyweight Champion, and why? Because he's talented? Because he's the best wrestler in the WWE? Maybe but that's not the reason, it's because he's got that band around his finger that says "I am the property of Stephanie McMahon". DX is the only thing he's got left of his soul because I remind him of how it used to be, how it should be and you ruined the whole thing," Shawn gave Stephanie a sarcastic round of applause, "Congratulations Steph you're part of the Kliq, now all we need is for Vince and Shane to join and it'll be all good,"

Hunter was speechless hearing it all come out like that was just so harsh and Stephanie was shaking, Trish was right, she needed to hear this: the Truth was finally out and now she understood why Jericho had pursued her so passionately over the last five years, he knew she would never be accepted as part of the Kliq and therefore she would never share the best part of Hunter's life, but all that was about to change.

"I see," she said and gave a loud sniff wiping the snot away from her nose with her handkerchief, "Well I can't help being who I am Shawn, all I ever wanted to do was be part of the cool group, I guess I'm just not cool enough to hang with you and your precious Kliq!" she spat angrily and got up in HBK's face, "I hope your happy now, not only have you managed to ruin the only thing keeping me from killing myself when I go to bed at night, but you've taught me a very, very valuable lesson: in love there is no friendship and we are indeed the very best of friends,"

Stephanie stared coldly at Shawn who was sorry for what he said but wouldn't take it back, that would make him a liar and the last thing he needed was more lies and deception in his life.

"I may not read the Bible as much as you do Lita, but I know that a man and a woman who were married under God should at least love each other and I love Hunter with all my heart, ten times more than I love my family including my own mother and father. But I don't think you feel the same way Hunter, because if you did, Jericho wouldn't have made such a big deal about me finding out about this. So here's my truth and that truth is that I need more than that, after all I'm not just some broad you fell in love with Hunter, I'm Aurora's mother and co-owner of the WWE. I'm your partner in every single way,"

Stephanie walked up to Shawn and broke into tears and he felt really guilty all of a sudden, like he ruined yet another woman's life, "I wish you thought more of me, maybe then Hunter wouldn't have been so ashamed to tell you about me from the very start, but I will not let you ruin my life the way you ruined Rebecca's,"

Lita was about to step in when Trish held her back, "No let her finish," Trish said firmly, "The Truth must be heard!"

"But Shawn didn't ruin Rebecca's life!" Lita insisted.

"I said let her finish!" Trish insisted and Lita fought every bone in her body not to take Shawn and run for the boardwalk outside Universal Studios right now.

"As of this moment, DX is through, you and Hunter are gonna go separate ways," Stephanie said and Shawn lost all color in his face.

"No you can't do that!" he yelled hysterically.

"I just did it Shawn Michaels, as of right now, you're on your own," Stephanie said a cruel McMahon smile appearing over her tear-stained face, "And if you're not down with that Shawn, I've got two words for ya . . . YOU'RE FIRED!" Stephanie roared sounding like a Minnie Mouse version of her father and Shelton, Nitro, Carlito and Randy looked on in disbelief, "Come on Hunter let's go," Stephanie said marching out of the TNA locker room among the crowd of stunned faces, even the TNA wrestlers that were eavesdropping on the conversation were in shock: they couldn't believe it - DX was done! "Hunter I said let's go," Stephanie repeated but Hunter did not move, instead he put his arm around Shawn and shook his head.

"No way," he said.

"What!" Stephanie yelled furiously.

"Isn't amazing Shawn, after I get kicked out of the McMahon family and nearly destroy the very business that has made me the 10 Time World Champion today, I still hold all the cards in the WWE. In case you forgot Honey Bun, Linda switched the inheritance clause so that I get half the share of all the McMahon property including the WWE itself, it's now under my name now, or should I but it more accurately - Aurora's name. Divorce me and I get half of everything you own, and since Shawn and I are almost a couple I consider him to be a valuable asset that I don't intend on parting with - ever. What do you say to that?" Hunter asked his wife who put her hands on her hips confidently.

"I say button up because its about to get really cold in here," she said with a wicked smile and Hunter looked down at Aurora's bassinette but before he could grab his daughter Stephanie already picked her up, "Remember what happened the last time we separated? Imagine was Aurora would do if we got divorced, she's change the climate of this entire country, what do you say to that?"

Hunter looked at Shawn and shook his head, "I say it's been good Shawn, have a good one!" and he left his best friend standing by himself while he departed Orlando, Florida with his wife and supernatural baby girl.

"I can't believe it!" Melina said pulling at her hair, "DX is done!"

"The Kliq is dead," Shelton said in disbelief.

"No more initiations," AJ Styles said coming back into the room with his TNA buddies.

"We can't tell him about Rebecca now!" Gail Kim told Christie Hemme who nodded.

"Yeah it's too much, I sure hope Tamara's got a plan, that woman's gonna put her husband in his grave," Christie said sombrely.

"Yes, the Kliq is dead - thank God!" she added and everyone gasped at her insensitive remark, "No guys this is for the best, trust me!" she insisted coming over to HBK who was crying his eyes out as Hunter left the locker room, "Shawn I said earlier this week that you and Hunter were going in different directions well now you know what direction he's going in. I'm not gonna go into details but if Hunter thinks he's not gonna go through Hell this year without you he's got another thing coming, but as for you my metallic blue friend, you're about to go to a level in your career you thought you would never reach!"

"What are you talking about Stratus?" Shawn asked impatiently.

"That's The Truth: Trish Stratus honey look at me, stop crying and shake it off because you're about to become richer and more famous than you ever thought you would. It's all part of God's Big Plan and it starts tonight!" Stratus said excitedly, "Come on everybody Carlito and I are having a party and you're all invited!"

"Who-hoo!" the TNA wrestlers shouted.

"Follow me!" Trish said with Carlito running out of the locker room.

"But Trish what about Lita and Edge's engagement party Vince is throwing at the McMahon-Helmsley compound?" Randy reminded her.

"Nuts to that, we're gonna have our own engagement party - come on Lita let's get this party started - whoooo!" Trish cheered getting everyone in the partying mood and Lita, Melina, Nitro and Shelton ushered a very confused and frightened HBK out of the door while Raven called Jeff Jarrett and told him he was gonna go to Trish and Carlito's house party and see what he could find to use against HBK and with Serotonin there something most definitely would get out of hand.

In a leaky dressing room back at the Continental Airlines Arena, Miami, FL:

"Good, follow them! I hope you find Shawn Michaels OD-ing in Trish and Carlito's bathroom so Paparazzi Productions can get a nice shot of him coked out of his mind! That'll teach Vince McMahon to make me kiss his ass on national television - Alex/Austin, I need more soap!" Jeff Jarrett screamed at the two PCS members who had been assisting Jarrett is getting the taste of Vince McMahon's ass out of JJ's mouth for the past three hours.


	11. The Wedding Crashers

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Ten - The Wedding Crashers

Saturday Morning after Friday Night RAW, McMahon-Helmsley Compound, Greenwich, CT:

"Where's Shawn?" LC asked Hunter as The Helmsleys came through their bedroom door.

"LC its four in the morning what are you doing up?" Hunter asked the little warrior princess standing in her combat PJs looking like she'd just watched Cameron and Carla kissing for the 88th time.

"I said where's Shawn?" she said again and Hunter frowned.

"Look it's late and you should be in bed right now and I'm a little tired myself so . . ."

"Where is Shawn!" LC yelled again and Stephanie marched up to her and pulled her out of their bedroom and into the guest bedroom where Charlotte, Brandon, Cassidy and Miss. Taylor were sleeping.

"This is where you belong," Stephanie told her and slammed the door waking Charlotte and everybody else up. LC marched right back out and jumped on Stephanie's back.

"I know what you did, you killed DX!" LC cried and Stephanie tried to shake her off but she was holding on too tight.

"LC what are you doing?" her older sister said coming over to the fighting females and rescuing her little sister from Stephanie's hands.

"She killed DX Char!" LC told Charlotte who frowned in confusion.

"What are you talking about sweetie nobody killed DX you were just having a nightmare, come back to bed and let Stephanie and Hunter have some privacy for once okay?" Charlotte said ushering her sister back into the guest room and closing the door. Brandon and Cassidy were already waiting for them to return wanting to know what had LC so riled up.

"LC why aren't you asleep?" Brandon asked the little soldier who picked up her WWE Diva Lita doll and started combing its hair.

"I had one of those things when you see something before it happens," LC said.

"A premonition?" Brandon asked.

"Whatever, anyway I dreamt that Stephanie killed DX, she told Hunter he couldn't hang out with Shawn anymore and when I woke up my cell phone beeped and I had a text message from Trish Stratus saying 'DX is dead'. I put two and two together and figured I had one of those promotion things, and I knew it really happened: Stephanie killed DX!"

Cassidy gasped, "Na-uh!" she cried.

"Ah-huh!" LC assured her.

"Hunter get back here!" Stephanie called after him but he closed the guest room door in her face, "That's it you wanna play games? I'm getting Aurora!"

"No you can't wake her up now?" Hunter said, "She's barely slept today, give her a rest will ya!"

"And when she's awake it's gonna get really cold in there!" Stephanie teased.

"Alright come in," Hunter said opening up the door allowing his wife into the room, "LC how did you know all that about me and Shawn breaking up?"

"Breaking up? Gees Hunter you make it sound like you guys are dating," LC said rolling her eyes, "And when I think of what we could have had it just breaks my heart," she added melodramatically but Stephanie wasn't amused.

"Listen you little brat, just tell us how you knew DX was dead," she demanded and Cassidy nearly cried.

"You mean it's true? You killed DX?" she asked Stephanie in disbelief.

"Yes it's true!" Stephanie said proudly and Charlotte, the Montenegros and Miss. Taylor gasped.

"She wants to destroy what's left of the Kliq so she can have Hunter's soul like you don't have enough of him already!" LC snapped, "You're a disgrace to the Helmsley name Stephanie McMahon and I'm gonna kick your ass, y'ah!" LC said kicking Stephanie in the shins with her barefoot then she hopped around in pain because she didn't have her big black boots on, "Okay let me try that again," she said running over to where her boots were strewn across the floor by her Triple H sleeping bag.

"Hunter doesn't need your help little girl he has me, now if you don't mind we have a very busy morning planning Lita and Edge's fake wedding angle, I suggest you all go back to sleep," Stephanie said and Cassidy and Brandon frowned.

"Fake wedding angle?" they said to each other in confusion.

"What fake wedding angle? Lita's done with the WWE why are you still sticking your nose in the woman's business?" Charlotte asked sitting on her little sister so she couldn't move.

"Is that an Indian Death Lock?" Brandon asked as LC applied the painful submission hold to Stephanie after bouncing out from under her sister.

"LC you're gonna break the woman's legs!" Charlotte said.

"Where did you learn that move? It's wicked!" Brandon said in awe.

"It's one of my old favorites," Hunter replied with a proud grin.

"It sure is, I've been watching WrestleMania 19 clips in the McMahon-Helmsley video library all night, I know all Hunter's best moves," LC boasted proudly as Hunter broke up the hold and handed his apprentice back to Charlotte so Stephanie didn't tear her blond hair out.

"Remember when I became Undisputed Champion? Man I would love to go watch that right now, who wants to join me?" Hunter said and everyone declined except LC and Cassidy who were already out of the room heading back down to the massive WWE video library.

"Hunter I want to go to bed!" Stephanie snapped already in her favorite XXL Triple H jersey that she liked to wear to bed.

"Well I don't!" Hunter snapped back, "Just because you've killed DX doesn't mean you can kill my need to watch myself beat Chris Jericho over and over again, now you'll excuse me I have a date with the DVD remote and two devoted DX fans, I'll see you in the morning,"

Hunter flew down the stairs behind LC and Cassidy while Stephanie shook her head in confusion.

"Wanna talk about it?" Miss. Taylor asked the green eyed beauty as she pushed her hair back in frustration.

"I don't understand why I'm suddenly the last person Hunter wants to be with," she sighed in confusion, "He tells me DX is reuniting while I'm carrying his first child, then he tells me he'd rather hang out with an eight year-old lunatic - ah!"

"Easy big sis," Brandon said as Charlotte went for Stephanie's hair.

"LC is the reason your Daddy's company is still in business, don't disrespect her especially around me," Charlotte warned her.

"Charlotte stop it's four in the morning she just got back from Florida, she's a little tired that's all, calm down," Brandon told his dear friend and Charlotte took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay I'm sorry, it wouldn't hurt for you to show a little gratitude to the people who make you so very, very rich," Charlotte said folding her arms insolently and Stephanie wondered why everyone thought being rich made you happy because she was ten times richer than most people and she had never been so miserable in all her life.

"Maybe Shawn's right, I'm too rich to be cool. Sorry Charlotte, but I am who I am and I thought that was good enough. I guess I was wrong. Goodnight," Stephanie said sadly and turned towards her bedroom. Miss. Taylor felt bad and Brandon noticed the way the Sunday school teacher's eyes widened in sympathy and decided to turn her frown upside down.

"Why don't you stay in here with us, come on it's not like any of us have to go to work tomorrow?" Brandon said to Stephanie, who laughed at him.

"Speak for yourself, you'll see how things work in the McMahon family soon. Rest is a luxury we cannot afford," Stephanie said and collapsed in exhaustion on the plush carpet outside their guest bedroom, she was emotionally, physically and spiritually drained.

"We better take her to her room, where is it?" Charlotte asked Brandon who shrugged as he picked the billionaire princess up from off the floor.

"Its right here," said a familiar voice and Miss. Taylor turned to see Chris Jericho standing at the far end of the passage. Brandon and Charlotte looked down at the sleeping beauty in Brandon's arms, she was already in a deep sleep and probably didn't know that he was here, they sure as Hell didn't know he was staying over at the McMahons as well.

"Does it seem weird to you that he's here?" Brandon asked his old friend from Bakersfield, CA.

"The man has a third eye in his forehead, don't get him mad!" she said discreetly.

"We were gonna put her to bed, she just got back from Florida and she's exhausted," Miss. Taylor told Jericho as the three of them walked towards the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla who was standing shirtless in Stephanie's doorway wearing just his army shorts and a pair of open toe sandals.

"I bet she had won Hell of a trip," he said with a smirk knowing she had gotten the revelation about Hunter, now Jericho was going to give her a chance to get back at him for it, "I'll take it from here guys, goodnight," he said and took Stephanie from Brandon's arms like she was a lost kitten being returned to him by some kind-hearted neighbors. Charlotte gasped and covered her mouth as Jericho admired the beatific features of the billionaire princess like an artist would his painting, "Welcome home baby, you're in good hands now," he said and was about to kiss her when Charlotte put Stephanie's hand right in his face and showed her the wedding band around her finger.

"You see that? That means she's not available, I may be a guest in this house but I will not stand here and watch you disrespect a man's wife," Charlotte said, "What you do you think you're doing?"

Jericho removed Stephanie's wedding band and gave it to Charlotte closing her hand around it before stepping back into Stephanie's room with the young mother in his arms, "I'm making up for lost time," he said and closed the door in leaving Charlotte, Brandon and Miss. Taylor with their mouths on the floor.

"What the Hell is going on here?" Miss. Taylor asked pulling her hair loose from the band and shaking it out so it flared wildly about her head, "This McMahon-Helmsley Y2J stuff is messing me up!" she cried in frustration and Brandon smiled and the fair-haired beauty.

"I like you're hair when it's loose Miss. Taylor," he said with a sweetness to his voice and Annabel smiled at him.

"Call me Annabel," she said with a smile and Charlotte smiled to herself; at least one thing was going in the right direction, it looked like Brandon Montenegro of Clear Water, Florida had finally found the right woman, _a Sunday school teacher from Texas, who woulda thunk it?_ she thought and left the two lovebirds alone to call her own lovebird. She needed to figure out how to approach this situation with someone who was as happily married as she was: her loving husband Dan who was in New York City getting his sleep on.

Downstairs in the McMahon-Helmsley video library, Hunter, LC and Cassidy watched some of Hunter's best matches including the match he had against Chris Jericho for the Undisputed Championship. Hunter rewound it several times and ran his own commentary, under any other circumstances LC would have loved it but not today, not when Stephanie McMahon was on the verge of destroying the only thing that kept Hunter in the wrestling business and not in Hollywood like The Rock - Degeneration X.

"What's the matter LC, don't you want to see Stephanie get Pedigreed again? Look I just slowed it down so you can see her face smacking the canvas," Hunter said pushing the slow-motion button on the DVD remote.

"Sweet," LC said and Cassidy went up to the huge LCD screen and started drawing over Stephanie's face with LC's approval, "Add more flies because her bodies gonna rot in Hell after I get through with her," LC snarled and Hunter looked down at LC and pinched her nose, "Hey give that back?"

"Give what back?" Hunter said.

"You got my nose man!" LC said.

"Oh sorry here you go," Hunter said and Hunter gave her back her nose, "What?"

"How many noses you got in there cos this one ain't mine," LC said looking at the invisible nose in her hand.

"Oh it must be Shawn's, idiot's probably looking for it right now, I've had it since we left his house on Monday," Hunter explained.

"Is it still under water?" Cassidy asked Hunter.

"Don't know, probably," Hunter replied.

"Why don't we go check it out? See if any old WWE Superstars are still floating around all dead and stuff," Cassidy asked.

"No they all survived," Hunter said.

"Man I was so sure Hogan wouldn't make it, I mean Shawn's house was like in 20ft of water," Cassidy said.

"Yeah Aurora was really mad when they told me and Shawn to SUCK IT!" Hunter said.

"Imagine how mad she's gonna be when she finds out DX is dead?" LC said.

"She'd be even madder if Stephanie and I got divorced," Hunter argued.

"Why would you get divorced? I don't know why would Stephanie wanna lose out on the possibility of her next child having super powers, like shooting fire at people through their eyes or making people explode just by thinking it!" LC said getting excited.

"She's an X Men freak," Cassidy explained noticing Hunter's perplexed expression.

"That still doesn't explain how you talk to me, you're so down man, that's exactly how I used to talk when I was a kid," Hunter said amazed and put down the remote and pulled LC onto his lap, "It's almost like we're related,"

"I know, but FYI putting an eight year-old girl on your lap with no adults around - not cool," LC said.

"My bad," Hunter said putting LC back onto the couch and he did a quick check to make sure Paparazzi Productions weren't snooping around somewhere.

"Don't get me wrong I'm fighting the urges back myself - " LC said and Hunter and Cassidy laughed at her.

"You're so funny, I haven't laughed like this since the last time Shawn and I dressed up like Vince and Shane McMahon, that was a lot of fun, especially afterwards when all the shit came down from the ceiling," Hunter said thinking back and LC and Cassidy reflected back with him.

"Yeah that was a good one," they said at the same time, "What a shame it had to come to an end," Cassidy said tearing up.

"I know but Stephanie thinks I don't love her, plus Aurora would have sent a typhoon bigger than that Tsunami in Asia and wiped Florida off the map, that girl does not want us fighting, I'm sorry it had to go down like that but family comes first and as much as I love him, Shawn is not family," Hunter said and a lump sat in his throat after he said that, "I better go to bed you guys, I'll be back down for breakfast, see you later," he said getting up hoping they didn't see the tears in his eyes.

"You got a missed call from Shawn," LC said looking down at the cell-phone on top of the WM18 DVD case, "It's like the 11th one,"

"I'm not talking to him LC, I told you we're through - DX is done!" Hunter insisted.

"If you don't pick up this phone I'm going to take of my clothes, set the video recorder to extreme close up and start jumping up and down naked as the day I was born!" LC threatened Hunter.

"We're you by any chance made by a wizard named Saron in a pit somewhere in Middle Earth you lil' Ork?" Hunter replied and LC smiled as Hunter picked up the phone and returned the call, "What am I gonna say . . . Shawn?"

Trish and Carlito's house, Boca Vista, FL, just before dawn:

"Have you seen my nose? I looked all over the house and I can't find it," HBK said on his cell-phone and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"I told you he'd be looking for it," Hunter said to LC who told him to keep talking, "Yeah so what's going on are you gonna go home?"

Shawn looked at the cell-phone like it had cyanide on it, "What home? My wife is screwing Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and probably Jeff Jarrett all at the same time, you think she's gonna be interested in flying back to San Antonio to make me and the kids breakfast?"

"She's what? Who told you that?" Hunter said in disbelief.

"Christie and Gail," Shawn replied and Hunter frowned.

"Who's Christie and Gail?" he asked confused.

"Christie Hemme and Gail Kim, you know they used to work for us one time," Shawn said rolling his eyes.

"And where do they work now?" Hunter asked cynically and Shawn lifted his cell-phone so the legions of guests Trish and Carlito had invited could answer the man's question.

"Um guys, Hunter's on the phone and he wants to know what company ya'll work for," he said to the rowdy bunch of wrestlers.

"TNA! TNA! TNA! TNA!" they answered in one voice.

"Does that answer your question?" HBK said as Sonjay Dutt, Jay Lethal and Chris Sabin spray painted his shirt with X's in all different color spray paint.

"You're still in Orlando?" Hunter said in disbelief, "Shawn your house is in 20ft of water, you have to go home and survey the damages you could be homeless man!"

"So we're not gonna talk about what happened last night?" Shawn said as Lita was running around trying to figure out where Trish and Carlito had hidden her wig.

"Okay nobody move until I've got my wig back on - AJ give me that!" she said to AJ Styles who was tying the wig to the clothesline outside and having a makeshift Ultimate X match, instead of Ultimate X it was called an Ultimate Hair match.

"Last one up there is an ugly betty!" Christopher Daniels said jumping up the extended pole with AJ on him trying to pull him down. Lita got hot and jumped over both of them, retrieved her wig and pushed them both into the pool making a huge splash and getting HBK's re-branded shirt soaking wet.

"Ooops, gotta go Hunter, Lita just pulled a Britney," Shawn said and Hunter pulled his hair back in frustration.

"She pulled Britney? And I'm here watching re-runs of WM18 with LC and Cassidy? Dammit!" Hunter yelled and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"No-no-no, she didn't pull Britney, she pulled a Britney, you know she made a mistake," Shawn explained.

"And what mistake was that?" Hunter asked curiously.

"She got me all wet and now I have to take my shirt off," HBK answered and unbuttoned his wet dress shirt and balled it up in his hands, "Scream if you want this!" he yelled and all the TNA wrestlers reached for the black shirt like it was an X Division belt or something and Shawn held his stomach with laughter.

"Shawn why are you hanging out with the TNA locker room?" Hunter said "They nearly ruined your career, are you trying to get fired?" Hunter asked his best friend impatiently and there was no answer, "Just what's going on over there? Where's Randy?"

"Hunter did you hear a single thing I said over the last few minutes? My wife is being double-teamed by my so-called best friends, I can't leave Florida without her she's gonna get hurt!" Shawn insisted.

"She must be hurting real good," Hemme said with a naughty smile and Shawn pushed her away playfully.

"Shut up Christie," he said.

"Hanging out with Playboy cover girls huh Shawn? Way-to-get back in your wife's good graces," Hunter said sarcastically.

"I called you ten times Hunter and you still don't care. So listen up partner because I'm only gonna say this once, even though I've already said it like a million times on those voice messages I left but whatever. I am not leaving Florida without Rebecca; I will take her sexually over-qualified ass back to San Antonio and arrange a marriage counseling session at Cornerstone Church with Pastor Hagee. I will get her back in the Lord's good graces!"

"Or you can do it right here in Florida, Paula White has a ministry here with her husband Randy, I'll go with you!" Lita said enthusiastically.

"Okay change of plans, I'm taking that bitch I call a wife to Church right here in Orlando, Florida!" Shawn said defiantly.

"YEAH!" The TNA fans roared in celebration of their hometown.

"And what if she doesn't want to go to church with you, what are you gonna do then?" Hunter asked and there was a moment of silence.

"I'll quit the WWE and I'm gonna go to TNA and keep an eye on her," Shawn said and Hunter dropped his cell-phone, "Hunter? Hunter?" Shawn called as his best friend ran up the stairs to his bedroom and saw the last thing he needed to see after that conversation.

"Jericho," he said looking down at the lion-haired rock star as he lay with his arms wrapped over Stephanie's sleeping body like a man would his woman, "You've got ten seconds to explain what you're doing in my bedroom or I'm gonna tear you apart,"

"I've got a proposition for you junior," Jericho said with an air of confidence that Hunter hadn't seen before, "Fight for DX, keep Shawn to yourself and let me have Stephanie,"

Hunter laughed, "Forget about the chances of me agreeing to that being nil, my daughter would kill you if she was awake right now. She has no patience for marital problems, all she cares about is her parents staying together. Sorry about that, family comes first. Now get outta here before I send you to Hell faster than you expected to get there!"

Jericho smiled and pulled Stephanie's hair away from her face and Hunter couldn't believe what he was seeing. Aurora was sleeping soundly in her arms and Jericho was unharmed, in fact, he'd never felt better. "Oh my God, you look just like a family," he said losing his breath noticing the smile on Stephanie's face.

"That's right Hunter, we are a family. You see Aurora only acts up when both her parents are unhappy, looks like Stephanie's happy to me, what does she look like to you?" Jericho asked the Cerebral Assassin who felt like he was gonna be sick.

Jericho come over to him and looked him straight in the eye. Hunter flinched because the eye he was looking at was in Jericho's forehead.

"When is that thing gonna go away?" Hunter said revolted by the sky blue iris looking back at him.

"When this thing between us is finally over," Jericho replied, "But it's never gonna be over if you don't get Shawn Michaels to leave his wife,"

"What? I can't do that Jericho, he will never give up on Rebecca, he's completely in love with her!" Hunter insisted.

"And wouldn't you rather be in her shoes right now junior? Having Scott, Kevin, Sean and your beloved HBK all to yourself? At the same time no less, man that woman's nasty - what was Shawn thinking? Yuck!" Jericho said and Hunter stared at him in amazement.

"You know about that?" he said.

"Hunter look into my eye, I can see everything where you are concerned. I saw you hide your face in shame when The Truth came out about your feelings for Shawn. Those feelings are nothing to be ashamed of Hunter, this is your chance to be with Shawn forever - at least until you die then you'll be with me and he'll be with Lita, but God will work all that out, no need to worry about that right now. All that matters is that you can have what you've wanted for the past ten years,"

"Shawn's mad at me, it's a self-destructive fantasy and I'm not gonna be a part of it," Hunter said.

"You have no choice, you're out of options. Rebecca's going down on more men then a licensed prostitute and Shawn will not quit her unless you give him a very good reason to. He just doesn't know it yet," Chris told him and Hunter wondered if this could be a dream or a nightmare of Khali vs. Hogan proportions.


	12. The Three Witches of the Northeast Wing

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, Stephanie McMahon, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM

Eleven - The Three Witches of the Northeast Wing

East Wing of the McMahon-Helmsley Compound, 6am:

Torrie Wilson sat up in her bed staring at the TV trying to see her reflection in it. But the screen was blank just like she was, she didn't have anything to do except get up, get dressed and pretend to be happy. After all she was divorced, single and one of the Most Beautiful Women on Television according to Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler, reality was, she was getting tired of the pretence.

"Nobody wants to marry a Torrie, nobody wants to say "Good morning Torrie, can I make you some breakfast?", more like "That was fun Torrie, let's do it again sometime" and I end up alone, just like I've been since Billy and I split up," Torrie said to herself just staring into the blank television set unable to take her eyes off it. There was something about its blankness that just felt right, it felt true it was dark, black and reflected nothing: just like her. There was no flattery, no admiration, just a blank screen, "I wanna be blank, I wanna start all over again and I could have with Shawn Michaels but here comes Ms Spears, the rich bitch from SoCal who is so not a part of the WWE, does Vince care about the Divas that have been around since day one?" Torrie ranted snapping her blond curls away from her face and hitting the huge bed in her guest bedroom with her manicured hands, "Why'd you pick her over me Shawn? Is it because she's only 25 and I'm . . . I'm, well I'm a little older," Torrie let out a deep sigh, "Who am I kidding I'm a hag, no man will ever want to marry me ever again,"

Wilson drew her legs up to her cheek and sobbed. A few seconds after the TV came on, Torrie looked up and saw herself on the TV screen.

"Huh?" Torrie said furrowing her brow, she looked down at the remote but she hadn't touched it or accidentally nudged it with her foot, "What's this all about?" she wondered trying to turn the TV off. She picked up the remote and opened up the back expecting to find something wrong with the batteries but there was nothing wrong with then, "What is going on?"

The image flickered, TV Torrie's eyes started to move and her Colgate smile came to life.

"Hey you," The TV said and Torrie let rip a Melina scream. Moments later, Victoria and Mickie James came running into her room. Torrie expected them to tell her to shut up as everyone was still sleeping as far as she knew; the RAW and Smackdown Superstars were all staying over for Lita and Edge's engagement party. Only they were screaming too.

"Torrie my TV is talking to me!" Mickie James cried.

"So is mine!" Victoria said panicking which was weird because she was the toughest Diva in the WWE; if Victoria was shook Torrie knew something was very, very wrong. Torrie dived over to the TV set and tried to turn it off but Victoria told her not to bother.

"I unplugged my TV set, it didn't help and I'm freaking out!" she told her.

"I think Vince's house is haunted, I say we get the Hell outta here, Lita and Edge can send me their engagement photos via email!" Mickie James said freaking out even more as the image of Torrie Wilson looked at all three of them.

"Tut-tut ladies. Why are you acting like a bunch of pre-schoolers?" TV Torrie said.

"She sounds just like me, tell me I'm asleep and this is a nightmare?" Torrie asked Mickie and Vicky who shook their heads assuring her that it was real.

"Look over here, hey Mickie what's happening?" said TV Mickie who just popped out of nowhere and was now waving at Mickie James who turned to Torrie and started hyperventilating.

"Tell me I didn't just see me say Hello to myself?" she said panicking.

"Come on you guys look at us, don't act like you don't look at yourselves in the mirror like everyday!" TV Mickie said and Victoria came to the conclusion that the whole thing was a prank by Cryme Tyme as she saw herself appear and started to pull her hair out in fear.

"Vicky stop it, you're going to end up like Lita and God knows one of those is enough," TV Vicky said to the trembling Diva.

"Shad and JTG, they must be behind this, let's go wake those fools up and tell them this is not funny!" Victoria said and Torrie and Mickie nodded and followed her down to the West Wing where all the men were sleeping, at least in theory.

Inside Cryme Tyme's room, Layla, Ashley and Krystal were pulling John Cena through the bedroom window.

"Shad how you gonna let Layla and Krystal do all the work?" Cena said half-in-half-out the room.

"Because Ashley had to do her nails," JTG answered as Layla and Krystal pulled Cena into their room.

"Couldn't you get in the normal way like through the door?" Shad said as Layla and Krystal iced their sore wrists in the ice bucket with the bottle of Cristal in it.

"Hey this bottle of Cristal is empty," Krystal said noticing the upside down bottle in the ice bucket, "We were only meant to drink one, the rest is for Edge and Lita's engagement party,"

"They already had an engagement party, back in December at Trish and Carlito's house," Cena said picking up the ice bucket and pouring the icy water all over his face.

"Long night huh?" Ashley said putting down her nail file, "How badly are you gonna get it in ECW,"

"I'm not going to ECW I'm still the Champ!" Cena said and Cryme Tyme looked at Cena like he was crazy.

"But Vince McMahon said he stripped you of the WWE Title for what you did to Maria," Shad said.

Cena pulled up his Chain Gang jersey to reveal the WWE Title wrapped around his waist and the SD gals gasped.

"It's so beautiful," Layla said making it spin.

"And the belt's nice too!" Krystal quipped and JTG flicked some ice at her and told her to chill.

"But why do you have it?" JTG asked.

"Yeah last thing we heard, you was getting killed by Samoa Joe!" Shad added.

"What happened did he stop for donuts and lose sight of you?" JTG asked.

"No, I had a little help from an old friend, those ROH punks didn't lay a finger on me thanks to Randy Orton," Cena explained.

"Oh my God how long do we have to stand here before we get some attention!" Victoria yelled and Layla, Ashley and Krystal tried to get them out of Cryme Tyme's room.

"You guys can see Shad and JTG anytime, right now we're the only females Cryme Tyme got tyme for!" Krystal said trying to get Victoria's foot from the crook of the door.

"Let's swap, Cryme Tyme for Cena, take his baby killing ass back to Smackdown!" Mickie James said forcing her legs through the door.

"No way, he's not even a main eventer anymore, he's going to ECW with the rest of the losers," Ashley said pushing Torrie Wilson's head away from the door but Torrie caught Ashley by her hair and pulled it hard causing Layla and Krystal to defend her and release their grip on the door allowing Victoria, Mickie and Torrie into the room.

"Bitch, get out of my way!" Torrie roared.

"Man it's good to be back in the RAW locker room," Cena said with a smile as Torrie hit Ashley with a Nose Job and Mickie and Vicky attacked Shad and JTG screaming something about a talking TV screen.

"What are you bitches talking about?" JTG said and Victoria went nuts on him for calling him a bitch and kicked him in the nuts.

"Oh man that hurt - but in a good way, do it again!" JTG said and Victoria pulled back in disgust.

"Just fix our TVs, we need to get back to the East Wing before Vince kicks us out of here," Victoria said and Cryme Tyme looked at her like she was crazy.

"Guys please, we know you have a knack for running the craziest ribs next to DX, just fix our TVs and then we'll call it even," Torrie Wilson said.

"Torrie we've been in here since we arrived, we haven't left our room once, except to go and find some of the finest women to play strip poker with," Shad said winking at the SD Divas, "So we ain't got nuthin to do with ya'll TVs acting up, why don't you listen to the radio our something?"

"So you guys didn't go in our rooms at all last night?" Mickie James asked Cryme Tyme who insisted that they were crazy and asked the SD girls to escort them out slowly and preferably removing their pajamas while they did it.

"Wait, why are you guys so freaked out?" Cena asked the RAW Divas.

"Shouldn't you be buried in the desert somewhere? You killed Maria's baby what are you doing here John?" Victoria said angrily.

"I know I messed up alright? But that's why I'm here! You guys, something unbelievable has happened - Maria's still gonna have a baby girl!" Cena told them and the girls jumped up and down screaming with joy.

"You mean you didn't kill the baby?" Torrie said relieved.

"No I killed the baby but there's another one on the way!" Cena said hysterically relieved that he could breathe easy again now that Maria was still going to have a child.

"How is that possible, was she pregnant with twins?" Shad asked popping open another bottle of Edge and Lita's engagement Cristal in celebration of this joyous occasion.

"No, remember how Randy got baptized and became TKO: The King's Oracle?" Cena explained and the wrestlers nodded, "Well Randy showed me a picture of Maria pregnant, that's when I lost it, but then he showed it to me again and this time Punk was in it and he was holding a baby girl and Maria was lying in a hospital bed sleeping peacefully like she had just given birth. Don't you see, Maria and Punk are gonna have another baby I'm off the hook!"

"Yeah but you still killed the first one," Shad said killing Cena's buzz, "I'm sorry but you still messed up dog and if you think Vince is gonna put that belt back around your waist just because Punk's got some strong man juice, you're dead wrong,"

"Ah but I do have the belt around my waist," Cena said showing off the gold once again, "And that's where it's gonna stay until Vince changes his mind, nobody's gonna take this away from me, Krystal you're welcome to try,"

"Please I'd rather spend time with the RAW Divas then the RAW Champion; at least they're mildly entertaining. Come on Wilson show us your messed up TV, maybe when they get here we can ask Edge and Lita to add the good news about Maria's baby to their engagement toast," Krystal said joyfully as the RAW Divas left Cryme Tyme's room with the SD girls following behind them making a list of girl names for the lovely young mom-to-be. Shad and JTG weren't quite as excited.

"Unless you're gonna give our boys Jeff Hardy and Shelton Benjamin another title shot, you can leave too," JTG said and Shad nodded, "They deserve that belt just as much as you did when you got started, they've both been on RAW a lot longer than you have,"

"Okay," Cena sighed, "I'll ask Vince to have a Number 1 Contender's match for the WWE Championship on Monday, now please can we be friends? I don't wanna be isolated anymore, I feel like the missing link in my own chain gang,"

Shad and JTG laughed and handed Cena another unopened bottle of Cristal, "Here," Shad said holding up his bottle along with JTG, "To RAW," he said.

"To RAW," Cena and JTG echoed and they clinked their bottles together and drank to their brand.

"Edge and Lita are lucky, this is some good shit," Cena said, "Where are the King and Queen of the Rated R Kingdom anyway?"

Shad and JTG shrugged, "Let me call my boy HBK and find out," JTG said dialing HBK's cell and Cena frowned wondering why he didn't have HBK's cell phone number, he shrugged and figured Cryme Tyme broke into Shawn's cell-phone unaware that they bailed him out back in Jamaica and he owed them a solid.

Trish and Carlito's, Boca Vista, FL. 6:30am:

"Hey JTG, what's really hood playa?" HBK said with his arm around Melina while Nitro tried to pull her away from him.

"Shawn let go of my wife!" Nitro said as Melina laughed at her jealous husband.

"You guys please don't fight over me? There's plenty of mamacitas to go around, right ladies?" she said looking over at Trish and Lita who were about to get back into the pool.

"Sorry, engaged," Lita said holding up the engagement ring around her neck.

"Sorry not interested," Trish said getting into the water onto Carlito's shoulders and resting her virgin colada in his hair.

"Well can you tell these guys to stop at least?" Melina complained.

"Melina you're the one holding onto HBK's waist," Lita told the Latina who let Shawn go and sat back next to Nitro embarrassed.

"I'm sorry Shawn, sometimes I get you two mixed up," Melina said and Nitro gasped in horror.

"He's like twenty years older than me!" Nitro said.

"Yeah but men get better looking with age," HBK said and Nitro scowled at him and Trish raised a weary eyebrow.

"If you say what you're about to say Johnny, HBK's gonna super kick you into the pool," she warned the athletic glamour puss.

"Oh yeah, well let me take my shoes off," Nitro said taking off his Nike's and removing his shades _finally_, "Men get better looking with age huh? So that's why Nash, Hall, Jarrett aka the Oldest Guys of Wrestling are all banging your wife?"

"Oh no, he did not go there!" Ron "The Truth" Killings said and Lance Hoyt nodded.

"He went there, bought a t shirt and sent Shawn a postcard from Dissedneyland," Lance said sipping his beer. When Nitro saw the crestfallen look on HBK's face instead of the cocky arrogant smirk he really hated he felt really bad, like the way he felt for Randy Orton when he lost four of his five senses last week.

"Shawn I shouldn't have said that I'm sorry, please accept my apology, there's no excuse for what Rebecca did to you, if I could do anything to take it back I would," Nitro said and Shawn smiled slightly.

"Thanks Nitro," he said.

"There is one thing you could do Johnny boy," said Raven emerging out of the shadows with Kazarian by his side waving his kendo stick around like it was a party streamer.

HBK rolled his eyes, "Still here huh? Melina healed your drug-filled body and you're still imagining things, what do you want Raven cos you can't have me," Shawn said and Jay Lethal snickered, "What?" Shawn said turning to the X Division star in irritation with Kazarian.

"Is Lita and Edge coming or can we finish this whole thing now?" Cena said referring to the case of Cristal they stole from the McMahon's private reserve in their massive kitchen. Shad picked up his partner in cryme's cell phone.

"Shad go to the North wing of the McMahon estate and get Hunter," HBK said.

Shad heard two choruses of Sweet Chin Music, "Who was that?" he asked.

"Frankie Kazarian and Johnny Nitro," Shawn answered.

"You know I apologized!" Nitro complained holding his jaw while Trish gave him her "I told you so" look.

"Where are you?" Shad asked him confused.

"At Carlito and Trish's house, they're having a party," Shawn explained.

"A party? For who?" Shad asked.

"For Edge and Lita," Shawn replied tuning up the band.

"But Edge is here, Vince McMahon's throwing Edge and Lita and engagement party tonight? He bought cases of Cristal, loads of fancy food . . . who was that?" Shad asked after hearing another Sweet Chin Music.

"Sonjay Dutt," Shawn replied raising his foot one more time.

"And who was that one for?" Shad asked hearing the unmistakable sound of Shawn's heel smacking bone.

"Nitro again, yeah I know you apologized but if you keep looking at me like that, Melina's gonna be accompanying me to the ring!" Shawn replied and saw a few more TNA wrestlers ready to try him and Melina blushed much to Nitro's chagrin, "Are you outside Hunter's bedroom yet?" Shawn asked Shad.

"Okay I'm on my way but Vince McMahon's gonna be pissed if I wake him up, his room is in the North wing too," Shad said while Cena watched over JTG in the bathroom, he had drunk just a little too much Cristal.

"I wouldn't worry, Vince doesn't know the meaning of the word sleep he probably stayed up last night waiting for me to come over . . . hey Shad can I ask you something?" Shawn said twirling a lock of his metallic blue hair around his finger before super-kicking James Mitchell squah in the jaw.

"Get him!" Mitchell barked at Abyss who took one look at Shawn and ran the other way, "Hey Sting you can have him!" Mitchell called out to the Stinger who ignored him; he was having a deep conversation with Kurt Angle about God.

"And the Lord said "Let there be light!" and behold we have light, no matter how dark things get, you can always depend on the Light of God to see you through the darkness," Sting said and Kurt Angle nodded, Sting often comforted him in times of distress unlike HBK who currently was the cause of his distress.

"Man why didn't I keep my boots on?" Shawn complained after kicking Raven into the pool after Kazarian, Sabin and Senshi; his feet were killing him now. He limped over to Kurt Angle and Sting, "Brethren how sweet it is for us to dwell together under one roof, Kurt you're familiar with everything ankle related, can you rub me foot until the feeling comes back?"

Sting averted his eyes as Kurt Angle put his mouth guard back in and Angle Slammed HBK into the pool where all the other TNA wrestler's started fighting with him.

"Come on we've gotta help him, RAW represent!" Randy Orton said diving into the water, "Come on Carlito!" Randy called to the cool one who wasn't moving.

"Carlito come on!" Shelton said fighting off the X Division guys but Carlito just stood there staring into the water. Trish smiled.

"Do you feel it?" she asked her beloved Puerto Rican lover.

Carlito nodded slowly as the water started to flow around him and then suddenly a light hit it and he could see an image of some kind in the water, he didn't know what it was but it was awesome. The wrestlers stopped fighting and jumped out of the pool in fear, only ATM, HBK and TKO stayed in the pool with Carlito.

"Trish is this the revelation?" Melina asked coming over to her sisters in Christ.

Trish nodded, "My baby's about to find out how he's gonna help us fulfill God's Divine Plan here on Earth," Trish said as the water swelled up and covered Carlito enveloping him like a mini typhoon. Then ATM and TKO heard God speak.

Carlito Caribbean Cool, you have been called by the Lord your God to help the angelic trio known to you as ATM. You are assigned to my beloved Trish Stratus as her confidant, her aide in times of distress. From this moment you are no longer known as Carlito Caribbean Cool but as Carlito El Con Dios (Carlito talks with God). You and I shall talk and you will give The Truth: Trish Status My messages when she is out of reach. Go forth My son and be blessed.

The water stabilized and Carlito shone like an angel for about ten seconds before the light went away and then he fell back into Trish's arms like a beautiful flower swaying in the Florida sunshine.

"Puedo hablar con el dios . . I can talk to God," Carlito said enraptured by the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of him.

"Yes you can my love because in a couple of weeks I won't be able to hear God," Trish told Carlito who frowned at his beloved Canadian Diva.

"Why not?" he asked her caressing her lovingly.

"I can't tell you, all that matters is that I can depend on you to do what I won't be able to and that is to keep the communication between God and ATM flowing," Trish replied and Carlito looked at her with concern but her smile was too bright to hold it there long.

"I'll always be there for you Trish," Carlito said sincerely and Trish nodded.

"Good because God's counting on you my love," she replied and ATM encircled Carlito and Randy leaving Shawn alone in the shimmering water wondering what God was gonna give him to help out Lita. If what God had given Randy and Carlito was any indication, it was gonna be great but Lita couldn't wait to find out.

"Trish ask God what power he's gonna give Shawn," Lita asked The Truth who shook her head.

"Sorry honey you'll just have to wait and see, I will say this much, his phone will never stop ringing," Trish answered and Lita scratched her wig wondering what that meant and realized she hadn't called Edge, he had no idea she was bailing on her own engagement party. _I sure hope Vince didn't have anything big planned_, she thought even though she knew he did but as far as her old boss was concerned, he could SUCK IT.

Back in the North East Wing of the McMahon-Helmsley estate, Torrie Wilson, Mickie James and Victoria had all disappeared and Krystal, Layla and Ashley didn't know what to do.

"They're gone!" Ashley said.

"But where did they go?" Layla said confused.

"This must be a rib; I hate ribs especially when there's nothing on them!" Krystal complained.

"Krys will you stop thinking about food? Everytime you get tense you think about food, just like at the pre-Christmas party in the Caribbean, how do you keep that figure with your appetite?" Ashley complained.

"Guys," Layla said standing straight up like she'd seen a ghost.

"I mean I never see you at the gym, how do you do it?" Ashley continued.

"Shut up Massaro," Layla said and Ashley was about to switch on the 2006 RAW Diva Search winner when she saw what had gotten Layla's attention.

It was Torrie, Mickie and Vicky but they looked like Trish, Melina and Lita.

"Did you guys get an Xtreme Makeover too?" Krystal asked confused.

"Yeah you look just like ATM," Ashley said amazed.

The three women looked at each other and laughed so wickedly the SD girls huddled together in fear; they weren't afraid to fight them but they were alone in with them in Torrie's guest room, whoever they were and things were getting very strange indeed.

"You hear that Vicky, she thinks your Lita," Mickie James laughed.

"So I guess that makes you Melina right?" Victoria said to Mickie James.

"Yeah and that makes me Trish Stratus," Torrie said to both of them.

Then the three women glared at Layla, Krystal and Ashley who decided to run but there was no point there was no escaping them. The three women dragged the SD Divas back by their hair and started to beat them within an inch of their lives.

"Somebody help us!" Ashley cried as Torrie swung her around by her hair knocking over the vase on her nightstand and dashing her across the antique armoire like a rag doll she didn't like anymore.

Victoria tossed Layla over the bed and into the wall almost breaking the new Diva in half while Mickie James punched Krystal's face in until she started to bleed from the nose and her eye swelled up. The SD Divas were left a broken mass of silicone and body glitter by the three women that they thought were angels, but they weren't ATM, they were here to destroy ATM and everything they stood for on God's green Earth.


	13. Footloose

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, Stephanie McMahon, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM

Twelve - Footloose

Trish and Carlito's House, 7am:

Jay Lethal clenched his jaw, "Ah man, we have got to get him to sign to TNA, that Super Kick is awesome!" he said and Sonjay, Senshi and Sabin agreed.

"I think someone may take exception to that Lethal," Lance Hoyt said as James Storm approached the Showstoppa with Miss. Tennessee beside him.

"You kick good boy," Storm said, "Care to try that on me?"

Shawn glanced over at Jacqueline who glared at him with more attitude than the cast of Girlfriends, "Miss. Tennessee, if you came in 1st place what did your rack get?" Shawn asked flirtatiously and Jacqueline blushed and James Storm didn't like that one bit.

"You got some nerve coming onto Miss. Tennessee, word around here is you can't even get it done in the bedroom," Storm said agitated by Shawn's way with the ladies.

"True story, my wife's getting it on right now, I guess one man just wasn't enough for her, even if he is the best Super-kicker in the business," Shawn said trying to get a rise out of James Storm, who also used the Super kick as a finisher. Storm grimaced, finished his beer and smashed the bottle on the ground.

"Why don't we put that to the test, see that piñata up there?" James said pointing to the colorful decoration Trish had made by hand, "First guy to knock it down, in one shot, is officially the master of the Super kick, what do you say to that boy?"

Shawn recoiled at the smell of James' breath, "I say try a breath mint cowboy and you're on," HBK replied and Shelton, Carlito and Randy cheered him on.

"You can kick the ass off that piñata and James Storm," Randy assured HBK.

"And I'd like a bite of Miss. Tennessee, damn I miss black female wrestlers," Shelton said inspecting Storm's latest eye candy.

"What about Krystal? She's single?" Randy said.

"Yeah and totally out of my league," Shelton said scratching the back of his head bashfully.

"Come on bro where's that attitude Shawn's always asking you about? Shawn you're phone's ringing," Randy said recognizing the gospel ring tone. It was Shad from Cryme Tyme.

"Shad okay great, look I need you to go inside Hunter's room and turn on his stereo. He listens to Motorhead's Ace of Spades first thing in the morning, but I'm warning you don't stand too close to him, he plays air guitar and he really takes it seriously,"

"Okay, I'm going in," Shad said while the TNA and RAW guys walked over to the piñata for the TNA vs. WWE SuperKick Showdown.

"Well check this out, Hunter's not alone," Shad said creeping up on the Cerebral Assassin.

"Is he with Stephanie? If she's not wearing the XXL Triple H jersey leave right now, I don't want you to get fired for peeping in on the boss' daughter," Shawn said.

"Didn't do Hunter any harm," Shad replied and Shawn sighed in despair.

"Oh yes it did, is she naked or what? I mean it Shad, get out of there if a nipple is showing that ain't Hunter's," Shawn warned Cryme Tyme's tallest member.

"Oh there's nipples showing alright, two are Hunter's and two are Chris Jericho's . . . what did I just say? Tell me this is not two men in bed together!" Shad said starting to freak out.

"You got a video phone?" Shawn asked.

"Hell yeah I got a video phone," Shad said offended.

"Well turn it on!" Shawn demanded and Shad obeyed and Shawn saw Hunter sleeping in bed with Chris Jericho, Aurora and Stephanie McMahon.

"Wake him up now!" Shawn roared and Shad turned on the flashy stereo and Motorhead's Ace of Spades blasted through the speakers waking up Jericho, Stephanie, Aurora and Hunter who was jumping up and down on his bed doing his impression of the lead guitarist from Motorhead.

"Shad what are you doing in here it's 6 in the morning!" Stephanie yelled shielding herself from her husband's roving arms and head-banging head.

"Actually its 7 and what are you doing in bed with two men at once?" Shad asked the billion dollar princess.

"Trying to keep warm, Aurora's kind of confused she doesn't know which one of us to be mad at, so she's just breathing cold air on all of us and I'm trying to keep her warm," Stephanie replied, "Hey Shawn!" she said waving to the video of HBK fuming on Shad's cell phone.

"Good morning DX killer," Shawn said, "Ruin any other friendships this morning or are you still digesting the last one you devoured?"

"Yeah, I'm full but I'm tired of this conversation, enjoy your new life down in Florida with the rest of the WWE rejects," Stephanie replied, "I think we'll be fine without you,"

"We? Who's we?" Shawn asked confused.

"The WWE that's the "we" I'm talking about, I came up with a solution to our problem and that's why I'm choosing friendship and family, I can have them both, only unlike your sexually starved wife, I will just enjoy the company of Chris Jericho with my panties on!" Stephanie said laughing at Shawn's mortified expression and Hunter turned down his music certain he could hear something coming from the bathroom.

"You can have anything you want you've got the world at your beck and call, do you have to have the other side of DX too, my favorite side?" Shawn asked anxious that he was never gonna see Hunter again.

"I thought you liked the sugary side?" Shad asked Shawn.

"Not now Shad!" HBK said impatiently.

"What's the matter Shawn, can't get to the top on your own?" Stephanie said talking directly into the phone.

"You know I never had a problem getting to the top but I want Hunter there with me!" Shawn said and Hunter blushed, _I love you too Shawnie_ he thought sincerely.

"Well T.S Sexy Boy because he can get to the top with me, he doesn't need you, the WWE doesn't need you, Hell nobody needs you, not even your wife needs you! In fact I think the only person that needs you is a desperate single mom and ex wife of an overrated and over-exposed Eminem wannabe from Los Angeles how sad is that?" Stephanie roared not even knowing where these words were coming from but Jericho knew it was the dark side of her coming out and he loved it, "You hear me Shawn Michaels? Nobody wants you here in the WWE!"

Suddenly the bathroom door burst open and everybody covered their mouths as The Rock came out.

"Shut your mouth!" The Rock yelled furiously, "I want him!"

"Damn Rock, The People need a courtesy flush," Shad said waving his hand in front of his face furious at the funky smell Rocky had left in the bathroom.

"The Rock needs Shawn in the WWE and so does your father, you know the owner of the WWE. I'm facing him at WM23 and if you're not down with that, The Rock's got three words for ya - so F'N what?"

"What the Hell are you doing hiding in my bathroom Rocky?" Stephanie yelled furiously.

"I must have forgotten to mention that but I was in there most of the night, you see my toilet broke, Carlito is a terrible cook, the People's ass may never recover! And speaking of ass Jericho get out of Stephanie McMahon's bed you hot tamale, I told you to leave The Helmsleys alone!"

Rocky kicked Jericho out of Stephanie's bed and Shad laughed, Hunter couldn't help but smile as Jericho hopped up and down holding his ass in pain and humiliation, the way he always ended up when Rocky came to town. Rocky looked into Shad's phone at HBK, "Don't worry Shawn, everything's cool; you've still got a place here in the WWE if The Rock has anything to say about it,"

Shawn smiled at The People's Champ, "You've always got something to say Rocky and for once it was worth listening to,"

"And aren't you so glad! Now get your sexy ass back to Connecticut, we've got an engagement party to plan, oh yeah and bring Lita with you, Edge is looking for her," Rocky said and was about to hang up when he saw Shawn waving at him.

"Rocky give Hunter Shad's phone please?" Shawn asked The Rock who passed it over to the embarrassed Triple H.

"I'M BACK!" Shawn said in his best Kane voice.

"Ha-ha!" Hunter said rolling his eyes, "Look I'm tired so leave me alone okay? I'm going back to sleep, I'm gonna stay here with my wife and kids remember those Shawn? Think about that while you're sucking face with your new friends in TNA!" Hunter snapped and flipped Shad's phone closed and dove back into bed ignoring the eyes staring at him.

"So you're still mad at Shawn?" Shad asked and everybody rolled their eyes.

"Look either get in here or get the Hell out!" Hunter said angrily and Shad shrugged and crawled into Stephanie's huge bed alongside The Rock, Jericho and Hurricane Aurora who had never felt warmer in her life, unlike the dejected, rejected and feeling-so-neglected Cerebral Assassin who missed the sugary side of DX so much it hurt.

"What was that?" The Rock said at the sound of something exploding coming from Shad's phone.

"Looks like Shawn just super-kicked a piñata, ole!" Shad said and The Rock gulped; he was gonna have to block that move, after all he was an actor, his face was his most valuable asset after his sweet ass. Suddenly he felt an arm snake around his waist, then another one, then another one and then another one which was Stephanie McMahon's.

"Hunter we need to talk about your marriage bruh," Rocky said to Triple H who mumbled something about kicking his ass all the way back to Miami so Rock just went to sleep deciding it would be better to wait until all the RAW Superstars were at the McMahon-Helmsley Compound and then everybody could have their say on the future of RAW and of Degeneration X, even though The Rock knew that ultimately only one point-of-view mattered and he and his wife were just two doors down.

Back at Trish and Carlito's . . .

The wrestlers were picking up the candy that had spilled out the piñata HBK just super-kicked open and James Storm stormed away in embarrassment as his co-workers called him 'pussycat' after his ex-partner Wildcat Chris Harris.

"Shawn Michaels you rock!" Chris Sabin said munching on a jaw breaker, "Ow!"

"You're supposed to suck 'em down you idiot," Sonjay Dutt said helping himself to a handful of twzzlers, "You want one?" he said handing one of the red twisty candy sticks to HBK the best possible acquisition TNA could ever have if he decided to sign with them. Shawn bit his lip.

"Is that sweet or sour flavored?" he said his eyes glazed over.

Sonjay looked over at Jay who looked over at Sabin who looked up at Lance Hoyt who asked Ron Killings, "What's up with him?"

"Looks like HBK's got a sweet tooth," Killings replied.

"Give me that!" HBK said almost gnawing Sonjay's hand off.

"Shawn act your age - ooh Gummi Bears!" Sting said reaching for the multi-colored teddy bears when Abyss put his foot down where most of the candies had fallen and grunted for everyone to step back. The wrestlers all turned to look at Shawn Michaels who was just tuning up the band when he froze mid-Superkick and grabbed his foot in pain.

"I can't my foot's too sore, Kurt!" Shawn called and the Olympic Gold Medalist looked up in the air like he didn't see him, "Come here you bald headed freak!"

"Hey!" Lita said offended and Shawn blew her a kiss, "What am I supposed to do with that Shawn? I'm going I need Edge, see you later guys I've had enough," Lita said getting out of the pool with Trish and Melina.

"Yeah I think we've partied hard enough," Trish said.

"We haven't done anything except get wet let's get wild!" Melina said dancing around like Shakira.

"Honey you're a servant of God you can't act that way," Trish said, "All the sexy women in the Bible were bad,"

"Na-uh what about Rahab?" Melina said whining her body like a corkscrew.

"She ran a brothel," Trish said.

"So, Mary Magdalene was an adultress and Jesus told her to spread the Word!" Melina said doing the splits.

"HOWL!" The men yelped excited by Melina's awesome moves.

"So let me understand you're advocating prostitution?" Sting asked the dancing Diva.

"No, I'm advocating having a good time come on Nitro let's show the Stinger how we get down in LA!" Melina said as Shakira's Hips Don't Lie came on the stereo.

"Carlito you're not helping!" Trish said admonishing her boyfriend who chose the music.

"I know but I love to see women dance, it turns me on," Carlito said admiring Melina's curvaceous body and Trish was instantly threatened.

"Really? Well come here Carlos let me show you how sexy we Canadians can be eh?" she said beckoning her lover to her while backing up on Melina, "Turn around honey, I wanna dance with you,"

"Trish I'm married," Melina said.

"So is Rebecca Michaels and Stephanie McMahon and both are in bed with three men right now!" Trish said grinding up against Melina's back.

"What!" HBK said, "Who's in bed with my best friend's wife?" he asked joining in.

"Chris Jericho, Shad Gasbard and The Rock," Trish answered dancing up on Carlito while Melina danced with Nitro, "Oh and her husband Triple H so I guess that's four men,"

"My God it's like a Snickers bar, nougat, caramel, chocolate and Chris Jericho the nut! I've gotta get to the McMahon Compound right away and eat that - I mean stop that debauchery before Hunter end up in Hell!" Shawn said panicking while stuffing as many candies into his jean pockets as possible, "Kurt please rub my feet I gotta go man!"

"What the Hell Shawn you can't just walk up to an Olympic Gold Medalist and ask him to rub your feet, I'm a highly respected athlete here in TNA and you want me to get down on my knees and rub your unusually attractive, soft and slender feet? Shawn how pretty are these toes, what you get a pedicure or something?" Angle said inspecting Shawn's feet.

"No I just take good care of them, they go through a lot you know, what with me kicking people left, right and center all day," Shawn said eating a gummy worm.

"These are the most beautiful feet I have ever seen," Sting said bowing down to get a closer look at the Showstoppa's feet.

"Stop it Steve you're making me blush," Shawn said going a little red as Kurt and Sting adimired his feet, Angle especially.

"Hey Stratus, you got any massage oils in your bathroom? I think I need to give a fellow believer a hand with his sore feet," Angle said fingering Shawn's toes giving HBK an nervous feeling in his stomach and he suddenly pulled his foot away.

"You know what Kurt that's fine don't worry about it I'll just limp to Universals Studios, come on guys my wife isn't expecting us and it's time for her wake up call!" Shawn said waving the RAW Superstars over.

"Wait-a-minute Shawn didn't you offer to rub my feet back when we were in the Caribbean for the pre-Christmas party when they were hurting me like that?" Lita said wrapping her arm around Shawn.

"Yeah so what you're a woman it's acceptable for a man to rub a woman's feet," Shawn said in his own defense.

"Even if she's getting married to a guy who can't stand you?" Randy Orton said raising a cynical eyebrow, "I can't imagine Edge not freaking out about Lita being here and not there in the Northeast with the other RAW and Smackdown Superstars right now,"

"Let him freak out she's my eternal soul mate and she doesn't work for VKM anymore, I just wish Becky could understand that it doesn't mean I've stopped loving her," Shawn said sadly.

"Here's the oils you wanted," Trish said handing Kurt Angle an array of expensive massage oils from San Juan laughing cheekily at the expression on Shawn's face when Kurt started to open a bottle, "Oh and psst - the oil's anointed," she added remembering when she gave the oil set to Lita to look at when she was over last time.

"Could you roll up Shawn's pant leg Stinger?" Kurt said oiling up his hands and Shawn watched as Sting proceeded to roll up his jeans.

"It would be my pleasure," Sting said and Shawn gasped.

"What do you mean it would be your pleasure? Are you trying to tell me something or am I just not down with how ya'll run things down here in TNA?" Shawn said defensively and Sting pushed him down so he was sitting with his legs up on Kurt Angle's lap.

"Pipe down choir boy and let the man rub your feet," Sting said and HBK started to panic as Angle massaged the expensive oils between his toes, pressing his hands into the balls of his feet gently while gripping the side of his foot firmly so the oil bled into his sore skin. Shawn didn't like it and tried to pull his foot back but Angle was getting into it, he was like a pro only not with wrestling, with feet and all areas below the knee.

"Kurt you got skills, hey do mine next will ya?" Shelton said taking his sneakers off.

"Put your shoes back on Shelton, these feet are exceptional and they need to be rubbed by an exceptional athlete," Kurt said arrogantly and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"I don't know why you keep blowing your own horn, I'm better than you and Shelton," HBK said with even more arrogance.

"What the Hell is that supposed to mean?" Kurt snapped angrily.

"What do you think it means?" Shawn said as Sting turned away to hide the fact that he was laughing at Kurt's outraged expression.

"He has no idea how hot he is," Lita said amazed at Shawn's simple beauty.

"He's not all that," Nitro said jealously, "Look at my feet they're f***ing A!"

"No f***ing swearing!" Trish said angrily.

"Sorry," Nitro said and Lita frowned at Trish.

"But you just swore," she said.

"Yeah it's my f***ing house," Trish said again and everyone gasped at her.

"Trish you can't curse you're a servant of God," Nitro said.

"I can f***ing say whatever I f***ing want, that why I'm the mutha-f***ing Truth Trish Stratus eh? I say what's on my f***ing mind!" Trish said again and Melina told Carlito to turn off the music and pulled Lita over to her side.

"She's possessed," Mel said to Li.

"Big time possessed but by who or what?" Randy said gathering around them.

"No time to find out, pass me my hand bag," Lita said and Randy brought her bag over to her and Lita pulled out HBK's Tallit, the one that Randy used to save Shawn's life earlier on in the week. Lita wrapped it around Trish and started to pray with Randy and Melina but something happened and she stopped praying.

"Lita what's wrong?" Randy asked the Anointed one and Lita just stared into space.

"Mel are you okay?" Nitro asked his wife who was also staring into space.

"What's wrong with them?" Shelton asked Carlito who wasn't sure either.

"They're possessed!" HBK cried, "Kurt, Stinger, throw the oils into the pool hurry!" he said pulling down his pant leg and grabbing Lita, "Randy grab Melina, Carlito grab Trish, on the count of three I want you to pray, Steve, Kurt is the oil in the water?"

"Yeah, what are you doing Shawn?" Kurt asked his former WWE rival.

"Nevermind what I'm gonna do, just bless the water now!" Shawn replied and Sting and Kurt bowed their heads and clensed the water saying, "Be clensed by a pure heart and purified by the Blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, Amen."

"It's pure!" Sting cried out.

"Okay 1-2-3 -PRAY!" Shawn cried out and Randy and Carlito began to pray in tongues while Shawn threw Lita, Trish and Melina into the water one-by-one.

"Oh my God!" Christie Hemme cried as the water started to bubble, all the TNA wrestlers watched in fear for their lives as the clear blue water turned black.

"What's happening are they turning into demons?" James Mitchell asked holding onto his monster Abyss who looked like a cuddly teddy bear compared to what he was seeing in the water.

"We gotta help them," Carlito said and Randy agreed but Shawn held them back.

"We already have, look," he said calmly as the water subsided and Lita, Trish and Melina went back to their normal selves.

"Are you guys okay?" AJ Styles asked getting back into the pool to help them out.

"AJ no!" Shawn cried out jumping over to AJ and pulling him back before he could put his foot in the water. The X Division stars watched as AJ started to fight HBK like he had been filled with this sudden urge to kill and he had, because the demon that had possessed ATM or at least tried to was still in the water.

"I thought it was purified?" Angle asked Sting.

"Yes but not enough, we need more of that oil!" Sting said.

"No you don't, you just need Carlito," Carlito said and the El Con Dios stepped into the pool and instantly the demon fled.

"Whoa!" everybody went, "Now that was cool!"

"How did you do that?" Melina asked Carlito.

"I talk to God and he said "Get in the water," so I got in the water, I guess I'm one of you guys now, I can do the cool stuff too!" Carlito said with a cool smile.

Trish ran into Carlito's arms while Lita and Melina got out of the pool and pulled AJ off of HBK.

"I bind you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, demon leave this body now!" Lita said clutching AJ Styles to her tightly while Melina prayed over them. Suddenly AJ was back to his happy-go-lucky self not remembering what just happened only wondering why HBK was smiling at him.

"Shawn are you gay for me or something?" he said furrowing his brow and HBK raised a suggestive eyebrow wiggling his toes in AJ's face, "Oh you heard about my phenomenal foot massage techniques, who blabbed was it Daniels?"

"No-one blabbed," Shawn said laying on his back while Lita and Melina explained what just happened to the other wrestlers, "I'm just not so bothered by having a man touch my feet anymore. It feels kinda good,"

"It sounds like you're gay for somebody, as long as I'm not that somebody give me those gorgeous feet!" AJ said rubbing his hands together only to have Kurt Angle swat him away like a fly.

"Hit the road rookie, this is a job for the wrestling machine!" Kurt said and he grabbed Shawn flipped his onto his stomach and applied the Angle Massage.

"Look Shawn Michaels is tapping out again!" Nitro said pointing at the former WWE veteran and his arch rival.

Lita smiled thinking Shawn was letting his guard down at last knowing that it would take a lot more than a foot massage to get back into Hunter's good graces but it was a start.

TKO, El Con Dios and TM - A followed Lita as she packed up Shawn's Tallit, "We gotta get Becky over to Paula White Ministries, then after Pastor White's put that woman straight, we can go to Connecticut and straighten out this thing with DX and ATM,"

"What ATM, you mean you guys?" Shelton asked confused.

"No I mean the other ATM," Lita replied and the guys looked at her confused, "I'll explain on the way, come on Showstoppa, show's over, it's time to get back to the wife and kids,"

"Okay Lita, I'll be right there," Shawn said giving Kurt and Sting a hug before skipping over to his eternal soul mate, he looked back over his shoulder and gave a thumbs-up to Angle a kiss causing the Olympic Gold Medalist to smile.

"I'm the greatest foot massager in the whole wrestling world," Kurt said proudly.

"When did you become such a foot massage expert?" The Stinger asked Kurt.

"I didn't know what I was doing, I just wanted to touch his feet," Kurt replied.

"You mean you've never done that before?" Stinger asked confused, "Then how come you did it so well?"

"Sting I'm Kurt Angle, the best at being the best at anything I put my hands on, oh it's true, it's damn true - whoooo!" Kurt Angle said doing his little dance.

"Um you can't say that anymore, you're supposed to say "It's real, it's damn real" remember?" Sting admonished his Christian friend who nodded and walked along with the rest of the roster behind ATM, TKO, El Con Dios and a regenerated Degenerate and an army of TNA wrestlers.


	14. The Open Door

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Thirteen - The Open Door

TNA Headquarters, Universal Studios, 8am:

The door of Paparazzi Productions office was closed but Rebecca's eyes were slightly open and her head was killing her. She was literally hanging over the couch in the Big Sexy office waiting for Kevin Nash to get out of the shower and resume last night's sinful activities. Forcing her eyes open she saw Scott Hall lying back in a lazy chair flicking through the TV channels.

"Hey Scottie," she said expecting a warm greeting but none came, "I say hey Scottie," she said again but Razor just stared at the TV like she wasn't even there and in his mind, she wasn't. Together Nash, Hall and Jarrett had done every conceivable thing that a perverted mind would want to do to a woman and he wasn't prepared to talk about it in the clear blue morning light, unlike Double J who was already on the phone to Alex and Austin bragging about it and laying out all the finer details for Impact show next week. As much as he loved Rebecca and Shawn Scottie had to see this thing out, Kevin was his blood brother of nearly twenty years and he was convinced that he knew what he was doing. He never abandoned Kevin before and he wasn't going to anytime soon.

"You okay Becky?" Scottie asked still keeping his eyes on the TV.

Rebecca shrugged, "Yeah I guess, my head is killing me how much did I drink last night?"

Scottie laughed, "You didn't touch any alcohol, there's no liquor in this office because Big Kev doesn't drink, so how can you be hung over?"

Rebecca swung her legs around so she was facing Scottie and thought about his question; she didn't remember drinking either so why did she feel so terrible?

"Oh," she said soberly, "I know why I feel so bad," she said getting to her feet and swaying her hips seductively as she approached Scott Hall, "It was because my head kept banging against the side of the coffee table,"

Scott Hall looked up amazed at the woman he knew more intimately than he ever thought he would in the space of 24hrs, "Hey yo, relax will ya? You spent the whole night on your back don't you wanna rest a little before we start the party up again?" he asked her as she straddled his hips with her bare legs. Rebecca grabbed the TV remote and threw it across the room, she flicked her hair over her shoulder and pulled Hall's face close to her own and smiled.

"You don't tell me when to stop, I tell you when to stop," she said and Scottie was lost for words.

"You're amazing," he said mesmerized by her radiant beauty, "Shawn should have stayed home man, instead of going out there and telling VKM to SUCK IT, he should have been telling you to SUCK IT," he purred as Rebecca snapped his fly open.

"Rebecca stop!" Lita said after HBK super-kicked the door in and grabbed his wife and put Scott Hall's head through the TV screen, it was turned off fortunately for Razor Ramon.

"Scottie!" Nash cried coming out of the bathroom a towel around his waist and pulled HBK back by his ponytail and threw him down on the floor pinning him with his leg, "You okay brotha?"

"You know this is the best TV I've watched in a long time," Scott replied always able to see the humor in the worst of situations and this was right up there as one of the worst situations the Kliq had ever been in.

"Lita, Melina, Trish would you like to join in?" Nash asked ATM who were pulling Rebecca back by her flailing arms, "I think we're ready to start up again aren't we Rebecca?"

"No you're not violating my wife anymore get off me!" HBK said trying to get free but it was no good, Nash had him pinned like a note to a desk.

"Now is that anyway to treat a friend Kevin?" Sting said coming into the office and hitting Scott Hall in the ribs with his baseball bat while Shelton kicked Big Sexy in the face freeing HBK who tore off down the stairs carrying Rebecca over his shoulders while ATM and friends followed.

"Take care of business Shawn!" Christie Hemme called out as the RAW Superstars left Universal Studios.

"I always do!" HBK called back and the TNA wrestlers locked Nash, Hall and Jarrett in Paparazzi Productions office while Shawn took Rebecca to Paula White Ministries to save his marriage and reputation with no intention of leaving Florida until everything was back to normal.

Meanwhile at the McMahon-Helmsley Compound . . .

Britney Spears was in the kitchen with Dominic and Aaliyah Mysterio talking about WrestleMania 22 and Rey Mysterio's first ever World Heavyweight Championship victory while she made her favorite breakfast; fajitas and eggs with fruit covered pancakes.

The fajitas were for the Mysterios, Aaliyah climbed up on the counter while Dominic helped Britney chop up the tomatoes and peppers for the fajitas. The kitchen was quiet except for the sound of eggs breaking and milk pouring, mostly on the floor thanks to Aaliyah's small hands. Britney caught sight of the accidental spillage and put down her egg beater and took the milk away from the adorable mamacita.

"That's too much milk for you darling," she said taking Aaliyah Mysterio off the counter and putting her by the children's table with her son Sean Preston, Tamara Nash's son Tristen and Cheyenne Michelle, HBK's baby girl, "Why don't you stick with your friends instead huh? Look Hello Kitty, you like Hello Kitty?"

"Cuál es hola gatito?/what is Hello Kitty?" Aaliyah asked.

"Hola el gatito es un gato sin boca/Hello Kitty is a cat with no mouth," Cheyenne answered in Spanish and Aaliyah started crying and Britney frowned.

" Cheyenne why is she crying, was it something I said?" Britney asked Chey who nodded while taking Aaliyah in her arms.

"¿Cómo puede el gato beber la leche/How can the kitty drink milk?" Aaliyah asked through her tears.

Rey Mysterio came into the kitchen on hearing his daughter's cry and knelt down in front of Britney and apologized for his daughter's crying.

"Oh no Rey-Rey, I should apologize I just assumed all little girls liked Hello Kitty, silly me huh?" Britney said bashfully and Rey frowned looking at Cheyenne.

"¿Cuál es hola gatito?/What is Hello Kitty?" he asked Cheyenne.

"Hola el gatito es un gato sin boca/Hello Kitty is a cat with no mouth," Cheyenne answered and Rey's eyes opened wide, well as wide as could be seen under his luchador mask.

"¿Cómo puede el gato beber la leche/How can the kitty drink milk?" he answered and Britney scratched her head thinking his question sounded familiar.

"You guys excited about HBK wrestling against The Rock this year at WrestleMania?" he asked Sean Preston and Tristen Nash who were having a conversation about Hello Kitty too.

"So if Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth, how does she get people to buy her crappy stickers and stuff? Does she use sign language?" Tristen asked Cheyenne.

"Does that penguin she's always hanging around with interpret for her?" Sean Preston added and Cheyenne shrugged.

"I don't have all the answers, I'm not Jesus," she said.

"Well your Dad knows Jesus where is he?" Tristen asked Cheyenne who shook her head that she didn't know all she knew was that she missed him very much. She got out of her seat and headed for the McMahon-Helmsley video library to find her brother and his arch nemesis LC, the lil' assassin in training always who always made her feel better.

"Hey where's Chey going?" Vicky Guerrero asked coming into the kitchen with Shaul, Sherylin and Kaylee Marie.

"To find her father, she misses him so much, can I be honest with you about something?" Britney said pulling a lock of hair behind her ear shyly showing off her big gold hoop earrings. Vicky smiled at Rey-Rey who looked Britney up and down, noticing her sexy white flamingo skirt and bikini top subtly concealed behind her Betty Crocker kitchen apparel. Vicky was more interested in the wrap around gold sandals showing off her perfectly manicured toenails, this woman was no normal cook.

"What's on your mind mamacita?" Vicky asked Britney who leaned over to whisper in her ear but Vicky put her hands up defensively, "No-no, there are no secrets between me and Rey so out with it Britney what do you want to be honest with me about?"

Britney looked over at Sean and Tristen, "Would you guys mind following Cheyenne, I wanna talk to Mrs. Guerrero and Rey Mysterio," Britney said to Shaul and Sherylin who raised their eyebrows curiously, "Sean and Tristen go with them," she said and the boys pouted following the Guerreros out of the kitchen and up to the McMahon-Helmsley video library.

"What's up?" Rey asked Britney as the children left.

"I'm so excited about being the new celebrity Diva on RAW, I have so many ideas of how Vince and Stephanie McMahon can make HBK a star!" Britney said getting excited and Rey and Vicky looked at each other confused.

"But Shawn's already a star," Vicky said.

"Yeah he's a huge star," Rey added, "He's one of the most popular and successful WWE Champions of all time,"

"Yeah but he's not The Rock," Britney argued pulling up a children's chair and turning it backwards, "He's not Hulk Hogan, he's not even Stone Cold Steve Austin, I'm gonna bring him up to their level, I've got the money and power to do it too,"

Rey laughed and Vicky shook her head, "He's not like them mami, because he doesn't have to be: he's special," she reassured Britney who nodded that she understood, "No you don't understand, Shawn's what us Latino believers call e_l gusto unto, _it means he's stands alone,"

"He's not interested in being like Austin or Rocky, he's happy just entertaining the fans and putting on the best show he can, this business is his life but he's not interested in the glamorous lifestyle some of the other guys have," Rey explained and Britney frowned confused.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Because he's a Christian," Vicky answered.

"Yeah so am I, I evangelize through my music," Britney said and Rey and Vicky exchanged cynical glances.

"Um how exactly do you evangelize through your music? In your last video you danced around half-naked in your underwear for four minutes and the last time you were in the press you left your panties at home with your baby boy," Mysterio said and Vicky laughed.

"I'm sorry I offended you but I'm not the type of girl that just goes out without her underwear on, it was just that one time," Britney explained.

"Okay mami," Vicky and Rey said at the same-time, "Look Britney it's great that you wanna help Shawn and get ratings up for RAW but don't come at us with this "I'm a Christian" stuff because you're not fooling anyone. Just be honest you're in this for the sex, you're hot for Shawn," Rey said and Britney laughed.

"Okay you got me, I am so hot for Shawn I can barely keep my legs closed," Britney said anxiously, "but I'm not a slut I can't just throw myself at him, I have to give him something he wants,"

"But he doesn't want to be a Hollywood celebrity," Vicky assured Britney who nodded taking it in; she really cared about what Vicky and Rey Mysterio thought, she knew how much they meant to HBK and his children and she wanted their approval before she made her move.

"He wants his wife and kids, that's all that really matters to him," Rey added and Britney sighed and put her plans to be the next Mrs. HBK on the shelf.

"Well then that's what he'll get," she said humbly, " and he'll get it with a cherry on top, you see I'm gonna make it sweet for him," she said with a wink and a smile touching a finger to her lips and lowering her voice, "If Rebecca won't listen to reason, I'll make sure she knows what she's missing out on, you guys listen up, good ol' Britney's got a plan to get Shawn and Rebecca back together, and it involves sex . . . live sex!"

Rey and Vicky looked at each other, "Live Sex on RAW?" they both said thoughtfully,they were certain they'd heard of one of those happening somewhere before.

Paula White Ministries, Tampa, Florida, 10am:

Shawn Michaels burst into the church with the force of a hurricane dragging his wife by her extremely long hair. Randy White, Paula White's husband stopped the morning service and told security to escort the Michaels quickly to the back where his wife was waiting for them.

"Is that Shawn Michaels?" Mr. McKenzie, Charlene McKenzie's father said watching the church security advance on an angry Texan and his disobedient wife.

"It sure is, can I go say hi to them Daddy?" Charlene asked bouncing up and down on the pew.

Her father hushed her and she pouted, "You wait until after the service, then I'll drop you off at Mr. McMahon's estate where you can play with your friends, right now we listen to the Word of God," he said firmly and Charlene turned to the Book of Proverbs and read about patience; _I can't wait to get my own place_ she thought impatiently while Randy White told his wife the WWE Superstars had arrived.

"She had no idea what to expect and I know this was as far from how she expected to meet you as one could imagine," Randy said to HBK as the senior pastors separated the married couple and told them both to stop fighting. Shawn apologized and told ATM, RKO and El Con Dios to wait for him after the service. Lita came over to him shaking her head.

"I'm coming in with you," she said and Shawn looked at her in disbelief, "I'm Anointed Amy and your future is in my hands,"

"Oh I don't believe this, now she's gonna be our marriage counselor? Is there anywhere Shawn and I can go without expecting you to be there to run your mouth off about God?" Rebecca snapped straightening her dress and fixing her mangled hair.

"Not as long as you keep screwing Kevin Nash and the Kings of Wrestling and making his life a living Hell there isn't," Lita answered and Shawn's wife pouted angrily, Lita just smiled and told her sisters and helpers in Christ to enjoy the service and pray for them.

"We will," they said and Paula White emerged from her office and welcomed Shawn, Lita and Rebecca into her room for a quiet Christian chat.

Paula White's Office:

"Your wife's acting like a whore," Pastor Paula White said moving her tidy blond bangs out of her eyes and folding her arms across her white jacket, "She has no desire to see you smile or make you happy,"

Lita's mouth dropped, "I'm sorry Pastor but you could be a little more positive," she said noticing the anxious expression on HBK's face.

Pastor White smiled, "Well if it isn't the Anointed Amy of Sanford, North Carolina, you've come along way baby," she said warmly to Lita who frowned confused.

"Do we know each other?" Lita asked as Paula White took her seat in the fellowship circle she had arranged in her office.

"I've been waiting for this moment, since a friend of mine called me from Kingston, Jamaica and said, "She's coming to see you, get ready Paula get ready the angelic trio has arrived," Now I know he was telling me Lita aka Amy Dumas was gonna come here and intercede on her eternal soul mate's behalf, what I didn't tell my Pastor friend was that you are not gonna like what I have to say. You are not responsible for breaking up this marriage, you may identify with Rebecca but you not responsible for her self-destructive behavior okay?"

Lita nodded, "Okay then Pastor please help Rebecca and Shawn I'll just wait outside," she said moving her chair out of the circle but Paula got up and pulled her over and sat her back down in the circle.

"The problem here is miscommunication," Pastor Paula White said, "Miscommunication between a man, his wife and his mistress,"

Rebecca jumped up, "I knew it!" she yelled pointing accusingly at Lita, "I knew you two were having an affair!"

Shawn shook his head, "Pastor I swear Lita - I mean, Amy and I never slept together ever!" he said desperate for his wife to believe him.

Paula White put her hand on HBK's shoulder and shook her head, "The woman I'm talking about is not Lita, the mistress in this relationship is Rebecca, Lita is your true love therefore, Amy Dumas is your wife,"

Rebecca's breath got stuck in her throat and she quickly took her seat and started hyperventilating, Lita tried to help her but she batted her hand away angrily, "Get your f***ing hands off me you witch!" Rebecca yelled, "You stole my husband, you ruined my marriage and now you want to try and comfort me?"

Rebecca stood up but Shawn sat her back down, "What? I wanted to ask her how she plans to break this news to Edge, you know the guy she's getting married to in two weeks? What's your opening line Lita? Sorry honey but I've fallen in love with another married man, ooops, I did it again?"

Shawn sighed, he was at the end of his marital rope and didn't know what to do next, Paula White sensed this and sat him down next to his wife gently, "I hope you're not angry with your wife Shawn Michaels, she's moving on, don't hate her for it,"

"She's slept with a married man, his best friend and a double-crossing snake with peroxide in his hair, she's not herself Pastor, this woman is not my wife!" Shawn yelled adamantly, "Now are you gonna tell me how I can fix my marriage, or do I need to take her back to San Antonio and work this whole thing out myself?"

"You're absolutely right, this woman is not your wife, even though you married her, the woman you were supposed to marry is trying to hide her face from me right now - Amy turn around and get over here!" Pastor Paula said firmly as Lita tried to exit the uncomfortable room unnoticed. The red-head sighed and turned back to face Pastor White who beckoned her to come closer, Pastor took Lita's hands and the Anointed one felt a rush of spiritual power go through her body, "I know what you want but you don't know how to get want you want," Pastor White said, "I know The Truth: Trish Stratus has enlightened you on your fate in Heaven, what The Truth didn't tell you was your fate here on Earth, since God has not instructed me to tell you what that is I'll move onto a problem that I have permission from God to solve,"

Pastor Paula let go of Lita's hands and she stumbled a little and HBK held her so she didn't fall, when Lita opened her eyes and saw him looking back at her, the little hairs on her bald head stood up and she saw herself in Shawn's blue-grey irises. _It can't be_, she thought, _it can't be true_!

"It is true," Pastor Paula said with a small smile, then she turned and looked at Rebecca, "And this is also true; you're acting like a whore and God will use you to get His glory but you can't get into Heaven with that ring on your finger as you have disgraced the sanctity of marriage and betrayed your husband who loves you more than any man ever will ever again. Both of you need to separate to fulfill your Divine Destinies, I'm sorry HBK but there is no other way,"

"NO!" Shawn wailed falling to his knees and tears pouring down his face.

"YES!" Rebecca screamed cowering over him laughing and throwing her hands up in the air triumphantly, "Free at last, free at last, good God Almighty I am free at last!" she cried and ran out of Paula White's office singing all the way back to Universal Studios while Shawn cried himself into a frenzy and Lita was caught between running after Rebecca and helping Shawn up off the floor. She was completely torn and didn't know what to do next. She looked up at Pastor Paula White confused but the Pastor was confident in her Holy power and waited to see what Lita would do with it.

"Shawn are you okay?" she asked as HBK sobbed into his hands, "I don't know if I should be saying this but, maybe it's time you moved on too,"

Shawn looked up at Lita through watery eyes and sore lids and sniffed, "Move on? With who?" he asked and Lita shrugged feeling unhelpful.

"I don't know," she answered and Shawn fell back into despair while Lita hugged him and let him cry out over her tattooed arm, "We'll work that part out together okay? You just cry your beautiful heart out baby, you don't have to hide your true feelings from me,"

Trish, Melina, Nitro, Shelton, TKO and El Con Dios came into the office when they saw Rebecca leaving to find out what happened, they had a vague idea but the state HBK was in when they showed up told them that the Heartbreak and Triumph storybook marriage was over.

"Do you get it now?" Trish asked Lita who was confused beyond belief by what Pastor Paula White had told her. _How could she be HBK's wife? Then it hit h_er like a bolt of lightning from Hurricane Aurora's rattle.

"I'm not getting married am I?" she realized and Melina's mouth dropped.

"She's not?" Melina asked Pastor Paula who shook her head.

_"No she is getting married, in_ two weeks, Amy Dumas will be a very happily married woman," she said and the angelic helpers looked between each other confused, except for TKO and El Con Dios who already knew what was going to happen.

"Come on Lita, we've got an engagement party to attend," Trish said taking her sister in Christ's arm while Nitro and Melina helped HBK to his feet. He pushed them away saying he wanted to be left alone, then Pastor Paula grabbed his arm and held his wet face in her hands.

"Matthew 19:12 talks about the unmarried man, Jesus said "He who is able to accept it, let him accept it". You're marriage is over Shawn Michaels, accept it," she said to the broken-hearted Texan who dropped his chin, sucked up his tears and wiped the excess water from his eyes and face in two quick motions and looked over at his friends who were so desperate to see him smile again.

Lita hugged him and gave him her smile which almost lit up the entire room and Trish looked at Randy and Carlito with a knowing smile.

"Will he accept it?" Carlito asked his girlfriend who nodded resolutely.

"He will in time," she answered, "Come on guys there's some serious bidness we have to take care of, Amy and Shawn can catch us up,"

"Amy and Shawn, has a nice ring to it doesn't it?" Randy said thoughtfully.

"Sssh!" Trish said and Melina tried to get an explanation out of the three know-it-alls while Nitro watched Lita kiss HBK's face and wipe the last of his tears away from his golden sun kissed cheek. It was like watching a Renaissance painting come to life.

"This is gonna be the shortest engagement party in history," he said as Paula White escorted the RAW Superstars to the altar and thanked them for coming to her ministry and bringing some WWE drama out of the ring and giving it to her and her husband to deal with in Tampa, Florida, the place where the soon-to-be-single Ms. Rebecca Circi was born and the place she would become the star of Paparazzi Productions latest release.

In the McMahon-Helmsley video library four WWE Superstars argued over what were the best matches at WM19 while Stephanie sang to Aurora.

"My match was the best, I had HBK beat!" Chris Jericho insisted and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"If you had Shawnie beat then Bookah owned me during my match," he said sarcastically and King Bookah's eyes widened in offence.

"The King takes exception to that Sir Helmsley, I had you'r ass beat - Jericho's full a crap, there's no way you coulda beat Shawn Michaels!" he said polishing his crown and resting it on the arm of his chair while WM19 continued. The Rock was paying close attention when his match came on, it was the last WrestleMania he headlined.

"Wait here it comes - Rock Bottom! 1-2-3 ha-ha, The Rock FINALLY beats the Texas Rattlesnake, the match of the night, all you are invited to kiss the People's Ass!" he said arrogantly.

"But Austin lost to you as a favor, he was in the hospital and you begged him to do the match," Stephanie said and The Rock threw baby powder at her, Aurora sneezed and it turned to frost and coated Rocky's shades with a thin layer of ice.

"What in the blue Hell are you feeding this child, snowflakes or cornflakes?" The People's Champ asked cleaning the ice off his glasses with his tennis shirt.

"That's my girl, give her to me Stephanie," Hunter asked his wife holding his hands out and his wife glared at him with one hand firmly on her hip, "What?" Hunter asked.

"Stephanie? Since when are you calling me Stephanie? You always call me Steph Hunter, what's up with that?" Stephanie asked agitated and The Rock looked at King Bookah who frowned at the billion dollar princess.

"The question is Princess Stephanie, what's up with you?" The King asked Mrs. Helmsley, "All Hunter did was ask for his child and you're acting like she isn't even his,"

"That's because she's MINE!" Jericho said in an amplified voice and Hunter jumped on him sending the couch backwards and the many rows of videos back in a domino effect right across the McMahon-Helmsley library. LC, Cassidy and Cameron stood at the entrance to the library and watched as the long shelves of videos fell one after the other until there were millions of videotapes all over the floor.

"Vince is gonna love this, last one to get him is a Diva Search winner!" Cassidy said and LC watched as Cameron and Carla ran with CassED to the North wing to snitch on her beloved Cerebral Assman.

"LC make sure they don't reach the staircase," Hunter instructed his apprentice.

"You can count on me, unlike the other woman in your life," LC said giving Stephanie a dirty look before turning her heel and chasing after her threee amigos. Hunter smiled proudly wishing that Aurora turned out to be just like LC, it suddenly occurred to Hunter that he didn't know LC's full name and he made a mental note to ask Charlotte what her little sister's real name was over breakfast which he could smell cooking in the kitchen.

"Hmmm jalepenos, who's cooking breakfast Rey-Rey?" Rocky asked licking his lips and Hunter gave a cheeky smile.

"No but she's about the same size, come on let's go smell what Britney Spears is cooking," he said taking his daughter from his wife and leading the way to the kitchen for some morning grub. He saw Cheyenne, Sean Preston, Tristen Nash, the Guerreros and Mysterios going up the stairs and wondered what they were doing all alone, "You guys go ahead, I'm gonna follow these guys and see what they're up to," he said and made his way up the stairs as well.

The Northwest Wing:

Cassidy, Carla and Cameron ran into the North wing of the McMahon-Helmsley Compound.

"This is Mr. McMahon's bedroom knock on the door," Cassidy said to Carla who shook her head.

"You knock on Mr. McMahon's door," she said back to Cassidy who told Cameron to do the honors.

"Okay you chickens, watch HBK's only son wake the big bossman up," Cameron raised his hand to knock on the huge wooden door when he saw his little sister running towards him out of the corner of her eye.

"Cam, Cam!" she cried moving as fast as she could and Cameron ran to her and swept her up in his arms concerned, "LC's fighting Trish Stratus!"

Cameron frowned, "Chey Trish isn't here yet, ATM are still in Florida," he said but Cheyenne shook her head and pointed to the North East wing and Cassidy and Carla got an uneasy feeling all of a sudden.

"LC!" Carla called and the children jumped at the sound of a loud clank and they ran towards the North East wing through the open door and saw LC swinging Triple H's sledgehammer wildly above her head.

"LC what are you doing give me that sledgehammer!" Hunter said running in behind them and pulling the weapon awat from the lil' warrior princess.

"Hunter hit her hard!" LC demanded and Hunter tried to get LC out of the room, then he realized that it was Trish Stratus and she was fighting with an eight year old girl.

"Who are you?" Hunter asked the curvaceous blond woman who stared at him like he had a target on his chest and she was going straight for it. LC grabbed the sledgehammer from Hunter's hands and whacked the woman with it right in the jaw breaking it on instantly.

"Oh my gosh!" Charlotte said coming into the room after finishing her conversation with her husband on the phone and hearing the commotion, "LC what are you doing?"

"Hunting, now I'm gonna finish the job!" LC said raising the sledgehammer again,she suddenly leapt up into her sister's arms in fright and Hunter's jaw dropped as the broken jaw of the woman locked back into place like it had never been broken at all.

"What the Hell are you?" Hunter said and Cassidy and Cameron knocked the woman onto her back and started hitting her ferociously.

"LC what's going on?" Charlotte asked as her little sister joined in the fight not letting the woman get away, Charlotte was about to pull LC back when she felt something shift across the room at lightning speed and looked around to see what it was luckily LC was already aware of what it was.

"Behind you!" LC cried adn Charlotte turned to see Melina staring back at her like a demon from Hell, "Headbutt her!" LC said and Chris Benoit stepped in front of her sister.

"Allow me," he said and butted Melina with his head busting her nose only instead of blood their was black ooze, Benoit grabbed Hunter by his shirt and told him sternly, "There are demons in this house, call your daughter now!"

Hunter didn't hesitate, "AURORA!" he roared like a lion and it instantly started to snow in the North East wing of the house as Aurora Rose shook her rattle. Melina and Trish froze and LC looked around the guest bedroom searching it all over.

"LC what are you looking for?" Charlotte asked her little sister and Cassidy, Carla and Cameron joined in the search.

"There's one more," LC said looking under the huge master bed.

"One more what?" Hunter asked nervously looking the frozen divas he knew so well up and down wondering what just happened here.

"One more of these witches is in this room, we have to find her before . . ." LC broke off and Carla screamed.

"Oh my God!" Benoit cried and Hunter and Charlotte turned to see what he was looking at and got their answer in full.

"It's over for you," Cheyenne Michaels said, her feet hovering inches above the ground with her eyes rolled back in her head, she was possessed.

LC tugged on Hunter's arm violently, "Get Shawn here now, his daughter is being possessed by one of the most powerful witches in the entire world, Cameron come on!"

Cameron lunged for his little sister but she jumped up to the ceiling and stuck to it like a spider turning her head backwards and causing Charlotte to turn green.

Hunter dialled HBK's cell phone but it wasn't dialling, something was wrong with the connection, "Shit! Shawn's phone's not working!" Hunter cursed raking his fingers through his hair in fear. He thought carefully; there was no way Shawn would ever let anything happen to Aurora so there was no way he was gonna let anything happen to his baby girl. He ran to his bedroom and put in Disc 1 of the WWE Anthology and skipped across the tracks until he found the one he was looking for and turned it up full blast.

Vince McMahon jumped up into the air and landed on his backside at the familiar tune that was reverberating through the entire McMahon estate at the highest volume, the toothbrush in his mouth almost impaling him.

"What the Hell is that son-in-law of mine doing?" he yelled marching down to the North East side of the wing and seeing Triple H dancing with Cheyenne Michaels along with Carla, Cameron, LC, Cassidy, Charlotte and Benoit to Sexy Boy, Shawn Michaels' notorious theme tune. Vince stared as Shawn's 3 year-old girl imitated her father's moves like she was the Showstoppa herself, as much as she resembled her mother, she had her father's moves down perfectly.

"Hey Vince this is Edge and Lita's engagement party, why are you throwing a party in my honor?" came the familiar voice of HBK followed by the WWE Superstars who had all come up to the North Wing to see what all the commotion was about. Cheyenne's eyes widened to three times their original size when she saw her father in the doorway, "Hey kids, daddy's here!" Shawn said throwing his arms out for his children to step into.

"Daddy!" Cheyenne cried leaping into them first.

"TURN THAT DAMN THING OFF!" Vince barked at Hunter who acted like he couldn't hear him and continued to dance along to HBK's theme song, "Okay you know what, I'm glad you're all up here because I have a huge annoucement to make!"

"Um Vince we may not be working right now but we all have our pants on, what's your excuse?" Hunter said and the WWE mogul looked down and saw that he indeed was standing in the hallway of his own mansion in his underwear, "Is that what you were gonna announce because we can see that you're not wearing pants already," Hunter added and the Superstars laughed and Vince scowled and starting cursing Hunter over the music giving up and going back to his bedroom as Hunter continued to swing his hips from left to right.

"Is there a reason you guys are playing my music at full blast two doors away from Vince McMahon's bedroom?" Shawn asked grooving along with his daughter in his arms. LC looked over at Lita, Trish and Melina and as the music stopped she came over to the angelic trio told them what happened.

"They're here, Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha are in this house," she said and ATM nodded; they already knew.

Shawn looked at Hunter who pulled him into a hug almost crushing Shawn's shoulders with the weight of his body and HBK knew something was very, very wrong when he felt tears falling on his arm.

"Who are Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha?" Charlotte asked her little sister and Lita answered the question.

"It doesn't matter who they are, they're here to destory us," she said and Charlotte waved Brandon and Miss Taylor over and told them what just happened.

"Hey Lita why do you keep scratching your arm?" Miss. Taylor asked Lita who shrugged it off.

"I don't know my tattoo's really itching me, ever since we left Florida I can't stop scratching it, but that's not important right now," Lita answered.

"We know this is supposed to be an engagement party guys but its about to turn into a witch hunt," Trish said and Hunter had to look twice to make sure it was Trish, it wasn't until he felt the warm hand on his shoulder that he knew it was really her.

"You okay Hunter?" asked HBK and Hunter realized the warm hand on his shoulder wasn't Trish's but Shawn Michaels'.

Hunter smiled warmly in return, "I am now," he said and Shawn smiled back relieved to be around the ass-kicking side of DX again, his best friend and Kliq buddy for life.


	15. Sweet Ass Sin

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: M

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

A/N: This chapter contains some sexual content and is rated M.

Fourteen - Sweet Ass Sin

North Wing of the McMahon-Helmsley Compound:

"You smell like candy," Hunter said smelling Shawn's breath, "What's up with that?"

"Hey twizlers!" Cameron said snatching the candy out of HBK's pants, "Where's mom?"

Hunter felt Shawn's body go limp and caught him before he fell, "Shawn what happened, is Rebecca okay now or what?"

"Yeah she's on top of the world just don't ask me where she is because I don't know," Shawn said sadly.

"You don't know or you don't care?" Charlotte asked Shawn and LC nudged her in the ribs.

"He doesn't know because she left him," she said and Cameron went ghostly white.

"Mom's with Big Daddy Cool now?" Cameron said and LC smiled at his cheeks swelled up with rage.

"Your mother's moved on," Shawn told his only son who nodded thinking it over, "I'm so sorry guys I tried, I cried and now I'm sick and tired, there's nothing I can do or say to make your mother forgive me for what I've done,"

"But you haven't done anything!" Lita said defiantly snatching the wig off her head, though she only meant to remove her bandana, "See I'm pulling my hair out over this," she said humorously as her friends recoiled at the fuzzy buzz cut where long red locks used to be.

"Looks like we're gonna have a new mommy Chey," Cameron said to his baby sister who was very excited from seeing Lita taking her hair off as if by magic, she tried to do it herself but only managed to elbow her father in the eye, "Easy there Chey, the question is who's the lucky lady gonna be Dad? Is it Lita?"

Shawn looked at Lita who waved at Cameron and Cheyenne trying not to cry, "You guys must be starving, let's go have some breakfast with Britney Spears," she said and CC ran over to her and clung to her legs with great enthusiasm.

"We wanna have breakfast with our Mom!" they both cried and Lita couldn't hold back anymore either, she broke into tears and hugged the little children warmly wishing she could tell them that Rebecca was on her way home, but the truth was Rebecca was as far away from San Antonio as she could be, spiritually and physically Rebecca was in a whole other place completely.

Hunter shook his head while Shawn cried into his chest, he didn't want him to give up on Rebecca either but the man had done every conceivable thing to get back in Rebecca's good graces, it was gonna take a miracle to get the Michaels' household back in order. Luckily that miracle was making her way up the stairs right now.

"Hey there everyone, Britney's breakfast bonanza is ready, come and get it!" she said cheerfully smiling at everyone as they headed down towards the kitchen leaving her alone with DX. Hunter noticed the hem of Britney's apron was pretty north of the knee and looked back at Shawn who wasn't even paying any attention. He whacked Shawn around the head and the Showstoppa hit him back.

"What was that for?" Shawn snapped holding the back of his head and Hunter pushed him into his bedroom and motioned for Britney to come over. Cameron looked on curiously and reached into his pocket.

"Here Dad, looks like you're gonna need this," he said handing his father a condom.

"Who in the Hell gave you this?" Shawn demanded going violet at the sight of the hot pink packet in his eight year-old son's hand.

"Hunter's got a whole load of them in his room, I just figured you'd like the cherry flavored one, it matches her lipstick," Cameron said with a wink.

"Um maybe you guys better come with us, Shawn don't do anything stupid, in God's eyes you're still a married man, we'll see you downstairs, hopefully sooner than later," Charlotte said escorting LC, Cameron, Cheyenne, Carla and Cassidy towards the kitchen where the WWE Superstars were eating.

"You got the door?" Britney said applying more Butterscotch lip gloss and shaking out her hair so it fell wildly about her shoulders.

"I'm coming in with you," Hunter said and Britney furrowed her brow.

"Wait a minute you wanna watch us make out?" Britney said surprised, "Hunter what kind of a girl do you think I am?"

Hunter rolled his eyes and pushed her into the bedroom locking the door behind him, "Come on Britney, you're not that innocent,"

"Britney what are you doing girl, we barely know each other and already your standing in front of me in your bra and panties? What the Hell is wrong with you?" Shawn said outraged.

"I figured we could have a little bra and panties match of our own, and then this guy had to run interference, aren't you like married to Stephanie McMahon?" Britney asked Hunter.

"Unfortunately," Shawn said under his breath and Hunter looked at him curiously.

"I'm sorry Shawn what was that, you think it's unfortunate that I'm married to the boss' daughter?" he asked as Shawn tore through another Gummy worm, "Give me that you're gonna ruin your perfect teeth," Hunter said snatching the tail end of the worm.

"No way it's mine, here have a sour ball," Shawn said throwing the rock hard candy at Hunter but he ducked and it caught Britney Spears in the mouth.

"Ow my lip, I think you busted my lip!" Britney cried out shielding her mouth nervously.

"Yeah how dare you throw balls at Britney Spears' face!" Hunter said sarcastically and Shawn got up to check out the damage.

"Look at me," he said taking her chin in between his thumb and forefinger noticing the slightest cut in her bottom lip, "Is that Butterscotch I smell?" he asked his mouth watering suddenly and Britney was hypnotized by the blue grey orbs looking down at her from above.

"Lita said you liked dessert and that Butterscotch was your favorite ice cream, I hope I haven't turned you off," Britney said with an innocent glance and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Oh please," he said stuffing a jawbreaker in his mouth and biting down into the center, "Y'ARGH!" he yelped feeling his tooth crack from the hard candy he just tried to chew and Britney and Shawn laughed as he went screaming out of the room to Heaven knows where.

"What was I saying now, oh yes, Lita talks too much, that information was confidential she shouldn't have said anything to you about my turn-ons," Shawn said brushing his hand over Britney's bangs and drawing her closer so he could smell the sweet sugary goodness coming from her lips.

"Actually it was your son who confirmed it, he told me you would eat anything with Butterscotch on it, is that true?" Britney said losing her breath as Shawn silenced her with his mouth by extending his tongue and licking the Butterscotch lip gloss off her blistered bottom lip. It stung her but the move turned her body into a fireworks display, "That kind of hurt but in a good way, you know like when you lose your virginity?"

"It's been awhile Brit, you'll have to go easy on me," Shawn said ravaging her mouth with his own while pulling her long blond hair back hard so he had more of her to kiss. Britney could feel his hunger, Shawn was like a starving refugee and she was the cherry pie cooling on the window sil. Too bad she wasn't a home-wrecker, their passion would have to wait for now, after all what was the point in having sex with WWE Superstar if his wife wasn't watching, Rebecca had to know Shawn had other options or at least think he did if this Live Sex show was going to work she figured.

But Shawn didn't want to wait.

He lifted Britney off her feet and carried her over to The Game's King size bed laying her down so that she was comfortable. He picked up the sweetest smell of all and Britney giggled.

"Did you bathe in sugar you smell like dessert, I smell cotton candy, strawberry milkshake, banana split and peppermint chocolate, hmmm," Shawn said kissing her thighs, "I could eat you with a spoon," he said and Britney laughed at the way he was searching for the candy she had rubbed all over her body with his nose.

"Ever heard of Jessica Simpson's dessert treats?" she asked and Shawn shook his head biting through the condom wrapper with his teeth, "Well it's like this lotion and I made my own based on your favorite desserts, cause if you like it I was thinking I could mass produce it and you could do a campaign with me advertising it, does that sound like something you'd wanna do or . . . Shawn where are you going?"

Britney looked down and started writhing, "Oh kay I forgot I put something a little extra down there for you," she said and started panting furiously, "Stop, don't do anything else just stop," Shawn sat up and took the cherry out of his mouth and gave Britney a small smile as she sat up and pulled her skirt back down, he threw the hot pink condom over his shoulder and sighed. "I think we should wait until Tamara gets here,"

Shawn picked the condom back up, "Okay!" he said excitedly and Britney threw the pink plastic circle back on the floor.

"That's not what I meant silly rabbit!" she said laughing at his eagerness, "Tammy's got two TNA Knockouts watching the Kings of Wrestling to make sure they're not up to something, when they know what they've got planned for Impact Tammy's gonna bring them here and tell us what's up. We gotta stay one step ahead of the competition at all times if this is gonna work you got it?"

"Yeah I got it, you're totally into me," Shawn said with a shy smile and Britney picked the condom back up abandoning her plans to screw TNA and decided to screw Shawn Michaels' instead, until he said, " I wish my wife was here Britney," he said biting the cherry in his mouth miserably and Britney sat up as well and looked deep into Shawn's eyes.

"Don't count Rebecca out yet, use me to get back at her," she said and Shawn frowned looking at the hot pick condom in her manicured hand.

"I would never exploit you Britney, I don't want to leave you like all those other guys you slept with," Shawn said.

"Hey it wasn't that many!" Britney said offended and Shawn scratched his face nervously.

"However many guys you've been with I don't want to be one of them, you certainly went about this the right way with the candy and the cherry that was real sweet an all but I'm not down with it Britney, I just want my family to get back together somehow you know?" Shawn explained honestly and Britney smiled, she knew exactly how that felt.

"I do know and I've got the perfect way to do it, let's pretend to have sex on Monday Night RAW," she said pocketing the condom in her bikini top, "Impact goes up against RAW next week, it will be the perfect way to get back at Rebecca for her ho-like behavior. We'll have a Live Sex celebration the ratings will be off the charts!"

"That sounds like a great idea!" Hunter said holding an ice pack to his jaw returning to the two blonds on the bed.

"But I'm not interested," Shawn argued and Britney raised a cynical eyebrow at the Showstoppa's innocent face.

"Come on Shawn, you're not that innocent," she said with a smirk and Shawn wondered who would ever want to have sex in front of a live audience? Just then a knock came at the Cerebral Assassins door, Shawn went to open it and got his answer.

"Oh Edge hi!" he said and the Rated R Superstar wondered what that smell was coming from, "You like twizlers, I've got like a hundred of 'em,"

Edge backed away from the door, "Never mind I'll talk to you when you're sober," he said and ran back down the stairs to the kitchen to find Lita.

Looks like I don't have to worry about Shawn stealing Lita after all he thought thankfully while the Showstoppa chased after him and the Hardyz told Shawn to stop because they had something important to tell him.

"Edge is up to something and we need you to keep an eye on him while we figure out what it is," he said.

"Guys I don't wanna get involved, you know Edge much better than I do I'll just get in the way!" Shawn said and the Hardyz decided to go find Lita and tell her why she shouldn't marry Edge.

The Lower Ground Dining Room:

Everyone was eating quietly as LC, Cassidy and Cameron explained about the three witches that were in the McMahon-Helmsely Compound.

"The leader is called Abatha, she's a huge Lita mark she thinks she is Lita," LC explained.

"Then there's this one called Tabatha, she worships the ground Trish Stratus walks on, well actually she worships the ground the devil walks on but she grew up idolizing Trish," Cameron explained, "And she's from Canada too!"

"Nice one Jericho," Benoit snarled.

"Hey you're Canadian to you cabroni!" Jericho responded and Carlito furrowed his brow.

"Don't you mean "jabroni"?" he asked Y2J.

"Yeah I just said cabroni because he's Canadian, get it, got it, good," Jericho replied and Stephanie smiled adoring at his sarcastic sense of humor.

"Will you cannucks keep it down?" Trish said impatiently, "There are children talking, go ahead guys tell us what you know about these three bitches, I mean um witches,"

"The last one thinks she's Melina, her name is Mabatha and she's from Puerto Rico and knows voodoo and all kinds of black magic, but Abatha controls them both and several others too," Cassidy explained and the WWE Superstars were amazed at what they were hearing.

"And they call themselves ATM? What does the ATM stand for?" Queen Sharmell asked taking another bite of her fajita from her husband's plate.

"Authority To Massacre," LC answered, "They're murderers, Abatha's been expelled from every school she's ever been in and she's been in jail twice. She grew up in Texas but she can't go back to her home state because she was stalking The Undertaker's family,"

"Stalking? She tried to kill my family!" Taker said angrily, "It wasn't enough I had to get a restraining order on the stupid Diamond Dallas Page, I had to call the cops on Abatha and eventually I got so much dirt on her she got kicked outta Texas and moved to Washington D.C,"

"You know these women?" Benoit asked in shock.

"They're not women, they're witches and they're here to destroy Trish, Melina and myself," Lita said, "The sooner we get our hands on them the better right Truth?" she asked Trish who looked down sadly at her feet.

"That's not gonna happen, if anyone gets kicked out of this house it's gonna be us," she said and Lita stared at her like she was crazy, "But don't worry aboot it honey, we're in good hands, eat up your breakfast is getting cold," Trish said sweetly giving Lita's hands a tight squeeze, unfortunately that did nothing to calm Melina down who got so hot she turned the breakfast table over in a blind rage.

"What do you mean we're gonna get kicked out of the house, we're ATM, we're the original ATM, those three bitches ain't got nuthin on the three of us, we're God's angelic trio man, now let's go hunt us some witches!" Melina yelled riled up.

"Hey I'm trying to eat here!" Umaga said and everyone turned to look at him noticing that he spoke perfect English, Umaga realized he had to stay in character and started yelling "Fa Samoa!" at the top of his lungs.

"Oh I get it now, he said he's hungry," Cena explained and the WWE Superstars laughed needing to do so very badly after what they just saw in the Northeast wing of the McMahon-Helmsley estate.

Just then Trish came out of the dining room and looked straight at Melina who was still hot from the turning table over incident.

"What did God tell you about manipulating people's feelings?" she said with her hands on her hips, "If God wanted us to sail through temptation he never would have created it in the first place,"

"That's exactly what I said, if Shawn and Britney have an affair its between them and God, not us," Carlito said.

"Well if they are gonna sleep with each other you might get to watch it," Trish said.

""What?" Stephanie asked.

"Your father cam up with genius idea that Edge and Lita have another wedding which DX breaks up and Lita joins them and runs out on Edge," Trish explained.

"Poetic," Carlito said.

"Well its not that bad," Randy said.

"Are you kidding me? It's totally harsh considering they would have just gotten married on Saturday," Trish disagreed.

"Come on see the bigger picture with Lita in DX I could keep my eye on her," Randy said.

"I'm not done," Trish said and everyone turned their attention back to her, "Vince wants Britney to join DX," she told Stephanie, " He wants there to be a team of two couples: Hunter and Lita, Shawn and Britney,"

"What about Edge?" Nitro asked and the Diva looked down and Carlito knew what she was gonna say.

"Oh no," he said in anticipation of her answer.

"He wants me to come back and be Edge's partner," she said reluctantly.

"You see? I told you anything to get in the ring with Hunter," Randy said.

"You're not gonna do it are you Trish?" Melina said and Trish shrugged.

"Vince said when I tried to interfere on RAW I violated the terms of my retirement agreement so unless I want to be permanently removed from the WWE forever I have to do this angle with Edge," Trish explained.

"Well it will be cool having you around again," Melina said.

"Well it would be for this one angle then I'm gone; I kinda like being the woman Carlito comes home to. Being a wrestling couple can be so invasive," Trish said and they all nodded.

"Tell us about it," they all said simultaneously.

"Trish what do you think about Edge and Lita getting married on Saturday?" Christie Hemme asked and everyone's ears perked up eagerly.

"Are you asking me what I think or what I know?" Trish asked.

"How about telling us what's gonna happen?" Nitro asked and both Melina and Lita slapped him on the arm.

"Well like I said, Saturday is going to be full of surprises," Trish said.

Vince, Lita and Edge came into the kitchen with Cheyenne swinging inbetween them.

"Well what you think of the new storyline?" Vince asked them enthusiastically.

"Does it matter?" Lita asked not happy at having to work on Monday and even less happy about having to do another angle about her personal life again.

"I was just curious," Vince said.

"Couldn't you wait a bit longer before spitting all over Edge and Lita's marriage?" Stephanie asked.

"No way you gotta strike while the irons hot, why do you think I'm starting this thing on Monday people? So WWE fans will be talking about the wedding over the weekend that's why, there's only one thing missing luckily I've found it . . . or should I say her," Vince said with a calculating grin, "Randy needs a female side kick, Edge will have Trish who I'm very pleased is rejoining us on Monday Night RAW, but Randy has nobody,"

Everybody looked at Melina who looked away pretending to see something behind her.

"I was thinking of Melina too," Vince added.

"NO!" everyone cried remembering what happened the last time the Legend Killer and Latina Heat were together.

"But its not controversial enough plus I don't wanna split you guys up you're an awesome team on RAW," Vince said and Melina and Nitro smiled relieved, "like King Bookah and Queen Sharmell," their smiles disappeared, "Leave it with me I'll come up with something good, oh wait I already have - Tamara Nash will be joining Rated RKO with Trish how about that?"

"Yeah Tammy's cool, at least I'll be with a woman who's as honest as I am," Trish said and Vince smiled.

"Then its settled, your first Tag Team match will be on Monday, welcome back Stratus!" he said.

Vince sat on the arm of the sofa looking atypically relaxed while Edge and Lita sat opposite Linda and Carlito.

"You wanna give it to them now or wait until after the wedding?" Vince asked Linda.

"No give it to them now," she said and Vince walked over to the cabinet and picked up a black box with silver ribbon tied around it.

"Don't you want to present it with me?" he asked his wife and she waved him away.

"No you do it I'm too relaxed," she said and Vince wondered what had come over his wife and looked at Carlito questioningly. The cool one shrugged.

"Everybody feels relaxed around Carlito," he said.

"Maybe you should stay over too," Vince said liking Linda chilled out and laid back.

"Who's staying over?" Stephanie asked.

"We are," Edge and Lita said together.

"Oooh you can stay in my room and Edge can stay in Hunter's," Stephanie said enthusiastically.

"What?" Hunter said not wanting to share a room with anyone but his wife.

"Or you could swap," Vince suggested.

"Vince!" Linda said with a warning tone, "Don't start or you'll kill my buzz,"

Everybody laughed at Mrs. McMahon who sounded like she was high.

"I'm sharing a room with you," Carlito said.

"Me too," Trish added.

"Hey don't leave us out," Nitro and Melina complained.

"You've got each other, you're a married couple act like it," Trish said.

"Yeah Linda, you're sleeping with me and that's final," Vince said unromantically and Linda stuck her tongue out at him.

"I can see where you guys get it," Lita said to Stephanie and Hunter.

"Okay so everyone stays at the McMahons tonight, now for the presentation. Edge, Lita, could you come over here please?" Vince said and the soon-to-be-married couple got up and came over to him.

"Up woman," he said to Linda.

"I'm coming I'm coming," Linda said grouchily and dragged herself from her comfortable spot to stand next to her husband, "Yeah this is so much better," she said and everybody laughed.

"What did you do to her?" Melina asked Carlito and the cool one shrugged again. Vince cleared his throat loudly and all talking ceased and all eyes were on him.

"Edge, you've come a long way since E & C, TLC and Money in the Bank. Lita from Team Extreme to Rated RKO you've forged a place in WWE history that the Women's Division has never seen. Controversy has followed you both around and it has kept the WWE the talk of the town and will continue to do so and for that I am eternally grateful. Edge and Lita, this is for you," Vince said and handed them the box which Edge took and Lita lifted the lid revealing a set of keys.

"What is this?" Lita asked holding up the key and Edge looked at Mr. McMahon in disbelief.

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked his mouth dropping.

"What is it?" Carlito asked Trish.

"It's the key to our house," Linda McMahon replied.

"Anytime night or day you are welcome in our home," Vince said warmly.

"Oh yeah I've heard of those, "Nitro said, "He only gives them to a few people,"

"Who else has got these?" Lita asked.

"Let's see Shawn, Stone Cold, The Rock, Undertaker and John Cena," Vince answered.

"Cena?" Carlito asked incredulously, "How come he gets a key?"

"He's the Champ," Vince said and Carlito and Nitro shook their heads knowing that Shelton and Jeff Hardy were screwed out of that title.

"Don't feel bad, I don't have one either," Triple H said.

"But you're married to Stephanie McMahon you don't need one," Carlito said.

"Oh yeah, I am," Hunter said with a smirk and Vince scowled at him darkly.

"Thank you Mr. McMahon this is truly an honor," Edge said shaking the boss' hand.

"Hey there's only one set," Linda said looking in the box for another set of keys.

"Well they're a couple now what's hers is he is and visa versa; you can share the keys just like you'll be sharing everything else," Vince said.

Lita looked at the keys as a symbol of her married status.

"Yeah now you'll be the Rated R married couple, forever," Linda said and Lita got the feeling that she was trying to tell her something but didn't get to ask because Edge got her attention. It was then that she noticed the giant R on the set of keys, R for Rated R.

"But this isn't who I am anymore Vince, I'm Anointed Amy I'm a servant of God, this is a part of me that no longer exists except in your mind!" Lita explained to the WWE mogul who shrugged, took off the silver initial and threw it over his shoulder.

"OW!" Hunter yelped, "You got me right in the eye you senile old bastard!"

"That's what she said," Vince said to Linda in a lame attempt to be funny and she just rolled her eyes wondering who was younger in mental age, Vince or Aurora Rose? It was Vince by a landslide.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Edge said to Lita, "In private," Lita nodded.

"Sure, we're just gonna go for a walk guys we'll be back soon," she said and left the McMahons home for a while and went for a walk and talk with her future husband.

"I know how much you wanted your father to give you away," Edge said with his arm around her and Lita sighed remembering how excited she was about the idea.

"Something's just don't change," she said solemnly.

"Sometimes they don't but sometimes all you need is a little more persuasion," Edge said and Lita looked over at him curiously.

"What do you mean?" she asked and Edge nodded forward indicating for her to look forward. When she did her eyes squinted at the car in the McMahons driveway. It was her father's and he was just about to get out of it and come towards them. As he came closer Lita got another shocker: he was smiling. Edge smiled back loving the look of total shock on his fiancé's face.

"Surprise!" he said as the man came over to greet his daughter and her future husband.

"Hello Amy," he said and Lita pulled her hair out in disbelief.

"What are you doing here?" she asked him in shock.

"Why I'm here to celebrate your marriage darling!" he said enthusiastically, "and to tell you I'm sorry for being so distant over the years but give me a chance to make it up to you Amy, let me give you away on Saturday,"

Lita's mouth dropped and she covered her face in surprise then put her hand on her heart.

"Daddy you mean it? You really want to give me away?" she asked astonished by what was happening. He took her hands and squeezed them warmly.

"It would be more than I could ever ask for," he said and Lita felt the first of many tears start to form in her eyes and she flung her arms around her father gratefully.

Suddenly Trish ran out of the house and headed towards Lita but when the red-head saw her she ran towards her instead. They met in the middle of colliding both eager to speak but Lita went first.

"Trish you'll never believe it but my Dad is here and he wants to give me away!" Lita exclaimed excitedly.

"Lita I have to tell you something," Trish said.

"I know this is one of the surprises you were talking about, well you were right this is one of the biggest surprises I've ever had!" Lita said ecstatically.

"Lita listen to me that's not what happened Edge didn't persuade your father to give you away," Trish said and Lita's smile faded.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Hey what's going on over here? You sharing the good news without your old man?" Lita's father said.

"Dad what changed your mind why did you decide to walk me down the isle?" Lita asked him.

"Because we've been distant for too long Amy, and what better way to show how much I care about you than walking you down the isle?" he answered convincingly, "Its time to close the gap don't you think?"

Lita nodded and took both her father and Edge's hand.

"Absolutely, come on let me introduce you to Mr. McMahon dad," she said happily and Trish watched them go snarling then she whipped out her cell phone and called the only person who had the Divine Authority to help Lita.

"Shawn?" she said when the Showstoppa answered his cell phone, "Its Trish I need you to come to the dining room right away, its Edge he's lying to Lita again and he even got her father in on it this time,"

"I know," Shawn replied looking at the unassuming woman in front of him, "I'll be there," he said as the Hardyz put their arms around the woman nodding their heads at HBK, "Or should I say, we'll be there," he said and hung up the phone leaving Trish with a grin on her face.

"God bless those Hardy Boyz," she said and ran back into the McMahon compound after Lita and Edge.

In the Palatial McMahon-Helmsley garden:

"If you have to go I won't keep you," the woman said to HBK.

"I'd have to go but you're coming with me," Shawn said giving the woman his arm to take and she took it tentatively.

"Its alright Mrs. Dumas, Shawn's good people, unlike that bastard Edge," Matt Hardy reassured Lita's mother.

"Watch your mouth," Shawn admonished V.1 who apologized bashfully.

Mrs. Dumas smiled at the handsome Texan and turned to Jeff Hardy, "I like him," she said and Jeff smiled, "Let's go," she told Shawn and together with the Hardyz they made their way out of the huge palatial garden and back into the house towards the McMahon Lower Ground Dining Room. As he turned the door handle Shawn was approached suddenly by Lita but she was staring at him strangely.

"You're not my daughter," Mrs Dumas said to the fiery red-headed woman.

"Must be a crazy fan - did I say that out loud?" Jeff said to his brother who shook his head at his slow witted sibling.

"Can we help you?" he said to the woman and she turned specifically to Shawn Michaels.

"Its over for you St. Michaels," she said and disappeared leaving Shawn and his Carolinian guests completely mystified.

"She looked like Lita," Mrs. Dumas said.

"She sounded like Lita," The Hardyz said and Shawn frowned in concern wondering who this woman was that looked, sounded and obviously wanted to be Anointed Amy, his eternal soul mate and apparently his true love?


	16. Hide and Seek

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: M

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

A/N: This chapter is rated M for scenes of violence.

Sixteen - Hide and Seek

Back inside the McMahon-Helmsley Compound . . .

After coming outside and seeing how pissed off Trish was Carlito decided to lighten the mood by suggesting they all play a game of hide and seek. After much protest Vince decided to play as well. The hiders were Vince, Nitro, Carlito, Edge and Stephanie; the seekers were Linda, Hunter, Trish, Melina and Lita.

"Found him!" Trish shouted ten seconds after everyone started playing. Carlito looked up from the cupboard irritated.

"That's not fair you already knew where I was!" he protested.

"I know where everybody is," she said.

"Okay you go hide and I'll seek," he said getting out of the cupboard while she found a place to hide, "Okay I'm coming for you now," he said and started to move towards where she had run.

As he did so he realized how big the McMahon-Helmsley Compound really was. You could build another room right where he was standing. Man what I would do if I had a key to this place he thought. Then it occurred to him, he'd just pull a Helmsley and make a copy of the key! Carlito rubbed his hands together and started planning the first party.

"What are you looking so happy about?" Shane O'Mac asked creeping up on the cool one and subsequently made him lose his cool.

"What you sneaking up on me for?" Carlito said and Shane laughed.

"I thought you were supposed to be cool?" he said snickering.

"Yeah well that was not cool!" Carlito said.

"Calm down calm down, what are you doing here anyway?" Shane asked him.

"Your father invited Edge and Lita over to congratulate them on the wedding, we came along,"

"And we is?" Shane asked.

"Trish, Melina and the entire WWE roster," Carlito answered.

"So is Trish who you're looking for?" Shane asked and Carlito nodded, "Come with me," Shane said and Carlito followed him curiously into the library. The room was stocked not only with books but with wrestling tapes piled high and on many shelves. At the back there were four huge windows and Shane bought Carlito over to the fourth one. Hel knelt down and knocked on the window seat.

"Trish come on out!" Shane said and the blond emerged from the window seat looking none too pleased and Carlito smiled.

"How did you know she was in there?" he asked amazed.

"Trish, The Rock and I used to play hide and seek all the time and that was where I found her - and The Rock," Shane said and Carlito frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"They were making out there when I found them, it was a very short game for me but it went on for hours for them," Shane said rubbing Trish's face in it.

"That's it you're going down!" Trish yelled and lunged at Shane who ran into a bookcase causing several books to fall out and hit him on the head as he landed on his butt.

"She told you and The Truth does not lie," Carlito said and started picking up tapes and putting them back on the shelf, "Hey what's this?" Carlito said pulling out a tape with 'DANGER' marked on it and handing it to Shane who looked at it and shrugged. He pulled off the sleeve and read the label out loud:

"To use when Hunter goes too far," it said and Trish, Carlito and Shane looked at each other, "You getting any readings on this Stratus?" he said waving the tape in front of her but she was way too mad to pick up anything from it anyway and Shane turned back to Carlito, "Well I guess there's only one way to find out," he said and walked towards the VCR and giant Plasma TV. He put in the tape and pressed play.

In the Northwest Wing:

Melina found herself on the top of the stairs looking over at all the bedrooms wondering which one to go into. She chose the third one on the left and entered into a pink room with big flower wallpaper and toys scattered all over the floor and concluded that it was Aurora's nursery. She walked around feeling like a kid herself at the sight of so much random kids' stuff including a Hello Kitty toy chest. There wee pictures on the wall that other children must have drawn and a shelf of cards Hunter and Stephanie had received from people congratulating them on the birth of Aurora, including the one that she and Nitro sent. She picked it up and read the message inside: _Congratulations on having a very special baby girl. _Melina smiled she had no idea at the time how right she was. She put the card back on the shelf and looked over by the far window at the big white crib where Aurora slept. Deciding to put the game on hold for a sec she went over to Aurora and watched her sleep. Leaning over her crib Melina smiled fondly at the little babe. Man she had it made so young but God didn't care abut that he was more interested in her health and strength. Aurora stirred and Melina put her hand on her gently and she quieted down instantly.

"_Hush little baby don't say a word, _

_When you came along the whole world heard._

_You may have all this tremendous wealth _

_But all that matters is your precious health, _

_When you grow up all the boys will say,_

"_I'm gonna marry that girl someday"_

"But if one of them comes on too strong, Daddy's gonna kick his ass all night long, whooo!" Hunter added coming over to Melina who turned to him laughing.

"With all due respect Hunter I think this is one woman you don't have to worry about protecting," Melina said.

"Please, you guys are blessed with all these gifts but men still mess with you. A father's job is never done when it comes to protecting his daughter," Hunter said.

"That's why I depend on the Almighty Father to look after me and you and your family," Melina said, "You really are blessed to have what you have Hunter,"

"I didn't always have this Mel, you don't have to tell me I'm blessed l know, not only to have the job of my dreams but to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world with a little girl that could kick anyone's ass with the weather and friends who have been appointed by God to look after me and the whole wrestling world," Hunter said.

"Well if you believe that you are blessed, why don't you believe in Jesus Christ?" Melina asked.

"Because I don't need Him. Before Jesus there was still God, Hell before Adam there was God. If you're down with the Big Cheese you don't have to be down with anyone else," Hunter argued, "I choose not to believe in Jesus Christ but I believe in His Father," Hunter said and Melina shook her head dismissively knowing that Hunter would never get into Heaven that way so she thought of the best way to explain it to him.

"Okay consider this: you do something really bad and you want God to forgive you but He won't," she said.

"Why not?" Hunter asked.

"Because no one cared enough to speak out against God on your behalf. That's what Noah did. Aswell as Abraham and Moses and God listened to them and spared people's lives, that's who Jesus is Hunter, He's a friend who will always have your back,"

Hunter nodded thinking of his relationship with Shawn, "Cool so you're saying Jesus is my friend?" he asked and Melina patted him on the back.

"The best friend you'll ever have," she said with a warm smile. Melina heard a sniffling sound and walked over to the Hello Kitty toy chest and flipped it open.

"Found you!" she said to Linda who wiped the tears from her eyes.

"You found me alright now let's go find my husband," she said as Melina helped her out of the box.

Hunter smiled deviously knowing just where to look, "You okay Linda?" he asked his mother-in-law Linda nodded, "I just don't understand why my husband still has it in for you after all these years, you're such a good man, Vince will never accept you as part of the McMahon family," she said and Hunter put his arm around her.

"And he never will, now let's find that ugly old bastard!" he said with a smile closing the nursery door behind them and Aurora turned to her other side. She breathed out and the window frosted over in the shape of a word. 'DANGER' it read, the sky suddenly turned to grey and began to cloud over. Aurora's eyes popped open and were as clear as ice, her white crib turned into an igloo protecting her from the demonic forces circling the McMahon-Helmsley Compound.

"Danger," she said but in a baby voice that no-one could hear.

Downstairs in the Vince McMahon Lounge:

_That's odd _thought Lita looking out of the window at the sky which was turning grey and suddenly the afternoon wasn't looking so bright. She stepped on something and realized that it was a remote for which device she wasn't sure but the loud music blasting from the stereo was a dead give away. Edge flew out of the cupboard which was next to one of the large speakers and grabbed his head trying to lessen the volume in his ears. Lita laughed as Motorhead's Ace of Spades blasted throughout the house. _Hunter must have been in here last _Lita thought thinking that song wasn't really up Vince's alley.

"That's one way of finding someone," Edge said turning off the stereo.

"Hey I like that song," Lita complained and pressed the on button on the remote starting the music up again. Edge covered his ears fearing he might go deaf.

"Fine, if you're not gonna turn it off I'll change it something more appropriate," he said and went over to the McMahon-Helmsely CD collection, "This should be okay," he said pulling out Kate Bush. He ejected Motorhead and put on the CD and the room was filled with the sound of Kate Bush's This Woman's Work. Lita smiled in spite of herself, it was a good choice. The melody and tone were appropriate to her situation her father had been a lot of work and as he entered the room she couldn't think of a better to share this song with. Her father came over to her and they danced to the song while Edge watched admiring his role in this family reunion. The doorbell rang and Edge went to answer the door. Who he saw on the other side of it took the tune out of his heart and the smile off his face.

"Show's over party boy where's Lita?" Shawn asked.

"You just can't stay away from us can you?" Edge said with contempt

"The more I stay away the more you try to get away with, well not this time Edge, this time you've gone too far. Never mess with family!" Shawn said and pushed the door knocking Edge backwards and the Rated R Superstar saw Lita 's mother standing next to HBK looking very angry.

"Hello Mrs. Dumas," he said nervously.

"Where's my daughter?" she asked bluntly and Edge raked his hands through his hair in distress, "I don't know," he said.

"More lies," Shawn said and pushed his way into the lounge bringing Mrs. Dumas with him. Edge suddenly saw his whole world crashing down around him and h knew he had to take drastic action if thing were going to go according to plan.

So he pulled Shawn back by his coat sleeve and HBK went to punch him but Edge clotheslined him on the hardwood floor then put him in a rear-naked choke and locked it in until the Showstoppa passed out.

Mrs. Dumas looked on in horror then Edge got to his feet and speared her to the ground. When she was flat on her back he carried her round the back of the McMahon-Helmsley estate to the Palatial Gardens where all the cars were. Behind the garage there was a trap door that led to the basement, he opened it and put her in there. Then he came back for Shawn and carried him to where he had put Lita's mother only Shawn came to and jumped out of Edge's grip. Edge pulled him back and he turned and swung at him again but he missed and fell into Edge's fist. Shawn felt like the left side of his face had been set on fire but Edge wasn't done yet. He punched him again and this time he blackened his eye. Shawn staggered back from the force of the punch then Edge punched him in the mouth and blood burst up into the air like Triple H's entrance shtick expect it wasn't water.

Shawn held his mouth and saw the blood and looked up at Edge and told him to bring it just like The Rock and Edge delivered; he punched Shawn so hard his jaw cracked and he fell to the ground unconscious. Edge looked at his knuckles they were stained with HBK's blood. He dragged Shawn to the basement closing the trap door behind him and locking it putting the key in his pocket and told himself he'd let them out after the wedding. He went back into the house and watched Lita dance with her father.

"I love it when a plan comes together, "he said smiling not knowing that Nitro who had been hiding outside had seen the whole thing.

Back inside . . .

Hunter, Linda and Melina walked to the top of the house wondering where Vince could be hiding. Hunter looked at the many rooms across the landing thinking Vince could be in anyone of them.

"You know we really should consider painting this passage another color, this eggshell creamy white just isn't very attractive," Linda said looking along the walls. Melina thought about it, "You know Nitro and I are considering repainting the house, I'm leaning towards mauve," she said and Linda considered how the house would look in that color.

"Maybe a light color like pink," she said and suddenly the all stopped walking and looked up, something was moving around in the cellar. Hunter smirked,

"I think we've found him," he said and went to pull the chair connected to the cellar door in the ceiling.

"Vince come out come out wherever you are," he said but Linda stopped him from opening the door.

"That door doesn't have any steps attached to it, if you pull it open he might fall out," she said.

"So hw did he get in there?" Melina asked.

"You can get in from outside," Linda said.

"Come out Vince we know you're in there," Hunter said but the mogul refused.

"You know Linda I was thinking maybe you should repaint the passage," Hunter said mischievously.

"Do you have any suggestions?" she asked.

"I was thinking horse manure brown, you know or big ass red you know and then we'd do the skirting board puke green how's that sound?" Hunter suggested.

"That sounds really . . . cool!" Linda said going along with Hunter's rib.

"Yeah and you could tape all your pictures of when you embarrassed Vince up," Melina said adding to the fun, "especially that one of you ramming his head up Big Show's behind,"

"Why wait? I say we go to my house and get as many of those pictures as we can and do a montage starting all the way back to when DX first got started," Hunter said excitedly.

"Alright come on let's go!" Linda said.

"No!" Vince yelled and stamped on the cellar floor accidentally stomping on the door which was weak and he fell right through it.

"Vince!" Linda cried out but Hunter pulled her back and told her to look up; there was all this stuff piled high about to fall on Vince.

"Quick Hunter help me up!" Vince said and Hunter thought about it for a while and Vince scowled, "I swear to God Almighty if any of that stuff falls on me you'll live to regret it!"

"Now where have I heard that before?" Hunter thought sarcastically.

"Hunter help him up," Linda said and Hunter sighed.

"Okay," he moaned and stood Vince to his feet.

"Thank you," Vince said and Hunter pointed up.

"You're still standing under the cellar," he said and Vince went to move when everything that was piled up came crashing down on him. Melina and Linda watched in shock with their moves covered while Hunter laughed his ass off.

"Man I need to get to my cell, Shawn has got to hear this," he said walking downstairs. Linda and Melina helped Vince out of the pile of junk and when they saw his face they felt like leaving too, in fact they took off running as Vince raised his finger threateningly to the sky.

"That man has pushed me too far this time," he said, "And now he's gonna find out just how far,"

Vince waked down the stairs and Linda and Melina looked at each other not having a clue what Vince was talking about.

Downstairs:

Hunter walked to the Vince McMahon lounge to get better reception but Shawn's phone went straight to voicemail.

"Hey Shawn you just missed Vince embarrassing himself in his own home, call me and I'll fill you in," he said and hung up, then Carlito, Trish and Shane came out of the library looking traumatized.

"Peligro," Carlito said meaning 'danger'. The Lord told him Hunter was in _mucho_ peligro and Aurora couldn't save him.

_"Hey guys yo_u'd never believe what Vince did," he said and their eyes widened at the mention of Vince's name, "What's up with you guys?" he asked them as they stood there stunned.

"Dad!" Shane yelled running over to his father, "Can I talk to you for a second?" he asked but his father dismissed him.

"Not now I've got some urgent business to take care of," he said marching towards The Game who still had his trademark smirk on his handsome face.

"You think you're a real tough sonofabitch don't you?" he said aggressively and Hunter nodded, "Well I've got something that's gonna make you cry like a little girl," Vince yelled and marched into the lounge where Carlito and Shane McMahon tried to pull him back.

Trish came over to Hunter and warned him of what was coming, "You might wanna hold your stomach because you're about to lose your Britney Breakfast," she said and Hunter frowned walking into the library with Linda while Melina walked up to Trish and asked her where Nitro was.

"Nitro!" Trish yelled and ran out of the house with Melina running behind her, "Wait!" she said turning around to Melina, "You have to stay here,"

"Why?" Melina said.

"We shouldn't all go out there," she said and Melina shook her head furiously.

"No I'm coming with you, plus Lita's still here," she argued and Lita poked her head around the door.

"What's going on girls?" she said still smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"It's Nitro he's in trouble," Trish said, "But if we all go outside then we're all in trouble too!"

"Okay I'll stay here," Lita said still wrapping her arms around Edge and Trish scowled and pulled Lita over to her possessively.

"No, I would rather you die," she said seriously and Lita looked at her for an explanation but the blond zeroed in on Edge.

"I'm not done with you," she said and ran out of the house taking Lita with her.

As the angelic trio exited the house Trish lead them round to the back of the Palatial McMahon Garden over to an oak tree. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them and as they drew nearer they saw a gathering of people around the tree. On closer inspection they wee all women and they had taken Nitro and dragged him to the second branch of the tree and tied a rope around his neck which was attached to the branch above it. Lita snarled as they approached the woman, "Witches," she said clenching her fists.

"Oh no!" Melina said covering her mouth and Trish put her hand on her shoulder to calm her as they drew closer to what Lita had accurately observed as witches, eight of them to be exact.

"Who are they" Lita asked Trish not taking her eyes off the women.

"The only one you need to worry about is Abatha, she the one in the middle," Trish replied.

As devastating as it was to admit Abatha was a dead ringer for Lita, the only difference was her eyes were green whereas Lita's eyes were hazel. Melina observed the woman standing to Abatha's left, she too was Puerto Rican and curvy like Melina and the one on Abatha's right was curvy and blond like Trish.

"They're trying to copy us!" Melina said appalled and lunged forward but Trish held her back.

"That's Mickie James, Mabatha's using her body as a host!" Trish said and Lita and Melina looked at Trish in shock, "That's right; Torrie, Mickie and Vicky were all snatched by these witches and if we kill them, Torrie, Mickie and Vicky will die,"

Why don't you get your own style and your own man Mickie!" Melina yelled angrily and Trish shook her and told her to remember who she was before she lost her Miraculous powers again.

"She's fiery," Mabatha said to Abatha, "She really is Latina Heat!"

Abatha put her hand up for her associate to be quiet.

"I'll begin by saying this, Abatha said looking at Melina, "you have absolutely no taste in men!"

Melina lunged for her but Trish held her back again, "That's Mickie James alright!" she yelled kicking her feet at the Women's Champion defiantly and Abatha looked at Trish, getting the Canadian's attention immediately.

"Neither do you," she said coldly and Trish smiled insincerely.

"The day The Truth listens to a witch is the day witches get into Heaven," she said and Abatha laughed along with seven other women.

"That's cute I can see why Tabby likes you," she said indicating the blond on her right who waved at Trish enthusiastically.

"Look tell us what you want so we can decide whether to destroy you or not," Lita said snarling and Abatha stepped forward and came very close to Lita.

"You on the other hand have exceptional taste in men," she said, "I'm glad I copied after you," she said and touched the side of Lita's face but pulled back instantly feeing her fingers burning as a result of touching Lita's anointed skin. Agatha looked at her finger tips and they indeed were red, "So it's true, you really are Anointed Amy,"

"Yes and now if you'll excuse me," Lita said pushing past Abatha to get to Nitro.

"Lita wait!" Trish said as Abatha gave the witch standing next to Nitro on the branch a signal and Lita realized who it was.

"Maria," she said recognizing CM Punk's girlfriend.

"One more step and I hang him high," she said and the red-head looked at Abatha who looked up at the two witches that were restraining Nitro. They were all WWE Divas; Krystal, Layla, Ashley, Kelly Kelly, Ariel, Cherry and Gillian Hall.

"Tell me what you want Abatha," she said and Abatha feigned disappointment.

"Now is that anyway to address your biggest fan?" she said, "Tabatha, Mabatha and I have been fans of yours for years and when we heard this rumor that three WWE Divas had been given special powers by God to save the world we just had to check it out, turns out that some dirt sheets are worth reading,"

"Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha - you even copied our initials!" Melina said indignantly.

"You have no Authority to Minister," Trish said.

"No but we do have the authority to massacre," Abatha sad, "Unfortunately murder is a little harder to getaway with when you don't have the supernatural powers to destroy your enemies, and that's where you come in," Agatha said to the angelic trio, "We need you so that we can cast a spell that will enable us to cover our tracks, if you don't agree to help us, cutie pie here dies,"

"No problem we'll just bring him back to life," Melina said.

"Oh yeah?" Mabatha said, "How are you gonna do that when you're nowhere near him?"

"What are you bitches talking about?" Melina asked losing her patience and Mabatha pointed to the black van over by the garage.

"Get in," Mabatha said and Melina looked over at Trish who nodded.

"We have no choice, if we don't go with them, they'll kill Johnny," she said.

"That's right, now get in and we'll let Johnny Lame-O go," Tabatha said.

"No," Lita said clearly, "you let him go first and then we'll come with you," she said.

Abatha took a pendant of Jesus Christ from out of her pocket and held it up in front of Lita.

"Swear on your Savior's Life," she said.

"If you continue that's as close as you're ever gonna get to him," Lita said and Abatha smiled evilly.

"I'll take my chances," she said and signaled for her cohorts to let Nitro go which they did by pushing him off the tree. Lita snarled at her.

"That wasn't very nice," she said, "You better watch your back Abatha,"

"Oh don't worry I've always got someone watching my back," she said as they witches fled into the van, "Ladies first," she said to Lita who looked over at Nitro and told him to tell Edge she'd be back in time for the wedding before getting in with Melina and Trish.

Nitro crawled to his feet and ran after the van but not fast enough to stop it. He ran back to the McMahon estate and burst through the door. He could hear a sound coming form the Vince McMahon Lounge that sounded like screaming and yelling and when he flew inside he saw that it was exactly what it was. Hunter was screaming something about a videotape which Vince was hiding behind his back but all Nitro could hear was the sound of HBK's jaw breaking and Lita, Melina and Trish being kidnapped by witches. Nitro held his head and screamed as loud as he could causing everyone to turn around and look at him in shock. When all eyes were finally on him he walked over to Edge and punched him in the face.

"That's the first thing," he said shaking his hand out, "the second thing is that Melina, Trish and Melina have all been kidnapped by witches!"

Shane, Hunter and Vince looked at Nitro like he was crazy.

"What?" Linda said.

"I said Melina, Trish and Lita have been kidnapped by witches!" Nitro said again.

"And Edge invited them!" Carlito yelled while Nitro tried to catch his breath.

"No he just knocked HBK's lights out and dragged him and Lita's mom down into the basement," Nitro said and everyone looked at Edge who was holding his jaw.

"I had no choice they were possessed!" he said.

"Possessed?" Nitro said incredulously.

"Yes! Shawn was screaming all these accusations at me and so was Amy's mother, I had no choice but to protect myself and them as well," Edge said and everyone bought his story thinking what reason would he have to lie? Nitro came over to him awkwardly.

"Gees Edge I'm sorry," he said putting his hand on Edge's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, look I know this ain't gonna sound right but I say we leave Shawn and Mrs. Dumas down in the basement until we get ATM back," Edge said, "Who knows how dangerous they could be without Amy, Trish and Melina here to protect us from their powers?"

Everyone nodded, "Okay let's find our girls," Linda said.

"Lucky break for you Hunter," Vince said, "you don't need Shawn to see what's on this tape, he might set you on fire,"

Hunter lunged for the videotape again but Vince wouldn't let him near it.

"Vince this isn't fair that was years ago and Shawn and I weren't even talking!" Hunter pleaded.

"Excuses, excuses," Vince said shaking his head, "You better calm down pal or else I'm gonna let this huge cat right outta the bag! Wouldn't it be a shame to lose your wife and best friend all at once?"

Hunter clenched his fists irate, never had he wanted to punch Vince as much as he did right at that moment but he had to admit Vince had his number and that weren't easy to admit. Shawn and Stephanie could never see what was on that tape. When Vince saw that Hunter was backing all the way down he lowered the tape and smiled.

"Okay then now that we understand each other let's hurry up and find those witches, no-one kidnaps my Divas and gets away with it!"

"What about Shawn and Mrs. Dumas?" Nitro asked concerned.

"Stephanie's still hiding in the basement, she'll take care of them," Vince replied and Edge swallowed hard thinking how much trouble he'd be in if the truth came out about what he did to HBK and Lita's mother, he had to think of something fast.

"I'll catch up with you guys," he said, "I think I'll go down to the basement and apologize for what I did, just in case they're coming around,"

"Maybe we all should check on them?" Linda said.

"No you guys better get going before those witches get even further away from us," Edge said.

"Okay, call me on my cell Edge and we'll tell you where we are. Steph's got my number," Shane said and The McMahons, Nitro and Carlito left to go find ATM and bring all the WWE Divas back to the McMahon-Helmsely Compound.

When they finally left Edge headed down to the basement. There he saw two figures laying on their backs, it was just as he had left them, lying helpless and unconscious but it was Shawn he was taking back upstairs dragging him by his feet back into the house.

"It's time to stop the show once and for all," he said throwing the unconscious body of HBK over his shoulder and headed straight for the attic where no-one would disturb them.

Or so he thought . . .


	17. Hungry Like A Wolf

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: M

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

A/N: This chapter is rated M for scenes of violence and may offend some readers.

Seventeen - Hungry Like A Wolf

In the attic . . .

Edge started looking around for Stephanie then he saw a trunk by the back in the shadows.

"Stephanie come out, come out wherever you are," he called heading over to the trunk. He flung the lid back and she jumped out.

"Well its about time, I've been hiding for like an hour!" she said and Edge pulled her out of the trunk and started to choke her out. Stephanie fought pulling down wine racks and knocking over unopened cases of Cristal but Edge wouldn't let her go.

He was possessed.

As she started to fade a cold chill crept up out of nowhere and it started to hail and a mighty wind blew straight through the house. Edge's arms started to freeze and he released Stephanie and she fell to the floor gasping for air. She crawled onto her back and watched the hail and wind come down in the basement not affecting her but turning Edge into ice. Eventually he froze looking like a rabid wolf which was more chilling than the ice and wind. Stephanie shuddered. She got up shakily and noticed two bodies laying still by her, on closer inspection she saw that one of the persons was Shawn Michaels and she didn't recognize who the other person was. She touched the side of Shawn's face and saw that his jaw was broken. She scurried to the phone outside and called 911 then went to find her parents, Hunter and everybody else but they were nowhere to be found the house was empty.

She ran to her little girl's nursery and took Aurora Rose out of her crib and brought her back downstairs.

"Where'd everybody go baby?" she said as the ambulance came and Aurora just slept against her chest, "Sure you can save my life but you can't talk," Stephanie said with a smile unaware that Edge was thawing out and about to finish what he started with HBK.

Meanwhile at Titan Tower, Stamford, CT:

Vince McMahon called an emergency meeting to tell all the WWE and ECW Superstars what had happened to Lita, Trish and Melina. Many were incredulous but Vince assured them it wasn't a joke and told them to be on the look out for them.

"What do they look like?" Mr. Kennedy asked and Vince cleared his throat uncertain of how to explain exactly what had happened.

"They look like the WWE Divas," he said and the WWE Superstars gasped, "Nitro please explain to your fellow Superstars exactly what you saw in the Palatial Gardens,"

Nitro stepped forward looking at his wedding ring and putting it in his hand and squeezing it hoping Melina would feel him somehow, "There were eight of them altogether but there are three that lead the rest. There's Tabatha who looks like Trish and she's using Torrie Wilson's body as a host, then there's Abatha who looks exactly like Lita and she took Victoria's body hostage and lastly there's Mabatha . . ." Nitro broke off, "She took Melina and told her to get in the van otherwise they were gonna kill me. Melina was gonna fight them but she didn't want anything to happen to me and I swear to God if that bitch Mickie James does anything to hurt my wife - "

"Thank you Nitro that will be all!" Vince said escorting the distraught husband back to his seat, "So we're looking for copycats people, they're fans and they call themselves ATM: Authority to Massacre,"

Shelton looked around and so did the other male Superstars, they finally noticed that there wasn't a Diva in sight, "Where's Krystal?" he asked concerned.

"She's been taken," Vince replied sadly.

"Where's Layla?" MVP asked concerned.

"They took her too," Vince answered.

"And Ashley, they took her too?" London and Kendrick asked.

"Look guys the fact that Krystal, Layla, Ashley, Kelly Kelly, Ariel, Gillian and Cherry are all being harvested by these witches from Hell is the least of our problems," Randy said coming to his feet to address the sea of concerned faces.

"Nearly all the WWE Divas have been taken hostage I'd say that was a pretty big problem!" Vince snapped at The King's Oracle who shook his head and pulled out a Polaroid.

"No it isn't, look," Randy said handing Vince the picture and the mogul examined it closely.

"What is this Orton?" he asked confused, "Where'd you find this?"

"I didn't find it God gave it to me," Randy replied.

"It looks like Lita's on her deathbed, and Shawn Michaels is at her funeral what does it mean?" Vince asked TKO.

"It means if we don't find ATM, Lita will be on her deathbed and Shawn Michaels will be at her funeral along with the rest of us," Randy explained and he turned to his co-workers with a stern look on his face, "These witches are murderers and they need Lita, Trish and Melina to cover their tracks,"

"You mean to use as scapegoats?" Mr. Kennedy asked.

"Or worse, they could kill Torrie, Victoria and Mickie James and let ATM take the wrap for it," Vince said realizing the severity of this catastrophe, "That's why we have to find these bitches - I mean witches. Does anybody know anything that could help us?"

Slowly TNA Knockout Christie Hemme put her hand up and everyone turned to look at the ex-WWE Diva.

"Yes Christie?" Vince asked the Diva Search winner who felt odd in a room full of her old colleagues from RAW and Smackdown.

"Gail and I used to get letters from them years ago then they stopped writing and we forgot about it," she said.

"The letters were written in blood," Gail Kim added uncomfortably.

"And when I was feuding with Trish one of them, it must have been Tabatha, spat at me and when I got back to the Divas locker room my cheek had turned black," Christie explained.

Nitro rubbed his face frustrated and Linda patted him on the back to comfort him.

"Okay guys you know what to look for, if you even think you might be wrong call the police and call us okay?" she said and everyone nodded and started to call around asking everyone they knew if they'd seen any of the WWE Divas recently.

As the room cleared one figure remained standing.

"Deadman?" Hunter said, "Do you know anything?"

"What don't I know, they harrassed my family for months," Taker replied.

"Can you help us?" Hunter asked coming closer to The Deadman.

"I know a little witchcraft I might even know how to find them," he answered and Vince clapped his hands together gratefully.

"Fantastic let's get on with it," he said.

"I need something of each of your girlfriends," Taker said coming up to Nitro and Carlito.

"Like what?" Randy asked suspiciously.

"Wait-a-minute," Carlito said pulling TKO and Nitro to one side.

"What?" Nitro asked eager to get on with the search.

"I don't think we should rely on Undertaker's powers I think we should do this ourselves," Carlito said, "I mean ATM work for God we can't use witchcraft to find them they might get into trouble you know, what if something goes wrong?"

"But Taker knows more about these witches than we do, without him we've got nothing," Nitro said, "It's not like we believe in witchcraft, we're just gonna use it to find our girlfriends and the soon-to-be Mrs. Amy Copeland,"

"Or we figure out a safe, less Hell bound way to find them," Carlito suggested.

"And what would that be?" Nitro asked impatiently worrying about Melina more and more with every passing second.

"Ask LC, Carla, Cameron and Cassidy if they know anything. Those kids know everything about wrestling, they're bound to know about these witches too since they're such big fans of ATM as wrestlers," Carlito suggested with great enthusiasm.

Undertaker came over to El Con Dios getting a sense of doubt from him, "You're scared of witches aren't you?" he asked Carlito.

"I just don't want to be involved in any black magic," he said and Randy and Nitro motioned for the Deadman to take a hike.

"Beat it Deadman, El Con Dios is right we don't want any trouble with the devil, we'll talk to LC and the girls - ow!" Nitro yelped holding his head.

"Ow!" Carlito said afterwards.

"Hey what are you doing?" Randy asked Taker who had taken a hair from Carlito and Nitro's heads closing the strands in his palm. The three amigos watched as Taker's eyes went back into his head.

"They're okay," he said and his eyes came back to normal.

"What did you do?" Carlito demanded angrily clutching his afro.

"I read your hairs for traces of Lita, Trish and Melina since your hair was most probably touched by any if not all three of them in the past 24 hours. If the hair stiffened it would mean they were dead," Taker explained and Carlito's heart stopped for a moment at the idea of losing Trish, let alone Lita and Melina.

"Oh thank God," Nitro said.

"No thank satan," Randy said angrily giving Undertaker a disapproving look and Carlito grimaced at the Deadman.

"Don't ever touch Carlito's hair again," he said annoyed.

"Yeah Taker," Randy said putting his arm around Carlito protectively and ushering Nitro and Shelton over to leave and search for ATM and the WWE Divas, "That was not cool," he said and The Deadman smiled at the cocky upstart with the newfound sense of purpose.

"Good for you Randy," he said proud of the man formerly known as a Legend Killer, "Good for you,"

Back at the McMahon-Helmsley Compound:

In the attic, HBK came to and felt his jaw, it was broken and hurt like Hell. _Amy can you hear me? _Shawn asked tapping into the Spirit Realm hoping his eternal soul mate could hear him,_ I need healing now_ he said and the Holy Spirit interceded on his behalf and his jaw was fixed within seconds.

"Its good to be soulmates with Anointed Amy," he smiled and started to look around for Lita's mother but she was not around, he was alone in Vince McMahon's attic or so he thought. A distant figure lurked in the shadows and he picked himself up and moved towards it.

"It's nothing just a load of old books and magazines," Shawn said coming over to the stack of paraphenalia and he opened the trap door and jumped down to the hallway, he didn't expect Edge to catch him.

"Let go of me," he said but Edge just laughed refusing to let go of the resilient HBK, instead he dragged him into a huge white bathroom and locked the door. HBK crashed into the huge room hitting his head against the floor but he was too anointed to pass out, there was no way the Holy Spirit was leaving himself vulnerable to the crazed Canadian looking over at him with vampiric eyes.

"You're possessed," he said looking at Edge closely getting to his feet.

Edge applauded his observation, "That's why you're the top dog on RAW you're smart; I guess you are better than me Shawn," he said, "What I don't understand is why after everything you've accomplished in your 20 plus year career you had to take my woman away from me as well as my match against The Rock at WM23,"

Shawn got to his feet and attempted to leave but Edge pushed him back against the bathtub and Shawn felt his back snap.

"Shit," he said clenching the sensitive area, "I didn't steal Lita from you Edge, don't make the same mistake my wife made listen to reason. Nothing would please me more then to see you settle down with a cool chick like Lita, she may be my eternal soul mate but she's your bride-to-be,"

Edge listened wanting to hear what Shawn really thought of him for a change and he let HBK get to his feet and approach him without attacking him, "So you understand why I did what I had to do," he said hopefully a deranged look in his eye and Shawn gulped nervously; he wanted to talk to Edge not this guy who was possessed by a demon of somekind. Shawn soon realized it was the same demon that possessed Rebecca, it was a jealous demon and it was out to destroy him.

"No, there is no excuse for what you did Edge, you lied to the woman you're marrying in a few weeks, you ruined something special and as soon as I get out of here I'm gonna tell her what you did," Shawn said and Edge gave him a cocky grin.

"And when exactly will that be Shawn?" he asked meanacingly, "I have no intention of letting you out of this bathroom and there's no way in Hell you're going to stop me from marrying Lita,"

Shawn got a really bad feeling all of a sudden, "Why did you bring me in here?" he asked Edge nervously, "You could have left me in the attic,"

"I figured we'd have more privacy here, I don't want anyone disturbing us," Edge replied and Shawn frowned.

"Edge what have you got in that tub?" Shawn asked coming a little closer so he could see what it was.

"It's oil, you know the kind Randy uses to grease up before matches, I found a whole case of the stuff in Vince's garage," Edge said.

The bath tub was filled with baby oil but that wasn't the weirdest part, the oil was bubbling it was extremely hot.

"Why is it so hot?" Shawn asked feeling his heart racing so fast he feared it might jump out of his chest and Edge's disturbed look made it even harder for him to think he was just gonna walk out of there unharmed.

"I'm not the only one touched by the anointing , only I intend to use it as I desire," Edge replied and Shawn almost threw up when he realized that he was talking to the devil, "That's right I'm the fallen angel in the flesh and I'm going to boil you in oil until you admit you're in love with Lita, I won't live in your shadow one minute after today I want Amy's anointing and I'm gonna take it from you!" Edge yelled and Shawn turned and ran for the door but he was dragged back by his hair which Edge pulled out by the root until HBK was surrounded by shreads of his newly dyed hair.

"Oh Lord help me," HBK prayed as Edge pulled him by his spray painted shirt and shook him back and forth like a rag doll ripping the garment from his body and pulling the cross from around his neck. Shawn tried to get away but Edge was relentless; he stripped HBK down to his bare bones and carried him over to the boiling tub of oil and dropped him into it.

"ARGH!" Shawn screamed as the baby oil burnt his already golden brown skin and Edge held him down so he couldn't get out.

"Say it Shawn say 'I'm in love with Lita' or the only time you'll ever see her again will be with your precious Jesus Christ in Heaven!" Edge sounded like death and he looked twice as bad.

Shawn prayed to the Lord and bombarded the Heavenlies with his cries, "O Lord make Adam see reason, save him with Your amazing Grace, he's possessed and he's out of his mind, I offer up myself as a sacrifice if you would spare his life Lord, I only want what's best for him and Amy. I ask you Holy Father to forgive Him and take my flesh as an offering of faith!"

"Your God cannot help you, nobody can hear your cries, die Shawn die!" Edge cried pushing HBK down into the boiling oil not even caring that his own hands were blistering and turning into boils, he just wanted HBK dead so he could harvest the anointing given to him by Anointed Amy.

But Shawn wouldn't give it up, he refused to let the devil take what was rightfully his and he miraculously emerged from under the boiling oil unburned, unscarred not even a scratch was on him, and the devil trembled with fear before the eyes of the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels.

"Psalm 118 says those who love God shall not die, but live!" Shawn yelled and stepped out of the boiling oil as if nothing had happened backing Edge into a corner then he extended his hands to him, "Come here Adam and let the light of the Lord shine on you," he said and Edge looked around fearfully feeling the presence of some uncommon spirit in the huge white bathroom. Shawn held him still and smiled at him warmly, "You are not welcome here satan, get out now!"

Edge's face contorted into a gargoyle shape and he fell back suddenly a ungodly cry came out of his mouth and Shawn watched as the demonic spirit that had entered his body left the bathoom. Edge opened his eyes and looked at the naked greasy guy in front of him and wondered if it was the year 2000 and Christian was throwing another one of his sexy house parties.

"Hey Shawn, hot enough for you?" he said and HBK smiled and went to grab one of Vince's terracotta towels.

"Welcome back Adam, you had me scared for a minute there man," he said.

"Why what happened?" Edge asked getting to his feet wondering why he was alone in a bathroom with HBK.

"You were possessed by satan, he tried to kill me and take my anointing," Shawn replied wiping the excess baby oil off his skin.

"I'm sorry did you just say what I think you said?" Edge asked the Showstoppa in disbelief.

"Yeah man, it was scary but its all good Edge Jesus saved you," Shawn replied standing naked in front of Edge who was beside himself with anxiety.

"Did I hurt you? Shawn what happened why are you covered in oil?" he asked confused by what he was seeing and hearing.

"I thought we could have a little fun so I filled the bath tub up with baby oil hoping we could have a private training session if you know what I mean," Shawn said humorously raising his eyebrow suggestively but Edge thought he was serious.

Hunter walked past the big white bathroom and heard sounds like Shawn was in pain, he ran down to his bedroom, grabbed his sledgehammer and broke the door down.

"I'm here Shawn are you okay?" he said looking for his DX partner and raised his sledgehammer high above his head about to bring it down on Edge's big blond head when Shawn snatched it from him.

"Do you have any idea what Edge and I have just been through?" Shawn said annoyed at Hunter's psychotic behavior, "Of course you don't because you don't even believe in God,"

"I do believe in God!" Hunter snapped back.

"Come on Edge let's go," Shawn said and Hunter lost it. He dragged Edge up by his hair and threw him into the bathtub not knowing it was filled to the brim with hot oil.

"ARGH!" Edge screamed and Hunter realized that he just made a terrible mistake.

"Edge I'm sorry, AURORA daddy made a boo-boo!" Hunter cried but no sign of his daughter's powers came, "AURORA?" Hunter cried again but Edge continued to burn horribly inside the huge white bath tub, Hunter scratched his head confused, _Why isn't she helping me?_ he wondered not seeing Shawn getting into the tub with Edge and cooling down the boiling hot oil instantly.

Alex/Austin's jaws dropped; they had just seen a man cool a tub of boiling oil with his body, "Oh my God," Austin whispered.

"Shawn must be an angel," Alex said in awe of what he had just seen and so was Triple H as Shawn pulled Edge closely to him caressing him until his skin stopped burning and he was back to his normal self.

"You okay Adam?" Shawn asked Lita's husband-to-be who looked over at Hunter and gave him a cocky smile wrapping his arms around Shawn and pulling him even closer.

"I am now, thanks Shawn you saved my life," Edge replied but Shawn shook his head and pointed to the sky.

"It was Jesus, I'm just a vessel for his wonderous works, praise Him not me," Shawn said and jumped as the Hardyz burst through what was left of the bathroom door.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Edge said irritated at the sight of Matt and Jeff Hardy who gawked at the sight of Hunter watching Edge and Shawn in the bath tub.

"It's not what it looks like," Hunter assured them but Jeff was a lot harder to convince that what he was seeing wasn't two men in a bathtub full of oil.

Edge laughed and Matt and Jeff scowled at the Canadian blond, "What are you two nimrods doing here anyway, can't you see I'm having a bath?"

"We're here to tell you we know what you did last Christmas," Jeff said and Edge frowned as Shawn got up to get out of the tub and slipped back down and fell on top of him. Shawn slipped and slided all over the Rated R Superstar not realizing that he was being filmed by Parapazzi Productions for the last half an hour.

"Little help?" he said to the Hardyz who pulled him out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist, "About what Edge did, it wasn't him it was the devil, Edge was possessed the whole time so leave him alone and help me talk some sense into Hunter,"

Matt Hardy frowned, "But how can that be Shawn? We spoke to Lita's mom remember? Is she possessed too?"

Shawn scratched his oily head, "I don't think so," he thought and turned back to the suddenly quiet Canadian in the bath tub.

"What are you guys talking aboot?" he said defensively and Matt stormed over to him and dragged him out of the tub by his long blond mane.

"You know full well what we're talking aboot you Canadian bastard!" Matt snapped, "You paid Lita's father $100,000,000 to give her away at your wedding!"

"That is low," Austin Starr said forgetting that he and Alex were supposed to be incognito, "Ooops," he said as Alex started beating him down angrily knowing that their cover was aboot to be blown.

"You freaking idiot why can't you do anything right?" Alex yelled but Austin didn't get a chance to answer as the Hardyz pulled them out of the bathroom closet and apprehened the videotape.

"Nice try boys but no cigar," Jeff said, "Ready Matt?" he said to his older brother who had Austin by the scruff of his hair while Jeff had Alex by the scruff of his neck.

"Ready," Matt said and the Hardyz threw the two X Division stars out of the bathroom window and into the outside pool in the McMahon Palatial Gardens and handing the Shelley Cam to HBK.

"Thanks guys you're always in the right place at the right time," he said, "Now I'm gonna need another Xtreme Makeover before we go find us some witches,"

"What about Edge?" Matt said as the Rated R Superstar fled the bathroom while the Hardyz were disposing of Paparazzi Productions. Shawn touched his lips and savored the taste Lita had enjoyed for the past 4 years.

Matt and Jeff looked at each other too confused for words, all they knew was that this engagement party slash witchhunt just got a lot more interesting.


	18. In Too Deep

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Eighteen - In Too Deep

McMahon Palatial Gardens:

The Hardyz were supposed to be looking for witches with the rest of the WWE Superstars but ended up wandering in Vince McMahon's beautiful Palatial Gardens instead, not because Matt and Jeff weren't worried about Lita enough to find her but because they were worried about her eternal soul mate.

"At least I won my Money In the Bank match!" Edge snapped.

"Well at least I didn't have to sleep my way to the top!" Hardy argued back.

Edge took exception to that but not half as much as Shawn did, "Stop talking about me like I'm not even here!" he snapped and Matt and Edge looked at each other wondering the same thing.

"You know if I didn't know better I'd say you were Lita," Jeff said and Shawn ruffled his hair the way Lita always did.

"I never thanked you for the outfit," he said smiling at Jeff fondly.

"It's just jeans and a t-shirt Shawn, but you'd look good in a garbage bag," Jeff said and Shawn pinched his cheek.

"You're so cute, you deserve to be WWE Champion, John Cena can't do the things you do in that ring," Shawn said giving Jeff a hug which the IC Champ returned confused looking over at his brother who was just as confused as he was by Shawn's affectionate behavior.

"Shawn when did you get a new tattoo?" Matt said noticing the ink on the Showstoppa's left arm. Jeff looked down and pulled up Shawn's t-shirt sleeve and put his hand over his mouth in shock.

"That's an exact copy of Lita's green meanie!" he said and Matt and Edge came over to inspect it and for sure it was Lita's monster tattoo on Shawn's arm.

"This must be God's way of keeping you two connected, God is so gangsta!" Jeff said doing a little dance in celebration of the Lord.

"Amy it's Matt can you hear me?" V.1 said shouting into Shawn's arm and Edge rolled his eyes.

"You're talking to a tattoo, no wonder Ames dumped your ass, this is how you get my lovely lady's attention," Edge said smiling at HBK. Shawn's loving smile told the Hardyz that he had Lita's spirit inside of him and Edge was just using Shawn to communicate his love to her.

"Well that explains things, you're just showing Lita's feelings Shawn," Jeff said relived, "Phew that's a load off,"

"So as long as ATM are missing, Amy's gonna communicate through HBK," Matt said and felt relieved himself, "At least I don't have to worry that she's in trouble, are you okay babe?" Matt said pulling Shawn away from Edge and stroking his hair.

Shawn slapped Matt around the face, "Get your hands off me boy!" he snapped and Edge held his sides laughing and Jeff noticed that Shawn's pierced heart tattoo had returned and Lita's green monster was gone.

"He's back to normal, super tats, Lord is there anything You can't do?" Jeff said looking up at the sky in awe of the Almighty Father's powers.

"It only works for me and Shawn, you know - two men Lita actually gives a damn about," Edge said and Matt's face fell.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he said squeezing Shawn's shoulder with a sad look in his eyes.

Shawn touched his chest, he felt a tightness in his chest like his heart was breaking and suddenly he pushed Edge back and started kicking him aggressively and Jeff noticed the green monster had returned.

"What are you doing quit kicking me Shawn!" Edge said trying to defend himself.

"That's for bribing my father into giving me away, you better tell him to take a hike before I get back!" Shawn shouted and Edge couldn't help but smile feeling close to Lita just by seeing Shawn's emotions play through his facial expression.

"My God it is you," Edge said and got to his feet taking Shawn into his arms once again but Shawn pushed him away angrily.

"Don't try and sway me I want that man out of here and out of my life I don't want him at the wedding!" Shawn snapped angrily but Edge held him firmly waiting for Shawn's big blue eyes to stop burning a hole into him.

"I just wanted you to have everything you wanted on the most important day of your life, I'm sorry I paid your father off I just wanted to make you smile baby," Edge said touching HBK's face affectionately, "I love you Amy," he said and Shawn smiled.

Shawn pretended to pass out, "Edge quit doting on me we've got some witches to hunt," he said his pierced heart tattoo returning.

"What about Hunter?" Matt said and Shawn shrugged.

"He can come too I guess," Shawn said and Matt pulled HBK to one side.

"What's the matter with you?" he said and Shawn frowned, "Aren't you doing exactly what Rebecca did to you? And what about Rebecca, your kids, DX - are you just gonna let one of the greatest factions in wrestling history die and give up on your family all in the same day?"

"What do I have to do with the death of DX, I'm not a part of it," Shawn replied and Matt realized that he was talking to Lita again, he needed to talk to Shawn and he thought of a way to do that.

"Come with me, we're gonna go see Hunter," he said taking HBK by the arm.

"Hunter? Please, he's just another one of my many, many admirers but he has control issues like you, he thinks that because he's the 10 time World Champion he actually he owns me or something," Shawn said angrily and Edge nodded and The Hardyz sighed waiting for HBK to come back to his senses and for Lita to be quiet.

Clear Water, Florida:

Brandon was waiting impatiently for Miss. Taylor to find her favorite moisturizer. Originally he had gone into the store with her but after the eighth bottle picked up, analyzed and put back down he couldn't take it no more and decided to re-join his sister who had resigned herself to the back seat of the car ages ago.

"How many is it now?" she asked him while sending LC a text message.

"Eight!" Brandon said incredulously, "The woman has looked at eight bottles of moisturizer and can't decide on any of them. We've almost been here for an hour!" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Well you know everything happens for a reason," Cassidy said waiting for a reply from LC who was searching for ATM in New York City with her sister who wanted to see her husband and tell him what was going on while Brandon and herself decided to scour Florida for them since they lived in Clear Water anyway.

"Yeah everything happens for a reason and this is reason enough for me to get out of this relationship," Brandon said moodily and Cassidy totally understood. Brandon wasn't big on time-wasting and his last few girlfriends had done a lot of that and it didn't look like Miss. Taylor was gonna be any different.

"I keep telling you Brandy you need a girl who's into the same things you are; football, wrestling, motorcycles, stuff like that," Cassidy said throwing her phone up into the air and catching it.

"I know," Brandon said looking at his watch again, he took a deep sigh and put his head back on the head rest, "But I love this woman,"

"What?" Cassidy said her phone dropping onto the car floor.

"I've had no luck here in Florida, maybe I need to pack up and move to the South and look for love outside my area code," he said.

"You mean like Texas?" Cassidy asked hopefully wanting to be as close to HBK as possible.

"Well yeah but I feel like I really need to shake things up," Brandon explained and Cassidy nodded not liking what she was hearing at all.

"What do you mean shake things up?" she asked weary of where Brandon was going with this and suddenly Miss. Taylor appeared in front of them and banged loudly on Brandon's car window.

"Whoa!" he said winding the car window down, "you kinda scared me, what's wrong did they run out of moisturizer for you to pick up and put down again for an hour?"

"No they told me to buy some or get out," Miss. Taylor answered and Cassidy rolled her eyes, "but just as I was leaving a woman came into the store to buy something from behind the counter and she pointed at the cashier, and when the cashier looked at her she combusted - the woman set her on fire!"

Miss. Taylor was hysterical and Brandon got out of the car and tried to calm her down.

"What?" he said wondering if this woman he was in love with was not only into her looks but into hallucinogenic drugs as well because she was seeing things.

"I'm telling you Brandy, look!" she said pointing to the people running out of the store. Cassidy went over to the window and noticed all the people crying then she turned hearing police cars coming towards them.

"Oh no," Brandon said as the police ran into the store along with the paramedics who were not far behind, "Did you get a good look at the woman who did it?" he asked Miss. Taylor who was shaking frantically.

"That's the craziest part," she said, "It was Trish Stratus!"

Brandon's left eyebrow shot up incredulously, "Trish Stratus?" he asked unconvinced, "Honey you need to sit down, let's go for a drive until you've come back to reality," he said opening the car door and ushering Miss. Taylor inside.

" Brandon I'm not crazy I would never make something like this up," Miss. Taylor insisted.

"No way," Cassidy said shaking her head then Brandon walked over to a group of customers who were describing what they saw in the store.

"It was that Canadian broad from Armed and Famous, she used to wrestle but she's retired now - Trish Stratus, that's who it was!" the woman said.

"Yeah it was definitely her I was up real close!" said another woman.

"Yeah it was definitely her I know that face anywhere she lives right here in Florida with her boyfriend, Carlitos, Carlito, something like that anyway," another witness added and suddenly Miss Taylor wasn't sounding so crazy.

Brandon got back into the car and told his sister to call LC.

"I'm already dialing," Cassidy replied watching the media roll up as Brandon drove her and Miss. Taylor back to the airport away from the impending circus that their home town was about to become.

NYC, New York, Lunch time, Trump Plaza, Penthouse suite:

"There's something going on outside LC," Charlotte said looking out of her hotel room window at the people gathering around on the street. Charlotte looked over at her little sister who was sitting with her legs crossed talking to Cassidy about something in Florida. Charlotte looked back down at the commotion then her cell phone rang and she saw that it was Dan.

"Hey honey what's going on down there?" she asked him as a helicopter circled above the hotel they were staying at while Dan was on business.

"Get away from the window," he told her and she frowned.

"What why?" she challenged him.

"Honey please just do it," he said gently but Charlotte could tell he was worried about something.

"I'll go inside if you tell me what's up," she said.

"You see that woman standing on the balcony to you left?" he said and Charlotte turned to look at this person her husband was describing but all he could see was a lot of red hair.

"Yeah I see her," Charlotte answered.

"Well she just pushed a man off that balcony," he said and Charlotte gasped. The woman turned to face her and Charlotte couldn't believe what she saw.

"Lita?" she asked and the woman struck a Team Xtreme pose and ran back inside.

"I'm going after her," Charlotte said to Dan.

"No Charly stay in your room she's crazy!" Dan said to his wife but she was already out of the room and looking for the red-head.

Judging by the terrified look on the maid's face she had just passed by.

"Which way did she go?" Charlotte asked her.

"Abajo del escape del fuego/ down the fire escape," she answered, "!Era esa mujer del WWF/ it was that woman from the WWF!"

It had obviously been awhile since she watched wrestling but she knew enough to recognize Lita. Charlotte ran down the fire escape and saw the red-head moving fast. She jumped down and got into a black van and burned down the back street away from the media trucks and spectators that were now surrounding Trump Plaza. Charlotte pushed her hand through her hair uncertain of what she had just seen, _could that woman have really been Lita?_ she wondered.

"Absolutely not what are you nuts?" LC answered when Charlotte came back to their room.

"I know it sounds crazy but this woman really looks like her," Charlotte said, "even the maid said so,"

"Oh the maid said so, she must really know what she's talking about with her many years of training on the police force," LC said sarcastically and Charlotte got a little hot.

"Hey I know what I saw, you were in here talking to Cassie you didn't even see her," she argued.

"I didn't have to see her I know my Lita and she works for God not satan, plus I got a new piece of information that you might find useful," LC said and Charlotte rolled her eyes sensing sarcasm on the horizon.

"Oh yeah and what's that?" Charlotte asked folding her arms.

"Don't believe everything you see, especially if your eyes are covered with shit," she said.

"LC!" Charlotte said appalled.

"I also have another piece of pertinent information," LC continued.

"Pertinent? Where'd you learn that word?" her sister asked impressed.

"Well you're always telling me to build my vocabulary, plus Hunter says it's cool to know big words so people think you're smarter then you are, he does it all the time," LC explained.

"I should have known," Charlotte said shaking her head as Dan burst into the room.

"Did you get a good look at her?" he asked Charlotte who nodded, "Good the police wanna talk to you,"

Charlotte looked at her little sister who went over and stood in front of the door.

"No one talks to the cops," she said.

"Why not?" Dan asked confused, "LC a man was murdered right here in Trump Plaza next to our room, this is no time to mess around,"

"Look just because my head comes up to your waist that doesn't give you the right to talk down to me alright pretty boy?" LC said to Dan who grinned in spite of himself, "Now as I was saying before you got all "Let's call the cops!" on me I have information that is indicative of foul play,"

Dan narrowed his eyes and looked to his wife for an explanation.

"Hunter told her to use more big words," she said.

"Ah," Dan said understanding at once.

"Cassie just told me that Trish Stratus set a woman on fire at a department store in Clear Water, FL," LC told them.

"What?" Charlotte said covering her mouth in shock, "That's impossible!" she said.

"Why would Trish Stratus do that?" Dan said unconvinced.

"She didn't that's my whole point, Lita didn't throw that man off the balcony either, it was Abatha and Tabatha," LC explained.

"Who?" Dan asked and Charlotte explained who they were.

"They're witches who look like Trish and Lita and they've taken ATM hostage," LC told him.

"How do you know this?" Dan said.

"Please, what wrestling fan under the age of 10 doesn't know Abatha and Tabatha? They're too of the biggest marks in the IWC," LC said.

"IWC?" Dan asked confused, "What's that?"

"An online community that knows absolutely everything about wrestling or a particular wrestler i.e. the opposite of you," LC said, "Abatha and Tabatha used to hog message boards and throw 'Who's your favorite wrestling Diva?" parties but not everyone got invited because there was a big pre-requisite: you had to worship the devil,"

"Did she just say 'pre-requisite'?" Dan asked his wife who nodded, "LC where are you getting this information from?"

"They tried to recruit me, Cassie and Charlene last year at Karate Kamp, they backed off when Cameron and I beat them with our bibles. That was when Cam had a set - he was so cool back then," LC replied and let out a deep sigh, "but people change,"

"You beat them with your bibles?" Dan said incredulously and Charlotte chuckled remembering the camp leaders calling her and insisting she pick up her little sister because she was attacking "innocent children." _How wrong they were_ she thought.

"You can't play around with witches Danny Boy," LC told her sister's husband, "And as much as I enjoying kicking ass I'd rather do it for God than the devil,"

"We better call Edge and see if he knows anything about this," Charlotte said reaching over to get her cell phone, she saw that she got a missed call from an unrecognized number and checked her voicemail for the message. After awhile she hung up and Dan looked at her questioningly.

"Who was it?" he asked her.

"It was Carlito," she said and nodded at LC, "You were right about those witches, I think we're gonna have to cut this trip short Dan, we have to take LC back to Connecticut so she can help the McMahons find ATM and the other WWE Divas before it's too late," she said and LC scrunched up her nose at the idea of helping the McMahons; there was something that really bugged her about that family and for some reason she felt the need to randomly attack every single one of them. Hunting witches was right up her alley but so was kicking ass and if Stephanie, Vince and Shane did anything to upset Hunter again they were all gonna be on the wrong side of her big black boot.

"What are you staring at?" LC snapped at her sister and her husband who wondered what had come over LC in the past week as she threw her back pack over her shoulder and pocketed her cell phone, "Let's go hunt some witches!" she cried riled up running out of the splendid penthouse suite and into the elevator leaving Charlotte and Dan very concerned about her unexplainable devotion to her favorite WWE Superstar Triple H. It was almost as if they were family.


	19. Lost in the Garden of Adam

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

A/N: This chapter contains scenes of violence.

Nineteen - Lost in the Garden of Adam

McMahon-Helmsley Compound, Northwest Wing:

Stephanie was holding Aurora while waiting for the doctor to come out and tell her what was the matter with her. It didn't look like she'd be talking again anytime soon but the word 'DANGER' was clearly written on the window near her cradle which had turned into an igloo causing Aurora's temperature to drop frighteningly low. The doctor finally came out and told Stephanie what she had anticipated.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Helmsley but your daughter has pneumonia," he told the new mother who nodded.

"How bad is it doctor?" she asked him and he looked at her like he felt responsible for Aurora's severe condition.

"She may not make it through the night," he said regretfully but Stephanie wasn't upset, she wasn't worried or scared in the slightest.

"And what about Mrs. Dumas?" Stephanie asked concerned for Lita's mother.

"She's a little woozy but she'll be fine," the doctor said and Stephanie thanked him, "But I'm afraid your daughter will pass before the night is out. I'm sorry Mrs. Helmsley but these things are a mystery,"

The doctor left Stephanie alone with her daughter and went back to check on Mrs. Dumas, Stephanie kissed her daughter's frozen forehead and switched on the stereo in her bedroom and Mariah Carey's Music Box blasted through the speakers and Stephanie sang along:

_When I am lost _

_You shine a light for me and set me free _

_When I am low _

_You take away my tears and lead me through _

_The loneliness and emptiness _

_Through the darkest night somehow I survive _

_Through it all _

_When you tell me I'm the only one you need _

_Sweet and tenderly _

_And your love _

_Breaks away the cloud surrounding me _

_All I have I want to give to thee _

Aurora's iced orbs cleared and their sparkly green color returned along with her smile and her joy at being alive. She started shaking her hands merrily and Stephanie gave her want she wanted, her sterling silver rattle which she took and threw at her father who was sitting by the window crying his eyes out.

"Ow!" Hunter holding his head, "I love you too," he said picking the rattle up and giving it back to his daughter grateful that she was okay.

"I knew she'd be fine she just protected herself from that demon that possessed Edge and made him choke out Lita's mother," Stephanie said and they both watched as the ice started to melt from around Aurora's crib and evaporated as if by magic. Hunter felt the tears on his face dry and he took his daughter up and squeezed her gently to his chest.

"You're only 6 months old and you're already tougher than your old man," he said and Stephanie took Aurora back and sat of the edge of their bed wanting to have a talk with her husband about why he'd been crying for the past couple of hours.

"It's Shawn isn't it?" she said irritated, "This whole thing is getting out of hand Hunter, your daughter gave herself pneumonia just so the demon that was after Shawn Michaels wouldn't get to her, ever since ATM got going Shawn's been very dangerous to be around," Stephanie explained.

"It's not like he sent the demon to her nursery," Hunter said defending his best friend.

"But it was here for him just like it was in San Antonio, because his connection to Lita known in the Heavenlies as Anointed Amy is common knowledge now. The devil knows he can't get to Amy, Trish or Lita so now he's trying to get to the people they care about the most," Stephanie argued and Hunter let out a sigh of frustration.

"Forget about it, Aurora's healthy enough to go outside, let's go hunt some witches and get ATM back ourselves," Hunter said getting Aurora's blanket and winter coat out of her closet and started getting her ready but Stephanie stopped him.

"I'm not going witch hunting Hunter, I'm staying here with my baby girl and so should you, ATM have TKO, El Con Dios and Shawn plus the entire WWE roster looking for them, what do you need to go for? Stay here with your family," Stephanie insisted and Hunter got mad and started running his fingers through his hair enraged.

"Three of the greatest WWE Superstars ever and the entire WWE Divas roster has been taken hostage by witches, I am a part of that roster too and I'm not gonna sit on my throne bowing and serving that bastard father of yours so you can get back at Shawn for not liking you," Hunter said and Stephanie gasped while Aurora giggled shaking her rattle with much enthusiasm.

"So this is about Shawn!" Stephanie snapped.

"He got to you when he told you he didn't approve of us getting married and now you're using me to get back at him," Hunter said.

"He didn't get to me, he disrespected me there's a difference and I'll be damned if any man disrespects Stephanie Marie McMahon!" Stephanie snapped and Aurora yawned, "Oh I'm sorry am I boring you Aurora, well why don't you take a nap since you're so tired," Stephanie said and laid Aurora down in her crib, but as she laid her down she found herself sticking to her daughter, "Come on sweetie lay down, get off my blouse it's expensive, Aurora let go!"

Stephanie pulled back with great force and her blouse which was stuck to her daughter ripped from her body. Stephanie stood in her bra horrified and Hunter started to laugh, "I guess you two both think this is funny seeing mommy humiliated by her own baby huh?"

"Lighten up Steph you'll live longer," Hunter told her coming over to Aurora and giving her an Evolution thumbs-up, "Can I go without feeling guilty and without you leaving in the night behind my back?"

"But you don't have to go!" Stephanie insisted.

"Yes I do I want to hunt witches!" Hunter argued back.

"Fine go hunt witches I'll stay here with Jericho, he's more than willing to keep me company," Stephanie said with a cocky smile twirling her hair around her fingers provocatively.

"That's not funny Stephanie," Hunter said not amused. Stephanie watched as he took Aurora out of her crib and walked out of the room, "You stay here with Jericho, Aurora and I are gonna kick some unholy ass," he said and slammed the door behind him leaving Stephanie alone in disbelief.

"Why is everybody against me, what did I do? All I want is to have my husband and my daughter all to myself, is that so terrible?" she said to herself and was surprised to get a response to her question from a very familiar person, "Where did you come from?" she said to Chris Jericho who came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, his hair wet from the shower he just took.

"I just thought I'd wash the smell of being in a room with Rocky and Booker for too long left on me, what are you doing in here by yourself waiting for that jackass husband of yours to come back and sweep you off you feet? Give it up Princess, he's not in love with you he's in love with himself I keep telling you to get over him but you won't listen!" Jericho said but Stephanie disagreed.

"He's not in love with himself he's in love with Shawn Michaels and the whole Kliq fantasy life of being boys for life with no respect for authority or my family," Stephanie said kicking the door angrily and caught a glimpse of her second option as Jericho stood naked in front of her, "Jerry your not hearing me," Stephanie said strolling over to the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla and wrapped the towel back around his waist, "I am not leaving my husband, I am going to save my marriage. Daddy may want DX to continue but I don't and what Stephanie Marie wants Stephanie Marie gets," she said kissing Jericho on the forehead, "I'm gonna find those witches and save ATM and then Hunter will realize that we McMahons are alright. Get dressed and come downstairs, don't keep me waiting," she said leaving the room too quickly for Jericho to remind her she was shirtless.

His third eye blazed and he smiled, it wouldn't be right to brag about it but he couldn't wait to tell Rocky that he had Stephanie McMahon in her bra and all to himself for awhile. It was a step in the right direction because when Stephanie discovered what was on that videotape she was gonna fly into his arms.

Portofino Bay Hotel, Orlando, Florida:

Rebecca collapsed on the floor of her expensive hotel room that Shawn was paying for amongst her many bags of shopping. She'd gone on a mega shopping spree in preparation for tonight and was waiting with baited breath because she was having dinner with Big Sexy and they were going to talk about her future with TNA and the Kings of Wrestling. Cameron had called several times but she didn't answer her cell, she didn't want to talk to anyone with her husband's last name especially her son who bore a striking resemblance to HBK. She didn't have so much luck with her mother who had called several times to tell her the house was destroyed.

"I know Ma 20ft of water will do that," she said.

"Well what's Michael got to say about this? Doesn't he care that your home is completely destroyed? What kind of man leaves his family without a home?" Mrs. Circu complained.

"Don't ask me he's not my man anymore, he's with that bitch Lita," Rebecca said going through her purse to find her wallet cradling the phone with her shoulder.

"I knew there was something going on when I saw them together at the pre-Christmas party in Jamaica, how long has it been going on?" Karen asked her bitter child.

"He says nothing's going on but my guess is a long time," Rebecca said counting how much money she had left and it wasn't much, "I'd say since 1999 when he married me, when he said "I do" he wasn't talking to me he was talking to her, I hope she chokes on her wedding cake the fat cow,"

Karen Circu shrugged, "Men are dogs Rebecca but Michael was a good catch are you sure you wanna throw him back into the wild? Why not divorce him on grounds of irreconcilable differences that way you'll get everything?"

"Mom will you call him Shawn I hate that name Michael it's so boring," Rebecca said irritated.

"But its his real name honey and you can tell a lot about a person by knowing their real name," Karen explained, "Did you know that Michael was a warring angel that God used to smite people?"

"That explains why Shawn's always acting like he's God's MVP," Rebecca said thinking about what her mother said, it made her kind of sad, her husband's faith was the part of him she cherished the most, "I'm just some Nitro girl he married, God doesn't want his warring angel to have anything to do with a whore like me," Rebecca said and cried into her manicured hands bitterly, "Mom I'll call you later, I wanna go over my career here in TNA with Kevin and then I'll call you back okay? I love you Mom,"

"I love you too Becky, keep your head up honey its gonna get better I promise," Karen said sweetly and Rebecca hung up shaking her head.

"I wish I could believe that Ma, but truth is its gonna get a lot worse," she said looking at a picture of Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne in her wallet and pressing it to her heart, "How did it come to this?" she said and suddenly someone knocked at her door.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and opened the door.

"Kevin hi," she said warmly as the Big Sexy Kevin Nash shadowed her in the doorway.

"What's that you got there?" he asked noticing the picture of Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne in her hand.

"I'm kissing my past goodbye," she replied and kissed the picture, "Goodbye past," she said and ripped it in half and threw the torn photo over her shoulder, "Hello future," she said to Kevin Nash who picked her up and swung her around enveloping her in his Big Sexy arms as the photo fell to the ground next to her empty wallet and her many, many, many credit cards, "Can you believe my mom still calls Shawn by his real name?" she told Kevin as he coated her neck with hot kisses.

"So what it's his name isn't it?" Kevin replied caressing her bare back admiring the low cut dress she was wearing that was perfect for the hot Florida weather and her exotic body.

"Yeah but Michael is such a boring name, did you know that God used Michael his warring angel to carry out all his smiting back in the Old Testament? Explains a lot doesn't it?" Rebecca said as Kevin unsnapped her dress which fell to the plush carpet by her manicured feet. "Shawn gave me two children quite willingly, I never had to beg him to do anything!" she snapped angrily and Kevin scratched his head.

"Becky this isn't about you it's about him, he's gay that's not a reflection on how hot you are I think I speak for the entire wrestling world when I say you're the hottest wife a wrestler could have, next to Sable and I think you're hotter than her, Stephanie and Chyna put together," Kevin said hoping to soften Rebecca now hard expression but it didn't happen, she was pissed at him.

"Why are you comparing me to Sable and Chyna? Do I look like a Playboy cover girl?" Rebecca asked getting more and more angry by the second.

Kevin nodded, "Yeah you do, in fact I was hoping we could talk about you doing Playboy over dinner tonight, it would be great exposure for TNA," he said and Rebecca laughed hysterically, "What's so funny?" he asked confused and getting a little impatient with her sudden change in attitude.

"I came to TNA to wrestle not strip for unhappily married men," Rebecca replied firmly and Kevin got to his feet and looked down at her from 7ft above her 5' 10 inch frame, she was no Gail Kim but she was no Chyna either and Kevin made her look like an insect.

"That's exactly what you've been doing for the past week woman," he said, "You've been stripping for an unhappily married man,"

Rebecca tensed up, something wasn't right; Kevin was intimidating her when he should have been caressing her, it was almost like he wanted to threaten her, "Something on your mind Big Daddy?" she asked coolly hiding her shaking hands behind her back. Kevin pulled her long hair with a yank that sent Rebecca down to her knees which was Kevin's favorite place for her.

"I got too much stuff on my mind and I need a little oral persuasion, so I suggest you silence that pretty mouth of yours, unzip my fly and do what your husband's most likely doing to Edge right now and SUCK IT!" he demanded and thrust his pelvis into Rebecca's face and holding it there suffocating her, she fought back and broke free and gave him a low blow. Kevin grimaced in pain and Rebecca jumped on his back and started wailing on him, "Okay you wanna get physical, let's get physical," Big Sexy said and with one swift movement he sent Rebecca flying into the full length mirror on the other side of the room.

When Rebecca looked up her hair was laced with blood, "Shit my hair," she said as pieces of glass stuck to the long dyed strands of strawberry blond hair, but none was on her face and she thanked God for that and got to her feet only to wish she hadn't. Nash rammed her back into the broken mirror and tore her expensive black panties off. He wrapped her legs around his waist and thrust forward but Rebecca keep fighting him with her strong thighs squeezing them until she had him in a vice like grip like a cobra snaking her legs around his waist and pulling her hand back and slapping the spit out of his mouth.

"GET OFF ME!" she roared and bit his nose sending him backwards and freeing herself. Kevin held his nose as Rebecca collected her stuff and stormed out of the room. As the door slammed Kevin noticed the wallet on the plush carpet and picked it up.

"Oh Whisper," he called and Rebecca came back into the room knowing what she had forgotten, "Looks like you're outta cash which means you're outta luck," he said and as Rebecca reached for her wallet he slapped her so hard she spun around twice before falling to one knee trying to catch her breath. Kevin pulled her up by her hair and closed in on her, "Now do me bitch and don't make me have to send you back to San Antonio with a busted lip and a black eye, I'm sure Shawn wouldn't give a damn after what you did to him," he spat and Rebecca just glared at him as he undid his fly, "SUCK IT!" he said thrusting towards her face. The blood coming down her nose and the glass tearing through her skin didn't seem to affect him, after all it was the reason she was hired in the first place, Rebecca was just another one of the girls now.

Meanwhile back in Greenwich, CT outside the McMahon-Helmsely Compound in the Vince McMahon Palatial Gardens:

Edge broke away from Shawn and furrowed his brow at the sudden change in Shawn's facial expression, "Something wrong babe?" he said to the Showstoppa then he heard a deep roar rumbling in HBK's throat and pulled back. He looked down at Shawn's arm and saw that the pierced heart was back and nodded, "Shawn where you going?" Edge asked following the Heartbreak Kid.

"To find Hunter, there he is - Hunter!" Shawn cried to the man getting into the tour bus with his daughter, "Wait up!" Shawn took Edge's hand, "Come with me," he said and pulled Edge over to the tour bus. Hunter gaped at what he was seeing; Shawn and Edge holding hands and running towards him, for what reason he had no idea but it couldn't be good.

"Hey Hunter, where's Stephanie?" Edge asked and Hunter punched him in the face, grabbed HBK and started pulling out of the McMahon-Helmsely Compound. Edge held his nose which wasn't bleeding but still hurt, "Come back here with my girlfriend!" he cried but Hunter drove away taking Shawn, Aurora Rose, Shelton, Carlito El Con Dios, TKO, Nitro, Cryme Tyme, Christie Hemme, Gail Kim, LC, Charlotte, Dan, Cassidy, Cameron, Cheyenne, Britney Spears and her son Sean Preston, the Guerreros and the Mysterios with him.

A horn honked behind him, "Need a ride?" said Matt Hardy and Edge scowled but motioned towards the back but Jeff kicked him back and he fell back down, "Well that's too bad!" Jeff said and the Hardyz drove off behind Hunter leaving Edge in the grass.

Edge's cell phone rang, "What!" he snapped down his cell phone just seconds after his ass hit the ground.

"So you're gay for Shawn?" Christian said on the other end of the phone.

"Who've you been talking to, those Paparazzi punks? I'd hoped you'd be associating with more reliable people down there in Florida now Christian, don't believe everything you hear," Edge replied getting up to his feet as everyone else drove away leaving him alone outside in Vince's Palatial Gardens.

"Oh I didn't hear about you being gay for Shawn, I saw that you're gay for Shawn on videotape, courtesy of one Chris Jericho," Christian replied and Edge fell back down again.

"That stupid sonofabitch, look Jay its not what you think, Shawn's a conduit for Amy, you know how they're eternal soul mates? Well they can communicate through their tattoos and I was just using Shawn to let her know how much I miss her that's all," Edge explained.

"Yeah that's a real cute story Edge, are you going to use protection so Lita doesn't get pregnant?" Christian replied and Edge hung up angrily. Christian laughed and called Jericho, "Yeah he's mad I'll talk him into it don't worry, I'll see you when you get here," he said to Jericho and hung up his cell with a sly smile thinking about how famous Shawn Michaels was about to become, only this time it wouldn't be for his matches it would be for his reputation with Canadians.

Everyone was heading South but finding ATM was not the only reason anymore.

"Rebecca's in trouble?" Hunter asked Shawn who was sitting next to him as he drove away from Greenwich towards Florida, "How do you know that?"

"I should never have left her there she's gonna get hurt I can feel it," Shawn said feeling the need to get to Florida urgently, "Why is it always the ones you love that hurt you the most?" he wondered resting his head on Hunter's broad shoulder and the Cerebral Assassin sighed heavily and shook him off.

"You tell me you're the one that's spending time out with Lita's boyfriend," Hunter replied annoyed with Shawn's irresponsible behavior.

"Wait Hunter let me explain," Shawn said pulling up his t shirt sleeve and exposing his green monster tattoo.

"You got a copy of Lita's tattoo how lame is that?" Hunter said unimpressed and a little disappointed that Shawn would do something so sad.

"It's not a copy, I've embodied Lita's spirit, she's using me to communicate with Edge, that's why we've been hanging out!" Shawn said defiantly and Hunter smiled relived.

Hunter nodded, "Okay Shawn just don't get too close to Edge because that would be gay and being gay is a sin and sinners don't get into Heaven. I guess I won't see you up there then we'll just have to make the most of the time we've got down here," Hunter said playing on Shawn's profound Christian beliefs.

Shawn scratched his face nervously and dropped to his knees and started praying fervently, "Please don't kick me out of Heaven Lord, I was only doing Lita a favor please don't send me to Hell, I don't wanna go to Hell, San Antonio's hot enough, if you forgive me Father!"

"Shawn stop praying," Hunter said rolling his eyes but Shawn locked his hands and wouldn't let go.

"I mean it Father, okay deal, bless Your Holy name Father, Amen," Shawn closed his prayer and got back up feeling lighter and more confident that his place on the right hand of the throne with Jesus Christ His Lord and Savior was secured.

Hunter complained and Shawn felt sorry for him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Ah crap!" he cursed when he realized what he did and Hunter laughed along with Aurora and everyone else on the massive tour bus burning down the highway to Florida at 60 miles per hour.

"Hey look it says 'DANGER' on the windshield," Shawn said and Hunter looked over at his daughter and kissed her on the forehead.

"You'll be safe with us baby girl, Shawn's got Lita inside of him and me, well I've got you," he said.

"What about Stephanie?" Shawn asked him and Hunter scowled.

"Miss. McMahon thinks you're a dick for saying I should have married Chyna instead of her and she wants Vince to end DX to get back at you," Hunter replied.

"You should have married Chyna," Shawn said and the windshield frosted over and the 'D' in the word 'DANGER' disappeared, now it said 'ANGER'. Shawn and Hunter looked down at Aurora and figured she was trying to tell them something, most likely that they should stop talking about the woman Stephanie McMahon hates more than anybody else on God's green earth.

"She's so protective of her mother," Hunter said.

"She doesn't want anything to split you up again that's all," Shawn said trying to keep down his need to call Edge, "Lita quit it!" he said and Hunter frowned at him wondering why he was covering his arm, "I'm hoping she can go a few hours without talking to Edge," he said, "I don't wanna burn in Hell for all eternity!"

"Shawn you're not gonna burn in Hell for pretending to like a guy, look," Hunter said and the windshield froze over even more and was almost gonna break as Hunter pulled Shawn in for a kiss.

"Maybe kissing me in front of your daughter is just as bad an idea as talking about Chyna," Shawn said looking up from Triple H's grip. The windshield suddenly smashed and Hunter grinded to a hault as the glass exploded and he covered Shawn and Aurora so none of it got on them.

"Whoa!" Shawn said, "What was that about?"

Hunter felt cold all of a sudden and looked over at his daughter whom Shawn had in his arms. He knew exactly what it was all about.


	20. The Chyna Syndrome

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: M

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

WARNING: This chapter contains adult themes.

Twenty - The Chyna Syndrome

Mood Indigo, Portofino Bay near Universal Studios:

XPac wasn't much for conversation this afternoon; he got drunk early and decided to disappear into his own world instead. The woman in his arms was drunk too, only she was depressed because he kept on telling her to sit down. XPac was genuinely happy to have Rebecca, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall around, it was like they were a family again only there were three very beloved members missing and he wasn't talking about Kip and BG James. He was talking about Shawn, Hunter and Chyna.

Mood Indigo was a very popular hang out among the TNA wrestlers who liked to go there and unwind after an Impact taping or PPV. What they didn't expect was to see Rebecca there dancing around like she was back in WCW. She had a TNA shirt on and it was tied up to show off her belly. She wore black leggings and stilettos and she was without a doubt a Total Knockout.

Sting never made a habit of going there but today was different, today he was gonna do the Christian thing and get Rebecca back together with her husband but it was easier said than done. She was clinging to XPac like he was her only friend and that wasn't far from the truth; ever since the sex tape of her and Kevin Nash got out along with the rumors about her sleeping with all three members of the Kings of Wrestling no-one wanted anything to do with her. She didn't even care that she had been sexually assaulted by a man she'd known a lot longer than her husband, as far as the TNA locker room was concerned, she deserved everything she got and Shawn Michaels was better off without her. Sting didn't see it that way and joined Sean and Rebecca who were sharing a bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Hello Rebecca," Sting said pulling a bar stool up to them, "Looking good,"

"You don't look too bad yourself," she said barely able to hold her glass to her lips without spilling it all over the counter top.

"Will you take this away from her she can't even sit up properly and you're encouraging her to drink?" Sting snapped at XPac who shrugged.

"Alcohol has always been a good friend of mine," he said casually, "What harm could it do for Rebecca to get to know my friend Jack a little better?"

"I think she's known enough men for one lifetime," Sting said and pushed the whiskey bottle away and smiled at Rebecca, "I think it's time to call Shawn," he said looking straight into her eyes but there was nothing looking back at him resembling the woman HBK married.

"What are the odds of you getting the Hell away from me Steve? You never spoke to me back in WCW why are you talking to me now?" she said and Sting shook his head that she was wrong.

"Because there's plenty of room for you here in TNA, its this affair that's killing off your chances for success, you can't honestly think that Nash, Hall and Jarrett actually care about your career when all they want do is humiliate Shawn Michaels and get one over on the WWE? Come on Rebecca wake up!" Sting implored the drunken mother of two and she slammed her whiskey glass down on the bar top and gave Sting a dark look.

"Don't tell me what to do," she spat through gritted teeth, "I've had enough of so-called Christian men like you and Shawn thinking I'm better than this, I am a whore and I am constantly in need of sexual adventure, only now I've got the videotape to prove it!"

"Tell me everything; I wanna hear everything from the beginning to now, what's driving you to do this? Why the sudden diversion from a happy home and married life with Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne back in San Antonio?" Sting asked her patiently and Rebecca rolled her eyes.

" San Antonio sucks," she said slurring her words, "This is my home, I was born in Tampa, I only moved to San An to be with Shawn. I guess you could say I'm the Prodigal Son reborn as a Total Knockout, God had a thing for whores you know,"

"So does Kevin Nash apparently," Sting said sarcastically and Rebecca flipped him off.

"Sting she's not Abyss, stop talking to her like she's a victim just leave us alone," he said and Sting shushed him.

"Are you telling me that you approve of what she's doing lil man?" Sting asked the Kliq's youngest member who nodded.

"She's doing things her way and isn't that what Jesus told us to? He said come as you are - this is how she is, quit trying to make her into what you think she should be and just accept her for what she is," XPac replied and the Stinger thought about it before saying anything.

"Is that how you really feel Rebecca? Like you've been living off people's expectations of you as the wife of the Showstoppa, is that why you're rebelling against your husband like this?" Sting asked genuinely concerned about Shawn's wife. She just laughed at him.

"Tell me something Steve, are you happily married?" Rebecca asked him and he frowned at her, "Answer the question are you happily married?" she said almost falling of her bar stool.

"Yes," Sting said not sure where she was going with this as she rose to her feet and drew nearer to him with a seductive smile.

"Then answer me this," she whispered in his ear, "Is there a scorpion in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

Sting laughed, "You're very charming," he said as she wrapped her arms and legs around him winding her body around like a cobra, "I guess that's how you snaked your way into Shawn's life, he thought he was marrying a holy woman but he was marrying a horrible woman with no intention of making him happy because he spent the last seven years of his life trying to get back in the wrestling game," he spat and noticed the feint scratches on her forehead and pulled her up straight and leaned in for a closer look, "And so now I bet you're gonna tell me that you just fell and Kevin Nash would never put his hands on you am I right?"

Rebecca covered her face up with her hand and went and sat back next to Sean, "Whatever Steve, you'll never understand what it means to be a Kliq chick," she said defiantly, "all your life you're just cheerleading for your Superstar husband while he gets all the praise and I get nothing for being there day in and day out, while he's either puking his guts out over my bed or crying his eyes out over the breakfast table because he can't wrestle anymore. All my years of sacrifice and all I have to do is look hot and smile and say "Praise the Lord!" So now, I will be the hottest thing the wrestling world has ever seen, and I won't have to say "Praise the Lord!" either, all I'll have to do is whisper and the men will go wild for me, just like the girls go wild for Shawn," she declared and jumped up onto the stage and told the DJ to play Party All The Time by Sharam. As soon as the beat dropped Rebecca started to click her fingers and she moved to the thumping dance beat with perfect timing and style, just like her husband. Sting's face dropped as she touched the floor whipping her head back and slowly came back up moving her body around like a corkscrew.

"Oh I love this song!" XPac said jumping up and going over to dance with her while Stinger ran back to the Universal Studios to confront the Kings of Wrestling and put a stop to all this madness before Rebecca went too far, he didn't know that Far was a place the Michaels' visited often and all Rebecca wanted to know was how far was too far as she started to take off her clothes much to the amusement of the many men that were suddenly in the dancing mood.

"Whoa Rebecca what are you doing?" XPac said as she removed her top and she sashayed around the bar receiving numerous cat-calls from the patrons, some who recognized her and were calling their friends to come and check out Shawn's wife.

"I didn't know Shawn Michaels was married to an exotic dancer," one of the men said to his buddy and XPac swallowed nervously as she removed her bra.

"WHOOOOO!" the men called out as XPac tried to get her off the stage.

Charlene came out of the bathroom to join her father who was calling the police, "Hey Daddy who you calling?" she said and noticed a lot of men surrounding the stage all of a sudden and wondered what had gotten their attention, "Oh my God!" she cried as her father scurried out of the bar with his daughter under his arms.

"Hello Orlando PD, I wish to report indecent exposure in a bar near Portofino Bay Hotel, a woman is stripping - what do you mean what's the problem my daughter's with me that's the problem!" Charlene's father complained.

"Daddy hang up, that's Shawn Michaels' wife!" Charlene insisted tugging on her father's pant leg.

"One second officer," he said and looked down at his daughter, "Shawn Michaels, is that wrestler you and the girls are always talking about right?" he asked her and Charlene nodded.

"And if the cops find out his wife's stripping in public, he'd be thrown out of Cornerstone church, please Daddy hang up and let's try and find Shawn, LC said he's on his way here right now," Charlene said and her father hung up and called Dan while Charlene breathed a sigh of relief which soon turned to fright as more and more men crowded into Mood Indigo.

"Shawn hurry up Rebecca's lost her mind," she said.

"Dan said they're 30 minutes away we'll meet them outside the hotel," her father said to her pocketing his cell phone.

"That's too late we gotta get her out of there before she gets hurt," Charlene said resisting her father as he carried her back to Portofino Bay Hotel.

"Calm down Charlene there's nothing you can do to help that woman she's crazy," he said but Charlene protested and tried to slink out of her father's grip but he was holding her too tight. Then she did the only thing she could think of to get loose.

"Help I'm being kidnapped!" she screamed and several strangers turned and approached them, in shock her father released her and she ran back inside Mood Indigo with her father's lighter in her hand. Once inside Charlene climbed up onto the bar top and tried to set off the sprinkler system, unfortunately the lighter wouldn't light.

"Come on you stupid lighter work!" she yelled at it.

"Hey you can't play with that," the barman said and took the lighter away from Charlene.

"Well tell that woman to put her clothes back on," Charlene demanded pointing over at Rebecca who was down to her panties now.

The barman smirked, "You want me to tell HBK's wife to put her clothes back on? Yeah you've got a prayer now scram this ain't no place for virgins sweetheart," he said and called security to escort John Cena's biggest fan out of the building.

"Prayer," Charlene mused as the security guards came over to her, "That's it!" she cried and got down on her knees and started to pray to Jesus Christ, "Jesus save Rebecca like you've saved my mother who used to strip only for her it was too late. She never thought Daddy would ever look at her the same way when he found out but she never gave him a chance. Please give Rebecca a chance to redeem herself Lord, I don't want Cam and Chey to go through what my family went through. Have mercy on her Jesus, have mercy on her! Amen,"

As she opened her eyes Charlene saw Tamara Nash reach up to the sprinkler system and set it off with her Harley Davidson lighter. All the horny patrons vacated the premises and Tamara helped a few of them out with her foot.

"That's it get outta here you filthy little bastards!" she yelled and turned to Charlene, "Come on this ain't no place for the innocent," she said picking Charlene off the bar top and hoisted her over her shoulders.

"Thank you Jesus," Charlene said as XPac covered Rebecca with his jacket and escorted her out the back with Tamara and Charlene behind them.

Back at Universal Studios:

Tamara kicked open the door of the female locker room and XPac sat Rebecca down on a bench while Charlene looked for a towel to dry her with.

"What were you doing stripping for those perverts, you're Christian woman you idiot, you have a reputation to think about!" Tamara berated one of her oldest friends, "I'd open my mouth if I was you, come on I wanna know why you felt it necessary to degrade yourself in front of all those horny wrestling fans,"

Charlene grimaced at the pieces of glass she found in Rebecca's hair as she dried it, "Did you fall through a plate glass window or something? Your hair is full of glass," she asked Rebecca and Tamara's eyes went wide with horror.

"Did that no good sonofabitch put his hands on you?" she asked in disbelief.

"He only did what everybody wants to do to me for cheating on my husband, at least he was honest about it," Rebecca sniffed trembling because of the water dripping off her body.

"So now you're defending him?" Tamara said in disbelief.

"We're cut from the same cloth, the only problem is people keep sticking their noses in our business," Rebecca said and Tamara was furious, "He's my eternal soul mate, we belong together, I can handle him,"

"He's my husband of twenty years and he has never ever put his hands on me, but I stood up to him on many occasions until finally I couldn't stand no more and I kicked his ass to the curb!" Tamara said.

"So you can walk out on your husband but I can't walk out on mine?" Rebecca argued.

"Shawn loves you with all his heart, he didn't cheat on you Rebecca, he can't stop God's plan for him in Heaven and why should he? You and Kevin will be eternally bound in Heaven after you die now you're down here in Hell because you messed up God's plan for your life!" Tamara said and came over to Rebecca and put her hand on her knee, "The Bible said we should honor our husbands and here you are soaking wet in your birthday suit and glass in your hair and scratches all over your face because you dishonored your husband. Shawn would never do anything like this to you,"

Rebecca grinned and Charlene wondered what was so funny as she removed the glass out of Rebecca's long blond hair one bit at a time, "What's so funny?" she asked her, "Do you like being treated this way?"

Rebecca went quiet and Tamara looked at her suspiciously.

"You do like being treated this way don't you?" she realized and Rebecca smiled her eyes sparkling with mischief, "I think I get it now; you've been a desperate housewife for so long you're acting out by becoming a first class whore, it actually makes sense!"

"Yep I've got this whole thing planned out, I always wanted to be called bad names and degraded just like the Divas on RAW especially Lita, and when its all over I'll go back to my loving husband who will never ever divorce me, no matter how many men I've screwed," Rebecca said.

"Hey!" Tamara said pointing at Charlene who burst into tears and told Rebecca to watch her language, "See you're a bad influence Rebecca you've even made John Cena's Biggest Fan cry," she admonished Rebecca hugging Charlene close to her and rocking back and forth, "Don't listen to that nonsense, Rebecca's in denial but Aunt Tammy's gonna set her straight, yes she is!"

"That's not why I'm crying," Charlene said her chin trembling and she pulled away from Tamara and turned to Rebecca, "When I was five, my mom told my dad that she used to strip to pay her way through college. When some guys from her alma mater recognized her at a family gathering one day she was so humiliated she started taking drugs and my dad didn't know what to do, she never forgave her self for stripping. One night, after my dad, my brothers and I came back from a Smackdown show, we found her hanging from the shower curtain: she killed herself and I see her in you," Charlene said to Rebecca who balked in shock sobering up instantly, "You know I always wondered why mom killed herself and then I figured it out, it wasn't that she was unhappy with what she did, it was because she thought we were unhappy with what she did, she didn't believe that we loved her regardless. I think Shawn loves you regardless but you won't believe that he could ever forgive you after he finds out what you just did, especially here right on TNA's turf, Jeff Jarrett's gonna milk this for all its worth!"

"But she don't care Charlene, it won't be Rebecca that kills herself it will be Shawn that kills himself and that would be just fine wouldn't it Becky? For a good man to be crushed, heart-broken and humiliated just so you can be reckless with your life?" Tamara asked Rebecca who looked over at XPac who already knew what the answer was.

"Yes," she said, "Now if you don't have any other Bible verses and Daytime Movie of the Week tales to tell me I want to get ready for my dinner with Kevin later on tonight," she said and got up and headed for the shower. Someone knocked at the door.

"Come back when you've found Shawn Michaels and tell him his wife is waiting for him to take her back to San Antonio!" Tamara said about to sit Rebecca back down pulling her hair to talk some more sense into her when someone entered the locker room that Rebecca hadn't seen for a long time.

"Shawn!" Rebecca cried and flew over to her husband and started crying. Tamara and Charlene looked at each other puzzled.

"Wha?" they said bemused.

"Rebecca are you okay, I was so worried!" Shawn said squeezing his wife lovingly and smiled over at XPac who smiled back grateful that he was finally here to talk some sense into his rebellious wife. Rebecca grinned at his gullibility and started crying even harder.

"Oh Shawn it was terrible, Kevin pulled me by my hair and said I was just some broad he hired to SUCK IT, and then he made me SUCK IT!" she cried hysterically and Shawn looked at her enraged.

"You're gonna talk like that with a little girl in the room?" he asked her and Rebecca thought of the best response to give.

"What does it matter he disrespected me, and I don't think the mother of your children should be disrespected by anyone, especially by the man that stole me from you without hesitation," Rebecca said and Tamara shook her head.

"Shawn let's go, this woman's on a total trip we can find Lita, Trish and Melina without the Queen of the Mountain," Tamara said ushering Shawn towards the door.

"But I'm right here and Mel and Trish are fine," Shawn replied and Tamara, XPac and Charlene looked at each other confused.

"You found them, that's great!" Charlene said clapping happily.

"Hey Charlene I haven't seen you since the pre-Christmas party when Shawn and I dressed up so Vince didn't recognize us," Shawn said smiling at the little girl from Washington, D.C.

"Shawn what are you talking about?" XPac asked confused, "It sounds like you're talking for Lita,"

"I am - she's still missing, I came here to check on Becky and then Hunter and the rest of the RAW Superstars are going to head to Washington to find them, according to LC and Cassidy it's where Abatha has her base of operations," Shawn explained and everyone jumped as he slapped his arm, "Stop it, I'm not looking for Edge so you can just pipe down missy!"

Hunter came in and told everyone not to worry, Shawn was just trying a new gimmick, "He's Psycho Shawn, he's totally out of his mind," he explained and HBK stuck his tongue out at him and Rebecca whispered to Tamara and told her to watch this.

"Shawn I'm so sorry for what I did, will you ever forgive me?" she said sweetly and Shawn smiled the biggest smile ever and swept Rebecca up off her feet. Rebecca looked over at Tamara and said "I told you so, he'll never divorce me, I've got him in the palm of my hands,"

Suddenly Shawn dropped her to the ground and scowled at her in contempt.

"Shawn you klutz why did you do that?" she asked and HBK looked confused himself.

"I don't know," he said and went to pick her up, "Here let me help you up I'm sorry,"

Tamara rolled her eyes but she was soon vilified as Shawn pushed Rebecca off him as she pulled him in for a long kiss.

"I don't kiss girls!" Shawn retorted and Hunter muffled his laugh in his chest at Rebecca's stunned face, not to mention the look of complete confusion on Tammy and Sean's faces.

"What do you mean you don't kiss girls?" Rebecca asked confused.

"Hey you," Hunter said to XPac.

"Hey yourself," he said back laughing as Shawn checked out his ass in the mirror.

"Does my ass look fat in these jeans?" he said effeminately and everyone burst out laughing as Shawn started exploring his body in the mirror looking for signs of weight gain confusing the Hell out of his wife.

"Since when the Hell do you care about weight gain, you eat like a pig?" she asked puzzled.

"Well I have to look good for my man - stop it Lita!" Shawn said admonished the Anointed one as her spirit took over his body again.

Hunter decided to rescue Shawn from further embarrassment and ushered Tammy, XPac and Charlene out of the women's locker room while Rebecca and Shawn got re-acquainted.

Rebecca pressed her body up against Shawn's chest and he laughed, "What's so funny?" she asked curious as to what had come over her estranged husband.

"Nothing it's just that I always knew you had a thing for me now I know you do," Shawn said and Rebecca kissed him hungrily reminding herself what she'd passed up a week or so ago for something Bigger and Sexier.

"Hmmm you taste like cherries Shawn," Rebecca whispered carnally, "I wander what other dessert treats you've got for me," she said suggestively biting through her husband's tight black jeans. She began to undue them and found herself struggling to get them down, "Gees Shawn these are kinda tight, how did you ever get them on?"

"Edge helped me," Shawn replied and Rebecca paused.

"Edge helped you put your pants on?" she asked suspiciously, "Why, were you drunk or something?"

"No we just tried on each other's clothes and he picked these out of Christian's vintage wardrobe cause Captain Charisma's been eating a little too much Captain Crunch and can't wear them anymore," Shawn replied and Rebecca nodded even though she never knew Shawn liked to hang out with Edge and Christian that much. She finally got the jeans down with one swift yank and was happy to see that her husband wasn't wearing ladies' underwear.

Ten minutes later . . .

Rebecca was pacing up and down the women's locker room while Shawn combed out his hair that had grown at least six inches longer and was think with a copper tone to it, it was kinda going red, he looked more beautiful than ever but something wasn't right, he looked a lot more feminine that she remembered and they hadn't even been apart that long. What was really bugging her though was that she couldn't get his motor running, something was off with his body; it wasn't saluting her the way she was accustomed to and she couldn't figure out why. _Did I get ugly overnight? _she thought and then dismissed the notion, _no that's ridiculous it must be something else._ She got fed up and finally decided to forego the oral persuasion and go straight for a touchdown, leaning over the bench she flicked her hair back and winked at her husband while slowly raising the hem of her towel.

Shawn dropped his hairbrush and felt his body harden, "Yes Lita I am bigger than Edge," he said proudly and pulled his wife over to him.

An hour later . . .

Shawn was drying himself off after his shower while Rebecca got dressed, "That was amazing," he said coming over to her and kissing up and down her bare neck. She pulled away from him and continued to pull her leggings up, tying her TNA t shirt high up exposing her bare stomach for the world to see but not for Shawn to touch anymore.

"Okay I'm all set," she said collecting her bag and putting away her toiletries and make up while Shawn looked on confused.

"What's going on I thought we were back together again?" he said as Rebecca headed towards the door without giving him a second glance, "You're leaving?" he said incredulously and Shawn sunk his face into his hands and started to cry, but it wasn't his usual cry it was mixed with someone else's voice and it caught Rebecca's attention immediately. She turned around and came back towards him staring at him curiously.

"Lita?" she said and Shawn took his hands down and looked up at her, his blue-grey eyes now hazel orbs and his pierced heart tattoo now an angry green monster.

"You don't deserve Shawn's love," Lita said through Shawn and Rebecca backed up as she spoke shocked by what she was hearing and seeing, "All you care about is being famous, well take it from me Rebecca, all the fame and all the fortune in the world doesn't amount to a hill of beans when you don't have anyone who loves you to share it with, but I guess you're gonna have to learn that lesson the hard way instead of the God way,"

"I have somebody to share it with and he loves me right here and right now, I can't wait to be loved once I get to Heaven Lita, as far as I'm concerned my marriage is over, tell Shawn I said it was great sex but I prefer the rides at Universal Studios, they last a lot longer," Rebecca said with a cruel smile and Shawn leapt up as she closed the door in his face. He cried and suddenly the shadow of a very unique and unforgettable individual came over him and he smiled at the face of the one woman he knew would never break his heart.

"Joanie," he said pleasantly surprised, Chyna's face softening instantly on seeing the familiar face looking back at her.

"Don't act like you don't know me, come over here and give me a hug bitch," Chyna said to HBK who remained standing where he was.

"Not until you talk some sense into that freak o' mine out there," he said pointing outside towards Rebecca who would have marked out at seeing Joanie again after all these years.

"Maybe later, right now we've got to go find an old friend of mine," Chyna said and Shawn gasped.

"You mean . . ." he said trailing off.

"Yes that's exactly what I mean," Chyna answered and HBK nodded waiting for this moment for so long and now it had finally arrived, "It's time I paid Lita back for all those months she spent hanging out with me and making me feel like one of the girls instead of one of the guys,"

Shawn hugged Chyna wishing Hunter was here to see her too, sure he would have bitched and moaned that hanging out with Chyna was gonna get him divorced but he would have loved to see Joanie again if only for awhile.

"Honey I think you should stop letting Rebecca walk all over you so you can both move on with your lives," Chyna said and Shawn shook his head.

"What kind of advice is that?" he said frantically, "You know how much I love her,"

"It's the same advice I should have given you seven years ago, but if you really love her that much come on, let's go talk to the Queen of the Mountain and show her what a true Degenerate really is," Chyna said and Shawn threw his arms around his good old friend.

"Thank you Joanie, you're the only one who understands how much I love my wife, tell Big Kev to back off and find his own man okay?" Shawn said and Chyna frowned noticing the green monster tattoo on Shawn's left arm.

"Something you wanna tell me Shawnie?" she asked pointing to his brand new tat.

"Okay but I need you to tell me something first," Shawn said.

"What?" Chyna asked and Shawn got all excited.

"Can you make it to my wedding?" he asked enthusiastically and Chyna looked at him like he was crazy.

"Shawnie, who are you getting married to?" Chyna asked him confused and just then Edge's hands snaked around HBK's waist.

"Edge and I are getting married!" Shawn said and Chyna slapped him around the face.

"You like girls and don't you forget it!" she snapped.

"Hey that's my girlfriend!" Edge said angrily and Chyna figured it was nothing but more DX antics until Edge speared into her - unfortunately for him she stayed perfectly vertical.

"You still got it Joanie," Edge said holding his sore head that more or less bounced off Chyna's rock hard abs.

"You guys make XPac look like a normal person, come on Edge let's go find the person you're really getting married to," Chyna said pulling her arm over Shawn's shoulders and XPac watched them thoughtfully from behind thinking maybe there was hope for the Kliq after all. Having Chyna around was gonna make a huge difference where Nash, Hall, Shawn and Hunter were concerned, but no-one knew the effect Chyna was gonna have on the life of a little girl from Bakersfield, CA called Lisa Cornelius aka LC, Hunter's lil apprentice and Stephanie's Public Enemy #1.


	21. Holy Smoke

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty One - Holy Smoke

McMahon-Helmsley Compound:

North wing:

Linda was serving soup to Lita's mother who was still recovering from the Spear Edge had given her while he was possessed by the devil. She was still in a lot of pain, her ribs were bruised and she couldn't get up without pain shooting through her body. Linda wished Melina was here to work some of her miraculous healing power on her but ATM were a long way from Greenwich, CT and the prospect of the WWE Superstars and their friends finding them before sundown was getting more and more unlikely.

"I'm so sorry you had to go through this, Edge is a good man he'd never hurt you on purpose," Linda insisted sitting on Mrs. Dumas' bedside.

"I don't like him and I never will," Lita's mother responded honestly and Linda sighed.

"That sounds familiar," she said thinking of her husband's hatred for Triple H, a man she loved like her own son.

Mrs. Dumas tried to sit up and Linda guided her so she didn't pull a muscle, Mrs. Dumas smiled at her gratefully.

"Blood is thicker than water," she said warming her hands with the cup of lemon and ginger tea Mrs. McMahon had made for her, "I've never liked Adam, not after what he put my baby through over the past two years,"

"Was it really Edge's fault Lita didn't love Matt Hardy anymore though?" Linda reasoned seeing things from Edge's point of view.

"Are you kidding? He's been married before you know - twice, Lita's just another ring around his finger like Lisa or the one before that I don't even remember what her name is," Mrs. Dumas said indignantly, "But I'm sure she's happily divorced as opposed to unhappily married to that womanizer you call the Rated R Superstar,"

"Okay granted Edge is a bit of a ladies man, but he's still a good person, he's stuck by Lita through all her problems with the Hardyz and their loyal fans, it takes a man to do that and I think you should give Edge the benefit of the doubt, he is in love with your daughter Matt Hardy is not the man she's supposed to be with," Linda argued and Mrs. Dumas nodded.

"Yeah I know that," Mrs. Dumas said, "Shawn Michaels is the man she's supposed to be with,"

Linda fell off the bed with a loud thump, "There goes my sciatica, Shane, Stephanie get in here!" she called to her children who were arguing wit their father about finding ATM before sunset. Shane came in first and Stephanie promptly followed.

"Mom what happened are you okay?" Shane asked his mother concerned helping her up off the floor.

"Yeah I'm fine I just didn't wanna have to go to the hospital while our girls are missing, someone has to run things around here," she said and Vince McMahon took exception to that comment.

"I take exception to that comment," he said.

"Quit hogging the doorway go find our Divas before something terrible happens to them," Linda admonished her husband.

"Why are you still here?" Mrs. Dumas asked and Vince gawked at her like she'd just asked him to donate money to charity.

"Who the Hell are you?" he said insultingly.

"I'm Amy's mom," Mrs. Dumas answered, "You know the woman you successfully ridiculed in front of millions of people all over the world for the last two years,"

"So that's where she gets it," Vince said seeing the resemblance between the two women, "If you wouldn't mind I have problems of my own right now I don't need lip from you or your husband,"

"Her husband?" Linda said confused.

"Yeah apparently Edge promised him $1 million dollars if he gave Lita away at her wedding, and they call me a bad father? I would never pay anyone that kind of money, especially if they go by the name Hunter," Vince said.

"You still haven't explained why you're not out with the rest of the WWE Superstars looking for my daughter," Mrs. Dumas said and Vince scowled at her.

"Do you have any idea how much that bed linen you're sitting on costs huh? More than your entire house that 's how much and if you continue to mouth off to me I'm gonna throw you and your husband out of here!" Vince threatened Amy's mother.

"Oh shut up!" Linda snapped and Stephanie, Shane and Mrs. Dumas stared at the refined Southern Belle in shock at the words that just came out of her mouth, "I'm sick of you treating good people like dirt, especially Hunter who has done nothing but love and support this family for the past 10 years. This woman has been the victim of a demonic attack by one of our Superstars and the only people that can protect her are missing and you're the only person not looking for them, Vincent Kennedy McMahon you're pathetic!" Linda roared and Mrs. Dumas applauded her moxie and cheered her on.

"Woo you go girl," she said pumping her fist in the air and Vince switched on her.

"SHUT UP!" he roared scaring Mrs. Dumas to death and Linda went postal.

"Oh my God!" Stephanie said as Linda tackled Vince to the ground and started wailing on him.

"Mom that's enough!" Shane said pulling his mother back but she was relentless and Vince scrambled to his feet in shock.

"Linda where did you get all this energy from? I could have used you on RAW last year when the rest of us where trying to take down DX!" he said amazed then Linda did a take down on him and Stephanie and Shane both pulled her back up and backed her up against the wall.

"Don't hold me man don't hold me!" Linda said and Shane and Stephanie looked at each other befuddled by their mother's attitude.

"Mom have you been smoking weed?" Stephanie asked Linda, "Cause you're high on something!"

"Let me go!" Linda yelled and pushed both of them back but not too hard just hard enough for her to jump on her husband's back and tell him to apologize to Lita's mother.

"Apologize are you nuts?" Vince said trying to get Linda off his back but she was holding on like a boa constrictor.

"I said apologize or I'm gonna choke you out - sorry Mrs. Dumas I didn't mean to make light of being choked out," Linda said not wanting to diminish the hurt inflicted on Amy's mother by the demon inside Edge.

"No problem I'll let you know when his face turns blue," Mrs. Dumas said and Vince started to panic as Linda applied the time tested maneuver to him with perfect execution.

"Alright I'm sorry get off me dammit!" Vince said and Linda jumped down, straightened her sweater and sat back down to Amy's mom.

"Would you like some more tea Mrs. Dumas?" she said in her genteel Southern accent and Vince baulked at her instant attitude adjustment much to Amy's mom's amusement.

"Well done Mrs. McMahon, you really put your husband in his place," she said as Vince felt his neck to see if it was still there and it was but his balls were missing.

"Just in case you didn't know, Vince may run the business but I run the family, oh wait I mean the McMahon-Helmsley family," Linda corrected herself pointing at Stephanie who gave her mother a hi-five much to Vince's well hidden chagrin.

"You think Triple H is a real saint don't you?" he said to his wife and daughter pulling the videotape from his jacket pocket, "If only you knew," he said and Stephanie frowned at her mother who was as confused as she was.

"What's your father talking about Shane?" Linda said rolling down her sleeves and taking something out of her dress pocket.

"Don't piss him off okay?" Trust me guys, you don't wanna know what's on that tape, especially you Steph," Shane said and he came up to his sister and took her hands in his own squeezing them faithfully, "Just remember blood is thicker than water and the McMahon blood runs deep down in your veins, we love you and Aurora so much and we will destroy anything that tries to steal your joy understand?" he told her sincerely and hugged her.

"Shane what are you talking about what's on that tape?" Stephanie asked getting worried when they pulled apart.

"Come on let's go find those witches before it gets dark," Shane said ignoring her comment and escorting his father to the door leaving Stephanie, Linda and Mrs. Dumas with more questions than answers.

"I got a feeling your father is gonna destroy Triple H with whatever's on that tape," Mrs. Dumas said.

"I'll make sure that won't happen don't you worry," Linda said rolling herself a joint.

"Mom you are smoking weed I knew it!" Stephanie said as Linda took another drag.

"I found it in Hunter's bedroom, this is some good shit," she said and Stephanie stared at her in disbelief.

"Roll me one of those Linda," Mrs. Dumas said, "I need something to calm my nerves,"

"For sho," Linda said and started rolling a joint for Amy's mom, "Steph you cool?" Linda asked her daughter who was too stunned to talk and Linda looked over at her, "I said are you cool?" she asked again and Stephanie smiled realizing this was her chance to prove that she was cool enough to hang with too.

"Yeah mom, I'm cool," she said sitting down next to her mother, "Pass that blunt," she said taking the joint from her mother's fingers and inhaling deeply.

"Easy Steph!" Linda warned her inexperienced daughter as she went into a coughing fit.

"She's a virgin . . . at smoking weed," Amy's mom realized, "Why don't we take the billion dollar princess to school?" she asked Linda who nodded.

"School huh?" I think my baby can graduate with honors, come on Steph follow my lead," Linda said to her daughter and showed her a side of her Stephanie thought never existed and she had Shawn Michaels to thank for it as the weed they were smoking was the weed HBK had confiscated from XPac back at The Rock's house.

"Well Shawn, that's another crime I can hold against you," she said taking another drag and this time she didn't choke.

"She's bad," Amy mom said approving of Stephanie's quick learning skills.

"You have no idea," Stephanie said and the three women laughed hysterically, "I'll see you guys later," she said strutting out of the North wing and out to her father's brand new Hummer limousine ready to escort them to the airport. He wasn't too impressed when she told him that Linda was getting high in their bedroom, but when she told him it was off the weed Shawn Michaels had supplied, putting Shawn Michaels in the main event at WrestleMania 23 didn't seem like such a good idea anymore.

Back at the Portofino Bay Hotel . . .

In room 205, Cameron put Cheyenne on Shawn's stomach and his eyes shot open at the pressure and he made a grunting sound.

"Sssh don't speak, at least not yet," he said to Lita and Shawn grunted something, "No I haven't seen Rebecca why?" Shawn said to Lita and Cameron furrowed his brow wondering why his father was talking to himself.

Meanwhile downstairs . . .

"He did what?" Rebecca gasped at Chris Jericho in Mood Indigo, the hotel's popular bar made famous by her random striptease awhile ago.

"I'm telling you I've got the whole thing on videotape!" Jericho told her and Rebecca stormed out of the bar amongst loads of men asking for her autograph, "Wait where are you going?" Jericho said chasing after her.

"I'm going to have a conversation with my husband, he can't be gay he just can't be!" Rebecca answered pressing the elevator button.

Jericho followed her up to room 205 where Shawn was waiting for her to let herself in.

"Rebecca wait a second!" Jericho insisted but Rebecca marched in and covered her mouth in shock at what she saw.

"Oh my God!" she cried as Edge sat at the top of the huge bed combing Shawn Michaels hair while Cameron and Cheyenne played around on the bed next to him.

"Don't people knock anymore?" Edge said brushing through Shawn's now thick red hair.

"Sorry, am I interrupting you?" Rebecca said indignantly and Jericho stepped back a bit but Shawn motioned for him to come closer, when he did he took his hand and grumbled something.

"What did he say?" Jericho asked Edge who was scissoring Shawn's waist with his long Canadian legs.

"He said, hmmm that feels good!" Edge replied and Rebecca did a double take as her husband purred enraptured by having his hair combed.

"He actually said thank you for taking the kids so we can have some time alone," Edge said and Cameron gave him a warning look.

"I don't mind you combing my dad's hair but I ain't leaving you alone with him," he said crossing his arms.

"Why not?" Edge said and stopped brushing Shawn's hair much to the Showstoppa's chagrin and he pushed back into Edge's arms leaning his head back against his unshaven face and rubbing his nose against it and Cameron's mouth dropped open.

"That's why, come on dad Britney Spears is downstairs let's go hang with her," he said pulling his father off the bed.

"Who the Hell is Britney Spears to be hanging out with you?" Rebecca asked, "She's a pop tart from the Disney Kids Club, Shawn is that the best you can do?"

"Like you care," Cameron said bitterly as his father tried to get away from him and back into Edge's lap, "Why don't you go dance on a pole somewhere mom,"

"Shawn!" Edge cried grabbing HBK as he went to slap Cameron for disrespecting his mom.

"I will not have you talk about your mother like that Cameron you better apologize to her right now or so help me God I will kick your narrow ass up and down this hotel room," Shawn threatened his son his piercing blue-grey eyes back along with his pierced heart tattoo.

"The same hotel room that she did Uncle Nash in? And that was almost a week ago, who knows how many TNA guys she's had in here since then," Cameron replied and Shawn broke away from Edge and went for his son but Edge tripped him up and told Jericho to get Rebecca out of the room now.

"No-one tells me to leave I decide when and where I go!" Rebecca said defiantly and walked over to her son contemptuously, "I was wrong about you, you're nothing like your father he never would have said anything like that to me, thank you for being honest, now you and your sister won't feel so bad when I don't come pick you up after school," she said and Cameron's eyes went wide with terror at the idea of never seeing his mother again.

"You mean you and Daddy are getting a divorce?" he said the tears burning the back of his eyes and Rebecca shrugged indifferently.

"Well if your father and I stay married you're going to have to respect my decision to have a career of my own out here in Florida while your father looks after you and your sister in San Antonio," she replied.

"But that's your job, you're our mom why are you taking your clothes off in public like you're Kelly Kelly or something," Cameron asked confused.

"I'm way hotter than Kelly Kelly," Rebecca said arrogantly combing her fingers through her long blond hair and she cut herself on a piece of glass that was still stuck there from the mirror that Kevin Nash threw her into. She sucked the blood and Cameron saw some drop on the plush carpet and she lied to cover for Big Sexy.

"I must have cut myself on that whiskey glass I held up to Melina's neck, where is Latina Heat anyway? Shouldn't ATM be coming to your rescue right about now Shawnie, to save you from the wicked witch of South Texas?" she said to her husband who was still reeling over what he just heard.

"You took your clothes off in public?" he said and Rebecca looked away unable to stand the condemnation in his eyes as he looked at her, "Rebecca answer me, tell me you did not just come to TNA to be a ring rat,"

Rebecca laughed, "Of course I didn't, ring rats only get one night with the Kings of Wrestling, I've had two," she answered and Cameron lost it. He started destroying hotel furniture and smashing random objects enraged by his mother's reckless behavior and Shawn eventually grabbed him and hugged him through his tears but Cameron broke away from him and kicked him hard on the shin.

"Quit your crying dad, just give mom what she wants and get out of this relationship, it's time to move on and if you won't do it I will!" Cameron roared and Shawn frowned at him, "I'll call social services on mom for putting Cheyenne and I through emotional distress, I spoke to Tristen he's thinking about suing his father for the same thing,"

Cameron walked up to his mother fire burning in his eyes and Rebecca just watched him not affected at all by his emotional outburst, after nursing her husband through rehab for four years she'd grown accustomed to the Michaels' mood swings, "I don't care if I ever see you again," he said and spat in her face.

The room went silent as the grave as the spit hit Rebecca's beautiful face like it was going in slow motion and finally Rebecca came to the reality of the situation she put her family in. Shawn had turned her son against her and they both wanted her to be the old Rebecca, the one everyone could be proud of, the one who only smiled politely and never spoke out of turn, the one she created by herself to get Shawn to put that ring on her finger and she wanted that Rebecca dead, Cameron just made that possible.

"Fine, you stay with your father, Cheyenne come on baby, you're coming with me," Rebecca said holding out her hand to her baby girl but Cheyenne ran over to Edge and hugged him tightly and Rebecca lost her brave image and grabbed her daughter desperately but Cheyenne screamed so loud she thought she was hurting her and let her go back to Lita's fiancé. Cheyenne jumped into Edge's arms crying hysterically.

"Make her go away!" she said, "I want my real mommy!" she cried and Shawn stroked her head trying to calm her down and Cameron shook his head as his mother started crying too.

"That isn't going to work mom," he said, "Either you change back or we all walk it is as simple as that, Daddy doesn't have to put up with this shit,"

"Cameron watch your mouth!" Shawn admonished his son.

"Your son just spat in your wife's face and you're telling him to watch his mouth? Where did you learn to become a father on the Jerry Springer show?" Jericho said and Edge frowned at the loud mouth from Winnipeg, Ontario.

"Go like this," Shawn said and made a face like he wanted Jericho to kiss him and Jericho obeyed, Shawn super-kicked him through the door where the Ayatollah of Rock N' Rolla landed at LC's feet and the lil' Cerebral Assassin just walked over him into the hotel room clapping her hands together impressed with what she just saw.

"You the man Shawn, Hunter says say goodbye to Rebecca and get your sexy ass on the bus, we've got witches to hunt," she said ignoring the unconscious Canadian behind and the crying mom to her left.

"Okay," Shawn said choked up at how messed up things were with Rebecca.

"Today Shawn today!" LC yelled and Shawn frowned at her.

"I'm not deaf LC I heard you!" he said annoyed.

"I know you're not deaf I was only trying to help," LC protested and Shawn grunted again.

"What do you mean how much is Cheyenne eating?" Edge asked him interpreting his noises as he took his baby girl from the Rated R Superstar and grunted again, "What do you mean she's getting heavy? I guess she takes after you,"

"You said I looked great in these jeans!" Shawn protested and LC yawned loudly and looked at her invisible watch impatiently.

"Dad why are you arguing about your weight? You sound like a girl!" Cameron asked frustrated.

"You're right we can argue on the bus, okay Cameron hold Edge's hand," Shawn said to his only son and Cameron gave him a horrifed look, "I don't want you getting lost in the crowd when he hit the lobby now come on take Edge's hand,"

Cameron shook his head furiously, "Okay well hold LC's hand then," Shawn said and Cameron quickly obeyed going red in the face when she kissed him on the cheek.

"That's for putting your mom in her place, I'm very proud of you Cam-Cam," she said fondly.

"It's a good thing Carla's not here right now," Edge said wrapping his arms around Shawn's waist but Shawn shrugged him off.

"Not in front of the kids," he said but Edge insisted on blowing a raspberry on HBK's stomach, "Quit it Rated R, gees between you blowing raspberries, Carlito spitting apples and Hunter spitting water, my baby girl has no chance of being a lady,"

Hey guys, Hunter said he's gonna leave without you," Carla said coming into the room with Cassidy and Charlene who wondered what happened to Chris Jericho and noticed Rebecca crying bitterly in the corner.

"Don't even think about it," Cameron warned her as she reached out to comfort his mom and he pulled his mother up and lay her back on the bed and blew a raspberry on her stomach causing her to giggle loudly. Cameron looked over at Carla who raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Goodbye mom," he said sadly and Shawn buried his head in Edge's chest not wanting to cry in front of his son but he was heartbroken.

"Can't we work this thing out?" he asked Rebecca one last time and she looked away from him and clenched her fists defiantly.

"No chance," she said, "take your lousy kids and get the Hell out of my hotel room,"

"Rebecca please reconsider!" Charlene cried out to her, "This isn't going to have a happy ending unless you stay with your family,"

"GET OUT!" Rebecca roared and threw pillows at everyone until they finally left.

"Ah let God handle it," LC said throwing a pillow back at her, "there are actually lives worth saving out there; we've got to get to Washington before the witching hour, that's 11pm to those who didn't know,"

Shawn nodded still holding back his tears and he felt a familiar voice calling to him and turned to see Chyna waving at the other end of the lobby. He couldn't hold back anymore and broke into tears in her arms as she drew him into a compassionate hug.

"I tried Joanie but it's no good," he wept.

"So you going to divorce her?" Joanie asked him and he looked up at her through blue-grey eyes and nodded.

"I haven't got a choice," he said soberly, "It's over,"

"Do you accept that?" she asked him compassionately and Shawn dried his tears and thought about it before nodding.

"Yeah, do you?" he asked her and Joanie lost her smile knowing that he wasn't talking about him and Rebecca anymore.

"Hey you guys come on!" Carlito called running up to them from Hunter and Stephanie's bus as they left the hotel amidst a barrage of fans and passersbyers.

"How you doing Shawn?" Randy asked him putting his hand around his shoulder and giving it a loving squeeze. Shawn looked at the bus driver and smiled.

"I'm doing good, but not as good as this guy's gonna be doing when I show him who I found at Universal Studios, hey Hunter look who's here!" HBK said bringing Chyna out for all to see.

"Man its getting cold out here," Nitro said closing his fur coat tightly around his chisled body and he suddenly fell on his butt because the ground had iced over in a matter of seconds. The temperature started to drop rapidly and winds began to blow the palm trees back and forth violently, it was almost like there was about to be a hurricane.

Hunter jumped out of the bus and ran over to Chyna before she turned into an icicle, "Leave me and my family alone!" he demanded and grabbed an arguing HBK and threw him on the bus ushering everyone else on as well and drove off down the icy road as a hurricane battered Orlando and Chyna who was now frozen like a china doll.

"Joanie!" Shawn cried out as his old friend turned to ice, "Stop the bus Joanie needs help!" he yelled at Hunter who ignored him and kept driving straight for the airport.

"Shawn stop it!" he told HBK as he grabbed the wheel.

"She's our friend we have to save her!" Shawn insisted.

"We can't save her she can't get on this bus!" Hunter yelled back.

"Why not?" Shawn asked defiantly.

"Because Aurora wants her dead!" Hunter replied and Shawn couldn't believe what he just heard.

"Since when do you take orders from a baby? Let me off this bus I'll save her if I have to freeze to death myself!" Shawn insisted trying to force the door open and suddenly the bus grinded to a halt and Shawn fell down, "I'm gonna be sore tomorrow," he said getting to his feet and turned to see Stephanie, Vince, Linda and Shane McMahon all looking back at him from outside their new Hummer limosuine, _some people never learn_ he thought thinking back to the damage DX did to the first one back at the WWE pre-Christmas party in the Carribean last December.

"Going somewhere HBK?" Stephanie asked with a cocky McMahon grin and Shawn turned to look at Hunter who's cooper eyes implored him to keep his mouth shut and get back on the bus.

"No I just wanted to write my name in the snow," Shawn replied humorously pointing at the snow that was now falling all over Florida.

"This must have been Aurora's doing," Stephanie said picking up her baby girl from out of her bassinette, "What's got you so upset sweetie?" she said warming her daughter's icy exterior with her kisses, "It's a good thing mommy brought your favorite CD isn't it?" she said to her affectionately while Shane, Vince and Linda climbed aboard and took a seat with the WWE roster and their friends.

"Whoa where was this CD made it's so old," Shane said inspecting the Mariah Carey classic curiously as Stephanie handed it to Hunter to play, "Where was this made?" he asked.

"It says right here, "MADE IN CHINA," Linda said pointing to the bold writing imprinted on the CD case.

Shawn sighed angrily thinking China was more than a country that made great food to both him and Lita while Hunter tried to block out the last five minutes of his life not noticing how hot the bus was getting.

"This is some crazy weather out here in Florida, one minute its snowing now its hot like fire!" JTG said and Shad nudged him and pointed at HBK, "Oh no, quick throw these chains in the snow before they melt!" he said sliding the window open about to throw all his chains out of it when he looked down at the snow rapidly evaporating before his eyes.

"Too late," Shad said as Anointed Amy's Righteous Indignation turned Hunter and Stephanie's bus into a pressure cooker.

"Shawn tell Lita to stop!" Hunter said but HBK was helpless against Anointed Amy's awesome power, Hunter wasn't convinced it was all Lita's doing though, "You can talk to her Shawn tell her to quit it!"

"We have to go back," Shawn said his voice twinned with Lita's, "Joanie's in trouble," she said as everyone tried to get off the bus afraid of dying from dehydration.

"You know what's gonna happen Shawn, I can't go back Aurora will go nuts!" Hunter argued and Shawn's hazel eyes and red hair flared up like a ball of fire, he turned to Hunter and grinned.

"Aurora's powers are nothing but a drop in the ocean compared to mine, now let's go back and get Chyna!" Shawn yelled and Stephanie turned around at the sound of the name she thought she'd never hear again.

"Chyna? What about Chyna?" Stephanie asked indignantly and Hunter gnashed his teeth at Shawn angrily and tackled him to the ground.

"Stop it you two, Shane pull him back!" Vince said trying to separate HBK and HHH and the bus started to cool off and Shawn went back to his normal self the same could not be said for Hunter who was still mad at him for bringing up Chyna in front of his wife.

Vince McMahon on the other hand was ecstatic, "I know why you two are fighting," he said glaring at Hunter who shook his head at the Chairman of the Board pleading with his eyes not to say anything about the videotape but Vince wasn't interested in doing his most hated son-in-law any favors, "Do you want to tell them or should I show them?" he said to Hunter who looked over at Stephanie and then over at the little girl with the sledgehammer about to wield it over Vince McMahon's head.

"Okay Vince you win," Hunter said pretending to be humiliated by the boss, "but before I tell the entire locker room what's on that videotape, I just got two words for ya - turn around," he said and Vince turned to see LC with Hunter's sledgehammer.

"AGRHHH!" he screamed as she bashed it against his chest, smashing the videotape into smithereens and hammered down on it repeatedly until it was completely destroyed.

"And now for my big confession," Hunter said wrapping his arm around his lil' apprentice, "Stephanie, Vince, Shane, Linda, I would like LC to be a part of our family and with her family's permission, I would like to make LC aka Lisa Cornelius Aurora's God sister,"

Charlotte and Dan gasped in glee while Cassidy, Carla and Charlene broke out into a round of applause, Stephanie tried not to have a heart attack and Aurora waved her rattle excitedly. Hunter knelt down to his lil' assassin in training handing her a writ declaring her officially Aurora's God sister, all she had to do was sign it and have her parents authorize it. LC saw that the parent's signature box was already signed but she couldn't believe who signed it.

"You've signed where it says parent's signature," she said to Hunter confused, "Why did you do that?"

Hunter leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Because LC, I am your father," he said and LC jumped so high she hit her head on the bus ceiling and knocked herself out, uttering the words "No way!" just before losing consciousness.


	22. Like A Virgin

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty Two - Like A Virgin

Orlando, Florida:

Hurricane Aurora destroyed Universal Studios and flattened the Impact Zone, all the TNA wrestlers were standing outside looking at each other wondering what just happened: just like that they were all out of work.

Rescuers came from all over Florida to help the local residents find shelter, the media referred to the hurricane as Hurricane Aurora, which ironically was exactly who caused it in the first place.

TNA owners Dixie Carter and Jeff Jarrett called a team meeting while the EMTs helped the tourists to safety, Jeff Jarrett suggested they go to Kevin Nash's house not too far away from where they were, Tamara was not enthusiastic about that.

"Come on Tammy this is serious, we need a place to think of a strategy," Jeff Jarrett said but Kevin Nash's wife had made her mind up.

"I'm not letting you guys run riot in my house, the last time ya'll were there I had to dry clean the couch!" Tamara replied and James Storm threw away his beer knowing that he had been the one who stained Tammy's couch with his beer.

"We ain't gonna throw a party, we need to get out of this place and think of where we can start TNA up again," Double J said and Chris Sabin frowned.

"Start up again, our home is destroyed, Orlando is the home of TNA, where else could we go that's better?" he said cynically.

"I know," Rebecca said putting her hand up but everyone ignored her.

"You might as well go back to San Antonio Rebecca, now that TNA's without a home, there's no way we can launch you as the new TNA Knockout and Queen of the Mountain," Jeff Jarrett told her and Christopher Daniels huffed sarcastically.

"More like the Queen Kevin's Mounting," he said and the X Division stars laughed, Rebecca ignored them and finished what she was going to say.

"That's right laugh it up, I think we should all go somewhere else and start from scratch, move TNA out of Florida and start up again in San Antonio," she said and everyone looked at he like she was crazy, "Here me out okay?" she said getting on top of Kevin Nash's shoulders so everyone could see her, she got the attention of all the men including the EMTs and local resident wrestling fans, they may not have had nice things to say about her but it was impossible to ignore HBK's wife, she was stunning, so stunning in fact that no-one noticed Scott Hall climbing up on Nash's pickup truck positioning himself carefully like a cat about to pounce, he waited for the signal and then he hit Rebecca with the Doomsday Device, the Legion of Doom's infamous finishing move knocking the Florida native to the ground before she had a chance to finish talking. They had finally heard enough from her and wanted her gone like a whisper in the wind.

"Good now let's go, we don't need her anymore," Double J said and the Kings of Wrestling took of for Big Sexy's house taking the locker room with them leaving Rebecca in a bruised heap on the ground with Tamara Nash, Christie Hemme, Gail Kim and So Cal Val.

"Becky can you hear me?" Tammy said cradling her bleeding head with her shaking arms, she'd never seen such violence towards a woman in all her life from Kevin Nash, Rebecca brought out a side of him she never knew existed, "Becky hold on the EMTs are coming to help you!" she told Rebecca as Christie and Val brought her to the EMTs attention. As soon as Rebecca saw the white stretcher coming towards her she got to her feet and told them to get back.

"I don't need no stretcher," she said as Tamara and Gail Kim held her up, "I need my husband," she said and Tammy smiled at the irony of the situation.

"I can't believe it took a Doomsday Device to knock some sense into you, I suppose that's what happens when you marry a wrestler," she said relieved, "Come on, Christian's on his way to the airport to meet Edge and the others, let's hitch a ride with him and Jericho,"

"Okay," Rebecca nodded holding her head and a concerned rescuer gave her and ice pack and told her to come and get her head looked at quickly. Rebecca dismissed him politely, "I'll let God take care of me from now on honey, go help these poor people on the sidewalk," she said pointing to the numerous tourists who were without a hotel or wardrobe because the entire broad walk had been wiped out by Hurricane Aurora, including the Portofino Bay hotel where Rebecca had stripped not more than an hour ago.

The TNA Knockouts walked towards Christian's car in which Jericho was already sat, "Where are they going?" he said to Christian noticing the Knockouts coming closer.

"The girls are coming with us to the airport, I guess Rebecca's coming too," Christian said curious as to why Rebecca wasn't with Nash, Hall and Jarrett right now as she came closer he had an idea why not.

"Room for one more?" she said tearfully on account of the compassionate look in Christian's eyes. The CLB hugged her to him figuring that her affair with Kevin Nash had come to a violent end now that TNA was decimated by Hurricane Aurora, "You know Shawn will take you back right?" he asked her and she nodded through her tears.

"I know he will but I don't want to go back until I get that sonofabitch back for what he did to me," she replied and Christian listened as she poured her heart out to him, "He tricked me, he seduced me, he told me he was the one I was supposed to be with and the worst part is I believed him Christian; I believed his lies and for that I will always feel guilty," she turned to Tammy and beckoned her over and Tammy ran over and embraced her lovingly, "I'm sorry for sleeping with your husband, can you forgive me for wrecking your marriage?"

Tamara laughed, "It was already wrecked, it was your marriage that was perfect, Shawn worships the ground you walk on and he'll take you back with arms wide open, dry those beautiful eyes babe, I say we reunite the Michaels' and save ATM all in the same day how about it Jay?" she asked Christian enthused.

"Sounds like a good idea to me, I bought a tux I want to be best man at Adam's wedding, get in ladies we've got a plane to catch," he said opening his car door for Rebecca, Tamara, Val, Christie and Gail to get in.

"Wait a second I see something by the road," Rebecca said noticing a frozen object not too far in the distance, she ran up to it and gasped when she recognized the person frozen solid.

"Joanie," she said touching Chyna's face concerned for her well-being under all that ice, wondering what was the true motive behind Hurricane Aurora's attack? "Why would an innocent child do this?" she thought, then it occurred to her that Stephanie and Hunter had manipulated Aurora's powers before, maybe they wanted Chyna dead, but why Rebecca wondered.

Christian brought the car around to her and noticed the sculpture and thought it wasn't a real person.

"Chyna!" Tamara cried quickly running over to the frozen Amazon, "Dammit what are we gonna do we can't leave her here!"

"Melina's a healer, maybe she can unfreeze her," Christian said but Rebecca knew that wouldn't work as Melina's healing powers didn't work on Miss. Taylor when she was frozen, there was a key to getting Chyna unfrozen.

"Trish said Jericho was the only person that could unfreeze my kids' Sunday school teacher because she had a crush on Y2J," Rebecca said.

"Who doesn't," Y2J said penning lyrics to a new song not paying them any attention and Christian pushed him out of the car and told him to stop being so selfish, "Now I know why I ain't coming back to the ring, no more men pushing me around thank you," he said straightening his jacket when Rebecca pulled him over by his ear, "Ow!" he complained.

"What did you and Miss. Taylor talk about when you left my house?" she asked him and gave him his ear back.

"I dunno that was so last week," Jericho replied rubbing his ear.

"Come on Jericho I ain't fooling around this could help us figure out how to unfreeze Joanie," Rebecca insisted and Jericho rolled his eye causing Christian and the TNA Knockouts to jump back in horror.

"Unsettling isn't it?" Jericho said blinking it to scare them even more and Rebecca poked him in it and he jumped up and down in pain.

"I don't think he's gonna help us," Tamara said thinking Y2J wasn't interested in anyone but Stephanie McMahon and since they were mutual enemies Jericho was more likely to admit to killing President Kennedy than help unfreeze Stephanie's arch rival, "What did Trish say about Aurora's powers?"

Rebecca thought back carefully, "Trish said that because she was a baby she used her powers to protect those closest to her and could destroy those who posed a threat to her family,"

"So she thought Chyna was a threat, could it be possible that she knew Hunter and Chyna were once an item?" Tammy asked.

"If Stephanie spoke about it around her but I doubt that she must have heard about their relationship some other way," Rebecca said.

"Like what?" Christie Hemme asked, "On the phone or via email?"

"How about on videotape?" Gail Kim said, "Maybe she saw an old clip of DX and wondered who that big lady was standing next to her father,"

"Guys wait-a-minute we are talking about a baby here, Aurora's not that powerful," Christian said and Rebecca gave him a dubious look, "Is she?" he thought not so sure anymore and Rebecca turned back to the frozen ice woman.

"I don't know but I know someone who does, let's cover her up and take her with us to Washington, D.C. We got to find Trish and she'll tell us The Truth about Chyna,"

Together they put Chyna's frozen body into the back of Christian's pick up truck while the Hardyz waved at them from Matt's car and told Christian to hurry up.

"Keep your hair on Matt!" Christian said driving over to them, it was like a reunion of the Superstars of the Attitude Era only without the Tables, Ladders and Chairs.

Back on the bus . . .

"Triple H is my father!" LC said as she came to.

"Hunter's your father but I don't understand!" Carla said as Shawn Michaels continued to berate his best friend for abandoning Chyna for the hundredth time on the upper level of Stephanie and Hunter's flashy tour bus. They'd been up there for awhile, LC couldn't wait for them to come down so she could talk to Hunter about this bomb he just dropped on her. All Hunter told her was that it was a secret that he didn't want anyone to know yet but she had to tell Carla, the only person apart from Charlotte that she really trusted. Keeping something like this a secret was not going to be easy, especially when she wanted to shout from the roof top that Triple H was her father.

"I'm a Helmsley," she said with a satisfied smirk that was pure Helmsley, "I always knew there was a God and now I know for a fact that there is and his name is Triple H,"

Carla rolled her eyes holding the ice pack to LC's brusied head thinking that concussion did more damage to her cousin than she realized.

"LC I've got a lot of questions about this and Triple H is not God," she said wearily but LC put her hand across Carla's mouth.

"Don't speak, just be happy for me okay cuz?" LC said and Carla couldn't help but feel happy for the lil' assassin, now a genuine Helmsley in name as well as in spirit.

Meanwhile on the upper deck of the bus . . .

"I'm sorry Shawn but it was called for, " Hunter said.

"It's never called for," Shawn said back, "There's an ice sculpture in Orlando and its not part of the Disney on Ice Parade at Universal Studios!"

"Keep your voice down Shawn, I don't want Stephanie to get upset!" Hunter said on the second level of the bus.

"Will you both please stop!" Edge yelled, "We have a serious situation on our hands,"

"We certainly do, you get possessed by the devil and now Hunter wants to abandon Chyna, let me get my Bible I think we need to perform an exorcism," Shawn said reaching into his back pocket for his mini Bible and taking the cross Jeff Hardy gave him and he pressed it to Hunter's head and started to pray.

"You were possessed by the devil?" Hunter said to Edge tickling HBK until he took his hand away from his head and fell down holding his sides with laughter.

"I nearly killed HBK, thank God I didn't," Edge said pulling his hair behind his ear, "He's my only way of communicating with Lita, when we hug I know she's okay,"

"Why can't you just talk to her through him why do you have to hug each other all the time?" Hunter said jealously and Edge bit his bottom lip amorously.

"Now where's the fun in that?" he said and smacked Shawn Michaels on the butt, Shawn responded by kicking him in the nuts.

"I say when and where boy," he said as Edge keeled over, "I may be feeling Lita's spirit but I ain't that easy - what do you mean oh yeah?" Shawn said to Lita as she flowed through him again, his pierced heart tattoo turning into a big green monster, "Oh no," Shawn moaned holding his head in frustration as his blond hair went red and his eyes turned to hazel in a matter of seconds, "I wanted to talk to Hunter about something important!" he complained feeling really feminine now, "But I don't wanna hang out with Edge!" he complained and Hunter tried not to laugh at Shawn's behavior. "What's going on between you and LC?" Shawn asked him his blue-grey eyes returning along with his blond hair which, although his natural color, was touching his waist in thick luscious locks that took Hunter back on a trip down memory lane when he debuted in 1996. When Shawn pushed him impatiently he came back to reality and the fond memories were replaced by the grim reality that was his personal life, "Talk to me!" Shawn insisted.

"What can I say I like the girl I think she's a good role model for Aurora," Hunter said only telling half the truth.

"She's crazy, why would you want another crazy person around your baby girl, there's you, me and now LC, Aurora's doomed, doomed I tells ya!" Shawn said getting a laugh out of Edge.

"You're funny Shawn," Edge said helping himself to a beer from Hunter's built-in mini bar.

"I'm sexy too - Lita knock it off!" Shawn admonished the randy red-head who willed his body towards Edge as if she was actually in the room pulling him by his arm towards the Rated R Superstar, "How many times do you guys do it? Four times a day! You should be so lucky!" Shawn said scurrying back over to Hunter before Edge could pull him down next to him on the leather seat he was stretched out on, "There's more to it than LC just being the coolest eight year-old on the planet, you're not telling me the truth, what are you hiding from me Hunter?" Shawn asked his best friend.

"Nothing!" Hunter lied, "I just like her and she makes Aurora laugh, come on will you knock it off? I don't wanna fight anymore Shawn can't we just go back to being friends?"

"When were we enemies?" Shawn asked confused, "I'm just trying to figure out why in the space of fifteen minutes Chyna is frozen solid, Orlando is blasted by a hurricane and LC is now your daughter's God sister, there's a reason for everything Hunter and I wanna know what that reason is!" Shawn held out his Bible and Hunter felt nervous looking at it, "Put your hand on it and swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth about you, Chyna and LC, do it now!"

Hunter raised his hand and put it on the little black book, only to take it away seconds later nervously and Shawn grew tired of him and turned away but Hunter pulled him back keeping his hand on the Bible, "The truth is I love you like a brother, the truth is you don't care because you're married to the Lord and above all else you're scared of living in the real world,"

"Ha!" Shawn cackled in disbelief, "What do you know about living in the real world, your married to a billionaire's daughter!" he snapped back.

"I know enough to know how much I'd hate to lose you to drugs again, is that a little too real I'm sorry maybe I shouldn't bring up the past because God wants us all to be perfect and never step outside the Garden of Eden, but the truth is we all fall short of the grace of God - all of us, including you and your so-called Christian family,"

Hunter came closer to Shawn and searched his eyes hoping to see his true feelings in there among the flickers of hazel, "Aren't you tired of being afraid of God? Wouldn't you rather live your life any way you please and then ask the Lord for forgiveness when you make a mistake? Isn't forgiveness what the New Testament's all about Shawn?"

"No," HBK replied keeping his chin up and his eyes focused on the copper beams looking back at him, "It teaches us to protect the weak from the tyranny of evil men and you wanting me to deny that is proof that you are bound for eternal damnation. Oh wait that's the Old Testament, anyways its all good" he said and Hunter clenched his jaw in rage, "Go on get mad like you always do when I tell you how it really is, you can't do what you want because you have the liberty, the freedom that you have came at a price, it came at the price of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who died on a cross at Calvary so that you can have life! He didn't die so that you can make me a part of your world of materialism and decadence, I may have been that guy back in the Attitude Era you need to recognize that I've changed, I'm not that man anymore. You think I wanna hang out with Edge? You think I like having his hands all over me? You think I like it when he tells me how much he loves me over and over and over again and how much he can't wait until we get married so we can have kids and for Heaven's sake Lita do I have to tell him the whole spiel?" Shawn said to the Anointed one who was asking him to tell Hunter how much Edge loved her and not Shawn, "I'm just doing Lita a favor, a woman has a right to be happy and letting Edge hang with me makes her happy,"

"Ain't that the truth," Edge said and Shawn felt his body getting warm.

"Stop it," he said to Lita as she got mad inside him, "He's a jerk you know that don't pay any attention to him, you want me to kick him in the nuts, Lita that's no way for a servant of God to behave . . . well if you put it that way," Shawn said and speared Hunter against the wall.

"Lita says stop trying to corrupt my pure heart," Shawn said, "And I think she's saying the reason I don't like you is because your nose is too big, oh wait no she said Trish said that's the reason I don't like you she was just passing the message along,"

"Trish said that?" Hunter said getting up holding his sides, "Well then they must be okay why are we running them down for, ask Lita where she is,"

"Shut up and find them, that was Trish again, she said Carlito's gonna get a message from her real soon and we have to head towards Washington because . . . Lita?" Shawn couldn't hear anything and Edge's throat went dry and he couldn't breathe.

"Where is she what happened can you still hear her?" he asked Shawn desperately and Shawn shook his head fearfully.

"She's gone, I think they're in trouble we better get to that airport," he said.

"I'll tell Vince to haul ass," Hunter said running back downstairs while Shawn tried to calm Edge down.

"She's gonna be okay, we'll get to them in time don't worry you and Lita will get married I promise," Shawn reassured him.

"What if we don't huh? What if we get to Washington and those bitches I mean witches kill them? I'll lose her Shawn I'm gonna lose my true love!" Edge panicked and Shawn started to think of ways to calm him down but the connection that had previously existed between them was gone which meant that Lita and the other members of ATM were in real danger.


	23. Heartache On The Haunted Hill

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty Three - Heartache on the Haunted Hill

Ten minutes outside Washington, D.C . . .

"You're disgusting," Nitro said to Edge when he found out about the $1 million dollars he had tried to buy Lita's father off with to coax him into giving her away at her wedding.

"Well I guess Edge thought he would get away with it, thank God Vince told me otherwise I would never have given him a key to our house," Linda said angrily.

"Wait-a-minute guys is it really that bad, I mean, he did it for Lita to make her happy," Hunter said seeing things from Edge's point-of-view.

"No," Nitro said turning to Hunter, "he did it so Shawn wouldn't get in the way; he doesn't want Shawn at the wedding,"

"Well can you blame him Shawn's in love with Lita!" Hunter said.

"I am not in love with Lita, sure I'm wearing her jeans, but that's because they're so cool," Shawn said admiring his ass while Hunter averted his eyes in irritation, "I love Lita that's not the same as being in love with her, I love Melina too but that doesn't mean I'm gonna sleep with her," Shawn said and Shelton, Carlito and Randy scratched their heads nervously thinking Nitro was too jealous of Melina to take that statement lightly.

"You stay away from my wife Shawn," he said seriously and turned back to the other side of DX, "It's about trust Hunter; Melina and I have it, Carlito and Trish have it, Shawn and Rebecca used to have it but Edge and Lita, they don't have it. If you don't have trust you don't have anything, just a stupid piece of paper with two names on it,"

"Hey Stephanie and I have it too," Hunter said defensively.

"You might say that trust is the cornerstone of any relationship," Vince McMahon said.

"Yeah I'll remember to tell Aurora that you disowned me to illustrate that point," Stephanie said folding her arms.

"Hey I was trying to protect you missy," her father replied defiantly.

"Protect me from the love of a sweet, devoted husband?" she retaliated.

"Shut up and drive Vince we don't have time to waste!" LC said excitedly coming to the front of the bus with Carla, Cassidy, Charlene, Cameron and Cheyenne, "Whoa!" she said on seeing the snow laced road ahead, "Aurora got busy," she said.

"You girls shouldn't be down here," Stephanie said, "It's almost time for you to go to bed,"

"Yeah but hunting witches that's a-okay right?" LC said sarcastically.

"What happened to Chyna?" Charlene asked concerned about muscle maiden of DX, "I mean I've heard of cold feet but this is ridiculous,"

"Hey I was gonna say that!" LC said.

"Well you can't have all the good lines!" Charlene replied.

"Well we have no choice, we have to leave her down there," Stephanie said and Shawn clenched his jaw trying not to get mad.

"Will she be okay? Florida's been bull-dozed by that hurricane, they're even evacuating people from Orlando, that's where TNA is," Dan said checking the news on his Blackberry.

"You mean Chyna and TNA could be gone forever? That's great!" Stephanie said maliciously and Shawn tried hard not to let his emotions get the better of him but it was hard to keep his ever smack-talking mouth shut.

"Well at least we'll find Lita and the girls," he said.

"What's that got to do with Chyna?" Charlene asked.

"Because Aurora caused that hurricane and the spell she cast over Joanie can only be broken by Chyna's true love," Shawn replied and Hunter rolled his eyes.

"What do you mean her true love?" Stephanie asked Shawn bluntly and Hunter cradled his face with his hands.

"Okay does anyone think after what Edge has done that he and Lita should still be together?" Nitro asked and everyone groaned and told him to shut up but Nitro didn't care, "Lita is not your true love!" Nitro told Edge.

"Shawn sometimes people do crazy things when they're in love okay? They just take complete leave of their senses and do things they would normally never do," Hunter said ignoring the argument going on between Edge and Johnny Nitro.

"Like choke out Lita's mother and your wife Hunter, then break Shawn's jaw and bribe Lita's father who she hasn't spoken to in years to give her away!" Nitro said angrily.

LC gasped, "He did what?" she cried in disbelief and gritted her teeth in rage and turned to find the sharpest object possible. he came at Edge swinging an axe and Charlotte took it away from her.

"Calm down Helmsley," she teased the little terror.

"He choked out Lita's mom, imagine if that was our mom Char?" LC argued and realized that she and Charlotte didn't have the same mother, "I mean your mom," she corrected herself.

"What?" Charlotte said puzzled.

"Uh-hum!" Hunter said loudly clearing his throat indicating for LC to change the subject.

"I mean imagine how you would feel if your precious baby sister went down for murder one, you'd say "I'll see you when you get out baby girl", and then you'd bake me a cake with a crow bar in it so I could break out and frame Cameron for Edge's death instead," she said and Hunter laughed while Shawn rolled his eyes and listened to Nitro instead, he seemed really riled up about Edge all of a sudden.

"So if Lita isn't Edge's true love, who is?" he asked taking the axe away from LC who protested like an angry anime character.

"Frankly Shawn I don't give a damn, now let's go hunt some witches, Vince step on it!" she cried snatching the axe back from HBK and chipping the sleeve of Vince McMahon's favorite Armani jacket with it and The Game laughed out loud.

"Oh Hell yeah!" he said, "LC why don't you keep that axe it kind of reminds me of old Sledgie," he said kissing his favorite weapon of choice and kissing it affectionately, "Good ole Sledgie," he cooed and LC crossed her new found weapon with his and they said together.

"Lord have mercy on those stupid witches!" and the Superstars cheered in war mode ready to get back the three women they loved so much and the WWE Divas.

Washington, D.C, 9pm:

The children explained to the adults that the witches operated in cells just like terrorists, there were six cells altogether and Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha controlled all of them, they were in California, Texas, Florida, North Carolina, New York and Washington, D.C so it was likely that their next big murder was gonna be there as they had been heading East and what better place to get maximum media exposure than Capital Hill, in front of the White House. The witch hunters headed in that direction talking about Edge and Lita's wedding along the way with flashlights and a fighting spirit.

"I got Lita the coolest wedding present," LC bragged as they marched towards the big white building leaving Hunter's tour bus and marched on for about three miles through the forest to keep a low profile.

"What did you get her?" Stephanie asked.

"A t-shirt with "I hate McMahons," written on it," LC replied and HBK smiled.

"I have one of those in blue," he said and LC raised her hand and they shared a hi-five.

"I bought her a Jessica Simpson dessert treats set," Britney Spears said, "but I changed the ingredients to make them more interesting, Shawn sampled the prototype, I'd say it went over well," she said patting HBK on the butt playfully.

"Ew that's not cool!" Carla said turning her nose up holding onto Charlotte's hand while Dan took the other one.

"It's not just for Lita," Britney said cocking her eyebrow suggestively and Cassidy and LC understood what she meant and started giggling.

"I don't get it," Cameron said holding his father's hand.

"And you won't for about another 10 years," Shawn replied.

"I bought her a poster of Che Guevara, only instead of Che its Carlito!" El Con Dios said.

"You cheap bastard," Triple H said overhearing Carlito from the driver's seat.

"It's not cheap it's cool!" Carlito protested.

"No its cheap Carlito, how could you get Lita a poster of yourself for her wedding present?" Hunter asked incredulously.

"It doesn't matter now anyway they're not getting married," Randy blurted out, "Oops," he said but everyone ignored him then he remembered what the Holy Spirit said, when the time is right all shall be revealed, "Its tough being The King's Oracle," Randy thought scratching his head.

"Even so Carlito that is the worst wedding present I ever heard of," Hunter said in an attempt to break the ice, "If you gave me and Steph something like that I would have thrown it back in your face,"

LC started to laugh and Carlito got upset, "So what did you get her?" he asked Hunter irritated.

"A van with the angelic trio on it; Amy the Anointed, The Truth: Trish Stratus and Melina the Miraculous spray painted all over, so when they go on their holy expeditions they have something cool to roll in: I call it the ATM Machine," Hunter said and everyone agreed that it was the coolest wedding present ever leaving Carlito in a rage.

"Yeah well, when we find them tonight, I'm making sure that poster gets put up on the inside!" he said and everybody laughed at how he was getting over the poster.

"What did you get her Nitro?" Linda McMahon asked.

"A faux fur jacket," he answered and everyone snickered.

"Cut from one of your own no doubt," Vince McMahon said and everyone laughed while Nitro joined Carlito in pouting.

"Whoa Mr. McMahon made a joke that can't be right," LC said, "I thought the scientist that created The McMahons removed all sense of humor?"

Vince shook his head, "It's like Hunter only turned into a little girl," he said marveling at the similarities between LC and his son-in-law, "It's a shame I was actually interested in getting you a developmental deal when you're older,"

"Please," LC put her hand out in protest, "I see what you do to women in the WWE,"

"Yeah you turn them into robotic morons," Cassidy said.

"Trish, Lita and Melina are the last bastions of women's wrestling," Charlene said.

"Yeah all the others suck - literally," LC said and Charlotte slapped her on the arm for being so vulgar even though she totally agreed with her.

"Well what do you young ladies want to be when you graduate out of high school?" Linda McMahon asked them linking her arm with her husband's.

"A fashion designer," Charlene answered.

"A professional gymnast," Cassidy said, "I wanna compete in the next Olympics,"

"A crusader," LC answered.

"Oh you mean you wanna travel around the whole world telling people about Christ?" Linda asked proudly and LC frowned at her like she was crazy.

"Um no, I wanna voyage throughout the world smiting the ungodly and setting heathens on fire in the name of Jesus Christ, you know like the church used to do in the 10th century," LC clarified and Hunter started laughing.

"Kind of like a professional hitman," Hunter said approvingly.

"Exactly, see that's why your the 10 Time World Champion you understand everything important," LC said.

"Your sister needs help," Vince said to Charlotte.

"Not as much help as you're going to need getting out of bed in the morning after I break your legs old man," LC responded and everyone gasped in shock at her in your face attitude. Hunter swept LC into a hug and kissed her affectionately.

"I love you so much," he said proudly.

"This is like some wonderful dream, no wait Cameron's here it's still a nightmare," she said and Shawn's little boy crotch chopped her and his father slapped him upside the head which Carla followed up with a little kiss for which he was very grateful.

Hunter put LC down and Stephanie stormed over to them and pushed LC harshly towards her sister and away from her husband, "Hunter there's no such thing as a God sister, I don't want LC hanging out with my daughter," she complained and LC whipped her around by her skirt, got a handful of her expensive silk blouse and stuck her finger in the billion dollar princess's face threateningly.

"Don't you dare try and spoil this for me. All my life I've dreamed of becoming a Helmsley and no McMahon male or female, young or old, dead or alive is going to rob me of it now!" she said adamantly on her tiptoes all up in Stephanie's grill.

"Congratulations LC, this is where you belong," Charlene said giving her a hug along with Cassidy, Brandon and Miss. Taylor who had joined them at Orlando International Airport.

"We're gonna be seeing a lot more of each other!" Stephanie warned her.

"Not if I get you arrested for selling drugs to a minor," LC warned her and Stephanie looked over at Charlotte in shock.

"Oh she'll do it," Charlotte assured Stephanie, "She got her uncle deported because he bought her a Bratz doll for Christmas,"

"Cam, Carla?" LC said turning to the young couple.

"What?" Cameron said not realizing what just happened; LC was being nice to him.

"Haven't you guys been a couple long enough, you haven't heard a word said all night," Cassidy asked them.

"Yeah sure Mr. McMahon has no sense of humor we totally agree," Cameron said and when back to Carla and Shawn yanked him back and told him not to kiss Carla so much.

LC shook her head, "I'll send you an email detailing the events that don't include kissing Carla," she said sarcastically.

"Thanks," Carla said and LC slapped her around the head.

"Hunter's my Dad you goof!" she said and Carla hugged her.

"That's great LC . . . wait what did you just say?" she said confused by what she just heard.

"He's not your father he's Aurora's father, you're just a stupid God sister," Stephanie said spitefully and Shawn looked at her disapproving of her attitude towards the hot-tempered eight year-old.

"And that's not even a real thing," Cameron said and LC raised her fist at him and he quickly changed his tune, "I mean that's great LC, you're part of the Kliq at last, dreams do come true for some of us anyway," he said sadly and Shawn felt sad himself not having his wife around to kiss.

"They certainly do," LC said smiling lovingly at her father.

"And it would be even greater if it were going to happen," Vince McMahon said and LC looked at him anxiously.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"It's gonna happen Vince, I'm already drawn up the paperwork," Hunter said pulling out the writ with his signature on it.

"Carlito looked closely at the paper, "This just says "Vince loves cocks"?" he said puzzled.

"Oh sorry, wrong side," Hunter said turning the paper around, "All Charlotte has to do is sign it,"

"Oooh gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!" LC said as her sister took out her a pen as Hunter held the paper under the flashlight so she could see where to sign, before the pen could touch the paper Vince snatched it out of Hunter's hand.

"Hey give that back," Hunter said.

"Sure I'll give it back as long as you don't mind if I tell LC exactly what she's getting into?" Vince said manipulatively.

"Oh Dad for crying out loud," Stephanie said snatching the paper away from Vince, "Come on LC," she said and LC gasped in shock.

"You impress me again Stephanie maybe you're a Helmsley after all, oh no wait I am," she said.

"Believe whatever you want honey, the sooner we get this witch hunt over with the sooner you can go back to Bakersfield with your real family," Stephanie said ruffling LC's hair and looking at her husband who looked seriously pissed off.

"Give me the paper Steph," he said to her glumly.

"But Charlotte hasn't signed it yet," Dan said.

"Just give it to me," Hunter insisted and Stephanie handed it over.

Hunter looked at LC sadly, "I'm sorry Lisa," he said and tore the writ in two.

LC watched in horror as the paper that made her dreams come true was ripped apart before her very eyes. She looked up at Hunter for an explanation but he just turned and headed back to the tour bus and sat back down in the driver's seat alone and depressed. Cameron came over to LC concerned, if he didn't know any better he'd say she was about to cry.

"LC are you alright?" he asked and LC ran off down the side of the road as fast as her legs carry her. She stopped a little way down the road to catch her breath and looked back to see Charlotte, Dan and her friends coming after her but the one person she wanted to see was still on the bus. _Get it together LC, _she admonished herself not allowing a single tear to drop and she saw a woman pouring something on the road up ahead. When she looked closer she saw that there was a trail of kerosene going from the black van to right under Hunter and Stephanie's tour bus. LC gasped as the girl lit a match: but it was Maria CM Punk's girlfriend and she ran frantically back over to her sister frantically.

"Get them!" she said to Charlotte staring at the black van over in the distance.

"What?" Charlotte asked confused.

"It's gonna blow!" LC said pointing to the line of fire coming down towards the bus. Everyone's eyes widened in shock and told Hunter to get off the bus, "Come on!" LC called to Cassidy, Carla, Charlene and Cameron who followed her towards the black van. They collected rocks from the side of the road and stated throwing them at the van hoping to smash one of the windows.

"Hey what if ATM are in there?" Carla said.

"It'll be okay we're on their side, we're doing this in the name of Jesus Christ, take that you stupid witches!" LC shouted throwing a rock so hard it smashed the glass window at the back of the van, "Yes!" she said elated then the rock came flying back at her and Cassidy caught it before it hit her on the head. LC and Charlene ran to get the license plate before the witches drove off while Cassidy inspected the rock noticing the blood on it.

"We got 'em," she said as the guys came running back over to her. She showed them the bloodied rock and LC showed then the license plate number. The furious five slapped each other's hands proud of the work they'd done and the adults came over to them and they were about to explain what they did when Stephanie and Hunter's tour bus exploded causing a huge fireball to envelop the sky. Everybody coughed from the smoke and moved into the woods near the hill.

"You saved me!" Hunter said ecstatic and proud of his daughter, "If you never got pissed off we never would have known that was gonna happen!"

"See I told you getting the kids involved was a good idea," Carlito said to Nitro.

"Yeah shame you don't have the same sensibilities when you're buying wedding presents," Hunter said and Carlito shot him a dirty look and Shawn pointed to his head.

"What?" Carlito said, "I should use my head next time? Ha-ha very funny Heartbreak, who else wants to pick on Carlito?"

"Oh my God!" Stephanie said and Carlito frowned at her.

"What?" he said confused and she pointed at his hair which Carlito felt and it was hot, real hot, like it was on fire.

"Fire!" Nitro shouted and Carlito jumped up and all around like a crazy person.

"Water, water!" he cried and Triple H unscrewed his water and spit it out on Carlito's hair but as soon as the water left his mouth it turned into ice.

" Aurora!" Hunter said turning to his little girl who giggled ecstatically.

"What did she do that for?" Shawn wondered.

"You guys my hair is burning up!" Carlito cried the flame lighting up the skyline.

"Look there's a lake over there," Linda said pointing across from the wood and Carlito ran towards it, once at the edge he lowered his head into the water extinguishing the flames.

He sat back on the grass and tried to calm down. His afro was burnt down to a mere two inches and the ends of his hair were all singed.

"That's not cool," Shawn said coming over and Carlito shot him a dark look.

"I need a hat," he said patting his head and turned back to look at the lake. The water was shimmering where he had dipped his head, the ripples started to grow and spread far across the water. Carlito lent over for a closer look.

"What's going on?" Shawn asked him.

"I don't know but I think this water's trying to tell me something," Carlito replied leaning over for a closer look and Shawn looked at Randy and they agreed.

"It's Trish," Randy said then suddenly Carlito's reflection disappeared and in its place was the reflection of the beautiful Trish Stratus.

"ARGHHH!" Vince gasped falling on his butt while El Con Dios smiled back at The Truth: Trish Stratus.

"Mi amor," he said lovingly.

"What's cookin' good lookin;" Trish replied and everyone froze at the sound of the familiar voice.

"I am," Carlito said pointing to his singed 'fro and Trish laughed.

"Tell me I didn't just hear that?" Vince said to his wife.

"Well at your age everything fails," Carla said uncharacteristically to get back at the cruel mogul for ruining her cousin's special day. She came over to the lake with her friends and everyone knelt down to hear what The Truth had to say.

"First off sorry about the hair Carlito but it was necessary to get your attention, Aurora remind me to kiss you later," Trish said and Aurora giggled, "I just wanted to prepare you for the witch hunt that will begin soon and I'm not talking about the one you're on. Vince listen up because you're going to have to get your people ready for this one. The witches are one murder away from completing phase one of their evil plan, after which the police will be looking for Amy, Melina and myself, so we're going to keep our profiles off the police radar,"

"What!" Carlito shouted.

"Honey please you're making the water ripple!" Trish complained, "We're gonna leave the country as soon as they throw us out of the van. If you want to come and say goodbye to us that's fine but under the circumstances I don't think there should be WWE Superstars in one place because the cops are gonna be looking for you all, especially my Carlito El Con Dios,"

The wrestler covered their faces in disbelief, "I'm really sorry about this guys but if we get caught we go down for murder and our work on Earth is too important for that to happen. I suggest you guys pin those witches to the wall with evidence that they killed those people not us. Only then can we come back. Don't cry Carlito," Trish said to her boyfriend who was sobbing hard at this news, "God has left me in your very capable hands,"

Carlito looked around as Randy and Shawn his fellow Holy Helpers both smiled at him reassuringly, he tried to smile back but he was choking on his tears.

"Now one last thing before I go, take care of yourselves because we all want to see you again very soon. Shawn kudos on feeling Lita's spirit Amy is very proud of you and as for that secret you're keeping Hunter, Shawn will find out what it is,"

Triple H frowned wondering if Trish meant what he thought she meant and if so, was alright to come clean? Trish splashed some water up on everyone, "That's for protection," she said, "The Lord is with you even though we aren't,"

Trish's reflection disappeared and Carlito stared back at himself bewildered and touched the water hoping Trish would come back but she didn't. Nitro picked him up and pulled him into an embrace and Shawn and Randy joined in patting him on the back reassuringly.

"They'll be back on American soil in no time," Shawn said confidently.

"Yeah we've got one of the witch's blood, all we have to do is get it to the cops to compare it to the blood on one of the victims, I mean there's bound to be some," Cassidy said.

"And we have to find that van," LC said, "Live got the license plate number right here," she said showing everyone the number she wrote down.

"JC's Lil Helpers," Shawn said admiring the tenacity of the young Christian soldiers, "Now how we gonna get to D.C?"

"In this Dad," Cameron said over by the bushes behind which was a boat. Now everybody understood why they had come over to the lake, it was simply Divine Intervention.

"Oh no," Vince said reading a news alert on his Blackberry after it vibrated in his pocket.

"What is it?" Linda asked him.

"This is from Fox News: WWE Divas suspects in ritualistic murders of three local residents. A woman was set on fire by retired 7 time Women's Champion Trish Stratus in Clear Water, Florida this afternoon, a young father of three was thrown from a hotel balcony while on a business conference by the also retired 3 time Women's Champion Lita aka Amy Dumas in New York City awhile later and just moments ago an American soldier was decapitated and wrapped in the Puerto Rican flag and his head was stuck on a spike on the gate outside the White House in Washington, D.C by the Latina Superstar Melina Perez. The police believe they are close to an arrest and the Chairman of the Board Vincent Kennedy McMahon is being contacted by police for questioning regarding this heinous demonic crime against humanity from his WWE Divas or should we say his WWE witches,"

Vince looked at his list missed calls; it was a lot, "I have to take care of this," he told everyone who were gaping at him in shock at what he had just read out to them, "You go to D.C and find that black van,"

For once Vince McMahon and the wrestlers were all on the same page and they all jumped in the boat while he called his driver to have him and his family picked up.

"Hunter let's go," Stephanie said walking alongside her father but Hunter didn't move, "We've gotta go back to the Compound with Mom and Dad let's go," she said impatiently but Hunter shook his head and refused to leave.

"I'm staying with these guys," he said moving closer to Shawn and the rest of the RAW Superstars, but it was his proximity to LC that caught Stephanie's attention.

"Fine, I'll see you at home later, don't keep me waiting," she snapped and stormed off with her family taking Aurora with her while LC blew a raspberry at her which Aurora copied much to Stephanie's annoyance and to Hunter and Shawn's amusement, the latter of which sent a crotch chop after her.

"That was for Chyna," he said and put his arm around Hunter and kissed him on the cheek, "Welcome back buddy," he said happily and Edge smiled wishing them both all the best in their last few days as Degeneration X.

"That's why your hair was burnt off," Randy said to Carlito, "so no-one would recognize you,"

"Yeah with the police looking for Trish they're gonna be looking for you too son, as well as Nitro and Edge," Hunter said.

"I can't imagine what Mel's mom is thinking, she must be sick with worry," Nitro said feeling like throwing up himself.

"Vince will take care of it, let's handle our end," Shawn said supportively as Hunter got behind the wheel of the speed boat and everyone looked at him questioningly.

"Do you even know how to drive a boat?" Shawn asked his cerebrally challenged friend.

"How difficult can it be?" Hunter replied sending the boat backwards into an oak tree causing Shawn to fly out into the lake. The Showstoppa crawled out of the bushes and slapped Hunter upside the head.

"You forget that I still have this," Hunter said brandishing his trusty sledgehammer, "Good thing LC stole it before the bus blew up," he said winking at his daughter who saluted him like a soldier would their lieutenant.

"I'll drive," Carlito said getting behind the wheel.

"Do you even know how?" Charlotte asked him pulling LC onto her lap and Dan squeezed in next to her as the WWE Superstars and friends clamored back into the boat.

"God said, "Carlito get in the boat and drive to the Capital Hill" and since I do live by His Word I say ARRIBA UNDELE!" Carlito yelled in dedication to his Canadian sweetheart Trish Stratus speeding over the rippling water counting down the moments until he saw her beautiful face again.


	24. Girls on Film

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty Three - Girls on Film

Capitol Hill, Washington D.C, 11pm:

The witches were on the hill but they were also in the air, in the water and on the ground, they had the White House surrounded. Authority to Massacre told Krystal, Layla and Ashley to set the American soliders about to take them down on fire right by the Lincoln Momorial while Kelly Kelly and Ariel pushed people into the Tidal Basin and drowned them in it. Cherry, Gillian Hall and Maria cursed the pedestrians with boils and sores that bled painfully and those who God had called to protect Authority to Minister from Authority to Massacre watched it all in absolute horror from the Potomac as the WWE Divas covered Capital Hill in blood.

"We gotta save them!" Johnny Nitro said jumping out of the boat with Shelton and Cryme Tyme and running down the hill but Shawn Michaels pulled him back while The King's Oracle and El Con Dios tackled the others to the ground and told them to stay put.

"No we wait for the signal, we can't move until God says so," he said and everybody looked at the Holy Helpers wondering if God was gonna intervene at all.

"I hope you know what you're doing Shawn," Hunter said LC on his shoulders while Cassidy, Carla, Cameron and Cheyenne prayed with each other; already familiar with these witches they knew how bad things were going to get. The adults were less prepared, in fact, they were scared beyond belief.

The White House:

Secretary of State Condeezela Rice told the National Guard to take the demonic young women down but ATM asked God to protect them because they were being harvested by Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha and were not responsible for the terror they were inflicing on the American public, _please have mercy on them Father _they prayed and the Lord spared them from the hail of bullets coming their way, confounding the Armed Forces and the Bush Administration as rounds and rounds of ammo did zero damage to the beautiful athletic young women.

"Good Lord Almighty what is happening out there?" President Bush said from the Predicament Room.

"There's something strange happening out there sir," Condeleeza Rice said looking at her notes on the madness concentrating just yards from the building, "I think they might be terrorists in an All American disguise,"

"Terrorists? Condi those are Divas, Dubya, Dubya E Divas, I know because I been waiting for this day, now I can finally shut that ungodly sess pool over up there down once and for all," GW Bush said getting onto the FCC and leaving the Secretary of State confused.

"Sir what are you talking about?" Condi asked her Commander In Chief, "They're killing Americans right outside, who else but terrorists would do that?" she argued but the President told her to be quiet.

"Be quiet Condi," he said, "I know a terrorist when I see one and those young women are too good looking to be terrorists!"

"So what are they sir, spokesmodels for women's rights?" Condelezza said sarcastically.

"Worse, they're witches," Bush replied and Condi rolled her eyes.

"Don't tell me you believe in that supernatural nonsense Mr. President?" she said cynically, "There's no such thing as witches,"

"Hang on a second Powell I gotta school Condi on something," the President said putting the phone down the Head of the FCC and turning his attention to the Secretary of State, "About 7 years ago I think it was 1999 a young group of girls were accused of performing witchcraft after school in Houston and Mark Calloway otherwise known as the Undertaker reported it to the government. We ran a check on one of the girls and it turns out that she was wanted for murder in 6 other states; California, North Carolina, Virginia, Connecticut, New York and Florida. She called herself Abatha and she was obsessed with the Dubya Dubya F and you know what I think about the World Wrestling Federation. That girl must have been under Vince McMahon's control there's no way a ten year-old girl could kill 6 people of her own will. This is the evidence we need to put that steroid drinking sumbitch away for good!"

"Are you out of your mind? We should be looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction not accusing a wrestling promotor of organizing satantic rituals in the first degree?" Condezzela said refusing to believe the President's outrageous and outdated theory of women being witches.

"But we don't know where the Dubya MDs are Condi and if we don't get the voters back on the Republicans side we're gonna lose the popular vote and get kicked out of office, you don't want those stupid Democrats getting in here again do you? Hilary always leaves the toilet seat up and it really pisses me off man," Bush complained and Condelezza sighed knowing she was wasting her time trying to reason with the President of the United States.

"I give the order to apprehend them for questioning," she said reluctantly.

"Good, then we'll have ourselves a good ole fashioned hanging Texas style - YEE HA!" Bush exclaimed clicking his heels and Condezeela did a double take.

"A public execution?" she said clutching her chest which had shrunk to half the size at the idea of seeing those young women hanged on national television, "Sir, Mr. President, George please don't do this!" she called after the President who resumed his conversation with the FCC and ignored Condezzela's pleas begging him to reconsider this medieval form of execution.

Downtown Washington D.C, Freedom Plaza, WWE autograph signing:

Batista was looking out of his car window to see if the angry mob that had gathered outside was still there and unfortunately it was. Dave had just finished an autograph session when the story about Trish, Lita and Melina broke. He got a call from Hunter telling him to keep an eye out for the girls and as he was about to get into his new BMW convertible when a black van screeched across the road and bumped the curb. Dave watched as a girl dressed up to look just like Lita got out of the driver's seat and opened up the back of the van. Seconds later Trish, Melina and Lita were pushed out and Authority to Massacre drove away.

Dave hopped into his convertible, drove over to them and picked them up one by one, put them in his car and sped off home. Unfortunately somebody saw him, called the police and the angry mob tried to follow him recognizing him as Dave "The Animal" Batista. Luckily Dave knew his hometown like nobody's business and dove onto some side streets that only a few people knew about. Eventually he lost them but it would only be a matter of time before the police were at his house. Right now he was thinking of a way to get to Ronald Reagan National Airport, he was implicated in this witch hunt now which meant that he'd have to go with the girls to wherever they were gonna hide out. Vince McMahon wouldn't like it but he had no choice, this was too much controversy for Amy, Trish and Lita to handle alone and he was just the muscle they needed to get out of the country alive.

"You girls ready?" Dave said looking back at Lita, Trish and Melina who were applying the finishing touches to their new looks.

"Just a little bit more off the side," Melina said to Lita who was shaving around Trish's ear, "that's it," Melina said and Trish felt her head the unfamiliar feelings of nothing being up there was quite a shock to her system. Not that she was alone; Trish and Melina both now had hair like Batista - well all except Lita whose hair had grown back real fast and real long. The big man looked at them all compassionately; they'd been through so much and now they'd lost their hair.

"You look great," he said to each of them but Trish and Melina needed to hear that the most, "I mean it you really look great," he said and kissed them on the head stopping at Melina, "You ready to give the scream of a lifetime?" he asked her and she blushed.

"Dave I'm a married woman we can't do that anymore!" she said and Trish rolled her eyes.

"That's not what he meant," she said and Melina giggled.

"I'm sorry, it's been awhile. Dave and I go way back," Melina explained.

"I know," Trish said, "I also happen to know just how far back you went, for how long and in whose locker room now go outside and scream already!"

Lita hugged Trish knowing that seeing Melina and Dave made her think of Carlito, "It's gonna be alright," she reassured her but Trish was still reeling from her new haircut even though they all agreed that her hair was so recognizable shaving it was a must if they were gonna make a clean get away. But it was harder still looking at Lita; since Anointed Amy started channelling Shawn Michaels, Lita's head had grown long honey blond hair and her eyes were now hazel-grey blue i.e. looking at her was like looking at a more beautiful reflection of herself, so beautiful in fact she could barely look her sister in Christ in the eye without wanting to crawl under a rock.

"I know it will grow back, "Trish said," I just uprooted my life to be closer to Carlito and now I'm flying half-way across the world with your haircut!"

"You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder," Dave said.

"Yeah but it doesn't make the hair grow longer!" Trish replied and Dave gave her a big hug and Trish's eyes opened wide with girlish glee, "It's like having my own Armani teddy bear!" she said and Lita laughed as the previously blond Canadian lost herself in Big Dave's muscles while Lita lost herself in prayer. _Go home Shawn _she said knowing her eternal soulmate would hear her, _Rebecca's waiting for you_. _But what about you guys, are you some place safe? _Shawn asked her through the Spirit Realm, _Shawn you're always thinking about me, now go home and think about getting on with your life _Lita replied and she heard nothing for awhile, then Shawn Michaels replied, _Okay my love, _he said, _I'll pray for you if you pray for me because we're all a part of God's body. _Lita smiled, _I'll never stop praying for you Shawn, take care and I'll see you soon . . . tell Edge I love him and I'll see him at the altar in a couple of weeks _she said with tears coming down her face. _Lita wait, _Shawn called but she was already gone before he could finish. _I love you, _he said.

"I love you too," Edge said pulling Shawn into a hug and crying over the Showstoppa hoping Amy could hear him wherever she was.

Outside Batista's house:

Melina stepped out towards the angry mob that was still amassing on Big Dave's lawn and they all stared trying to recognize who she was which given her new haircut was very difficult. She didn't given them time to identify her, she took a very deep breath and let rip the biggest primal scream her 5' 2" frame could muster causing all the people to cover their ears and cower to the ground in agony meanwhile Trish, Lita and Dave jumped into his BMW convertible and drove off taking the screaming Melina Perez Hennigan with them.

Somewhere near the Potomac River . . .

As they pulled up to the airport Dave pulled out his wig and put it on.

"Whoa Dave you look hot!" Melina said as Dave straightened the Triple H looking mane on his head.

"Yeah no-one will expect to see me looking like this," he said and made one final adjustment, "Okay people let's roll,"

As they jumped out of his car he turned of the engine and jumped out.

"Until we meet again my friend," he said to his car and blew it as kiss before queuing up with ATM in the airport. In The queue a man come up to Dave and handed him an envelope then walked away.

"Here are your retouched passports ladies," he said opening up the envelope and taking out four passports.

"How did you do this so fast?" Melina asked impressed with the modifications made to her photo and name.

"I know a guy who knows a guy that does this sort of thing," Dave replied and ATM knew it was no mistake Batista was going with them as they went on the lam; his street smarts and contacts were exactly what they needed to escaped the American government that had pictures of them up all over the airport.

"Amelia Dumont?" Lita said reading out her new name amused, "I like that its cute,"

"Teresa von Strauss?" Trish said turning her nose up not liking her new name one bit.

"Mia Peña," Melina said delighted, "It's sounds like Melina Perez only better - just kidding!"

"Sssh!" Trish and Lita said telling her to keep her voice down because they were incognito.

"That's right," Dave said and the girls nodded their approval at the cool sounding name, "Here are your credit cards and check books. There should be some money in Amelie, Teresa and Mia's accounts courtesy of an anonymous donation," he said winking at them and they all smiled in gratitude.

"So where are we going?" Melina asked the girls.

"I know a place in Italy you could stay," Batista said, "It's a villa in Palermo, its quite out of the way and an ideal place to lay low for awhile," Lita and Melina nodded enthusiastically but Trish shook her head.

"Ain't gonna happen, " she said.

"What?" Dave asked.

"We ain't gonna be staying at no villa in Palermo," Trish said firmly adjusting her army green baseball cap so it didn't press against her skull so much.

"Then where are we going?" Melina asked confused and Trish pointed to an Islamic family in the other line. They all looked at her confused, "We're going to Iraq," she said ignoring the stunned faces looking back at her.

"Why?" Melina asked confused.

"Because I know where the Weapons of Mass Destruction are," she answered and Dave, Lita and Melina's mouths dropped and the Islamic mother laughed.

"Yeah right," she said in her own language as ATM joined the line and Dave Batista said goodbye to the three soldiers of Christ as they moved onto security check.

"I better call Christie and tell her I can't make it tonight," Dave said dialling Hemme's number and ATM turned and smiled.

"From Baghdad with love huh Dave?" ATM said at the same time and headed for the security barricades incognito and AWOL something which Vince was not gonna be happy about of that Batista was certain as he called Hunter to tell him the girls were on their way to um, war.


	25. Burn the Witch, the Witch is Dead

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty Four - Burn the Witch, the Witch is Dead

On the Potomac River:

Hunter hung up his cell phone and stared into space.

"ATM are going to Iraq," he said and everyone looked at him like he was crazy and LC on his shoulders examined his scalp to see if his brain was leaking out.

"Why would they go there that's like the most unsafe place they could go," Charlotte said confused and Hunter smiled in shock at what Dave Batista just told him.

"Because Trish Stratus knows where the Weapons of Mass Destruction are," Carlito El Con Dios said and everyone turned to him knowing that he was only speaking what God had told him and then they all turned to The King's Oracle for confirmation.

Randy nodded, "It's true they are going to find the Weapons of Mass Destruction," he said and everyone cheered loudly and started chanting "USA! USA! USA!" at the top of their voices and then Randy silenced them the only way he could, "BUT," he yelled getting their attention immediately, "There will be a sacrifice,"

Carlito narrowed his eyes at Randy Orton but let him finish speaking, then finally he asked the question he didn't want the answer to, "Is Trish the sacrifice?" he asked and Randy dropped his chin and everyone started to yell and scream at him saying that he was wrong but he knew he had been called for this moment and he lifted his head back up and told them what God had shown him, "Shawn did you get the message from Anointed Amy telling you to go home?" he asked the Showstoppa and Shawn nodded that he had, "Then it's true, Melina and Amy will return from Iraq but Trish will not. I'm sorry Carly Trish wouldn't want me to lie to you or to any of us, the next time we see her she'll be dead,"

"No!" Carla screamed, "Why does she have to be the sacrifice, she didn't do anything wrong it was those terrorists that started this whole thing!"

"And Trish is gonna bring this war to and end, you think they're just gonna let her walk out of there with her head held . . ." Randy trailed off not wanting to scare the little girl, "Carla honey you have to look at this from a Gospel point of view; in the Old Testament sacrifices would be made to appease God, in the New Testament Jesus died so that we may have eternal life and since Trish Stratus is part of God's angelic trio, she won't feel any pain and she won't suffer because she's going home to sit at the right hand of her Father."

"And America will be safe once again," LC added understanding what Randy was saying, "It's tough for Carla to take because she's a hard girl to Stratusfy, I'm more of a Hunter Helmsley type myself," she said brandishing her axe which had her new name inscribed in it.

"What's LCH?" Cameron asked her noticing the initials as they approached the White House where Vince McMahon's brand new helicopter had just arrived.

"Lisa Cornelius Helmsley," she answered proudly and Shawn gave Hunter a questioning glance.

"Don't you think you're taking this obsession with Hunter just a bit too far LC?" Cameron told her and LC resisted every bone in her body telling to scream from the top of Capital Hill that Triple H was her father.

"Just because no-one wants to be a Michaels' not even your mom likes you, I have the best family in the world and you're just jealous," she said spitefully and Hunter smirked.

"So you're gonna stand there and let this little wannabe put me down?" Cameron said to his father who told him to be quiet.

"That's enough outta you lil man, LC don't think that being a Helmsley is something to be proud of," Shawn told Lisa who gave him a disparaging look.

"What did you just say about my Dad?" she said angrily and Charlotte had heard enough, she pulled LC to one side and told her off.

"Lisa stop it, this is getting stupid I know you love DX but Hunter is just humoring you because you're so devoted to him, he is not your father!" she said and LC felt like exploding but one look up at her father's eyes told her that this was not the time or the place to tell her sister who she really was. She ran off instead and everyone followed her as she approached the White House gate her axe in hand and her cell-phone ringing in her backpack.

"Hello?" she said answering it.

"Lisa why are you on national television with an axe in your hand?" her father asked her, at least he used to be her father.

"Um this isn't really a good time, here talk to Charlotte it was all her idea," she said and handed her cell phone to her big sister who had finally caught up with her.

"What are you doing stop that!" Charlotte said as LC began to chop the iron gates with her axe, "We're gonna get arrested LC!"

"Why do you think I'm doing this?" Lisa replied and eventually security came over to her, one of which recognized her instantly.

"It's you, that Christian nut job from Karate Kamp, get the President, LCsan's here!" he said and the gates opened and the Secretary of State came out and gave the lil' Christian crusader a big hug.

"Mom are you watching this?" Charlotte said.

"Go on LC give her a big chop!" her mom said and her father took the phone back.

"Charlotte get that little Hellraiser away from the Secretary of State before we all get thrown in jail," he said but Charlotte left her alone and asked the question that had been nagging her since they left Bakersfield.

"Dad are LC and I really sisters?" she said and the phone went dead, "Dad?" she called and redialed the number while the President welcomed Vince McMahon and his family into the White House.

"Hey what about us can't we come in?" Shad cried offended.

"Not after the skit you did making fun of me on RAW you can't, who's laughing now huh funny man?" the President replied and Cryme Tyme got an idea.

"Whatchu doing bruh?" JTG said as Shad dialed Jeff Hardy's cell phone.

"Yo where you at Artist? North Carolina?" Shad asked Jeff who was just leaving Charlotte with his brother and Ric Flair.

"Yeah we had to go pick up Naitch, we're gonna fly to Washington in his jet, what do you want?" he said.

"I want money, cash money oh and while you're asking I want a hundred cans of black metallic paint," Shad said and Jeff Hardy got excited he knew where Shad was going with this.

"You really gonna paint the White House black?" he asked getting Matt to listen in on the conversation while the pilot was preparing for take off.

"And green, bring green paint too!" HBK added and Hunter took Shad's cell phone without asking.

"Yo that's my phone man!" Shad replied angrily.

"I'll buy you one that doesn't have 'Property of Shelton Benjamin' engraved on it," Hunter replied.

"What?" Shelton said enraged.

"Make it sure it has 10 Mega pixels too playa," Shad told the Cerebral Assassin who nodded and Cryme Tyme did their victory dance singing "Money, money, yeah, yeah!" over and over again while Shelton searched his pockets.

"Jeff I want you to go to the warehouse downtown and when you get there buy all the black and green paint you can find, if my wife's gonna kill DX we're gonna go out the way we came in - on Live TV, are you down with that lil' man?" Hunter asked the Rainbow Warrior who glanced at his reflection admiring his latest dye job.

"On one condition Trips," he replied.

"And what's that?" Hunter asked not used to having to ask anybody for anything.

"Get Shawn Michaels to join the Hardy Boyz," Jeff replied and the Cerebral Assassin scowled into the phone, "DX is done your wife said so,"

"I SAY WHEN WE'RE DONE!" Hunter roared and threw the cell phone over the gate hitting Vince McMahon square on the head and knocking him out cold.

"Man down, we got a man down!" one of the security guys said as they rallied around the fallen Chairman and carried him to the emergency room.

"Good riddens you Irish bastard," the President said disdainfully and Condi gave the journalists an apologetic smile.

"Sir we're live in 50 states," she said through her Colgate smile and the President stared blanking into the TV camera.

"Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls of America, I am here to address the demonic promotion that is World Wide Wrestling Entertainment," he began.

"Sir that's WWE, not WWWE," Condi reminded him.

"They dropped a Dubya?" The President said and Condi glared at him impatiently and said through gritted teeth.

"Yes they dropped a Dubya and added an E, it's the WWE - World Wrestling Entertainment," she told him. "The last time Vince McMahon was in the news he was being indicted for steroid abuse by my daddy's administration. Now he's turned his back on our nation and has hired terrorists to take out the country that made him the billionaire he is today," Condi continued and Bush took his mic back.

"Now that's exactly what I just said Condi why you always trying to make me look like a dumbass, you need to chill out and let Georgie boy do the talking from now on!" he said and the Secretary of State resisted the urge to tell the camera man to kill the feed, "America Vince McMahon is the devil and his so called professional women wrestlers are nothing more than a covenant of witches, which is why tonight my Armed Forces are gonna apprehend these women and burn them right here in front of the world to show Al Qaeda that we will not stand for terrorism at home or abroad!" The President explained passionately and the crowd of angry wrestling fans and general public got behind him, "Now I say we burn these bitches before dawn, who's with me?"

"YEAH!" the people roared and the WWE Superstars panicked as the security guards erected crucibles in front of the White House, the kind they used to persecute witches on in the 18th century.

"What in God's name are you doing?" Vince McMahon cried as the security forces shoved him and his family into the White House.

"I'm gonna do what my daddy should have done a long time ago, burn that trash filled brothel you call a wrestling promotion down to the ground, starting with your stupid divas," Dick Cheney said.

"We found one of 'em sir," said one of the agents bringing over Ashley Massaro.

"She'll burn real fast, string her up!" Cheney said.

"No wait I still got another three years on her contract!" Vince complained as the national security forces strung Ashley up on the crucible.

"Here's another one sir," another agent said bringing Krystal Marshall over much to Shelton's horror which Charlene noticed and tugged on his shirt until he noticed her.

"Don't worry we've got this," she said referring to herself and the other former Karate Kampers and Shelton frowned.

"What you gonna do shorty?" he said to the little black diva-in-training.

"She's gonna come home with me," said her father who had been to Bakersfield to pick up Charlotte's mother and father who were so worried by what they were seeing on television they asked him to fly them down to Florida where they helped out with the aftermath of Hurricane Aurora on the way to Washington, D.C.

"Daddy please let me stay I know how to stop Authority to Massacre, stop treating me like a little girl!" Charlene snapped.

"Honey you are a little girl and you will not be watching wrestling anymore!" her father said outraged, "It's nothing but a terrorist training camp!"

"Dad that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say," Charlene said, "Does Shelton Benjamin look like a terrorist? Weren't the Benjamins one of God's favorite tribes back in the Old Testament?"

Her father pulled out his Bible and started to read Judges 19:31, "So the children of Benjamin went out against the people . . . they began to strike down and kill some of the people in the highways and the fields," he quoted and Shelton swallowed nervously but Charlene told him to ignore the reference.

"Does it look like we're in a field or on a highway? What about when the Benjamins went to Shiloh and married virgins?" Charlene argued and Benjamin assured her father that he had no intention of marrying his eight year old child.

"Sir my only interest is in that beautiful sister up there," he said pointing to Krystal Marshall, "And if your daughter knows how to kill the witch I say let her do it and let my future wife live to see another day,"

Charlene's father looked over at the young woman being tied up on the crucible and started to remember what his wife told him before she killed herself and turned back to Shelton Benjamin.

"My wife always said "Don't judge me on where I've been, judge me on where I'm going," I'll allow you to save that woman's life Charlene, as long as when you and that fine black sister hook up Mr. Benjamin you do the right thing by her, do you understand what I'm saying to you boy?"

"You want me to ask Krystal to marry me - tonight?" Benjamin said confused.

"I see no reason why you should wait," Charlene's dad said.

"But I haven't even asked her out yet, she's gonna think I'm desperate or something," Shelton protested.

"Well my daughter is the only person that can save her and if you do the right thing, I'll tell Krystal you begged Charlene to save her life, women go nuts for romantic stuff like that," he said and Shelton was convinced.

"So how you guys gonna save Ashley, Krystal and . . . Maria?" Shelton said noticing CM Punk's girlfriend being strung up next to his future wife, "Where is that boyfriend of hers?" he wondered as sticks and stones were piled up high in a pyre by the angry mob that had gathered around the White House to burn the WWE Divas alive.

Back in Orlando, Florida:

Generation Next members CM Punk and his old friend Alex Shelley were having a debate over what to do with the video footage Paparazzi Productions had found of Edge and HBK in Vince McMahon's bathtub, well it wasn't much of a debate as Austin Starr, Samoa Joe and Homicide were trying to keep them both from killing each other.

"Come on guys knock it off let's talk this out stop it!" Joe said pulling Punk back and Austin finally backed Alex up so both men were on opposite sides of the Kevin Nash's living room. The Kings of Wrestling had gone out for steak and they expected a full report on Alex and Austin's findings over the past 48 hours. So far they had footage of the WWE Superstars smoking weed, covered in oil but most controversial of all was the footage nobody wanted to see again.

"I don't want that footage on Impact Shelley!" Punk demanded, "What John Cena did to Maria is not Sports Entertainment, it's not even entertainment it just plain sucks!"

"But she's gonna have another baby what does it matter if the world sees what a no good sonofabitch the current WWE Champion really is as long as you're still gonna be a father?" Shelley argued and Punk kicked at him angrily but Homicide held him down and told him to chill.

"Relax man come on think about what Alex is saying," Homicide explained, "If that tape gets out and you pretend you don't know that Maria's pregnant again, Cena will get booed stupid by all the women and children that love him and his stupid Chain Gang bullshit, don't let your pride get in the way of good business Punk, this stuff is gold!"

"Yeah and when the WWE fans find out their beloved Christian soldier HBK is a closet case, he'll lose that Christian demographic and get kicked out of the Church, his spot on the Wrestlemania 23 card has to go to the one and only Rated R Superstar and I am totally down with that, Edge is the man, if anyone should get to face The Rock at WrestleMania its him not the Heartbreak Kid!" Austin added and Joe and Homicide nodded, hoping Punk would see it from TNA's point of view and not the WWE's.

"Come on Phil, ROH is where you lost your wrestling virginity, why do you care about what happens to the Fed? No matter what happens you'll always have a place to go, look at me and Homicide, we made it in TNA but we never lost our ROH roots, you're so close to selling out you don't even know it man," Joe said and Punk balked at that statement.

"I did not sell out when I signed with the WWE, you guys know the only reason I went over there was to be with Maria," Punk said in his own defense.

"You think Maria cares if you wrestle for Vince, JJ or in the Ring of Honor? As long as she's with you who cares if the WWE goes out of business you still got the only thing that really matters in this life: friends and family," Homicide said and put his arms around Joe Alex and Austin, "So what's it gonna be Phil, we roll this footage on Monday right up against RAW or we don't and you continue to job out like a little punk in that hardcore abortion called ECW - the choice is yours,"

CM Punk shook his head and looked up at his best friends in the whole wrestling world; the choice was already made.

"I choose ma familia," he said and they all hugged it out while Konnan watched on from his wheelchair and wiped a tear from his eyes.

"Viva la raza!" he said emotionally and gave Hernandez a look of triumph as the big man shined up his .45 caliber and aimed it at a picture of John Cena and pulled the trigger getting the WWE Champ right between the eyes, it was just practice for Monday night when TNA went up against WWE for the first time, LAX were going to fire the first shot that would be heard all around the world in Los Angeles, CA.

Meanwhile back in Washington, D.C . . .

The WWE Superstars rioted against the national security guards to stop them from giving the signal to burn all the WWE Divas alive; Gillian, Kelly Kelly, Ariel and Cherry had also been found and were now tied up alongside Ashley, Krystal and Maria outside the White House.

"On my count, burn those witches down to the ground okay?" Dick Cheney said to the ravaging public full of Christians, angry housewifes and bigoted husbands who didn't believe girls should be allowed to go out after ten let alone wrestle in other words, they were all on LC's hit list. The lil' assassin in training climbed up on the crucible and Carla, Cameron, Charlene and Cassidy followed her.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Carla asked her cousin for like the 88th time, "I'm sorry LC but I got a big problem with what you're about to do, it just seems more like something the devil would tell you to do than Jesus Christ,"

"Jesus Christ said will you give it a rest?" LC replied as she wielded her axe above her head while the security guards tried to free the President from Umaga who was three seconds away from hitting him with a Samoan spike. They didn't even noticed the eight year-old kids about to deal with the witches embodying the WWE Divas themselves.

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!" came the unmistakable voice of The Rock who got out of the People's Limo and ran over to the crucible getting the attention of everyone on the Hill instantly.

"Rocky!" Charlotte cried and jumped up and down hysterically while Dan rolled his eyes wondering what she saw in him, "The same thing you see in Trish Stratus," she answered and Dan nodded.

"Touché," he said and ran over to The People's Champ, "You gotta get her down Rocky, Lisa's lost her mind she thinks she's a Helmsley,"

"What did you just say?" Rocky said taking the lil' assassin-in-training down as she swung wildly at his head, "You think you're Little H?" he asked her thinking how cute that was.

"I don't think, I know," LC said and The Rock knelt down to get a better look at her face; she had the same features, chisled jaw line cut out of ivory and blond hair and hazel eyes. Something else caught his attention and he removed her baseball cap and jumped back in horror.

"Jericho!" he said as LC blinked a third eye that was no just above her brow right in the middle of her forehead, "She's possessed!" he cried and tried to take the axe away from her but LC in a supernatural moment of strength monkey flipped The Rock back into the People and climbed back onto the crucible raisng her axe way above her head.

"Hunter, Shawn quit fooling around and get over here, these children are possessed!" Charlotte called out to DX who quickly came down to see what had happened.

"LC?" Hunter asked confused wondering why she had Ashley by the throat her axe raised like she was about to chop off the SD Diva's head, he went cold all of a sudden, real cold as the temperature began to plummet, "Oh no," he said and Shawn told him to snap out of it and get the Divas untied while the other wrestlers tried to hold off the crowd of anti-WWE mobsters.

But Hunter couldn't move he was frozen not by his daughter Aurora but with fear; he knew exactly what was going on and now was not the time for pretence, he had to tell everyone the truth about him and LC.

"Lisa get down here right now!" he demanded and the little assassin looked down at him disparagingly as everyone stopped to look at her including the President who wondered who gave her an axe to play with and walked down to the crucible the guards and media following him.

"Get off there LC, you're gonna fall!" Charlotte said, "Mom and Dad are on the way over and they're gonna flip out over your outrageous behavior over the past week!"

"Mom and Dad better get here quickly because I'm about to kill me a witch and I wouldn't want them to miss it, ready Shawn?" she said looking down at the Showstoppa and Hunter did a double take as HBK suddenly had long red hair and hazel eyes again, his pierced heart tattoo gone and replaced with an angry green monster.

"I'm ready, Ashley Massaro do you accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal Savior?" he asked the Playboy cover girl looking up at her from the pyre.

Ashley told him to go to Hell and Shawn gave LC a signal and she chopped off Ashley's head.

"ARGHHH!" the crowd screamed and Hunter grabbed Shawn and shook him back and forth thinking he was on drugs again but the Showstoppa was obeying the Anointed One, not Amy but Jesus Christ Himself who was after the demons not the Divas.

"Shawn's got his gift Hunter," Randy explained to the hysterical Cerebral Assassin.

"Randy what the Hell are you talking about now? Shawn just told LC to cut off a woman's head!" Hunter said furiously, "In front of the President, I know DX is all about being rebels but oh my God she just did it again!" he said as LC chopped off Krystal's head and then finally Maria's head.

"Murderer!" Stephanie McMahon screamed and Vince looked on in absolute despair thinking Shawn must have been on drugs again to do something like this.

"May God have mercy on your soul Shawn Michaels!" he yelled and told Bush to go ahead and open fire on HBK.

When the first bullet was shot it hit Shawn in the chest and fell to the ground on the other side of Shawn's body, the next one did the same and the hail of bullets that followed pierced Shawn's skin only to exit on the other side leaving him riddled with bullet holes but still standing. The People looked on in awe including the People's Champ as HBK removed his shirt and showed everyone the impossible: the bullet holes had disappeared it was like he had never been shot at once let alone over and over again and Hunter wanted an explanation which Randy was more than happy to give.

"Hunter, meet Shawn St. Michaels, the lord and personal savior of Anointed Amy, isn't he something?" Randy said in admiration of the new and improved HBK and Hunter couldn't believe what he just saw let alone heard.

"Shawn's a Saint?" he said and Randy nodded, "You mean like St. Paul?"

"You must have known there was something special about him after all these years," Carlito said.

"So LC's not possessed?" Hunter said and Carlito shook his head.

"Of course not, she's on our side remember?" he said.

"But she's got a third eye just like Jericho and he's the most demonic sonofabitch I ever met!" Hunter argued.

TKO and El Con Dios frowned, Randy looked at Hunter strangely and then up at LC and slowly he started to interpret what he was seeing, the Holy Spirit was trying to tell him something but he wasn't sure what it was, then he realized exactly what it was.

"Trish Stratus is not the sacrifice," he said and Carlito frowned.

"What do you mean I thought you saw the vision from God?" he said.

"No I saw a blond but it wasn't Trish it was . . ." Randy trailed off and his eyes went wide when the Holy Spirit revealed to him the destiny of LC and he grabbed Hunter and shook him furiously.

"Tell me this is the devil talking, tell me you are not LC's father?" he insisted and everyone stopped looking at the headless Divas on the crucible and started looking over at Randy and Hunter.

"Randy you're choking me!" Hunter protested but Randy was irate like his old self coming back to take out The Game one more time.

"Answer me Hunter, is LC your daughter yes or no?" he barked his eyes flaring up with Melina's Latina Heat.

"Hunter just tell him the truth!" Stephanie insisted not understanding why Hunter wasn't telling Randy off for being so stupid, "LC's not your daughter,"

Randy let go and turned to face Carlito, both turned to Shawn who had gotten LC down off of the crucible and were now looking over at Hunter who came towards them and stretched out his arms to Lisa who jumped into them and gave him a big hug.

"She is my daughter Randy," he said and Stephanie's heart almost burst out of her chest along with Charlotte's eyes at what she was seeing and hearing, "And Chyna's her mother,"

"Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit!" the People cried, George Bush, Condi Rice, The Rock and about 200 million viewers included. Only Stephanie McMahon said nothing but her silence was the only thing Hunter could hear.

"We got the paint!" Jeff Hardy said running over to DX, "Now what?" he said oblivious to what was going on and Matt slapped him around the head as Hunter stared at Shawn whose blond hair and pierced heart tattoo had returned; the only trace of Lita was her sense of Righteous Indignation which was about to go into overdrive. A timely destraction occurred when the three heads LC had removed from Ashley, Krystal and Maria started to melt along with their bodies which spontaneously combusted freeing the other Divas from the embodied spirits of Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha who were now burning in Hell while the spirits of Ashley, Krystal and Maria went into Nitro, Shelton and John Cena.

"Check it out I'm in Nitro!" Nitro said touching himself and looking back at his butt, "Melina you're one lucky woman," she said spanking Nitro's butt.

"Yeah well I'm in the body of the most athletically gifted wrestler in the entire WWE," Krystal bragged in Shelton's body.

"How the Hell am I gonna do the Kiss Cam now?" Maria wondered confused and looked down at the WWE Championship, spun the W in the middle and thought of an idea. She whipped out her cell phone, "Hey baby," she said as Punk answered, "Wanna wrestle later for the WWE Championship?"

Punk stared at the television set tuned to Fox News which was covering the entire situation at the White House including Triple H's confession, but it was the last 30 seconds that sent him to the bathroom where he threw up at the idea of making love to Maria in John Cena's body, the fact that LAX were planning to kill him on the red carpet on Monday night in LA wasn't sitting to well with him now either and he told his friends to hold off on the whole thing until he got over the fact that Maria was living inside the man he hated more than any other man on the planet.

"Where's ATM?" he asked and his friends looked at him blankly.

"You mean those Jesus freaks, no-one's seen them since they got kidnapped by those witches," Joe replied as Punk washed his face and rinsed out his mouth.

"Well the witches are dead and burning in Hell and I pray to God Melina's not down there with them, come on guys we're gonna find ATM and get Maria's out of John Cena's dumbass body!" Punk said running out the door until he got to the porch where the Kings of Wrestling were standing.

"Look what we've got here, CM Punk," Razor said sarcastically.

"You don't work for TNA," Jeff Jarrett said.

"Yeah you must be a spy, why aren't the rest of you kicking his ass!" Kevin Nash demanded and Alex stepped in front of his old ROH rival.

"Because he's our friend and we're going to help him no matter what company he works for," he said and Austin came over to him and got up in Big Sexy's unamused face.

"Yeah!" he added and Alex shoved him out of the way.

"You wanna leave TNA, go right ahead we won't get in your way," Nash said and Alex moved towards Konnan's lowrider when he felt a Big Sexy hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe just one more match," he said and the TNA roster emerged from the shadows and advanced on the ROH stars who were definitely not going to get out of Florida without some help.

And just like that help came.

"Chyna!" Kevin Nash cried staring at Sean's ex girlfriend who looked just as good now as she did then, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to reunite the Kliq, Sean and I think its time we put our petty differences aside and stopped screwing around with each other - literally," she said and Kevin smiled sarcastically.

"Oh yeah, you and what army?" Razor said throwing his toothpick at Joanie rudely but she responded with a smile.

"This one," she said moving back so the Kings of Wrestling could see TNA Knockouts Christie Hemme, So Cal Val, Gail Kim, Leticia, Tracy Brooks and Miss. Tennessee looking back at him.

"Combined with us, Samoa Joe, Generation Next and LAX, I'd say you're in big trouble Big Daddy," Sean Waltman said putting his arm around his old Kliq buddy cockily and the Kings of Wrestling pouted; this was not the type of T & A they were expecting.


	26. No More Fun and Games

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty Five - No More Fun and Games

Sunday Morning, Michaels' House, San Antonio, TX:

Rebecca stood on her porch eating a box of donuts thinking about the last two weeks, Stephanie and Hunter's home in Connecticut was destroyed thanks to Aurora Rose and now her home was destroyed because of Aurora Rose.

That little girl sure had a lot of beef for someone so young; she didn't want her parents fighting but she didn't want the Kliq to break up either, after watching the news last night Rebecca really knew the meaning of the word heartbreak as Stephanie McMahon's face folded up like an accordion on learning the truth about the little warrior princess who Hunter had taken such a shine to over the last 3 months.

"And I thought I had marital problems," Rebecca said to herself sugar coating her lips from the donut she just bit into.

On the journey home Rebecca had spoken to Chyna who had miraculously unfrozen just after midnight and she told Rebecca the secret that Hunter had kept from the Kliq for 7 years. Lisa Cornelius aka. LC was his daughter conceived in May of 1999 after Chyna was fired from the company, it turns out that Stephanie wanted her out not Hunter but what the billionaire princess didn't know was that Hunter wanted to marry Chyna and only changed his mind when Stephanie started putting the moves on him, being a McMahon was smarter financially and better in the long run for his career but his heart was not so sure as he gave Joanie Laurer a daughter that she gave up for adoption while she battled with depression brought on by post natal trauma and heartache.

Lisa Laurer was renamed Lisa Cornelius by two Evangelists from Bakersfield, California who wanted a child to keep their other child company, that child's name was Charlotte and she knew LC as her blood sister never as her adopted sister. Chyna never told Hunter about Lisa as far as he knew Chyna and Sean were an item and Aurora Rose was his first and only child until Vince contacted XPac and told him he wanted him to come back as part of the NWO with Shawn, Kevin and Scotty again in 2002 and not go to TNA, the rival upstart from the South.

Sean refused and he went to TNA anyway but before he went he said that he had something to show Mr. McMahon, what he showed Vince would change the Chairman's attitude to Hunter for the rest of his life but instead of crushing his daughter with the news that Hunter had an outside kid by Chyna his now ex-girlfriend, he turned against his son-in-law and took the tape and hid it in his video library for use only when Hunter stepped out of line.

Well not only did Hunter step over the line by reforming DX, he drew a new one when he destroyed Vince's Hummer limousine and convinced Stephanie to take his side over her own family and not wash her hands of Aurora and Hunter completely. Vince wanted nothing to do with Hunter after he saw what was on that tape, but his heart warmed to Aurora when he found out what awesome power she had and would be a great weapon of destruction to use against anyone who messed with her mother and those she loved, so if Stephanie didn't love Hunter anymore, there was nothing stopping Vince from finally getting rid of his God forsaken son-in-law.

Chris Jericho also knew what was on that tape as Chyna had confided in him the night she found out she was pregnant but told him not to say anything, but Jericho wanted everyone to know about it too then his dream of becoming a McMahon and marrying Stephanie could come true. And now the whole world knew Hunter's lil' secret and he would finally have to choose between the McMahons and the Kliq, Stephanie or Joanie, Aurora or Lisa, all eyes were now fixed on The Game and Rebecca didn't like it one bit, none of this was fair.

"What a crazy year this is turning out to be," Rebecca said to herself as she waited for Shawn, Hunter, Kevin, Sean, Scotty, Chyna, Tamara and the children to show up so they could all go to Cornerstone church and talk to the Pastor about what had been revealed in front of the world last night. Rebecca was in for quite a wait because the President wanted his plane cleaned up first.

Last night at the White House, Predicament Room, Washington D.C, after midnight:

The President demanded that Vince McMahon explain what on Earth was going on and since there was about to be a riot of fans, Christians and a generally outraged public outside the White House Bush decided to take the WWE Superstars somewhere a little more private, his home, which wasn't surrounded with nearly as much people as the White House. On the way to Crawford, TX in Air Force One Vince McMahon explained in detail what the WWE had gone through in the last two weeks.

"Hunter Hurst Helmsley is a no good sonofabitch and I want him dead!" he shouted dripping in paint.

"What about Shawn Michaels he threw paint at us!" Shane McMahon said rubbing the green paint out of his eyes.

"The only person that's going to die is you if you don't get that paint off my plane before church you feel me?" George Bush replied and Vince grimaced at Cryme Tyme and the Hardyz who kind of went nuts and threw paint all over every McMahon family member with a little help from the Showstoppa.

"Relax Mr. President my girlfriend is going to Iraq right now to get those Weapons of Mass Destruction you've spent the last five years looking for," Carlito said.

"You seeing that Canadian tramp in real life too?" The President said frowning in disapproval, "She's hardly a model citizen let alone an American what's she doing looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction when she's already got two of them on her chest?"

Carlito scowled and then coolly biting into an apple and stepping closer to the President he said, "I tell you one thing Mr. President, you disrespecting my girlfriend, the great Trish Stratus, that's not cool," he said and was about to spit in the President's face when Randy Orton pulled him back.

"What are you doing you're a servant of God you can't spit apple in the President's face?" he said.

"But he's gonna throw Cryme Tyme and the Hardyz in jail," Carlito argued.

"Who told you guys to throw paint all over the White House anyway?" Randy asked the colorful culprits who shifted their eyes to the far side of the plane where Triple H was sitting with LC all alone.

"Where's Shawn?" Carlito asked as the Showstoppa hadn't been seen for awhile.

"He's pretty mad, Edge is trying to calm him down," Randy replied and Shad and Jeff Hardy snickered, "Not like that," Randy said rolling his eyes, "Come on let's go talk to him,"

TKO, El Con Dios, the Hardys and Cryme Tyme walked down to the back of Air Force One where Edge was combing Shawn's hair which wasn't helping Shawn calm down at all.

"Will you stop!" he snapped but Edge wouldn't let him go, Shawn unwrapped the Canadian's arms from around his waist and stood to his bare feet, "I am so mad Edge I think I might kill him," he said his eyes a mix of blue, hazel and absolute fury.

"Shawn he didn't know until a few hours ago that LC was his daughter," Edge explained.

"I know that's not what I'm mad about babe - I mean Adam," Shawn said as Cryme Tyme started laughing, "Do you guys mind I'm trying to have a conversation with my boyfr- I mean my eternal soul-mate's fiancé okay and you're getting on my nerves,"

"Dude you're the only who threw paint all over the McMahons did you mean to get Linda aswell she's green as a bean!" JTG said.

"The paint kind of bounced off Aurora and Stephanie but I think the deep freeze coming from them caused that," Jeff Hardy said.

"She has every right to be mad, Hunter has another daughter by a woman she hates more than life itself," Carlito said, "This is not cool guys,"

"Yeah I think we should go get them all together and talk this thing out before-" Shad started but he was interrupted by the sound of children screaming. They all ran to see what the commotion was and saw Vince and Shane McMahon being attacked by Triple H and LC.

"Secret service get these men apart!" The President said and his security guards separated the Helmsleys and the McMahons.

"Could you step back ma'am?" one of the guards said to Britney Spears who just wanted to protect her son from the fray and took him away from where Cheyenne, Cameron, Carla, Cassidy and Charlene were sitting.

"Will you guys stop fighting?" she said to both Hunter, LC, Vince and Shane, "You're teaching these children a very bad lesson like there's something wrong with having a step son or daughter, LC is the coolest kid on the planet so what if she has a different mother she can still be part of the McMahon family," Britney reasoned and the WWE Superstars and their friends applauded in agreement.

"No chance in Hell is that little hooligan becoming part of my family!" Stephanie McMahon roared her eyes ablaze with anger and she was still in shock over what had materialized in the past hour, "I should have known there was something wrong with her and now I know, she's a bitch just like her mother,"

"Oh no you didn't?" HBK said his voice higher than usual and TKO and El Con Dios couldn't help but laugh, "You are the High Priestess of Bitchdom, Joanie's got more class in her middle finger than you'll have in your entire life!"

"Shawn Michaels you of all people should be outraged, in the past two weeks you've seen my family be torn apart, then your own, how can you possibly defend Hunter's immortality?" Linda said her face stained with green paint.

"I didn't know she was pregnant Linda I swear!" Hunter pleaded and LC turned her nose up in disgust but she was not prepared for what happened next, nobody was.

"Oh my God!" Britney cried as Shawn spat in Hunter's face enraged by his gutless behavior.

"You make me sick," he said angrily and LC joined in and spat in Hunter's face as well.

"That makes two of us," she said and she climbed up on HBK's back and stuck her tongue out at Stephanie McMahon.

"What did I do why are you guys so mad at me?" Hunter asked following Shawn and LC to the back of the plane while wiping off his face with one of the Air Force One hand cloths.

"It appears you have a decision to make," TKO told him gently and Hunter frowned.

"What are you talking about Randall?" Hunter said trying to get to his daughter and his best friend who were still walking away from him.

"I'm not sure you understand the situation," Randy said and he was about to explain himself further when HBK pulled Hunter over to him by his long blond hair and Irish-whipped him into the expensive leather Air Force One seats.

"I'll explain it to him TKO," Shawn said handing LC back to her father who took her back lovingly until he saw Stephanie glaring at him from across the plane and gave her back to Shawn. LC didn't see Stephanie smile at that but Shawn did and he punched Hunter in the face.

"Ow my eye!" Hunter cried and took Shawn down to the ground and they started rolling back and forth until Shawn got too hot for Hunter to hold and he jumped back looking at his hands which were kind of burnt, "Hey no fair you're using Lita's powers to get back at me,"

"Her name is Amy and she's in Iraq right now trying to save our country with two other angelic beings and you're here messing up a little girl's life!" Shawn snapped and Hunter threw his arms up in frustration.

"I'm not gonna abandon LC because of Aurora, you heard Britney I can look after them both," Hunter explained and Shawn punched Hunter in the stomach causing his friend to keel over.

"Ten years on the road and all this time you haven't listened to a word I've said!" he snapped angrily, "I told you don't get so close to Stephanie she's not into you, I said stick with Chyna's she the one but no you just had to marry the boss' daughter and write your name in the McMahon book of life,"

"When are you gonna stop hating on me for marrying Stephanie?" Hunter said frustrated.

"As soon as you admit that you love Joanie," Shawn replied and Hunter looked down and LC frowned.

"Daddy?" she said and Hunter cried instantly; it was the first time she had ever called him that, "Don't you wanna see Mommy and ask her to marry you?"

Hunter breathed deeply and tried not to let the fact that Stephanie was still glaring at him psyche him out, "Listen to me LC, I haven't talked to your mother in a really long time there's a chance she may never want to see me again, Shawn back off!" Hunter said as his best friend went to punch him again.

"I never thought I could hate you as much as I do right now Hunter," he said angrily, "You know she still loves you would it kill you to admit you feel the same way about her?"

"Shawn listen to what you're saying, you want me to break Stephanie's heart when she deserves happiness just as much as Chyna does and I thought she was happiest with Sean that's why I didn't contact her after she left the WWF," Hunter explained.

"Chyna didn't leave the WWF, Stephanie fired her," Shawn corrected him, "And she was pregnant Hunter, she was pregnant with your first born child and now you wanna let her freeze to death in Florida so you can live it up with the McMahons in Connecticut with all the other rich bastards!" Shawn spat and the Hardyz and Cryme Tyme came over to him and tried to calm him down but it was no good, Shawn was irate and would always have Chyna's back over Stephanie's.

"Shawn I didn't know she was pregnant when we broke up," Hunter insisted.

"But you know now, you've been obsessed with Lisa for the past 6 months and now you know why and I was right, you should never have married Stephanie, your love for LC proves that Chyna was the one all along now let's do something about it!" Shawn insisted and Stephanie marched over to Shawn and slapped him around the face.

"You ain't gonna do nothing Shawn except retire because I've decided that you're in no condition to compete at WrestleMania 23," she said spitefully and Shawn's eyes narrowed with rage, "Your erratic behavior, the marriage problems, the drugs, you are not fit to compete for the WWE Championship against Rocky or anyone for that matter,"

"So what are you saying?" he said scowling at her his cheeks darkening and his blue grey eyes blazing with anger.

"I think you know what I'm saying," Stephanie said cockily.

"I wanna hear you say it," Shawn said gnashing his teeth, "Go on Stephanie say the words you've been dying to say since I reunited the Kliq five years ago, let me hear you say it come on!"

"With pleasure," Stephanie said with a wicked smile and then her face darkened and her eyes bubbled with rage, "Shawn Michaels . . . YOU'RE FIRED!" she said and everyone gasped.

"Stephanie leave him alone!" Britney cried concerned for Cameron, Cheyenne and the other children who had seen these adults fighting for the past week and were not learning about loving each other, "Come on you guys are wrestlers just settle this mess in the ring," she said and Hunter looked over at the blond bombshell intrigued.

"What do you mean in the ring?" Shawn asked.

"Bring Chyna back for one more match Mr. McMahon," Britney said to the boss, "It will be bigger than my Live Sex idea since the whole world knows she's the mother of Hunter's first child I say capitalize on it,"

Vince thought about it and Stephanie shook her head in disbelief, "No daddy I am not doing it," she insisted already aware of what her father was thinking.

"I think that's a brilliant idea!" Vince said imagining the ratings, "Chyna vs. Stephanie McMahon in the very first Who's Your Daddy? match and if Chyna wins she and LC get half of McMahon-Helmsley estate and Triple H will sign over his part of the McMahon-Helmsley inheritance back to me,"

"WHOA!" everyone cried in shock even Charlotte was impressed.

"But if I win," Stephanie added, "LC goes back to Bakersfield with her adopted family and she never ever sees Hunter or Aurora Rose again,"

The cheers turned to heated boos and a huge wave of paint went flying across Air Force One right into the billion dollar princess' face courtesy of HBK.

"SUCK IT you green haired witch!" he said and all the children laughed as Stephanie threw a hissey fit and ran to the President's private bathroom to clean up, or at least try to find her way there.

"LC you could be a billionaire princess!" Carla said in excitement and LC shrugged, she didn't care.

"All the money in the world won't make my heart stop breaking," she said and Charlotte gave her adopted sister a hug from deep inside knowing how easily her dreams of being a Helmsley could go up in smoke on Monday night if her mother didn't whoop Stephanie McMahon's ass and with Aurora in her corner, that' weren't gonna be easy. LC knew she was gonna have to help her mother out a little - or a lot, it was all or nothing and Lisa Cornelius was gonna take it all by force.


	27. Sunday Bloody Sunday

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty Six - Sunday Bloody Sunday

Back in San Antonio, Rebecca watched as her husband, her children and a gang of green men approached her doorstep, and no it wasn't the Spirit Squad, it was the McMahons and they were furiously walking towards her.

"Vince I know you're proud but aren't you taking your Irish heritage a little too far?" Rebecca said biting into her third donut of the morning as the WWE Superstars approached her thinking how hot she looked in her black hot pants and bikini top, a little too much for her husband who couldn't believe how she was dressed considering it was Sunday morning and he was about to tell her to go inside and put some clothes on when he realized that she was standing in front of a pile of rubble.

"Our home is gone!" he said pulling his long blond hair out like Edge, he couldn't believe it, "What did you do you witch?" he said to his wife and she gasped, Shawn had never spoken to her like that and it was a shock to the system.

"I don't think you should be calling me names after what you did with Edge in Hunter and Stephanie's tour bus," she retorted and HBK rolled his eyes.

"What did he do in my tour bus?" Hunter asked LC on his shoulders resting her head sleeping in his long blond mane.

"He was hugging Edge, for a long time! I saw the whole thing on Alex Shelley's web cam," Rebecca told him and Hunter felt like he was gonna throw up.

"I feel like I'm gonna throw up," he said and looked up at Shawn angrily, "No more hanging out with Lita's future husband!"

"How mean - I mean whatever Hunter, it wasn't me it was Lita, she's a very emotional woman only unlike you Rebecca, she only likes the touch of her boyfriend not their best friends," Shawn said to Rebecca spitefully and both Rebecca and Hunter burst out laughing.

"Are you laughing at the same thing I'm laughing at?" Rebecca asked Hunter who nodded going red with laughter.

"I know he's so full of crap," Hunter said pointing to Shawn who was starting to get hot and bothered, "He won't admit to being even the slightest bit gay because his god will punish him, so he has to substitute me for Edge and blame his true gay feelings on Lita's libido,"

"I'm not gay for Edge or anybody okay?" Shawn insisted stamping his feet angrily and whipping his now autumn red hair over she shoulder in a very seductive way, at least to Edge who was salivating over him wishing he would just turn into Lita completely so he could bury himself inside her arms again.

"Calm down Edge, you're not gay either you're just extremely turned on," Edge told himself trying to picture himself making love to Lita when she finally came back from Iraq, "I miss you baby." he thought closing his eyes and running his fingers over his lips amorously much to the amusement of the WWE Superstars who looked on laughing at Edge started to dance with Shawn not even realizing HBK was back to normal. When he opened his eyes and saw the blue-grey orbs staring back at him in irritation he quickly straightened up and apologized, "Sorry Shawn I just miss Amy so much,"

Shawn couldn't help it he kissed Edge, mostly because Lita was making him and it wasn't just a peck she wanted either.

"Shawn!" Vince McMahon cried breaking the two former WWE Champions apart, "Good Lord you are gay and to think of all those years I defended you to Bret Hart,"

"He's not gay boss he's feeling Lita, they're incommunicado," Carlito explained and the McMahons frowned.

"They're in what?" Shane asked confused.

"They're combined, Lita's expressing her feelings for Edge and Shawn's expressing his feelings for Lita through Edge," Randy explained and covered his mouth when he realized what he just said and quickly revised his statement, "I mean Shawn is a vessel for Lita's feelings towards Edge that's all, there's nothing going on between Edge and Shawn, HBK is not gay, sorry Hunter,"

"What are you telling me for I don't care," Hunter said and Shawn broke away from Edge on hearing that despite Edge pulling him back in for a second round of kissing.

"Pray for him Jesus," LC said closing her eyes but Rebecca was way ahead of her and called Pastor Hagee and told him her husband was kissing a man.

"I'll be there right away," the Pastor said grabbing his Bible and jumping out the door down to the Michaels' household which wasn't that far from Cornerstone church.

Rebecca waved at Cameron who was scowling at her, "Love you too baby," she said and looked down at Cheyenne who was sleeping in Charlotte's arms, she walked over to her and kissed her on the head and gave Charlotte a small smile, "So LC's not your sister after all, pretty harsh huh, I mean who would have thought she was a Helmsley for true,"

"She is not a Helmsley!" Stephanie shouted waking LC up with her bitter voice.

"Hey I'm trying to sleep here!" LC snapped climbing off her father's bear like back and yawning like Simba in the Lion King. She looked like a baby lion with her long blond mane cascading down her back and her strong features identical to Hunter's, except for the nose, that was all Trips her's was normal. Rebecca picked her up and kissed her causing the li'l assassin to wipe her face fervently displeased, "Shouldn't you be kissing your own children?" she said.

"My children hate me," Rebecca answered and looked down at the parts of furniture and memorabilia that had adorned her house walls for the past 7 years and were destroyed just like her marriage forever, "It truly is a new beginning for the McMahon-Helmsely era isn't it?" she said to Hunter who was still trying to get the image of Shawn and Edge hugging out of his head and Rebecca picked up on it and called him on it, "I'm telling you Hunter if you wanna go gay, don't start with him," she said nodding towards her husband who was more beautiful each time she saw him but it was only because he had Lita running wild inside him and knowing that added fuel to Rebecca's indignation.

"Hunter take your daughter, I've got some unfinished business with the Queen of the Mountain over here," Shawn said and LC jumped over to Hunter much to Stephanie's anger while Rebecca got up in Shawn's face.

"You gonna do something?" she said not intimidated by his fiery eyes which were more hazel than blue right now, "Go on I know you want to hit me so give me your best shot!"

Shawn shook his head, "I don't hit women," he said, "Lita on the other hand has made a career of slapping bitches around,"

"Shawn don't put one hand on her!" came the stern voice of Kevin Nash, followed by Scott Hall, XPac, Jeff Jarrett, Tamara Nash, Christie Hemme, Gail Kim and the woman of the hour, Chyna.

"Joanie," Hunter said as Chyna came into full view looking more like a ghost than a human being; her skin was pale and her green eyes a light mint and her hair was black like charcoal.

"I see Lisa got all of your features," she said coming over to everyone who were just as shocked to see her as Hunter was after all these years she was still phenomenally attractive, "Hey Hunter, hey Lisa mommy missed you so much," she said her eyes tearing up and Charlotte couldn't believe it.

"Hold on time out, I need to see this videotape," she said stepping inbetween LC and Chyna, LC was staring at Chyna trying to get a familiar vibe from her but there was nothing and she questioned whether or not she really was her mother after all.

"I know what you're thinking Charlotte," Joanie said to Charlotte who balked at the mention of her name as she looked over everyone individually, "Hey Dan, Brandon, Cassidy and you must be Carla," she said bending down to get a proper look at the Canadian blond rescued from murderous parents by Trish Stratus.

"How did you know who we all were?" Brandon asked curiously in awe of the only female member of DX who was taller than he was.

"I never stopped lost track of you when I gave LC up for adoption, I wanted to make sure she was in good hands and obviously I was right to do what I did, only that was then this is now and I want back what is rightfully mine," Joanie said glaring at Stephanie McMahon who was about to explode much to Vince McMahon's horror, "I knew Hunter had a thing for green eyed girls but you didn't have to go nuts with the DX colors Steph, you can cover yourself head to toe in green and it won't change the fact that you stole Hunter from me because you knew I was the one he loved not you!"

"Here we go," Shawn said as Stephanie lunged for Joanie and he stepped in between them, "Wait Joanie Britney Spears has an idea,"

Joanie frowned at the Showstoppa and checked his eyes to see if he was high and looked over at the pop Diva holding her little boy like he was her only possession, "You hanging out with pop tarts now Shawnie? Well I guess that's better than letting Edge have his way with you,"

Everyone laughed at that comment much to HBK's chagrin, "I am not gay for Edge and I'm sick of having to defend my sexuality I am a chick magnet!" he insisted.

"I think you mean dude magnet," Kevin Nash retorted and Shawn superkicked him in the face which still had a smile on it when he hit the ground. Scott Hall helped Big Kev back up.

"Shawn that was not right, we're supposed to be friends Joanie wants to reunite the Kliq you're not being very brotherly," Scott said and Shawn's jaw dropped.

"Are you high Scott? You've been double-teaming my wife for the past two weeks and you say I'm not brotherly? You betrayed me all of you! I wanted the Kliq to live forever and you killed it with your nasty sex and perverted Rebecca to the point where she needs three men to satisfy her at once, good job guys I hope you're very proud of yourselves,"

"Yeah we are, we gave Rebecca the best sex of her entire life," Double J added and Kevin and Scotty turned to him suspiciously, "What I got some?" he said.

"No you didn't you just sat there and played cards with Sean," Kevin Nash said.

"Well if you weren't so controlling maybe I would have gotten some," Double J complained and smiled at Shawn, "I mean who wouldn't want some of that, you're wife is one fine looking piece of-"

That was all JJ could get out Shawn punctuated his sentence with his Sweet Chin Music and then turned to his wife scornfully.

"So you had sex with Kevin and Scotty, not Jarrett?" he asked her.

"Why does it matter, I'm still a whore right?" she replied bitterly.

"Well that's a given tell me you at least used protection, I don't want you giving birth to no-one's child except mine," Shawn said and Hunter dragged him up by his shirt collar.

"You got something to say to me you say it now!" Hunter said angrily at the remark HBK just made scaring everyone with his ferocious strength.

"Fine," Shawn said his feet dangling in the air, "If you don't marry Chyna that makes LC an outside kid and if she's an outside kid that makes her a bastard and there are no illegitimate children allowed in the Kliq, it's in the bylaws,"

"You wrote those stupid bylaws while snorting cocaine," Hunter said.

"And reading the Bible, I remember the verse specifically Malachi 4:6 "And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse," That means this is the day you have to choose between Stephanie and Joanie and if you listened to me in the first place you wouldn't be trying to kill me right now," Shawn said coolly and Hunter dropped him to the floor and turned to Stephanie.

"He's right, he's an arrogant Bible-bashing dork but he's right, I gotta marry Chyna," Hunter said and Stephanie went ballistic.

"No I won't let you go, you're my husband and this is your daughter we're a family you don't owe Chyna and this bastard daughter of hers anything except maybe a few tickets to Wrestlemania 23, that's April 1 in Detroit if you wanna catch it Joanie, I'm sure we can find a place for you way up in the back," Stephanie said cruelly to Joanie and LC picked up a piece of splintered wood from the pile of rubble they were all standing in and went to strike her with it but Joanie took the wood from her and smiled.

"No Stephanie that won't be necessary, I've decided to accept your challenge for a match on Monday Night RAW and to the winner goes the spoils," Chyna replied tapping the wooden plank across her hand menacingly, "That means LC, Hunter and half the McMahon-Helmsely estate will be mine tomorrow night and you'll have no choice but to watch the Kliq reform in front of your beautiful eyes,"

LC smiled knowing instantly that this Amazonian woman was definitely without a doubt her mother and she couldn't have been happier. She reached up and Chyna pulled her into a hug, "Don't ever leave me again mom," she said as Joanie kissed her head.

"I promise I'll never leave you," she said and picked up her daughter and turned to her baby's daddy, "What do you say Hunter, wanna be my boo?" she said and Hunter couldn't help but smile, it wasn't until the cold stare of his daughter caught his eye that he knew that it wasn't going to be a simple as that.

"Well look at this, it's like poetry in motion DX reunited right here in San Antonio, TX!" came the ever obnoxious voice of Chris Jericho followed by Christian who was wondering why Edge was checking out HBK and slapped him around the head.

"Who are you marrying in two weeks Shawn or Lita?" he asked his best friend and Edge shook his head confused; he didn't know anymore he was involved with them both now he couldn't stop staring at Shawn and the Showstoppa was completely unaware of it. He had to talk to Lita face-to-face and find out when ATM were coming back, if things continued he was gonna make Shawn's life even more complicated than it was already.

"So Stephanie do you still think Hunter's the loyal and faithful man you married?" Jericho asked his biggest fan, his third eye now gone and his eyes back to normal.

"He didn't know Joanie was pregnant, this whole thing is just a stunt to get back at me for being the woman he chose over you!" Stephanie replied bitterly and Shawn's eyes widened all of a sudden.

"Are you kidding me, no way Lita no way!" he said listening to Anointed Amy's latest from Trish Stratus, "Can I tell her please, no I don't wanna wait til you get back I want to wipe that smirk off her face right now, what do you mean The Truth said no she's not the boss of me!"

This dual conversation went on for a while until Hunter couldn't take it anymore and slapped HBK around the head, "Tell us what Trish said or I'm gonna drown you in that lake we were gonna baptize Orton in," he threatened him and Shawn stuck his tongue out at him cheekily, it was Lita of course Shawn would have slapped him for that.

"She said mind your own business - Jericho I can't believe you got Chyna pregnant too - oops!" Shawn said covering his mouth and Stephanie's eyes widened along with everyone else's.

"You had two babies?" Hunter asked Chyna who nodded with a laugh.

"And you both abandoned me how lucky was I to get fired, knocked up and abandoned by two Undisputed Champions in the same year!" she said sarcastically and Shawn hugged her sympathetically.

"Oh so what's wrong with hugging me?" Rebecca asked defiantly, "How's what Joanie did any different from what I did?"

"It's completely different Rebecca, Joanie was an innocent victim in all this you went out of your way to hurt me!" Shawn replied and Rebecca lowered her head in shame.

"You're right I did and I'm sorry," she said and everyone laughed, "No I really am sorry Shawn, I just couldn't stand being your wife any longer,"

"Great thanks for the info maybe next time you could just send me an email or maybe text me that message instead of sleeping with my best friends down in Florida," Shawn said sarcastically and Rebecca nodded.

"Yeah I'm such a drama queen I went all out to hurt you, but I don't want to be your wife anymore, I want to be free to make my own decisions I'm sick of looking after you while you live your dreams, I want to live my dreams too," Rebecca explained.

"I thought being my wife was your dream," Shawn said bitterly and Rebecca stroked his saddened face.

"Yes it was but not anymore," she said, "Let me go Shawn, you're not my true love see that tall drink of water over there? He maybe a no good bastard but he's not making me into something I'm not,"

"So you're saying you are a ho?" Shad from Cryme Tyme asked.

"Yeah I need clarification on this whole thing," JTG added.

"You guys said it I'm one hot looking diva and I can't be the sexual creature I am with this ring on my finger," she said pulling off her wedding band and putting it in HBK's hand and closing it in there, "Get out of here Shawn before its too late," she said and HBK frowned.

"What do you mean where am I supposed to go?" Shawn said looking around at his destroyed ranch anxiously.

"That's for you to find out Michael, I can't hold your hand anymore baby its time you to fly now go!" she said pushing him back and Shawn pushed her back and she fell on the ground.

"I can't do it!" Shawn snapped, "I need you!"

"No you don't you've got us!" Chyna told him and he turned around to her shocked as she brought him over to her and spoke to him quietly, "If I win the match against Stephanie on Monday Night RAW, it will be just like old times; you, me and Hunter rolling with Cameron, Cheyenne, Lisa and Carla, we'll be a family again, isn't that what want a family you love and who loves you back?" she explained and Shawn furrowed his brow.

"Wait-a-minute I thought LC was you're daughter why'd you say Carla?" Shawn asked her confused.

"Well that child I gave up kind of had a sister, in fact they were twins, Carla is my daughter too," Chyna explained.

"What?" LC cried on HBK's shoulders listening in on the whole conversation and falling off in shock reaching for Carla and shaking her hysterically, "You're my sister, Carla you're my real sister!" she said jumping up and down causing the Canadian to frown in confusion.

"Yeah I don't get it either why don't you explain it to all of us Joanie," HBK said turning around to his friends and family who were wondering what was going on.

"Allow me to explain to everybody exactly what went down on my RAW debut," Jericho said standing like a rock star in the middle of everyone and Christian rolled his eyes and stood in front of him.

"Jericho and Chyna got busy the night he debuted and she got pregnant," he said, "Stephanie found out and asked Vince McMahon to release her but he wouldn't because she was such a huge draw at the time and he wanted her to face Trish Stratus and help her blend in with the locker room,"

"You were pregnant that whole time?" Shane asked Chyna who nodded, "But how did you keep it a secret the camera was on you 24/7?"

"Remember back then Hunter knew how Stephanie felt about Jericho and he thought she would use my pregnancy as an excuse to get rid of me, so he found me this steroid that concealed fat tissue, by Christmas you couldn't even tell I was six months along plus with my rigorous workout I was burning more fat than I was feeding Carla. I had her and gave her up not wanting Jericho to get in trouble for getting one of the top divas knocked up and he arranged for her to be adopted by a nice Canadian family in Toronto," Joanie explained.

"That turned out to be murderers," Carla said bitterly.

"Yeah way-to-find a good adoptive family Y2J," Charlotte said angrily.

"I think it all worked out in the end," Chyna said smiling at Carla, "If Jericho left the WWF to raise Carla with me, he would never have become the first Undisputed Champion and I never would have main evented Wrestlemania 17 and made our mark on wrestling history,"

Carla kicked Y2J in the shins, "If you ask me children are more important than some stupid belt!" she said and ran off down to the lake and Cameron ran after her.

"Kids they just don't understand this business," Jericho said, "Nothing comes before winning the Undisputed Championship, not even family right Steph?" he asked the billionaire princess who was imagining Chyna's face smeared across a bloody canvas in 24 hours, "What do you say princess, wanna be with your true love instead of this fake ass husband of yours?"

Stephanie looked between Hunter and Jericho and realized she had as much to lose as she did to gain by wrestling Chyna on Monday and thought of a stipulation to add to the match, "You know something Jericho you're right, the past month has been Hell because of ATM and The Truth's revealation about eternal soul mates. Edge is Christian's, Shawn is Lita's and Hunter is yours, who am I supposed to be with in Heaven? I have no idea and I'll be sure to ask Trish went she gets back from Iraq but for now the only man I want to be with is holding another woman's baby. This is not starting out to be the 2007 I thought it would be but after I beat your ass like the dog that you are Joanie Laurer my year is gonna get a helluva lot better, especially since now not only will tomorrow night be the last time I have to see that brat from Hell daughter of yours, but I'll have the honor of ending Degeneration X for good!"

Hunter frowned, "What do you mean that was never agreed you just keep saying that it ain't gonna happen," he said and Stephanie smirked at him with her hands arrogantly on her hips.

"Oh yes it will because if DX doesn't disband after I beat Chyna, I'm divorcing you and marrying Chris Jericho, Aurora won't like it but as long as I'm happy that's all that matters," Stephanie said and Hunter felt like he was having a nightmare, this was not happening but HBK couldn't have been happier.

"Deal!" he cried and Hunter looked at him like he was crazy, "No Hunter we could finally get back to it just being you and me without the McMahons interfering, just you and me - isn't that what you've always wanted?" he asked stroking Hunter's face seductively and Edge pulled him to one side and told him off.

"That's enough Lita," he said as Shawn's hair flushed red and his eyes grew darker for a moment.

"Okay let me go!" he argued as Edge wrapped his arms around him and refused to let go and Hunter thought about this new stipulation even more; if Chyna lost, she'd be cut out of his life forever but if Stephanie lost, she'd be out of his life forever and so would Aurora, he looked over at Shawn and then back at Joanie and LC who were talking about girl stuff like which Divas they really wanted to beat up the most out of the WWE locker room.

"Where are the Divas anyway?" he thought looking around and not seeing any of them.

"We're over here!" Torrie Wilson said waving from the far end of Shawn's ranch along with Victoria, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Ariel, Cherry and Gillian Hall.

"Where the Hell have you been?" Vince McMahon demanded.

"Apologizing to the country from the President's house, we kind of went nuts back there and he wanted a full account of exactly what went down," Mickie James said.

"Okay what did you tell him?" the boss asked.

"We told him the truth, that Lita, Trish and Melina kidnapped us and turned us into evil witches with their magical powers," Victoria answered.

"What?" Carlito said in shock.

"That's not what happened!" Randy Orton said, "It was Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha that kidnapped you and turned you into witches not ATM,"

"Well that's not how we remembered it," Torrie said curling a lock of blond hair around her finger staring at Shawn Michaels curiously.

"Yeah we told Bush to go to Iraq and kill them on sight, he's put out a warrant for their arrest, they'll be dead by nightfall," Mickie James said with a psychotic laugh that was truly her own not the devil's and El Con Dios, TKO and St. Michaels couldn't believe it.

"You really are stupid," Cassidy said angrily and turned to her brother, "What are we gonna do now?" she said and Brandon looked at Miss. Taylor who looked over at Shawn and Rebecca.

"You guys know what to do," she said to the unhappily married couple who looked at each other confused, "This is the test Trish was talking about you passing or failing back in Florida Shawn, she explained that even though you and Rebecca aren't eternal soul mates you are still bound together as man and woman under God because you said for better or worse on your wedding day,"

"But that was a mistake!" Rebecca insisted.

"Yeah we should never have gotten married," Shawn added.

"You think that gives you the right to walk out of your agreement to love each other for life?" Miss. Taylor argued and Shawn ran his hand over his face in disbelief.

"You can't expect me stay with her after all she's put me through?" he asked Lita who wasn't answering, "Lita?" he called and Edge's heart beat increased and started thumping inside his chest like a machine gun.

"What's going on Shawn why isn't your hair staying red?" he asked the Showstoppa whose honey blond locks went back to normal land his blue-grey eyes returned along with his pierced heart tattoo.

"I'm sorry Edge," he said, "God wants me to do something I thought I could do but I can't,"

Shawn looked over at his wife who understood what he was saying and explained to Edge what Shawn meant, "He's saying he can't forgive me for what I've put him through therefore our covenant to stay married for ever is broken and so is his covenant with Lita,"

"So if you guys get divorced Lita dies is that what you're telling me?" Edge asked the Michaels and they went quiet. Randy Orton pulled the picture of Lita's funeral out of his pocket and showed it to Edge and everything made sense; the military setting, the American flag hanging high and HBK dressed in black looking down at a red head in a coffin.

"The Holy Spirit wouldn't let me understand what I was seeing because the time wasn't right, but it's time you understood what I finally know; Trish is not the sacrifice for finding the Weapons of Mass Destruction, Lita is the hair kinda threw me but her hair isn't red right now it's blond, she's the blond not Trish,"

"But she cheated on me with my best friends I can't trust Rebecca anymore!" Shawn pleaded.

"That's not good enough Shawn," Kevin Nash said, "I've cheated on my wife hundreds of times and she stayed with me for twenty years, all this time you thought you deserved better than the four of us well blow it out your ass choir boy cause the only way you're getting into Heaven is by forgiving Rebecca for her adulterous behavior,"

"Man that sucks," Tamara Nash said after low-blowing her cheating husband, "What you gonna do Shawn?" she asked as Nash keeled over in severe pain.

"Are you gonna let my fiancé die for a crime she didn't even commit?" Edge asked him tears running down his face.

"No of course not, after all I'm Shawn St. Michaels and I work for ATM not against them," Shawn said and Edge hugged him gratefully.

"Thank you Shawn you won't regret this - well you might at bedtime but for now just kiss and make up!" Edge said pushing Shawn over to his wife while Miss. Taylor pushed Rebecca over to him. Everyone watched as the married couple kissed, the WWE Superstars booed thinking Shawn was getting a RAW deal but Randy, Carlito and Edge cheered knowing that at least when he died, Shawn was getting into Heaven and so where they, whatever happened on Earth until then just didn't matter anymore.


	28. Funeral For a Friend

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Twenty Seven - Funeral for a Friend

522nd Infantry Regiment, South Baghdad, midnight:

The Sunni insurgents that had captured ATM brought Lita into a cave and uncovered her face.

"This is the one, she knows where we've been hiding the Weapons of Mass Destruction," a Sunni soldier said to his comrade who pulled Lita's hair back raising his hand high above his head and praying to someone called Allah.

Lita rolled her eyes, she couldn't wait for him to kill her, the war would be over in a minute.

The insurgent lowered his hand and cut Anointed Amy's across the neck spilling her blood which ran over her head staining her blond hair red. She clutched her throat as the men began to cheer in celebration of her "death" and waited for God to go to work.

"Why is she still alive?" one of the insurgents said to his comrade who stopping celebrating the death of another American soldier and stared in absolute horror as Lita's hair began to move seemingly of its own accord like giant flames lighting up the black hole they had pulled her into, after separating her from Melina and Trish who were watching the whole thing from the rock the Sunni insurgents had tied them to planning to kill them next. They were praying the whole time and try as they might by shouting at them the insurgents could not shut them up.

"Be quiet!" one of the insurgents yelled.

"SUCK IT!" Melina and Trish yelled then suddenly the cave lit up in a bright light burning like fire and then a massive fireball rushed over the insurgents burning them to a crisp while Trish and Melina remained protected.

"Save them Father for they know not what they do," they prayed as their bodies burned to ashes right in front of her. When they were all dead she walked back up to the surface and every insurgent on their way to destroy her burnt to death as soon as they came within 20ft of her.

"What is that?" one of them said from afar as a walking ball of fire moved across the horizon lighting up the midnight sky and destroying everything in its path.

Melina and Trish wriggled free and ran up to the surface following the bright light and watched as one of by one the insurgents fell, their weapons useless against the power of Anointed Amy.

Now most of the enemy was perishing at her feet, Lita raised her hands to the sky and declared the Word God spoken to her:

_"Behold, I have created the blacksmith_

Who blows the coals in the fire

Who brings forth an instrument for his work

And I have created the spoiler to destroy

No weapon formed against me shall prosper

And every tongue which rises against you in judgment

I shall condemn

This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord,

And their righteousness is from Me

Says the Lord_," - Isaiah 54:16-17_

This was the Word of God spoken for the damned before they reached Hell. The flames ceased and Lita's red hair was burnt to a cinder, as was her face and body, the only light was from her eyes as they burned with the passion of Christ that had consumed her heart for the last 24 hours in Iraq. She had done what the Lord called her to do, she had come with her sisters in Christ, found the Weapons of Mass Destruction and now Trish and Melina would return them to the President and bring victory to the United States of America and restore peace and civility among the Iraqi and American people forever.

She was not going to see the celebration because she was moments away from Heaven, Trish and Melina ran to her as she closed her eyes and just before she fell to the ground she said, "It is finished," and died right there on the battlefield in South Baghdad.

"No!" Melina cried and Trish quieted her but she was hysterical and tried to find Lita in the black dust that was raising up amongst the black plumes of smoke and gunfire that had exploded over their heads for the past day.

"She's alive Mel relax," Trish said, "grab that cannister," she said indicating the empty shell by Melina's feet. The Miraculous one picked it up and gave it to Trish who scrapped up the Amy's ashes and sealed it, "Pray with me Lina come on,"

Together the remaining members of ATM prayed for the safe return of the troops to their families as the 522nd Infantry arrived to take them back to the base ready to return to the United States and declare that the war in Iraq was over and soldier Amelie Dumant aka Amy Dumas better known by all as Lita gave her life for the USA and to arrange her military funeral right away.

"But she's not dead right?" Melina asked Trish as they rode back to base and The Truth hugged her sister in Christ lovingly.

"That all depends on her eternal soul mate," she said and Melina wondered what Trish was talking about but as usual she would just have to wait and see like their friends awaiting their immediate return over in San Antonio, TX.

Back in San Antonio . . .

Monday morning, news that the war in Iraq was over spread like wild fire, people were celebrating all over the world at the news that the Weapons of Mass Destruction were found and the troops were returning home for good.

There was no celebrating at Cornerstone church however, news of a rogue soldier by the name of Amelia Dumont which was obviously Amy's alias falling in battle pierced the heart of each and every WWE Superstar and wrestling fan all over the world. Edge hadn't said a word since the news broke and Shawn was trying to catch his breath after being chased by Pastor Hagee for the past twenty minutes.

The Pastor of Cornerstone church was certain HBK had a demon in him while he was praying that his faith in his marriage to Rebecca was restored Shawn cried out "SUCK IT!" scaring the congregation half to death and Shawn didn't even know why he said it, until blood started running down his face from the crown of his head and his skin started to burn.

All the Superstars and his family screamed but it was over before it began in a flash and suddenly HBK was back to normal, he couldn't feel Lita, he didn't even remember being mad at Rebecca. He felt this mighty release like he was elevating and he was, he was literally floating up towards the Heavens. It wasn't until Pastor Hagee told him to come down that his feet touched the altar and he came back down to Earth.

"What is wrong with you boy are you loco?" Pastor Hagee asked the Showstoppa who was smiling from ear to ear.

"No I'm fine Pastor I just saw Heaven and it is awesome!" Shawn told everybody, the whole of his neighborhood had clamored into the huge church to hear about the role the WWE Divas had played in Iraq and when they were going to be rewarded for finding the Weapons of Mass Destruction by the President who was on his way to San Antonio right now.

"You saw Heaven," the Pastor asked amazed, "What was it like?"

"It was beautiful, I saw Eddy, I saw Owen Hart . . . and I saw my place on the right side of throne but there was an empty seat next to it, I think that's where Amy is supposed to be but I didn't see her up there," Shawn explained as best he could but his friends and family were already rolling their eyes at him.

"Come on Shawn, get right," Shelton said but Edge stepped in front of Shawn and told him to finish.

"So you're saying Lita's still alive?" he said hopefully but Shawn shook his head sadly.

"I didn't see her up there Edge, that means she's probably horribly burned she's not gonna last long not under that amount of fire," he told her fiancé who shook his head in disbelief.

"You're wrong, she's got the Anointing to protect her from all that," Edge argued.

"I can't stand to see you like this," Shawn said moving away from Edge but the Rated R Superstar pulled him back and insisted he tell him why he thought Lita was dead, "Did you see how many insurgents there were on that road, there's no way she made it out of there looking the way she did when she went in, it's a war Edge not a beauty contest, most of those soldiers are scarred or maimed when they come home Lita won't be any different,"

Matt and Jeff buried their hands in their faces and Undertaker tried to comfort them but it was no use.

"I don't care how she looks Shawn, I just want her to live long enough for me to marry her before . . . " Edge trailed off but he had to show everyone that he really did love Lita no matter what her appearance, "When she does get to Heaven I want it to be as Mrs. Amy Copeland,"

Linda and Vince cried at that statement, so did everyone else.

"She was the sacrifice Edge," Randy said showing him the picture of Lita in her coffin with the military background and the American flag draping the casket, "You might be able to say goodbye to her before she dies she'd love to see you one last time,"

Rebecca came over to Edge and hugged him tightly, "I'm so sorry this has happened to you," she said knowing how much Edge loved Lita, "I hope you see her up there when you're time is up,"

"Wait-a-minute hold up," Randy said looking at the picture again and waved his hand across it, he gasped and dropped the picture to the floor then quickly picked it up before anyone could see it.

"What is it?" Edge asked curiously as Randy began to smile from ear to ear, Shawn knew whatever Randy saw had to be good, "Is Lita gonna live?" Edge asked excitedly.

"Can I talk to you a minute?" Randy said to Shawn escorting him to the side followed by El Con Dios who was wiping tears of joy away from his eyes after seeing Trish on the TV looking very much alive and he thanked God for bringing her home safe.

"She's alive isn't she?" Shawn said beaming as Randy nodded.

"Well that all depends on you Michaels," he answered, "Look," he said and showed St. Michaels the picture in his hand, Shawn's face went from bright to black in a matter of seconds.

"I can't do that I can't kiss Lita," he said, "I'm married kissing another woman is a breach in my marital contract,"

"But you have to, this is what you were destined to do Shawn! I've been looking at this picture since we first came to Orlando from your house, that was two weeks ago now it makes sense, your kiss is gonna bring Lita back to life!"

"I don't care I can't do it!" Shawn cried and El Con Dios frowned at his Christian brother confused.

"Why not?" he asked coolly and Shawn rolled his eyes.

"Would you want Rocky making out with Trish?" he said.

"No of course I wouldn't unless he could save her life, she's mi amor my true love and eternal soul mate, how could you not care about yours?" El Con Dios asked St. Michaels who ran his hand over his face in despair.

"Because kissing Lita would prove all along that Rebecca and Hunter were right, that I am in love with Lita when I'm not," he explained and Randy shook his head.

"But you are in love with Lita," he said and Shawn got hot.

"No I'm not," he said through gritted teeth.

"Shawn come on, hanging out with th Hardyz, substituting for Edge, flirting with Hunter that's all Lita it's exactly what she would do and you've been feeling her Anointed spirit for the past week and now you're actually her own personal lord and savior, you couldn't be more destined to be together if you tried," Randy argued.

"Randy that's crazy talk," Shawn said.

"Oh yeah? Well tell me I'm crazy when you bring her back to life," Randy replied and Shawn couldn't believe it, after all these years of trying not to kiss Lita it was his kiss that was gonna save her life.

"They're back!" Batista cried as Melina and Trish burst through the door.

"YEAH!" their friends and the entire congregation cheered but their cheers were soon cut short when the hurse carrying Lita's dead body pulled up outside the church.

The WWE Superstars came outside to see the military take Lita's coffin out of the hurse and bring it towards the building.

"Oh my God," Torrie Wilson said feeling guilty for pinning her possession on Lita and the other angelic members of ATM, "Trish, Melina can you ever forgive me? I told the President you were the ones responsible for possessing me, I didn't know you were being blackmailed by witches,"

"Torrie calm down, this is a funeral try to control yourself," Trish replied and Torrie hurried back into the church.

Melina shook her head at Trish disapprovingly, "That was mean,"

"I know I just don't like her," Trish replied walking into the church and catching sight of her Carribean beau, "El Con Dios," she sighed romantically as her boyfriend's beaming eyes danced all over the place and he wrapped her up in his arms and swung her around.

"You found the Weapons of Mass Destruction, I am so proud of you," Carlito said kissing her up and down her face, when her cap fell off he dropped her and fell back in shock, "You're bald!"

"I'm still incognito vato, it'll grow back now give me a little more of that sugar," Trish said seductively and that weren't no easy task considering she looked like a giant Sphinx cat.

"Hey you," Melina said to Johnny Nitro who drew his arms around his curvaceous wife.

"Hey you," Melina replied and gave her husband a kiss to show how much she missed him, he got the message loud and clear.

The President arrived moments afterwards and was followed by his administration and news people. He didn't recognize either Trish or Melina until Condelezza Rice pointed them out to him and told him who there were.

"You were the broads who found them Dubya MDs?" he asked Trish Stratus who nodded.

"But I'd much rather have my best friend back, Amy gave her life for her country she's the one who deserves the acclaim not me, I've got Carlito and that's all I want in life, my beautiful Caribbean sweetheart," she said kissing Carlito amorously and Con Dios was so caught up he forgot she was bald and kissed her deeply in front of the President who walked passed them and straight up to the altar where Vince and Linda McMahon were standing.

"I'm sorry I made fun of your wrestling promotion, you got some very special talent on your roster and the women are a lot tougher than they look, especially that one right there," Bush said looking down at the charred body of Amy Dumas, around which her mother and father were gathered with Edge, Matt and Jeff Hardy.

Vince wiped away a tear and Linda tried to pull it up but tears were staining her face too, she couldn't imagine losing Stephanie or Shane she had no idea what Mr. and Mrs. Dumas were going through right now but she knew they must have been very proud of her, the McMahons and the entire WWE roster certainly were.

"She gave her life in that ring and now she's given her life for her country, God bless you Lita, you deserve your place in Heaven," Linda McMahon said and Vince agreed, he had seen bravery but not like this ever from a person he had worked with over the last thirty years except maybe Shawn Michaels.

"Let's say goodbye to a friend," he said and Linda and her husband took their place at the front of the pew with Lita's friends and family and the entire world who wanted to witness the funeral of one of the greatest American heroes in wrestling history.

Shawn Michaels wasn't willing to say goodbye, he rose from his seat and walked towards the coffin and knelt down beside it.

"What is he doing?" The President asked Vince and Linda who were fed up with trying to explain HBK's erratic behavior over the past few weeks, Randy was more than willing to answer the President's question and he leaned over from the pew behind and showed the President the picture of Shawn kissing Lita.

"He's saving private Amy," Randy said and the President watched along with everyone else as Shawn kissed Lita's burnt lips like they were sugarcoated and didn't stop until she started to kiss him back. When her arm raised up and caressed his hair the congregation screamed in shock.

"Zombie!" Mr. Kennedy cried out.

"Demon!" MVP cried out.

"Hallejuiah!" Trish and Melina cried out as Lita regenerated, her skin was glowing and her hair was velvet red locks streaming down her back as she kissed HBK passionately in front of the whole world like it was Valentine's Day.

Pastor Hagee couldn't believe it, "We are witnessing the resurrection of Anointed Amy, soldier of Christ, sister of the church and the toughest Diva to ever wear an army helmet!" he declared, "Give the Lord praise!"

The congregation just stared back at him and he admonished them, "You call that praise?" Trish said, "Get up and give it up for the Lord!" she said like a Christian cheerleader and everybody got up and started singing the Lord's praises and Pastor Hagee rolled his eyes.

"Sure when I say praise the Lord you're all put out but when Trish Stratus says it you're all praise and worship, she doesn't even have any hair!" he complained.

"Yet she's still the hottest Diva on the planet," El Con Dios said and Nitro cleared his throat obnoxiously and pointed to his wife.

"You mean second hottest Diva on the planet," he said stroking Melina's sunkissed face adoringly, "Welcome back baby," he said and gave her a kiss.

Shawn and Lita began to rise and Trish quickly separated them, "Not yet, you've still got work to do here on Earth, ya'll won't be sitting at the right hand of the Lord for awhile so stop levitating already," she admonished them and they sighed.

"Fine," they both said at the same time.

"Wow Lita you're hair's blond," Shawn said noticing that Lita's long red locks were replaced with honey blond ones.

"You're hair's gone all red, what's up with that?" Lita said to Shawn who looked at his ponytail and saw that his hair was very red.

"What does this mean?" he asked Trish who told them what it meant.

"It means your soul mates dumbass, what's hers is yours and what's yours is hers in the Spirit Realm and in Heaven," she replied bluntly and then turned her attention to Edge and Rebecca who were scratching their heads trying to work out if they should be mad at their partners or ecstatic that Lita was alive and well.

"So where does this leave me?" Edge asked confused over what would amount to infidelity in the Bible.

"Back at square one no doubt," Rebecca sighed bitterly.

"Exactly," Trish agreed, "You two are gonna have to accept that even though Lita and Shawn are your lovers here on Earth, they are bound together in the Heavenlies for all eternity,"

"I'm cool with that, I've made out with both of them," Edge bragged cockily and Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"I have no interest in sleeping with either of them," she replied and walked over to the eternal soul mates of the hour, "I'm proud of you Lita, you are a true American hero and a badass wrestler too," she said to Lita then she turned to her husband, "As for you St. Michaels I'll see you later down the road sometime, I can't take this anymore I'm out,"

"Oh Rebecca?" Shawn called after his soon-to-be ex-wife as she took her seat, "I think I speak for the entire population of San Antonio TX when I say you can take this marriage and -"

"SUCK IT!" the congregation got up and cheered including the WWE Superstars much to Rebecca's horror and Lita's too.

"Shawn don't give up on her!" she told her soul mate but HBK's mind was made up, his dusted off his hands and told Rebecca he wanted a divorce.

"But I thought he had to stay married?" Lita asked Trish who shook her head while applauding Shawn's decision.

"He only had to stay married to save your life, now you're resurrected, he's made good on his part of the deal, now the Lord can release him from his covenant with Rebecca, Matthew 5:30 says a man has every right to divorce his wife on grounds of adultery,"

"But that's so sad," Melina said and Trish smiled over at TKO and El Con Dios who already knew that this was the best thing that could ever have happened to HBK, it was their job to make sure Lita saw it that way too.


	29. The Winner Takes It All

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

A/N: This chapter contains scenes of violence.

Twenty Eight - The Winner Takes It All

Monday Night RAW, Los Angeles, CA, Staples Center:

Tonights RAW was a very special occasion, President Bush made a special presentation to honor Lita, Trish and Melina for their efforts in Iraq and finding the Weapons of Mass Destruction. The award ceremony was intended to be at the White House but since RAW was already booked The President bended his diary and made it to the Staples Center for the show.

There were people outside cheering ATM as they arrived but there were even more people there to see the match between Stephanie McMahon and Chyna who was waiting in the women's locker room waiting for ATM to finish their speech in front of the President and the live audience. LC sat up on her lap while Chyna combed her hair, Charlotte invited her parents to the show and they all talked about the history between Joanie and their family.

"Well I guess its back to the drawing board," Charlotte said holding Dan's hand who kissed her on the head and told her not to worry.

"You should be happy that Lisa's with her real mother now and if Chyna wins her match, she'll be with her real father too," Dan said.

"What do you mean if?" Lisa said standing to her feet and walking over to her backpack, from which she pulled several interesting objects including a sledgehammer, an axe and a large plank of wood.

"Hey!" said Hacksaw Jim Duggan seeing the 2 by 4 and taking it away from the li'l assassin, "I was wondering where that went," he said gave everyone the thumbs up and then left after LC gave him the finger.

"Lisa don't swear try to be less like you're father and more like me," Chyna said getting to her feet and following after Jim Duggan who was unaware that she was behind him, when he turned around and saw her smiling at him she said, "Boo!" and he dropped the plank of wood and ran away. Chyna gave the plank back to LC who had also secured a bit of barb wire from Mick Foley and proceeded to wrap the 2 by 4 with it.

"I just need one more thing," she said admiring the barbed wire wood and Chyna was thinking she meant fire and went to get some kerosene from the storage room, "That's not gonna do anything mom, we're dealing with an angelic being here,"

Chyna frowned, "Stephanie McMahon's an angelic being?"

LC laughed and everyone joined in, "Of course not, I'm talking about Aurora she's got God given power over the weather, I need to anoint this oil before setting it on fire and the only person who can do that is sucking up to the President right now," LC replied referring to Anointed Amy who was just wrapping up her thank you speech.

"I am humbled and encouraged as I stand before my fans, my friends and my family tonight as a proud American," she said with Trish and Melina on either side of her, Trish dressed in Canadian colors, Melina in Puerto Rican colors while Amy stood in her combat shorts, ripped tank top and knee high army boots, blond like Torrie Wilson, with just a strand of red to show her Lita colors which Jeff had dyed for her and an Old Glory bandana over her head, "And even though I may no longer be a wrestler, I will fight for you, I will fight for your children and I Anointed Amy with The Truth Trish Stratus and Melina the Miraculous will fight for the world and spread the Gospel wherever we go. Thank you for this honor and God bless America!"

The audience in attendance, those watching at home and their friends and family and crew members in the back broke out into a massive "USA!" chant, the President gave Lita a medal of honor and saluted her, he gave Trish a kiss and Melina a wink and handed all three Divas a bouquet of flowers from the Ambassadors of Canada and Puerto Rico.

Nitro and Carlito watched through teary eyes as ATM were celebrated worldwide and HBK blew them a kiss while Jeff finished streaking his hair.

"There you go," he said and Shawn surveyed the damage in the mirror while Hunter paced the men's locker room.

"What do you think Hunter?" he asked his best friend who was preoccupied with far more important things, "Hello?" Shawn called and stamped his foot when Hunter didn't turn around to look at him, he finally stormed over to him, "Will you look at me for a minute?"

"What for you look great you always look great why are you on me?" Hunter retaliated.

"Because you haven't even explained why you didn't come to Lita's funeral this morning!" Shawn shouted back.

"I was busy, Stephanie wanted me for something," Hunter replied into his chest and Shawn raised his head up to meet his eyes which were sparkling blue like the Atlantic.

"Did she talk you into staying with her?" he asked firmly and Hunter sighed and Shawn got hot and walked back over to the Hardyz who were soon leaving for their match against MNM, "I'll come out with you guys is that okay?" he asked Matt and Jeff and they nodded enthusiastically.

"That's alright with us," Matt said and Hunter dragged Shawn back and kicked both Matt and Jeff out of the locker room and locked the door behind him.

"Well it's not alright with me," he snapped and Shawn stared at him still waiting for him to explain where he was this morning.

"Lita dies and you're nowhere to be seen, I would like to believe that you were chilling with Chyna and LC but I know that couldn't be because they were with Becky and the kids when I got home," Shawn said.

"You mean the pile of bricks and shattered glass being disposed of right now?" Hunter said and Shawn glared at him, "You're home's destroyed and now you want to destroy mine, typical Shawn Michaels selfish 'til the end,"

"Don't you dare put this on me Hunter, I'm not the one who got Chyna pregnant then married the woman who had her fired!" Shawn snapped and Hunter huffed and Shawn decided then and there that they'd had enough drama for one lifetime, throwing hurtful accusations at each other was not what they were about. "I love you Hunter," he said and gave his best friend a kiss, "As a friend, as a brother and as family,"

Hunter wrapped a lock of Shawn's red hair around his finger playfully and smiled, "That's the greatest love of all," he said and Shawn shook his head and Hunter knew they were best pals again, "So this is how we end it before I'm out of your life forever," he said and Shawn's face went pale.

"What are you saying?" he asked his stomach about to turn if Hunter said what he hoped he'd never hear him say, ever.

"After Stephanie's match with Chyna she's gonna call me to the ring and ask me to announce my decision, whether I'm gonna stay with her and Aurora or leave with Chyna and LC and I've decided that I'm going to stay with Steph," Hunter said and Shawn broke out in tears and Hunter pulled him into his chest as he cried over his shoulder, "And of course that means DX is done, I'm sorry Shawn I didn't want it to come to this but I've come too far in this company to give it up for a woman I don't know anymore and her crazy ass daughter, I hope you can forgive me but since you're adamant on DX being together forever how about we go out with a bang?"

Shawn's face darkened and he pushed Hunter away with a wary grin, "You mean bastard you made that whole thing up!"

Hunter nodded with a shrug and Shawn shook his head in amazement. "I don't even know how to be serious Shawn you know that," he said. "How's things with you and Edge, still gay?"

"I don't even know how to act around Edge anymore, it's almost like he's a part of me, I know it's because Lita and I share a common bond, I just didn't know Edge would be such an important part of my life," Shawn said and Hunter listened with understanding, "Some things just aren't meant to be understood I guess and it's not gay!" he said.

"You do understand Shawn, you just don't know it yet," Hunter replied, "and since you're not gay could help me out with a little woman problem I'm having though, who should I choose, Chyna or Stephanie?"

Hunter ruffled his best friend's tidy hair until it was messy and Shawn laughed, "Come down to the ring with me and you'll find out, the match is next,"

Shawn took a deep breath, tonight was either the end of the McMahon-Helmsley era or the reunion of the Kliq and he hoped for LC's sake it was the latter.

"What was that for?" Hunter said after Shawn kissed him sweetly and he felt warm and fuzzy all of a sudden.

"That was from me and Amy, I can taste her on me and she tastes great," Shawn said thinking back to the kiss at Cornerstone church that brought Lita back to life, mesmerized by her beauty and the power she held over him and it was then that Hunter realized who would win the most if he stayed with Stephanie and accompanied his best friend in the world to the ring for the last time as a duo.

RAW Live:

It was main event time and the crowd was awaiting the arrival of the greatest Diva in WWE history and it wasn't Trish Stratus who was in the back with Lita and Melina making out with Carlito, Edge and Nitro, it was Chyna, her music hit and the fans went nuts. DX had already come down to the ring and were waiting for the first lady of DX to arrive, it already felt like old times and JR and the King were marking out like crazy.

JR: Oh my God it's Chyna, Chyna the 9th Wonder of the World here on Monday Night RAW!

KING: It's been almost 7 years since I've seen her and her two best friends.

JR: You mean Triple H and Shawn Michaels?

KING: No I mean boob number 1 and boob number 2, she looks amazing.

JR: She's got her work cut out for her tonight taking on Stephanie McMahon and her family.

KING: Speaking of which, here she comes!

Stephanie McMahon came down to the ring with Aurora Rose, Shane, Vince and Linda, this match was an attack on her whole family and she wasn't gonna lose Hunter to Chyna, not after everything they'd been through together.

"What are you doing in my ring?" she said into her microphone, "You don't work here Chyna!"

"If you want we can take this outside, I don't care where I am as long as I get to kick your ass!" Chyna replied and the DX fans cheered for her much to HBK's amusement but Hunter felt bad and tried to calm Stephanie down.

"Look honey we can work this out, just call off the match!" he said and the fans booed, "You wanna see my wife get her ass kicked?" Hunter asked the fans who cheered "YES!" and Hunter shook his head, "Come on she just had a baby she shouldn't even be here right now, call of the match and let's just talk about this like adults okay?"

Shawn snatched the mic and the fans cheered, "You sound more and more like the whiny Christian sidekick and I'm that guy!" HBK said and the fans laughed, "If you go back there with them, Chyna and I will wait here until you come back,"

"But the show's gonna end in twenty minutes we can't work this out in that little space of time?" Hunter argued and Shawn nodded.

"So ring the bell and start the match!" he said to the referee who rang the bell and Chyna ran down the ramp towards the billionaire princess who held Aurora up as the supernatural weather girl shook her rattle and it started to hail in the arena.

The fans started to leave then they heard a big voice from a little girl and turned to see the little warrior princess Lisa Cornelius Helmsley holding a barb wire wood high up in the air, "Don't go anywhere!" she yelled to everyone a mic at her mouth, "This match is just getting started!"

"Lisa do not hit my wife with that barb wire!" Hunter called out firmly and LC paused.

"But she's trying to hurt my mom!" LC said, "Don't you care about what happens to her, or me?" she asked and Hunter teared up and HBK rolled his eyes.

"Hunter, let me take care of this," he whispered and stepped out of the ring and skipped up to Stephanie.

"Don't come any closer!" Stephanie warned him and he smiled causing her to let her guard down and he kissed Aurora on the head, melting her icy skin and making her smile instead. The hail stopped and the fans applauded making wolf whistles at HBK who took Aurora and ran back to the ring with LC and Aurora while Chyna tossed Stephanie into the barricade and proceeded to beat the living crap out of her.

"What did you just do?" Hunter asked his sidekick who handed Aurora to him while LC attempted to get back up the ramp but Shawn held her back.

"I got the touch baby, Lita's anointing is still on my lips, I got it when I kissed her, now no one can resist my kisses," Shawn bragged and Hunter blushed.

"You're just a sexy boy aren't cha?" he said laughing as Shawn started to dance around and Chyna brought Stephanie into the ring and set her up for the Piledriver which she hit with a loud thud.

"1-2-3!" the fans counted and Chyna won the match.

JR: Oh my God King, Chyna just beat Stephanie McMahon!"

KING: She gets half the McMahon-Helmsley estate, she's a billionaire!

JR: What a night, what a night!

HBK raised Chyna's hand and Hunter gave her the Kliq salute, she couldn't believe it, he was hers again.

"Is this really happening, am I a billionaire?" she asked him amazed at what had happened and Hunter was about celebrate with her when the Y2J Countdown started out of nowhere silencing the fans and causing everyone to look up at the Titantron. When 10 seconds had passed and the pyro exploded Chris Jericho emerged at the top of the stage with a microphone in his hand.

"Sorry to interrupt your celebration Chyna I know this is a really big night for you but I think there's something all these Jericholics need to know," Jericho said and the fans started booing him fervently.

JR: What is he doing here I thought he was acting or something now?

KING: I heard they had enough extras on that sci-fi movie he was shooting and told him to go home.

"You see ladies and gentlemen, that little girl who bares a striking resemblance to Hunter Hurst Helmsely is not the only child Chyna had, she also had Y2J's first child and that little girl's name is Carla, come out here baby,"

Shawn, Hunter and LC's mouths dropped as Carla Cool came out of the curtain and stood next to Y2J.

"Now tell me Hunter what makes your daughter more important than mine? I think Carla is entitled to half that inheritance!" Jericho said.

"What!" Hunter said furiously, "She's not a Helmsley she's got a family Charlotte and Dan adopted her!"

"Not so fast Junior, Carla is a Helmsley," Jericho corrected him and removed his sunglasses taking a deep breath before making his huge Earth-shaking announcement, "And so am I, I'm your brother,"

"Bullshit, bullshit!" the fans yelled as DX laughed themselves stupid.

"Okay I'm not your brother but I had sex with Chyna the night after you did," Jericho said and Hunter and Shawn shook their heads, Chyna shrugged.

"He was much cuter back then," she told them.

"Carla is mine, Lisa is yours, somehow she got pregnant by both of us and gave both Carla and Lisa up for adoption, and since LC and Carla are sisters that entitles Carla to a share of the McMahon-Helmsley inheritance as well," Jericho said firmly.

"Sure no problem," Hunter said coolly, "as soon as you can prove that Carla is yours and not mine,"

"What?" Jericho said surprised.

"I ain't got no problem supporting Carla, come down her sweetie," Hunter called down to his other step-daughter but Carla wouldn't come.

"She doesn't want to live with you she wants to stay with me but I need money for toys and crap so I'd really appreciate it if you could help a brother out," Jericho said and the fans booed him relentlessly.

JR: What kind of low down piece of crap is Chris Jericho asking Hunter to support his own child?

KING: The King of Rock N' Rolla couldn't sink any lower!

"Tell me you didn't just say that Jericho?" Chyna said, "Look Carla is happy with her adoptive parents, she knows I love her and she understands why we had to give her up, she doesn't need toys she need love why can't you just give that to her I know I'm willing if you are?"

"So you're saying you wanna raise Carla with me?" Jericho asked, "Cause that would be a problem, I'm in love with someone else,"

"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa stop the madness!" came the unmistakable voice of The Rock and the fans went crazy when he showed up out of nowhere as usual, "You are one sick human being, you gonna come out here and tell the whole world that you don't care about this beautiful little Canadian chica unless Hunter pays you child support? What in the blue Hell is wrong with you?"

Jericho got hot as the fans started to call him an asshole, "You know how much I love Stephanie Rocky, don't try to embarrass me in front of all these American assclowns okay?"

The fans booed and Stephanie smiled in spite of herself and took the mic from Jericho, "Listen honey, you have called me a dirty, filthy, disgusting, bottom-feeding trash bag ho and humiliated me on more occasions than I care to remember but you can't stop calling me, even after my husband cost you your left eye,"

"Which has grown back now by the way," Jericho said with a wink and Stephanie slapped him around the face.

"I can't stand you!" she cried, "All you do is stalk me like some lost puppy looking for love why can't you just get over me Jerry? I'm not in love with you I'm in love with Hunter!"

"I told you time and time again princess, Hunter is only in love with one person - himself he doesn't care about you, Chyna or anybody else," Jericho insisted.

"That's where your wrong jackoff," Hunter said and turned to Shawn, Chyna and Lisa, "I am in love with someone other than myself, in fact there most important people in my life are right here in this ring and if you're not down with that Steph, Vince, Shane, Linda and Jericho, DX, Aurora, Lisa and LA have got two words for ya!"

"SUCK IT!" everyone cried and the fans applauded as Hunter kissed Chyna and hugged Shawn, LC and spun Aurora around in the air.

"That's fine Hunter you go ahead and you celebrate because as from this moment, Shawn is no longer main-eventing Wrestlemania 23, this guy is!" Vince said enraged and Edge's music hit and the Rated R Superstar came out much to everyone's surprise and eyed The Rock who cocked his eyebrow confused.

"Rock, take a look at your new opponent for Wrestlemania, the Rated R Superstar EDGE!" Vince announced and the fans booed heavily as Edge played up to the crowd.

"DX is done, how do you like them apples Chyna?" Stephanie said with a vengeful glint in her eye then Carlito's music hit and the fans cheered for the cool one as he came out with Trish Stratus and an apple.

"Bumping HBK for Edge at Wrestlemania 23 against The Rock? That's not cool," he said and the fans laughed but Vince was not amused.

"Oh it's not is it? Well you know what I think would be cool? You getting the Hell out of this building, you're suspended you little punk go home with your Canadian whore!" Vince said and the fans gasped in horror.

"Now hold on one second Vince," said the President getting into the ring from the front row where he Dick Cheney and Condoleezza Rice were enjoying the show, "This woman just found the Weapons of Mass Destruction and together with her friends ended the war in Iraq, you can't talk to her like that,"

The fans in attendance and all around the world agreed but Vince didn't care, "She's my employee and I can talk to her any damn way I please, this is my show!" he yelled and the President squared his jaw and loosened his tie and Shawn and Hunter covered their mouths in shock it looked like the President was gonna fight Vince!

"Wait-wait Mr. President before you do what Hunter and myself have been trying to do for the past ten years, you should know the only way to get back at Vince McMahon is to publicly humiliate him and I can think of no better way to do that but by having him join a very special club,"

Hunter and Chyna laughed along with LC who knew what club that was, the audience were also with it and laughed along with them.

"There's no way in Hell I'm kissing the President's ass," Vince said and George Dubya liked the sound of that and started to pull his pants down.

JR: OH MY GOD DX JUST MADE VINCE MCMAHON KISS THE PRESIDENT'S ASS!

King: Big Show's ass is looking pretty attractive right now isn't it - urgh!

JR: No King this is ten times better, ram it in there Shawn let him suffer the way he made DX suffer!

Break It Down hit and the fans went crazy as the President crotch chopped in line with HBK, HHH, Chyna and LC, even Aurora shook her rattle in time and Stephanie felt like the girl nobody invited to the dance. She turned to leave with her family as her father stumbled out of the ring into his wife and son's waiting arms.

"You okay princess?" Jericho asked her concerned and she switched around angrily.

"I am not a princess!" she said, "I'm the girl everybody hates," she said sadly and Jericho brushed his hand across her cheek lovingly.

"I love you Stephanie and everybody hates me too, doesn't that mean we're meant to be together?" he asked and Stephanie smiled thinking about it.

"I don't know, I have to talk to Rebecca she knows all about losing the love of her life, maybe she'll she'd some words of wisdom on this whole situation, where is she?"

"She's at home with Cameron and Cheyenne," Carla said dancing along with the DX music when suddenly it stopped and Melina screamed so loud everyone in the arena covered their ears. The Titantron went to a video clip of what appeared to be a shack and tied to a chair with a gag around her mouth was Britney Spears.

"Hey Shawn,"

It was Rebecca but she was off camera so you couldn't see her, but it was her no doubt, "I thought you'd like to have a look at my latest video, it's called "Kill me Baby One More Time!" and unlike Britney's entire career it will be unforgettable,"

The sound of children screaming could be heard in the background, it was Cameron, Cheyenne and what must have been Sean Preston Britney's son.

"You wanna embarrass me in front of the whole congregation and make me the whore of San Antonio so you can move on to the next poor bitch that has to put up with you? I don't think so Shawn, I don't think so, Britney Spears . . . say goodnight you stupid skank!"

The screen went blank and when it came back up Britney Spears was slumped over dead.

Lita ran out and grabbed Shawn dragging him to the back, "That wasn't Rebecca it was Abatha she's still alive!"

"But everyone thinks it's Rebecca I gotta get home and warn her!" Shawn said but Lita lowered her head, "What has she been arrested already?" he asked her.

"Miss. Taylor heard Britney screaming and called the police, when they found her she was covered in Britney's blood, Cameron tried to tell them she was possessed but they didn't listen, they shot her - she's dead," Lita explained and Shawn felt his heart rip from out of his chest and he couldn't stand up straight. Hunter and Chyna ran over to him as Lita held him up then he remembered Melina's powers.

"Wait Lita, Melina can just bring her back to life, she brought that girl back from the dead in Georgia, Melina!" he cried but Lita held him back and held her gaze ready to tell him the worst part of this tragedy.

"Rebecca left you a note, Trish wanted me to keep this from you until we got to Texas but I can't I have to tell you what she said," Lita said crying and Edge came over to console her but she shrugged him of, "Edge you're crowding me," she said irritated and he stormed off as the whole locker room came out to hear what Lita had to say, "Rebecca said she couldn't live without you and that she wanted to die, that was when Abatha possessed her body and made her kill Britney, but she was innocent Shawn she didn't kill Britney you have to believe that Rebecca was a good woman she just couldn't do what God asked her to do and that was to love you unconditionally but she's in Heaven now, look,"

Lita kissed Shawn and he saw Heaven and there was Rebecca sitting at the right hand of the throne with the King of Kings Jesus Christ. Lita pulled away from him and Shawn opened his eyes blinking the tears away but smiling through them at seeing his wife so happy in the Heavenlies, "I'll see her again right?" he asked Lita who looked over at Trish who came over to them and put her hand on Shawn's arm and said.

"Not for a long, long time," she said softly and signaled for Lita to say goodbye and leave with her right now, "We've got to get out of here now, Abatha's bringing Tabatha and Mabatha back from the dead as we speak, she wants to finish us off tonight,"

Lita snarled as Melina came out wiping the tears from her eyes furiously and they clasped hands as a team, "Let's end this nightmare once and for all," she said fiercely her eyes burning up and her hair burning brightly.

"You guys need a ride?" Undertaker said coming from behind and the angelic trio nodded.

"I got just the ride you need," Hunter said throwing Lita a set of keys to something called the ATM Machine and she looked up at Hunter questioningly, "Call it an early wedding present," he said with a smile and Randy looked at Trish warily.

"What's that about?" Batista asked Randy noticing the exchanged glances between them but TKO obeyed the Holy Spirit and kept his mouth shut while ATM left for the final showdown between Authority to Minister and Authority to Massacre in Downtown, LA.


	30. An Ode To Family

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

**_A/N: Poem written by LCHime _**

Chapter Twenty Nine - An Ode to Family

Hollywood Forever Cemetery, Downtown, L.A

ATM crept up on Abatha as she brought the charred bodies of Ashley, Krystal and Maria back to life taking the Playboy cover girl's body as her own. Lita couldn't believe how young this girl was she couldn't have been more than seventeen and the devil had taken her prisoner already.

"I can't save you if you don't come to Jesus," Lita told her patiently and Abatha gnashed her teeth.

"Tell Jesus to SUCK IT!" she spat and Trish had heard enough and took Lita and Melina by the hand and together they prayed, Authority to Massacre had no idea what was about to happen to them as they rushed forward but found themselves unable to attack ATM who were being covered by the Blood of Jesus Christ, only it wasn't actual blood like Triple H thought it was at the UPS depot last year, it was protection against demonic forces and it sent the witches flying backwards. TKO, El Con Dios and St. Michaels had dug three graves for them and Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha went flying right into them.

John Cena, Shelton Benjamin and Johnny Nitro ran over to the three men standing over the shallow graves.

"Get out of Cena Maria!" HBK yelled and Maria re-entered her body and got out of the grave.

"Get out of Johnny Ashley!" Carlito said and Ashley re-entered her body and ran over to Cena.

Get out of Shelton Krystal!" Randy said and nothing happened.

"Why isn't she re-entering her body?" Lita asked Trish.

"She likes it in Shelton," Trish replied, "She said she wants to stay in there forever,"

"Get out already before Mabatha disintegrates and destroys your body!" Randy yelled but Trish silenced him.

"She'll get out on one condition," Trish said and Randy, Shawn and Carlito looked at her like she was crazy, "She says she wants to start dating you Shelton and she wants a shot at the Women's title,"

"Well the first one he can do!" Randy said excited that Shelton was finally getting some action.

"The second thing is up to you Melina," Nitro said and Latina Heat rolled her eyes, "Come on mami, you're a Christian do the sisterly thing and give Krystal a match," then he added, "She can't beat you anyway," and Melina agreed to it.

"Get out of him quick!" Randy said and Krystal re-entered her body while , El Con Dios and TKO exorcised the witches. Their spirits rose up and Lita, Trish and Melina sent them down into the earth passed all the bones and worms into the depths of Hell.

"We couldn't save them, I feel like a failure," Lita said sadly but Trish assured her she wasn't.

"They wouldn't accept Christ and they did continual evil, we did the right thing trust me on that, now let's go we've got a plane to catch," she said and Lita frowned at her.

"Plane? We rolling in style now baby Hunter didn't get us that smokin van for decoration!" she said and everyone headed towards the red, white and blue van with Lita, Trish and Melina spray painted all over it in Canadian, Puerto Rican and American colors and DX, Team Xtreme and Rated RKO written on the sides and MNM and Carribean Cool written on the other side.

"Hey what about me?" Shelton said offended, "I know why I'm not on here, it's because I'm black isn't it?" he said irritated and Cryme Tyme popped out from nowhere.

"We're black and we got busy son, check out these rims," Shad said showing everyone the 20 inch rims.

"Nice," Randy said.

"Check out the grill," JTG said and everyone nodded that the van was awesome.

"Where'd you guys get grills and rims at midnight?" Lita asked curiously and Cryme Tyme lowered their heads and pretended not to hear her Shelton shook his.

"There's a chance the police are on their way here to arrest these guys so you better get going," he said.

"Aren't you coming to San Antonio with us?" Nitro asked him getting into he ATM Machine with Melina.

Shelton looked at Krystal and she looked at Ashley who looked at John Cena and they all nodded at each other, "We'll see you tomorrow morning," he replied holding Krystal close and she reciprocated with a kiss while Ashley and Cena made out much to Maria's relief.

"I'm yours again Punk," she thought pulling out her cell-phone and dialing CM Punk's number, she couldn't wait to see him again after spending a day in John Cena's body, she was really grateful that she was a girl.

"That's fine just miss my wife's funeral already I don't care," Shawn said irritated and Trish frowned at him.

"Shawn quit being such a diva and get in the van," she said, "It's not their responsibility to save the world, now let the kids go have fun and let's go say goodbye to your old lady,"

"Edge and Hunter are already there waiting for us, they said the place is covered with media," Lita told Shawn gently, "I told them we'd be arriving pretty soon but I say we send the media a message first,"

"What do you mean?" Shawn asked curiously.

"It's been known to get pretty hot in San Antonio what do you say I turn up the heat?" Lita said and Shawn nodded.

"Make it hot soul mate," he said watching as Lita's now blond hair changed into red locks of fire and moved according to the Anointing and flared up in a flash sending a heatwave down south so quick everybody started to sweat instantly.

"Okay that should get rid of them, let's roll," Lita said flicking her hair back and getting into the driver's seat while TKO, El Con Dios filed into the back with Trish, Melina and Nitro leaving Cena, Ashley, Shelton and Krystal to go party all night long.

"Don't forget about Britney!" Cena reminded them, "K Fed said he wants to see Sean tomorrow!"

"Yeah we'll make a note of that!" Melina said sarcastically thinking the last thing Britney Spears did when she brought her back to life was call K Fed.

The next morning, Cornerstone church, San Antonio, TX:

The Kliq had gathered in the large marble church to say goodbye to Rebecca who died yesterday in what was technically a suicide but Lita intervened on her behalf and asked God to have mercy on her so she wouldn't go to Hell. As far as Anointed Amy was concerned she didn't deserve to go to Hell, Abatha took advantage of her pain, all she wanted was to be loved as much on Earth as she was in Heaven, if she wanted to wait forever so be it, now she'd have to but at least she had Jesus to keep her company until Big Sexy got there. JC had a few wrestlers up there already waiting to greet her but Rebecca wasn't supposed to go so soon, Cameron and Cheyenne were now one parent down and he was surrounded by traitors who also wanted him dead.

HBK stood on the altar and looked down at his wife in her coffin; her naturally black hair drawn away from her face showing that she was as beautiful in death as she was in life. Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman sat at the front amongst the WWE Superstars and the McMahons, Rebecca's mother didn't come, she blamed them all for her daughter's death and she had a right to her anger. The old Shawn Michaels would have shared her sentiment but St. Michaels knew better, he was not responsible for Rebecca's demise she was the one who couldn't make good on her promise to love him for life and it was because of Lita his eternal soul mate she was living it up in Heaven instead of burning forever in Hell with Abatha, Tabatha and Mabatha. Rebecca wasn't an evil witch like them, she was just bitter and that wasn't a crime, what Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Jeff Jarrett did to her on the other hand was absolutely disgusting and Shawn was gonna let two of the Kings of Wrestling know that right now in front of his home town brethren.

"How dare you sit there, you have no right to be at this funeral!" Shawn started, "A month ago Scotty got up in front of the whole world and said that we were brothers, what kind of a man are you to rape a good Christian woman like Rebecca of her pride and her dignity Kevin?"

"She told me she was miserable I gave her what she needed!" Kevin Nash fired back standing to his feet, "I never left her Shawn, you're insatiable appetite for wrestling put Rebecca in her grave, you broke her heart you can't blame her for coming to us, if it wasn't for that freak hurricane we'd be hitting it right now!" Kevin replied and the congregation gasped in horror and Nash turned to face them brashly, "Yeah that's right, we'd do it right here in front of all you hypocrites! You know the worst thing about you Christians is that you think you're better than everyone else, do you know what your precious Heartbreak Kid did a few days ago with a wrestler by the name of Adam Copeland while he and his wife were separated? He didn't evangelize him oh no, he let him do as he very well pleased, and I've got the videotape to prove it!"

The congregation gushed, "Shawn Michaels, is that true? Did you have sex with another man while you and Rebecca were separated?" Pastor Hagee asked the Showstoppa who felt like crying right now, he couldn't stand the thousands of eyes accusing him without even hearing the Truth, luckily Trish Stratus was already on the case.

"Excuse me Pastor but when did it become acceptable for the church to crucify their brethren? For your information Shawn Michaels never had sex with Adam Copeland, he was simply obeying orders," Trish explained and the congregation mumbled amongst each other confused.

"What do you mean little lady did Shawn have sex with a man or not?" the Pastor asked The Truth, Shawn said nothing and just let Trish talk.

"If you call a hug sex then sure, Shawn was actually hugging two people - one in the spirit and one in the natural!" Trish replied and Lita lowered her head while HBK covered his face laughing.

"Trish sit down," he said and looked back up to address everyone who were rebuking him for cheating on his wife, "For the last year I have defended my marriage, I have stuck by my wife and attended to my children with love and commitment, it is starting to become clear that God never wanted me to get married; my wife is dead and I'm about to main event Wrestlemania 23, a good marriage this does not make but an exciting life full of adventure and success it does make, add Cam and Chey to that . . . Pastor I couldn't be more happier to be alive right now!"

The WWE Superstars applauded him while the congregation sat on their hands. Pastor Hagee turned to HBK and put his hand on his shoulder gently.

"I'm gonna ask you one last time," he said firmly, "Did you have sex with another man or not? If you did I have no choice but to throw you out of this church, I will not tolerate homosexuality in my congregation,"

Shawn was about to reply when Hunter came to the rescue, "Pastor just because a man likes it when men kiss him and touch his feet doesn't mean he's gay, Jesus liked having his feet touched and people kissed him all the time are you calling the Lord of Lords and the King of Kings queer? Because I don't think the millions of Americans across the nation would take kindly to that doctrine sir,"

The congregation laughed and Pastor Hagee wasn't amused, "Rebecca was a loyal woman but she was weak, she gave into her lustful appetites and if you had sex outside of your wedding bed you're no better than she is Shawn, please tell me you stuck to your wedding vows, don't make a Preacher man cry!" Pastor Hagee begged Shawn one of his most influential Church members.

Shawn looked at Edge and Lita who were kissing each other and laughing thinking the whole thing was really funny, "No Pastor I did not cheat on my wife, she's the only woman I ever loved or will ever love,"

"That's a lie," Trish said and Pastor Hagee asked her what she meant by that and Carlito and Randy quickly escorted her back to her seat before she gave away too much of the revelation God had imparted to them about HBK and Lita.

"As for the Kliq well, this church has never received so many complaints thanks to you three men," the Pastor said turning his attention to Kevin, Scott and Sean, "The church will always be divided between those who are saved and those who need saving, if you care at all about this Saint standing by my side I suggest all three of you come up here right now and give your life to Jesus,"

Kevin, Scott and Sean laughed and got up to leave, at the door Nash turned and saw his wife glaring at him with Chyna, LC, Carla, Sean Preston and Britney Spears.

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Tamara said with her hands firmly on her hips, "Rebecca dies of a broken heart and you're walking out on the man she gave 7 years and two children to? Shawn needs us, all of us and you ain't going nowhere until we reunite the Kliq,"

"Here-here!" Hunter said as Tamara led her husband up onto the altar with Chyna bringing Sean and Britney bringing Scott Hall while Cameron walked with Carla and his sister over to his father looking down the whole time.

"You look like Sinead O'Connor," HBK said to Britney who had lost her blond locks on account of all the blood in it courtesy of Abatha.

"Melina couldn't get rid of the blood so Batista shaved my head, now I look like you Trish ain't it cool?" Britney said running her hand over her head.

"No," Carlito said and everyone laughed at the pop diva but she didn't care, she was through caring what people thought of her, she had her son and millions of dollars and most important of all, her life.

"Thank you for a second chance Jesus," she prayed and sat down next to Torrie Wilson who put her arm around her and gave her bald head a kiss, when Trish saw the bemused look on the pop diva's face she passed Britney a note which she read and jumped up in shock.

"Torrie Wilson is gay?" she said and Mickie James and Victoria shrunk into their pew embarrassed.

"What are you talking about I'm not gay I'm a two time Playboy cover girl, I love men don't I fellas?" she said to all the men in the congregation who blew kisses at her and cheered her appreciatively, "See?" she said to Britney who eyed her curiously unconvinced.

"But Trish said you're gay and she can't lie," she argued.

"Oh yeah?" Torrie said turning to Trish Stratus, "If I'm gay which woman have I been gay with?"

"You don't want to go there Torrie just be quiet," Trish replied but Torrie was riled up now.

"I want to know what you know about me Stratus, come on tell the church what woman I had a relationship with I want to hear you say it!"

"Well I don't!" Mickie James jumped up suddenly and the WWE Superstars stared at her in shock.

"I knew it!" Randy Orton said.

"So did I," Shawn Michaels said to Hunter who nodded.

"No I really knew it," Randy said showing them a picture of Mickie James and Torrie Wilson kissing.

"Lesbians in my church? I don't like where this is going Shawn Michaels!" Pastor Hagee said giving HBK a warning look but the Showstoppa calmed him down assuring him he'd take care of it.

"Come here Torrie," he said and Wilson hesitantly approached the altar and the Showstoppa pulled her towards him and kissed her on the lips.

"I cast thee out!" Pastor Hagee said to HBK pointing to the church exit angrily, "No gays allowed!"

"Calm down Pastor I was just doing what I do best, wasn't I Torrie?" he smiled at the beautiful diva who was swooning like she had butterflies up her funeral dress.

"You're just a sexy boy aren't cha?" she said squeezing Shawn's cheek fondly and Pastor Hagee scratched his chin confused.

"Wait so you're not gay anymore because Shawn kissed you?" Mickie James said pulling out her hair and throwing a fit, "What about our plans I made dinner?" she said angrily and Torrie kissed her leaving the former Women's Champion stunned, "Whoa I'm not gay anymore either what happened?" she asked confused.

"Shawn's got the magic touch, he got it from Lita when he brought her back to life, his kisses makes wrong right, bad good and gay straight," Trish explained.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay," Jeff Hardy protested and St. Michaels flicked his Bible to Isaiah 40 and quoted, "The crooked places shall be made straight and rough places smooth, the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together," That means I have to get you all into Heaven people and I'll kiss every single one of you to make sure you see the King of Kings along with the rest of us,"

"So how do I fit into your little Kingdom of Heaven Shawn?" asked the bitter voice of Stephanie McMahon, "Thanks to you and your stupid Kliq I'm gonna end up like Rebecca!"

"Happy for all eternity?" Shawn asked.

"No, dead with no husband!" Stephanie replied bitterly and Chyna rolled her eyes.

"Let's talk about this after the service okay, I want to say goodbye to Rebecca first," she said.

"Here you go mom," LC said holding up a piece of paper.

"What's this?" Chyna asked her daughter.

"It's a poem I wrote it for you, it says what we all feel about Rebecca," LC said and Hunter picked her up and squeezed her lovingly as Chyna read the poem

_Never Give Up  
Never Drag Yourself In Darkness  
For That We Are Light  
That will Always Shine Brightly  
When You Need Us  
We Are ATM_

Chyna frowned and looked at her daughter who was wiping a tear from her eye, "Lisa this is about ATM it says nothing about Rebecca," she said puzzled.

"Okay pass it back," LC said and Chyna handed the eulogy back to her daughter who momentarily gave it back to her.

"_Love Rebecca_," Chyna read out and Hunter started laughing and picked LC up and put her on his back.

"I'll take it from here," Hunter said and he was about to speak when Shawn put his hand over the mic and shook his head.

"No Hunter LC had it right all along, this is what Rebecca would have wanted you, me and Chyna standing all around her with our children, right Trish?" Shawn asked the Truth.

"Rebecca couldn't care less about reuniting the Kliq, all she ever wanted was for you to be happy and you're not happy," Trish replied and Chyna and Hunter frowned confused.

"I am happy I've never been more happy in my life, Chyna's back, Hunter reunited with his daughter, this is all I've ever wanted!" Shawn argued, "What more could I want?"

Trish looked over at Lita who was kissing Edge and shook her head, Carlito kissed her and Randy started clapping and everyone else copied him thinking Shawn Michaels deserved applause for his courage in moving on with his life, but what Randy was really doing was biding Trish some time, because when she told Shawn the thing missing from his life to make him completely happy, there might be another funeral service coming up before the day was over. Matt tapped Orton on the shoulder.

"I know what Shawn needs to be completely happy," he said.

"So do I," Jeff chimed in.

"Keep it down boys," Undertaker said admonishing the Hardy Boyz.

"Yes sir," the said at the same time and filed out of the church to Shawn's ranch where Rebecca would be immortalized in a memorial site.

"Hey Matt, why doesn't Shawn come live with us," Jeff asked his brother enthusiastically.

"Are you crazy why would Shawn Michaels want to live with us?" Matt replied critically.

"What's he gonna do stay with the McMahons?" Jeff replied and Matt shrugged.

"No of course not, he'll probably stay with Naitch - hey, maybe we could convince him to stay with us instead!" Matt realized.

"Yeah!" Jeff agreed, "We can still stop the wedding,"

"What wedding?" Matt asked his brother deviously and Jeff looked at Edge scornfully.

"Exactly," he said rubbing his hands together pointing his fingers at Edge's head in the shape of a gun and pulling the trigger.

**_In loving memory of Anna Nicole Smith RIP._**


	31. Beloved

Title: The Adventures of ATM: Love, Hate and Weapons of Mass Destruction

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.

Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus (not married in this story), Melina, DX, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, John Cena, Cryme Tyme, The Hardyz, Undertaker, Batista, The McMahons, Maria, CM Punk, LAX, Britney Spears, the Kliq and various WWE and TNA wrestlers.

Summary: Shawn's troubled marriage gets media attention and ATM are ready to go to war but in the battle for true love will anybody be left standing? The Adventures of ATM continue.

Thirty - Beloved

Tuesday afternoon, Rebecca's Memorial, San Antonio, TX

Never more than now did anyone ever think the WWE was cool, Vince McMahon had been on the news all week talking about how his Divas saved the world and that the WWE were responsible for finding the Weapons of Mass Destruction and the world believed him, in reality things were a lot more somber because while Rebecca Michaels was in Heaven at the Right Hand of the Father, Shawn Michaels was still on Earth a widower and father of two young children, things couldn't have been worse for the co-founder of DX but overcoming adversity was not a problem for St. Michaels who was on his old ranch now turned into a Memorial for Rebecca, his dearly departed wife of 7 years.

He leaned over her tombstone and kissed the marble while Cheyenne and Cameron wept not with sadness but with joy because they knew their mother was in a better place now, it was a shame their grandmother didn't think so as Karen wanted them to come stay with her in Florida while HBK "sorted himself out". Shawn kissed the Chimallis necklace he bought Rebecca for her last birthday and placed it on her grave.

"Farewell my beloved," he said, "Come on kids let's go," he said taking Cameron by the hand and Cheyenne in his arms and walking towards the ATM Machine where ATM, TKO, El Con Dios, Edge and Hunter were waiting for him all in black. The WWE Superstars were heading back to Florida to Trish and Carlito's house in Boca Vista and Shawn couldn't wait to get going; being with Rebecca was something he'd never forget, but hanging around outside her grave which was sprouting flowers and had the sun shining down on it was too much for the Heartbreak Kid to bear.

"So it's on to grandma's house," Lita said picking up Cheyenne and holding Cameron by the hand as HBK cried in the arms of the Cerebral Assassin while Edge brushed his hair.

"Knock it off," Hunter said batting Edge's hand away irritated.

"Don't stop," Shawn told Edge and Hunter exchanged glances with Lita who smiled and said, "They're so gay,"

Everyone laughed as Shawn and Edge kissed Hunter on either side of his face, "Come on kids we're going to Disneyland!" Trish said excitedly.

"Yea!" Cameron and Cheyenne cheered and off they drove for Orlando, Florida to go and the rides and see and the miraculous restoration of TNA.

Universal Studios, Orlando, FL:

ATM had done it again, after Rebecca's funeral the Kliq told Anointed Amy, Melina the Miraculous and The Truth Trish Stratus that it would be wonderful if they could restore the home of TNA so the show could go on because that's what Rebecca would have wanted. They confessed that they did wrong and repented of their sins so the angelic trio encircled Hurricane Aurora and prayed for the total restoration of Universal Studios in Orlando, but it wasn't easy, The McMahons were against the idea of restoring TNA in any way, shape or form but ATM encouraged them to be sympathetic so they could reverse Aurora's curse with their prayers and before the eyes of the thousands of tourists and paparazzi the broad walk was restored and so was the home of TNA at Universal Studios.

After taking Cameron and Cheyenne to Disneyworld and spending a few hours there, the WWE and TNA wrestlers went over to Trish and Carlito's house . . .

"Halleluiah!" Sting said praising God with Kurt Angle and the rest of the TNA roster, "TNA owns the wrestling world!" he declared and his locker room mates cheered along with him but a certain rebellious part of the roster had been missing for sometime now, "Has anybody seen LAX?" The Stinger asked the wrestlers who were applauding Melina, Trish and Amy for their good work. Trish showed him the cover of USA Today where a picture of Homicide, Hernandez and CM Punk was plastered all over the front.

"John Cena's been shot!" Nitro said looking down over his sunglasses.

"By LAX!" Kurt Angle said grabbing the paper from him.

"Don't worry he survived, Shelton, Krystal and Ashley got him to the hospital in time," Trish told them and everyone breathed a sigh of relief, "In fact he's feeling great," she continued, "So great he impregnated Maria, who wants pancakes?"

Everyone stared at the Truth like she had just admitted to having an incurable disease and even that would have been less of a shock considering the adventures ATM had been through over the past 6 months, "John Cena got Maria pregnant? Maria CM Punk's girlfriend?" Melina asked her sister in Christ as she batted the butter for the pancake mix in the kitchen.

"You're pregnant too," Trish told Melina licking the butter off her fingers, "Or more accurately, you will be in the morning," she said with a cheeky smile looking at Nitro who jumped up and hugged his wife ecstatically.

"Oh my God we're gonna have a baby!" he said excitedly, "I love you so much mama," he added with a kiss but Melina didn't reciprocate and Lita frowned at Shawn who frowned at Hunter who frowned at the picture Carlito was sticking up on the inside of the ATM Machine outside.

"Take that piece of crap down, that's a $1 million dollar van," Hunter said heading for the cool Christian from the Caribbean while Lita asked Melina what was up with her sour puss.

"I don't want to have a baby, I'm the Women's Champion and I've got a match against Ashley Massaro at Wrestlemania," Melina explained and Nitro shrugged.

"So what?" he said simply, "This is more important than some stupid belt,", "Drop the title to Mickie James she could do with something to take her mind off Torrie Wilson,"

Shawn and TKO laughed, "Nothing can take your mind off Torrie Wilson," HBK said and Edge nodded thinking he had a job to do later on: play match maker to Torrie and newly available Shawn Michaels.

"Melina you don't have to have a baby right now, Nitro can wait until you're ready to settle down," Lita said and Shawn interrupted her abruptly.

"I agree with Nitro what's more important, being a good mother or a selfish diva?" he asked Lita who felt like punching him.

"So Rebecca dies and all women who aren't at home with the kids are selfish divas?" she replied offended and Shawn nodded, "So what does that make me?"

"You're Anointed Amy you can do no wrong, Melina and Nitro are married it's time to stop being a spoiled over indulged Diva and settle down," HBK said firmly and Edge applauded.

"Here-here, drop the title and retire so you can run around with these two instead," he said and Melina screamed causing everyone to run out of Trish and Carlito's kitchen to the back garden.

"Was it something I said?" Edge asked Lita who rolled her eyes and went to join Hunter and Carlito who were wrestling on the pavement.

"I said give it here!" Hunter barked pulling Carlito's hair as the cool one tried to stick up his wedding present to Edge and Lita inside the ATM Machine.

"Knock it off Hunter," Lita said and Hunter relented, "I think the poster's cool,"

She kissed Carlito on the head and smiled her famous Mona Lisa smile, "I love you El Con Dios," she said warmly and Hunter frowned.

"What's the matter with you?" he asked suspecting Lita was out here for a reason.

"I don't wanna talk about it, wanna go for a drive somewhere?" Lita asked Hunter hopefully but the Cerebral Assman frowned confused.

"But Shawn wants to go see Karen we're supposed to drive down to Palm Springs together he'd be really pissed if I bailed on him to go riding around Florida with a hot Diva," he replied.

"I'll drive," Lita said.

"Shotgun!" Hunter replied getting into the passenger's seat and Lita shook her head wondering if Hunter knew how smart he made dumb look most of the time. Carlito watched as they drove off with his poster placed nicely on the inside wondering what got Lita so upset that she needed to leave so soon.

"Must be something serious," he thought scratching his afro which was fully restored to its nappy glory thanks to Melina the Miraculous, "I forgot to thank her," Carlito realized and went back inside to find Melina and Nitro in the midst of a heated debate about a baby.

"Carlito understands don't you papi?" Melina said dragging the cool one into the fray.

"What does Carlito understand?" El Con Dios asked confused.

"That I don't wanna have a baby right now!" Melina said vehemently and Carlito jumped for joy and spun her around ecstatically.

"You're pregnant? Congratulations chica!" he said giving her a big hug, Trish gave Melina one of her "I told you so" looks.

"Everybody loves babies until they have them," she said stroking Melina's luscious raven curls warmly, "But you were born to give birth mami, this is your destiny,"

"Destiny?" Melina repeated confused and Randy Orton felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden.

"Randy don't worry she's not talking about you," Trish told TKO who breathed a sigh of relief, "You've got until tonight to think about this Mel, don't make the wrong decision,"

"Okay now we've got that under control let's go to Palm Springs and see what the wicked witch of South Beach wants," HBK said picking up Cheyenne's coat as she slept in his arms but Cameron didn't move, "Come on shake a leg lil man let's go," he said to his first born son.

"I don't wanna stay with grandma," he pouted crossing his arms stubbornly across his chest, "I wanna stay here with Tristen and Aunt Nash,"

Shawn Michaels smiled and sat down next to his son, "That might not be a good idea just yet son, Big Kev and Tammy got a lot of stuff to work out before they can start having us over again,"

"But you forgave him Daddy? Doesn't that mean he gets a get out of Hell free pass, things should be as they were before mom died and you went queer eye for the Rated R guy," Cameron replied and the Kliq laughed coming in from the lounge with Tamara and the TNA Knockouts.

"Christie Hemme, long time no see," Trish said giving her former rival a hug, "How's Dave, still putting you away wet?"

"Stratus!" St. Michaels rebuked her covering his daughter's ears and everyone pointed out that she was asleep, "So? Babies can here things even when their eyes are closed, how do you think Cameron found out about sex?"

"By watching your old matches?" Big Kev replied and Shawn rolled his eyes and let that one slide.

"Just because I forgive you doesn't mean I'm gonna forget what you did to my wife Nash, just watch out or I'm gonna kick your face off," Shawn warned him.

"That's no way for a Christian to talk," So Cal Val said unimpressed with HBK's attitude.

"See Val, that's the difference between those who are called to serve God and those who know Him by Name," Shawn said

"What the Hell does that mean?" Tamara asked Shawn and El Con Dios put his hand up suddenly and everyone looked at him.

"God says you should give Lita away at her wedding," he told Shawn and Edge fell down.

"What?" he yelled pulling out his hair, "Are you freaking kidding me after everything I did to get her father to talk to her again?"

"What are you talking about?" Shawn asked Edge confused, "Lita can't stand her father, why would she want him to give her away?"

"Because he's her father and the Bible says honor your mother and your father," Edge replied.

"What does God say to that Carlito?" Shawn asked El Con Dios who was getting an Instant Message from God.

"He said you are more important to Lita than her own father," Carlito replied and Randy and Trish nodded knowing it was the Truth and it had to be said.

"I don't want you at Lita's side when I walk down that isle Shawn, you guys are not supposed to be together all the time just in Heaven remember? Right here, on Earth Amy belongs to me!" Edge cried and glass shattered causing everybody to duck.

"What on Earth was that?" Scott Hall said ducking behind Trish's favorite arm chair.

"It must have been UFC, I hate those punks!" Kevin Nash replied.

"No it wasn't," Trish replied getting to her feet and everyone followed her gaze which stopped at the red-head glaring at Edge threw the front window with Hunter standing at her side.

"Bad news travels fast in the Spirit Realm," TKO told Edge and the Rated R Superstar frowned at him confused.

"What bad news what are you talking about?" he asked and Randy told him to be strong but Edge just got angry and shook him violently, "Tell me in normal language what bad news am I supposed to get!" he demanded.

"The wedding's off!" Lita cried causing everyone to gasp including Edge who ran over to her but his hands burnt as soon as he touched her she was furious, "I am not some prize to be won I am a servant of the Most High and you need to stop treating me like a piece of meat Adam," she snapped and threw her engagement ring at him which Shawn Michaels caught and shook his head.

"Put this on," he told Lita who looked at him like he was crazy, "Put this ring on your finger you are getting married to Edge in a week if I have to drag you to the altar myself,"

Edge gasped he couldn't believe Shawn was on his side, "And all this time I thought you wanted to steal her from me," he said smiling brightly, "I love you Shawn!" he said ecstatically and kissed HBK on the lips and Shawn reciprocated, really reciprocated.

"Oh my God!" Christie Hemme said in shock.

"I told you, he's queer as folk." Kevin Nash told his wife who couldn't believe what she was seeing.

"Shawn stop making out with Lita's fiancé!" Hunter said pulling the two apart but Shawn was stuck to Edge it was like something was drawing them together, it was then that Hunter realized that they weren't kissing they were actually stuck to each other.

"Get her!" Shawn mumbled pointing to Lita who was running away.

"What did you say?" Hunter asked Shawn trying to understand what his best friend was saying but he couldn't because his lips were stuck to Edge.

"Get herre!" Shawn said again but Hunter shook his head confused.

"I don't understand what you're saying," he said frustrated luckily his daughter was fluent in suck face and LC tripped up Lita and dragged her back into the house by her hair.

"I believe this is yours Mr. Copeland?" Lisa Cornelius Helmsley said and frowned at the kissing men in front of her, "What have we got here? Two queens and a king," she said admiring her father and Hunter laughed along with everyone else at Lisa's irreverent wit, it was so Helmsley.

"It's Lita she's manipulating Shawn's anointing to keep from getting chewed out, Lita knock it off come on there's nothing you can do to stop the Truth from getting out, is it so bad to have Shawn walk you down the isle instead of your father?" Trish asked the Anointed one who got to her feet with Lisa hanging from her neck.

"Yes it is!" she snapped, "I don't like having my special day arranged for me, why do I have to be "given away" this is a ceremony to declare that I love Adam, not an auction!"

"But you don't just love Adam, you love Shawn as well, they should both be there on your wedding day," Melina explained and Lita nodded.

"Okay fine but can I please enjoy being single for just one week? I wanna go on vacation with my girls do you guys mind just leaving me alone with the girls and Chyna and Hunter for a week?" Lita asked Shawn and Adam who got offended.

"How come Hunter?" Shawn asked indignantly.

"Well we talked about it in the ATM Machine and we decided that it would be best if you got on with your life and stopped living through mine Shawn," Lita said and HBK balked.

"I am not living through you I'm just looking after you that's all!" he argued.

"No you're acting like my father and I already have one and I don't want us to end up like that," Lita replied and Shawn crossed his arms angrily and turned away.

"So why Hunter again?" Edge asked also agitated by this news.

"Because he wants to spend some time getting to know Chyna and Lisa, what better way to get to know each other than on the road?" Lita explained excitedly and Melina nodded throwing her hand up for a hi five.

"Road trip!" she exclaimed.

"So I guess Hunter's gonna be Stiffler," Shawn said cynically.

"Whooo!" Hunter cheered,

"Yeah except he won't be able to score," Lita replied.

"Oh!" Hunter complained and Aurora giggled merrily proving that it was okay for Lisa to be part of her family.

"So DX and ATM will be tearing it up across America while Stephanie, Jericho and Vince sort out Joanie's legal entitlements, way to ruin our engagement Amy!" Edge snapped.

"And that's the best part right? The part where I'm not there," Shawn cried and ran out of the house angrily and Edge followed him.

"What's with them?" Lita asked Hunter and Triple H dismissed them.

"I think my daughter said it best, they're a pair of queens," Hunter replied kissing both his daughters, "And I'm a King," he said to himself and said a prayer of thanks to the real King of Kings Jesus Christ for everything he had, everything he didn't have and all that was yet to come, "Thank you Jesus," he said.

Your welcome, Jesus replied from above as the other side of DX went to find his sugary side with ATM and friends without whom he never would have known how awesome it is to be loved in life and in death eternally and forever.

To Be Continued.

**_The Adventures of ATM will conclude in Heaven is a Place on Earth!_**


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